A/N: i wrote this in class a few months ago it's kind of a mess but i'll probably get around to revising it sometime. also in this i projected onto y/n with my eczema skin problem which doesn't usually get a lot of attention as an insecurity :DDD
~~ where tsukishima and y/n walk home together after practice :0~~
rock guitar blasts through my ears as i comb two fingers through the sides of my hair. the drum bass beat syncs up with my head bopping. my sneakers skid with a squeak against the yellow-ish wood as i bend down to pick up a stray volleyball. the pads of my fingers squish the smooth yellow and blue stripes of the ball.
"say there's this person you pass in the hall everyday," i start off singing quietly. i toss the ball i just picked up into the metal barred cage of volleyballs. "you've known him since seventh grade."
"you're used to thinking about him in a certain way~" i sing, unknowingly increasing the volume of my voice. i glance up to spot tsukishima making eye contact with me from across the gym, with his bag strapped around him. i mumble the next lyrics under my breath. "from the persona that he displays.."
increasing the speed at which i'm picking up volleyballs to escape as fast as possible, i try to ignore the much taller volleyball player. he was, unlike his very nice best friend, the intimidating type. the first time we both encountered each other in a practice between the girls' and boy's team, he scared me. it's mostly because of a few instances during that first practice together that i totaled up, in which he looked at me in a weird way. i wouldn't say it was glare, but more of a judging look, as if there was something wrong with my appearance.
unfortunately for me, that was the day i decided to reveal my eczema scars, which were all over my legs and arms. up until that point i was pretty insecure about them, so when i was stared at by a popular boy in my grade, my confidence was crushed. ever since then i haven't worn short sleeves or taken off thigh highs. a few times, though, on separate occasions, i caught myself staring at the attractive blond. i couldn't help myself. his smarts weren't the only reason he was popular. he's actually quite attractive, but it's his personality that just makes me shy away.
"-that guy that i'd kinda be into-" stephanie tsu's voice sounds into my ears. my eyes trail up to tsukishima, who sort of fits into this song. "is he worth it? tsukki?~ is he?" did i hear that right? was that my mind playing tricks on me? wasn't that lyric supposed to be 'jeremy'?
"hey." a voice fairly near calls me. telling by the slight softness and perfect pitch of the voice(yes, i have a thing for voices), it's tsukishima. his tone was obviously scary. i only feel a fraction of the fear yachi feels towards men, especially him. feeling hopeless, i don't even bother to attempt to pretend i cannot hear him.
"yes?" i answer, turning my music down to 2 bars. by now i was halfway through the second verse. oh yeah and tsukishima's also in front of me. he's close enough that i have to tilt my head upwards to make eye contact with him.
"you need help?" those were words i never expected to come out of his mouth. i can tell how awkward he is by scratching the back of his head. despite his kindness, i take a big gulp and crack my knuckles.
"i'm fine, thanks," i shortly respond, walking past him to pick up more balls. even if i said yes, i'd probably embarrass myself in front of him or something. he already is disgusted with my skin, what more?
"i've got time on my hands anyway." he proceeds to toss his bag aside to the wall and help me clean up.
"really, it's fine. you don't have to help," i approach the cage of balls. he walks up to me with two in his hands. dumping them in, his frown turns into a straighter line of a mouth.
"i've got nothing better to do, why not?" umm because i don't want to embarass myself? i mentally curse him as he picks up the rest of the stray balls and tosses them into the container. we then move the container into the storage, and close it down with a sigh from me of relief.
"thanks," i walk alongside him for a bit, but then split up when we need to get our bags.
"don't mention it," he shrugs. i can't help but smile. this guy isn't so scary after all. "let's go home?"
i'm fairly sure he blurted that out instead of meaning that, as it was so nonchalant. we've never even had a conversation without the accompaniment of other people. it was so informal that a hum slipped out of my mouth for clarification. does he actually mean-
"home?" he repeats himself. "unless you're gonna stop by somewhere. in that case-"
"no- i um. i'm going home." he joins up beside me. he seems to not take a hint. how do i tell him to go away without saying it straight up?
"let's go then." 'let's'?! i can't escape this, can i? everytime i even try to look at him, i start to shiver. whether it be my hand or legs, some part of my body is shaking in some sort of way. he makes me so nervous whenever he's close. too scary.
my head sinks into my shoulders as i walk next to tsukishima kei. the route we're taking is to my house. side glancing at the boy wearing headphones next to me, i pull my sleeves down, past my hands. does he know where i live? the biting fall air nips at our rosy cheeks. this weather is making it really worse. despite wanting to ignore tsukishima's presence, i keep my music to a minimum volume. i can't even hear my music. just in case he says something or does something, i have to keep music at a low. a cursed breeze blows against me, pushing my hair away from the sides of my face and stabbing my ears. i deeply exhale into my hands for warmth and cup my ears.
"you cold?" tsukishima's soft voice asks as he pulls a headphone behind the ear closest to me. oh, his headphones act like earmuffs.
"no, i'm fine," i tense up at his observance. yes, i am slightly shivering, but that's mostly because i'm terrified of him.
"mm.." he hums as he takes his headphones off and puts them over my ears. since his head is much larger in proportion to mine, the cushioned parts sagged on my ears. "wait a second." he stops me by standing in front of me and bending down to adjust them. my body heats up as i watch his concentrated face. he's so-
"thanks," i sheepishly tell him. he plants a palm on the top of my head to support him rising up. my eyes widen as he pets my head before joining my side again.
"umm!" i blurt out. by now he's a little bit in front of me because i couldn't move due to the situation that just happened. tsukishima turns behind and raises an eyebrow. shit, i didn't mean to say anything. i need to make something up. i pull down one of my sleeves out of nervousness. "oh, sorry i didn't mean to-"
during that period of me taking my sweet time to think of an excuse, he was making his way over to me. once again, my nervous fidgets aren't on my side and make tsukishima think i'm cold. he takes my seemingly small hand that i just pulled a sleeve over in his huge one. i knew he was tall, but i didn't know he was this tall. my jaw hitches at his actions.
"oh, no- that's not what i meant-" i try to explain but he just drags me along by my hand. with his personality, i would've expected his hands to be cold, but they're surprisingly warm. of course, like me, his hands are a little roughened because we're volleyball players. especially because he's a middle blocker. i hear him crack out a laugh and follow through.
"what?" i ask insecurely. he probably thinks i'm weird or something and he's judging me. well, first of all, that's his opinion and i don't think i'm weird. secondly, i don't know what's so interesting about me. i've done nothing to him. literally. we don't interact.
"why are you so nervous?" he obliviously asks. i subconsciously give his hand a little squeeze. because you're scary and you've been judging me since the day you laid eyes on me.
"huh?" i quickly respond. "oh, umm- i'm not really that nervous. what makes you think that?" he looks at me with an obvious look and raises our hands.
"you're shaking, and i don't think you're that cold." i go to open my mouth, but then shut it. at least he recognizes that i'm nervous. he's observant like that.
"yeah," i deflate for a second. "sorry, it's not that you're a bad person or anything. you've actually been pretty nice. i'm just a little scared of you." from my peripherals i see that he's gotten a little more serious.
"why?" he genuinely inquiries.
"well" i debate whether to tell him or not. as the meme says, pshh, yolo! "when we had our first joint practice, it was the first time i had openly worn short sleeves and shorts because i'd always been insecure about my eczema scars. that whole practice i saw you kept staring at me and judging me, so i-"
"ah, it's about that?" he sounds a little embarrassed and mumbles the next part. "you still remember that?"
"forgive me if i came off as judging you," he apologizes. "i just thought you were pretty." i can't even react.
"what?" is the only thing i can quickly blurt out. my knees feel weak right now. there's so much to unpack here. i feel a squeeze at the warmer one of my hands.
"well-"
"i-i mean," i cut him off. "thank you, but i thought you were judging me." i start to giggle. it's more of a nervous or embarrassed laugh, but lighthearted nonetheless.
"i wasn't. everyone can see that you're fairly good looking." he states as if it were a fact. he's gotta be joking right now. no one can see it because it's not true. my only friends are in the girls' volleyball team, which barely even gets recognized as a club by the principal. i'm not popular like him. no one goes up to me and confesses, no one sneaks glances at me, heads don't turn when they see me, and no one compliments me.
"weird," i mumble. he most probably didn't hear me, which is fine. it mostly wasn't for him to hear. it's just my inner thoughts being expressed verbally.
"not really," he shrugs it off. well it seems he did hear me. "why? are you that oblivious?" wh- oblivious?! my guy, i literally see no signs of anyone showing interest in me on a daily basis.
"not oblivious. i just don't see it. no one really shows interest in me," my confused eyebrows furrow. i hear him sigh at a fairly loud volume. i'm annoying him. topic change time! "anyways, i think-"
"god, you really are blind." wow, rude. "even the king talked about you. i didn't think he was capable of showing interest in anything besides food and volleyball." the king?... oh! kageyama. he showed interest in me?
"yeah, we're both setters and we've had many joint practices. it's natura-" i hear a large smack. tsukishima's facepalming himself. "look, thank you for the compliment. let's move on-"
"y/n," my ears heat up at him calling my name. he holds a phone with the front camera facing me in front of me. we've stopped walking for the 150th time. i can spot a few pimples, clogged pores, a blackheaded nose, eyebags, and a mole on my chin. yeah, so pretty. amazing. i look up at him.
"what is this supposed to mean?" i ask, looking into his eyes. he grabs the top of my head with one hand and turns it back towards the camera.
"look. look at yourself. maybe then you'll see-"
"that i'm just a plain person? dude, i don't see where this is going." i can practically hear him steaming with agitation. "come on, let's just change the subject-"
"you're probably the prettiest girl i've ever seen.. hey, what's with that face?" he asks in a judgemental tone. i had sucked my lips into a frown to try and stifle a laugh. a noise erupts from the back of my mouth, making me shut my mouth tighter. "are you laughing?"
"nope, no." i shake my head with a smile as he glares at me. i cannot take him seriously. whatever he's saying is ridiculous.
"what's so funny? all i did was compliment you." i'm still the only one smiling/laughing. he's looking at me like it isn't funny. well humor is subjective, but i guess it isn't that funny. it just sounds so wrong that he's making it up.
"sorry," i clear my throat after accepting the fact he isn't enjoying my enjoyment. after taking one look at him, i start to walk along the road again. we have to pick up the pace. my body twitches as it feels the loss of warmth at my fingertips. that's right. he was holding my hand. wait. i physically stop. i'm so dumb. my body whips around to a tsukishima walking towards me with a scorn on his face. tsukishima kei likes me. he gave me his headphones, held my hand, and called me pretty. ever since we first made eye contact- no. he's liked me all this time.
"shit." i mutter under my breath as he catches up to me.
"what?" i stare at him in silence. i don't know what to say. he so obviously likes me. do i confront him about it? what if i'm wrong? no, i can't be. and if by some chance i am, then it would be right of me to assume it.
"tsukishima kei, do you like me?" i ask in a shy yet sort of firm tone. the confidence was there. that's all that matters. he looks at me with an unreadable expression.
"yeah, i do." he states then proceeds to continue the path on his own. after taking a few seconds to process, i catch up to him, but he still looks forward with an unchanging expression.
"wait, like have a crush on me? not like a friend?" i ask eagerly by his side. he deeply sighs, closing his eyes.
"yes, i like you in a crush way." he says that as if he's repulsed by the word. it's not that bad of a word. kid acts all cool but he's being immature right now. it's just a crush. what a child."do you like me?" he asks as he side-glances at me. is he- nervous? pfft-
"tsukishima kei," i gasp dramatically. "are you nervous right now?" his annoyed expression shows that he didn't take the teasing well. yet, he seems a little embarrassed. is he blushing?!?!@?
"no," he full heartedly says with annoyance. "can you just- answer the question?"
"i don't see why it would matter," i shrug.
"because i like you dumbass!" he explodes, stopping for the 500th time. i don't think we'll ever return home. i stand in front of him cheerfully.
"i know, me too," i nonchalantly comment with no weight in the tone i used. he huffs and looks away, trying to suppress a smile. a grab of his hand by mine averts his attention to me. "now we have two options."
"which are?" he inquisitively smirks. i like his attitude. kinda. normally this would've scared me, but it's now flirty, so..
"we can~~ go to a small cafe-bakery near my house or.. we can go home."
"mmm~" he plays along and drags me along, starting to walk again. "does this cafe have strawberry shortcake?"
"hmm," i seriously think for a moment. "uh, yeah. i think so-"
"let's go." i could practically see stars in his eyes. i'm mentally noting that he loves strawberry shortcake. i smile to myself as my hand curls comfortably against tsukishima's.
2709 words.