"Why do we know, but act like we don't?" -Seeker
Harry's POV
I ran out of the house with guilt on my conscience. This was just a backup plan, the suicide note is only if she actually did it. Which I really hope she didn't, because I don't want to kill one of my closest friends. I don't wanna kill my family.
I don't want to kill Ryleigh
I opened my garage door and jogged over to my usual black Lamborghini, climbing into the driver's seat and buckling myself in. Before I got the chance to back out, I slammed on the gas pedal and drove out onto the main road.
As I drove down the long road, everything replayed in my head that's been distracting me from this upcoming moment. Kennedy killed a man for me yesterday. For me. A cold blooded murder who plays god on humans lives.
The only question is, why?
Why would she add to her body count? Why would she do that for me? I've been nothing but a dick to her. But then, she begged me to fuck her yesterday and any ounce of restraint completely vanished from my body.
She did it because she likes me. I don't know how or why but she does. And the funny thing is, I don't regret what we did last night. I know we did it after having an annoying argument to which she was just putting the blame on me.
But the feeling of her perfect lips on mine in the hot room was something I could only describe as heaven. I never let girls stay over my house into the next morning, let alone stay the rest of the day with me.
But I guess Kennedy wasn't just a hookup to satisfy my needs. I don't know what she is because it's been awhile since I've done something remotely related to feelings, but I know it's something.
Along side with me fucking her and her killing someone, I told her the truth. I showed her the video of my father, cut down a bit because she needs to be kept in the dark about some things.
I'm not trying to protect myself or her this time, I just have some things on that tape only I know. Everyone else doesn't even know, but I do. She doesn't need to know all the roots but she got what she's been wanting.
An explanation
I'm scared as fuck because everything I've done these past few days have gone against what the dice. I rolled to get involved with her, and they said no. But I did it anyway. I rolled to tell her the truth, another no. But I still fucking did it.
There's nothing I can do now, the damage is done. I couldn't trust the dice this time. I mean, the two red dye dangling from my mirror in front of me is just taunting me right now.
I fucked up, bad
Before I knew it, the drive was done and I was pulling into Alea. It was later in the day so the club was open, but I wasn't going to be here long. Louis and Liam are taking care of that tonight while I worry about this.
The passenger side door opened to reveal a blonde head stepping into the car and sitting. Natalie looked up to my eyes with a look of sadness. She frowned looking at my tense facial expression.
"We don't have to do this you know. You could just take her word for it." Natalie looks back at the club to see Ryleigh approaching the car.
"No, I need to. I fucking hate liars and traitors." I clutched the steering wheel tighter in my hands.
"Are you actually gonna do it if she confesses?" Natalie fixed her loose white tank top while watching Ryleigh closely.
"I don't want to, but Ryleigh knows what she's done and what the consequences are." I cleared my throat as Ryleigh opened the back seat door.
Ryleigh was wearing her usual black heels and dress. She had a cropped leather jacket to go with her dark apparel. She ran her fingers through her hair before looking up to me staring at her.
"Let's just get this over with, I have shit to do." Ryleigh groaned, looking to the window beside her.
I hope you get to do that shit Ryleigh
I put my hand behind Natalie's headrest and looked behind me, pulling out and onto the street. I was taking us to one of our warehouses, where we questioned our hostages.
I would have done this in the casino but I ran into Kennedy type problems. I need an empty and secluded place, especially since I know this is going to hurt like a bitch.
I am taking a chance at fucking crying
It was a quick drive into a deserted part of Nevada. The terrain looked similar to Kennedy's kidnapping place, but completely out of range. I parked the car in the small garage attached to the rusty metal building and unlocked the doors.
We all climbed out of the car, fixing our appearances before walking towards the steel door. It was huge with a pin and a slot to show your eyes. I kept this place secret and secluded, very few people we're allowed here.
I walked up to the door first, plugging in the code before looking up. The eyepiece slid open, revealing a pair of brown eyes. The brown orbs barely looked at me before opening the door for us.
We all stepped into the dark hallway. It had small lights on the metal floor, barely illuminating the place. We walked down the narrow hallway to the end, opening a door and walking into it.
It was a type of room police interview criminals in. Expect, blood coated the walls and there were a range of torture devices and weapons hung on the back wall. Natalie locked the door behind us and turned the long lamp beside the table, on.
Ryleigh immediately sat down in the hot seat, crossing her legs and leaning on the silver table. I sat across from her and felt Natalie's hand on my shoulder as she stood behind me, ready to analyze.
Here goes nothing
"Do you know why I'm questioning you?" I asked first, trying to maintain an intimidating voice but it was hard when all I was feeling was fear.
Fear of the truth
"You still don't believe me." Ryleigh answered while sitting back in her seat and crossing her arms.
"No, I don't. Because you're all too suspicious to be innocent of this." I narrowed my eyes at hers. She didn't flinch.
"I didn't kill half of our workers dipshit. What kind of inner circle member would I be?" Ryleigh smirked to herself while air quoting the words, inner circle member. She needs to cut the attitude right the fuck now.
"If you didn't, who did?" I crossed my airs and remained in a relaxed position while facing her.
"How should I fucking know? I'm not an FBI agent." Ryleigh rolled her eyes before scoffing.
"Look me in the eyes and tell me you didn't help kill those workers." I leaned forward towards the table.
"I didn't kill the workers." Ryleigh's eyes stayed on mine while saying something I didn't tell her to say.
"That's not what I asked. I want you to say you didn't take part in it." I was starting to get more and more worried.
Ryleigh's a shit liar
"Same thing." Ryleigh shrugged and wandered her eyes around the room. I chuckled to myself.
"Say it Ryleigh!" I slammed my hand on the table, making her flinch and lock her blue crystals on mine.
I remember looking into your eyes for the first time Ry.
"I didn't fucking kill the workers!" She shouted back, locking her jaw while giving me the death glare.
"That's not what I fucking asked! What do you do on Tuesday and Thursday huh? You never miss work." I pressed my lips in a line, turning my fear into absolute rage. I was getting pissed now.
She's only proving me correct. I don't want to be correct
"Would you believe me if I told you I had a life outside of the fucking organization?" Ryleigh spat out.
"Harry, she can't make eye contact." Natalie whispered into my ear, looking at Ryleigh with a frown.
"Shut up Natalie, who's side are you on?" Ryleigh slammed down on the table, shooting knives through her eyes at Natalie.
"I'm sorry but I find it hard to believe you, Ryleigh Horan, have a fucking boyfriend." I snickered.
Get her mad
"Dick, I do have a boyfriend. That's where I go every Tuesday and Thursday." Ryleigh looked everywhere but at me.
"Look me in the fucking eyes and say that." I growl at her, keeping a face of fury painted on to my features.
"I didn't fucking kill them!" She shouts loudly back at me, making Natalie flinch at the volume.
"I didn't fucking ask that! You're a shit liar Ryleigh, just confess and we can make this easier." I stood up and leaned on the table, gaining leverage over her. She stood up as well.
"I have nothing to confess to you fucking douchebag." Ryleigh's face got close to mine, I could feel her shaky hot breath.
She's nervous
I tilted my head up to look down on her. Her eyes were erratic and you could see the sweat building in her hair line. She's nervous, she knows I know she's lying. She knows she is going to get caught.
But I need her to confess
"I'm going to ask you this again. What do you do on Tuesdays and Thursdays." I reiterated my previous question.
"I fucking told you, I hang out with my boyfriend." Ryleigh barked back, her cheeks were turning red.
"Bullshit. I couldn't even dominate you, let alone some fucking rando on the street." I stood up straight and crossed my arms.
"Awe is your ego bruised knowing I found someone better?" Ryleigh pouted and flashed me fake puppy dog eyes.
"No, my ego is bruised by you thinking I'm that dumb to not realize what you've been doing." I bite back, slamming my hand against the table again and scaring Natalie.
"You don't know what you're talking about." Ryleigh shook her head and collapsed back in the seat.
"Really? So, you aren't still in contact with your mother? You weren't the one who avoided her or Leonardo when saving Kennedy. You don't have your mom and Leonardo under your favorite contacts?" I watched her face fall to nothing but numbness.
"How the fuck do you know this?" Ryleigh stuttered under the tears now falling out of her eyes.
She knows I'm close
"I'm the fucking owner Ryleigh, I know everything. I know who you last called, which was your mother by the way. I know where you were on Tuesdays and Thursdays, that stupid restaurant your mom first took you too. I know everything, you can't hide anything from me." My chest was pumping up and down at an alarmingly fast paste. Yet, I feel relaxed.
"Shut the fuck up." Ryleigh sniffled before looking up at me. My face was nothing but a blank stare.
"Did I hit a nerve Ryleigh? Do you know what I could do to your mother? I have all the power Ryleigh. I could kidnap her, and break every bone in her body with nothing but pleasure." I leaned over the table, moving my blank face closer to her shaking body.
"What do you want from me!" She shouted, jumping to her feet and slamming her hands down again.
"A fucking confession! Say what you did!" I yell back, gritting my teeth now. I was so fucking close.
"Yes! I met with Leonardo and Eliza behind your back and told them our plans to help them kill off our organization!" As soon as the words left Ryleigh's mouth she slapped her hand over her mouth and collapsed to the seat.
I knew it
I looked back to see Natalie standing with her hand over her own mouth and tears falling from the corners of her eyes. She was mortified by Ryleigh, and she knew what was coming.
"Harry, I'm sorry. She's my mother and Leonardo's been planning something and he promised to protect Niall." Ryleigh began her plea, not even trying to stop her makeup from being ruined.
"Save it." I mumbled, turning around because I couldn't look at her right now. She disgust me.
She's a traitor
"Harry, please! I'm sorry. I stopped it last week when I realized it wasn't worth it, please! Just don't do it!" Ryleigh stood up and walked over to me, standing in front of me and grabbing my shoulders.
"The damage has already been done Ryleigh." I kept a stare at the wall to stop any tears.
I don't cry, not in front of my team
"Please Harry, I'll do anything. I'll move away forever, I'll give you everything. Just please, don't do it." Ryleigh grabbed my suit jacket, trying to get me to look down at her.
I didn't respond, but instead turned towards Natalie. She knew exactly what I had to do, because she signed the oath too. She knows what's coming and it's killing her.
"Harry look at me, please." Ryleigh grabbed my face and pulled it towards her, locking her deep sea on mine.
"Remember who I am to you. We were each other's first loves remember? We gave each other our innocents, little fourteen year old's. You held me in your arms and said I love you, remember?" Ryleigh collapsed her forehead onto my chest as she spoke the hurtful words to me.
The thing was, it was all true
"Ryleigh, stop." I whispered between us, biting my tongue to hold back the immense set of tears in my eyes.
"You loved me and you still love me. Not the same way but we're family. You won't kill your family will you? I love you Harry, I always have always will. Please don't kill your lover." Ryleigh was spitting out words, anything to get me to back off and not kill her.
"I said stop!" I shouted, making her pull off of me and collapsed to the ground, "Your not my lover anymore. You're a liar!" I stomped away to the far wall, pushing my back against it.
"Please Harry, I'm sorry." Ryleigh collapsed her head into her hands in defeat. She knew I wasn't going to give in.
"I'm not the one you should be apologizing too. It should be the workers who trusted you as their boss to keep them safe. But instead you helped the enemy kill them." I was bursting at the seams with fury.
"I'm sorry Harry, please. Please don't do it." Ryleigh begged some more, trying to spare her life.
I'm sorry Ryleigh
"I'm driving us back to the casino. Say your goodbyes and run. As soon as I find you, you're dead. Get to the car, we'll meet you there." I pointed to the door and glanced at Natalie.
"What about Niall!" Ryleigh strung out one last plea, stopping me in my tracks. Niall will understand.
"I said go." I pointed to the door again, keeping eye contact on Natalie. I heard a sigh then movement.
Ryleigh stood up and shuffled over to the door, slamming it shut and hopefully walking to the car. This left me and Natalie alone, and all you could hear was her silent weeping.
"Natalie." I frowned and walked over to her. I don't know but something about her makes me want to hug her and protect her.
Kind of like a big brother instinct
"You can't kill her Harry, she's our family." Natalie collapsed into my arms, digging her head into my chest.
Not many girls can do this so she's lucky
"I don't want to, Natalie. It's the last thing I want to do. But she broke the oath." I whispered between us.
"You guys signed it five years ago, can't you make any exceptions?" Natalie mumbled into my chest.
"It's been here for generations, Natalie. If I could I would. But come on, this is unforgivable." I wrapped one arm awkwardly around her. I've never been good at comforting so I hope this is helping.
Brother instinct again, I don't know why
"I know, I just- She's like a sister to me now. Just like Kennedy. I know it's the rules but it just hurts." Natalie sniffled before looking up at me. I was trying so fucking hard to hold back my own emotions.
"She's like a sister to all of us. But I'm sorry Natalie, I have to." I let go of Natalie and stepped away.
Natalie fixed herself and nodded. She knew this is what has to be done. She signed the oath, drew the blood, and made the agreement. She knows that traitors get killed. By me or one of the guys, or Ryleigh.
Natalie opened the door and let me out first, locking it behind us as we reached the dim hallway. We walked it like before, turning and opening the door. Surprisingly, my car was still there.
Sitting in the backseat was Ryleigh trying to stop her tears. We walked towards the car, Natalie walking around to get into the backseat with Ryleigh. I know it's goodbye time so I didn't oblige.
I got into the driver's seat and immediately started the car. I wanted this to be over and done with because this is torture for me. I don't want to kill Ryleigh but I have to.
The whole drive back consisted of me raising the radio volume as Natalie and Ryleigh said their goodbyes to each other. I didn't want to hear it, I couldn't deal with so much emotion right now.
As soon as I parked, they both climbed out, leaving me alone. Immediately I pulled out of the parking lot and drove down a very familiar side road. It was long and had a few turns.
Eventually, the route led me to an abandoned church. The church was old and wooden. The white paint on the outside was chipping away as the big cross hung sideways over the top of the door.
I parked my car in one of the few parking spots, locking it and walking towards the church. Inside of it were a few rows of benches, covered in branches from how neglected this place is.
There was a stand at the front and a marble table behind it, then a mural of Jesus behind that. It was a stained glass window to which you could see from the outside.
I walked through the pugh's until I hit the front. I sat down in the seat and instantly tears fell from my eyes. I couldn't stop them, it was like my bubble had finally been popped.
The tears dripped down my face, making me sniffle from the new congestion in my sinuses. All the pent emotion from today just released from my eyes. It fucking sucks.
I went to church with my dad and mum every single goddamn Sunday when I was younger. We'd go to the free brunch outside while my dad talked to some guys about his fake lawyer job and my mum played housewife. I never really hung out with kids, except for Louis who always came as well.
I still go to church every Sunday. I sit with these two very nice old ladies who have no idea what I do for a living. They think I'm some young bachelor and they pay me compliments to fill my ego.
I found this place when I first started to take charge of Alea. It's my place to cry, show emotions to god. I know, a cold blooded killer goes to church? Sounds kind of funny.
It's all my dad though surprisingly. He came to confession nearly every other weekend to cleanse his sins. Well, leaving out the whole killing part but he came to clear his conscience.
I don't do that because I already know I'm going to hell. But I come here to talk to my parents, then go to the cemetery to see them. Mostly just my mum but my dad too when I need Alea guidance.
No one knows I still go to church, except Louis. He just assumed since we used to always go as kids, which I didn't mind. He knows not to ask and to keep his distance about it, which I appreciate.
"Mum, dad. If you're listening, please just make this better?" I spoke out to myself, feeling desperate.
As I sat in the pugh, my stomach was turning as more and more water poured from the corners of my eyes. I couldn't keep it in anymore and I always keep it in.
"Is this my punishment? Huh? Having to kill my ex girlfriend for being a fucking traitor after not listening to the dice?" I shouted at the empty church, wanting any sign that I was correct.
I wasn't going to get anything, I never do. I mean, I do get the occasional butterfly. I think the butterfly means my mum is around because at her funeral, there was a butterfly migration overhead and a few landed on her casket.
That's why I got my butterfly tattoo. It represents my mum. I keep her close to my abdomen because that's where she would always hug. I wish she were here to hug me right now, tell me it's going to be okay.
It's never okay though
After a few more minutes of draining my eye sockets, I stood up and stormed out of the ancient chapel. It was way darker outside and the air was cooler than before.
How long was I in there?
I stumbled blindly to my car, sniffling and wiping under my eyes. I have to face the fact that I am about to go kill Ryleigh fucking Horan. Beautiful Ryleigh Horan who showed me what real love was from the young age of fourteen.
I sat in the driver's seat, looking out to the church again. It was mocking me, knowing what I was about to do. I could feel it.
"Fuck off." I mumbled at the church, knowing damn well I'm talking to myself. I feel so beyond stupid.
I pulled out of the narrow parking spot and back onto the side roads. I took the same route from before, heading back onto the main freeway. Ryleigh's apartment was a few blocks from the casino so I was checking there first.
I really hope she ran. Ran as far away from me as she possibly could so I don't have to kill her. I don't want to kill her, but I have to. I trained her, she's my responsibility.
The drive was way shorter then I remembered, causing me to pull up in less than five minutes. It was a small building that had about three floors. She owned the penthouse on the top floor.
I parked my car beside hers, looking over to see it completely empty. Her dice chain was gone from her mirror and her air freshener was missing. Everything was gone.
Good start
I stared blankly at the bare brick wall in front of me, feeling paralyzed from the neck down. I couldn't move knowing what I'm about to do. Just the feeling alone was killing me.
I took a slow deep breath, inhaling and exhaling before closing my eyes and looking down to my lap.
"Please forgive me mom. I know you liked her." I chuckle to myself, trying to make light of this situation.
It was no use though because I was going to kill Ryleigh, no matter what
-
a/n: OKAY SO I AM SO SORRY! There are many reasons to why I chose to go this way with the plot so please don't hate me too much!
Ryleigh does make a few more comebacks trust me, she's not completely gone! So please don't be mad I know it's early but there is so much more to come. I love you all and please forgive me!
But as a warning, just brace yourselves for the next chapter because it is very sad. thank you for sticking around till chapter 30, I love ya for it. xX
^Us all at me right now^