Chapter thirty-seven
"Come on, Tae," the plea in Jungkook's tone was more than noticeable. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, literally begging the omega to eat something, anything! "You can't keep going like this."
Taehyung gave a noncommittal shrug, eyes haunted and distant and all Jungkook wanted was to make this look fade off his face. It was unnerving, seeing the omega's expression so dull. He wondered what could have brought Taehyung's bright-eyed, inquisitive, babbling personality to this shell version of himself.
It had been two weeks since the attack of the Blood Stream pack. Two of the most grueling weeks in Jungkook's entire life. Ever since Taehyung woke up, he refused to eat or speak. The only person he was willing to allow in his vicinity was Jungkook.
The healers of their pack explained that the reason behind this was due to all the shock his inner wolf had to go through after being forcefully marked. The first time Taehyung's consciousness came back, he was disoriented and scared, squinting away as far as possible from everyone who dared to near him, would it be a friend or healer.
Thankfully, the case wasn't the same for Jungkook. In fact, the alpha seemed to be the only exception in the universe. During the nights where Taehyung would wake up screaming and crying after another terrifying nightmare, Jungkook would be the person capable of calming him down and soothing his cries.
And even though it had been two weeks, they hadn't made any progress so far.
Taehyung was slouched against one of the pillows, staring dully at the breakfast tray. His eyes still looked worryingly blank, and he made no move to take any of the food.
Jungkook ignored the little stab in his chest. "You need to eat, pup." He said, injecting a note of gentle warning in his voice as he held a biscuit right up to Taehyung's lips.
The omega stared uncomprehendingly at the biscuit for a few seconds and then, to Jungkook's relief, opened his mouth. He carefully fed Taehyung the cracker and the omega chewed mechanically, glowering down at the plate. The alpha was just about to grab another one when he heard Taehyung say something, his voice muffled by the food still in his mouth.
"Hmm?" Jungkook glanced up, his eyes fixed on Taehyung. "What did you say, pup?"
The omega munched on thoroughly his mouthful of food and tried again. "I feel like I have cheated on you," he confessed, struggling to swallow down a still-beating heart.
Jungkook started to feel that tightness in his chest again and he put the plate back on the tray, taking Taehyung's hands in his. "What do you mean?"
"I gave this–"The omega's breath got stuck in his throat, mind racing up with panic as he reminisced the sight of Chinhae's twisted grin and burgundy color of his eyes. "I let this bastard mark me..." A sob ripped off his mouth, eyes beginning to brim with unshed, bright tears. He pulled his hands away from Jungkook's, as if his touch burned the skin there, and brought them up to cup the healing mate mark on his neck. "When it should have been you," Taehyung gasped out, an eternal state of drowsiness overtook him, and he wondered if he should just close his eyes and never wake up again.
The omega was devastated. Jungkook could see it in the absolute defeat that shined from the azure color of his irises: they were pits of despair - encased by deep, dark circles. His skin was dry and pasty-pale, lacking the glow it had last time he saw it. This time the angular jawline and cheekbones didn't look softened by the eyes, they looked harsh and gaunt and almost skeletal.
The alpha grabbed Taehyung and lifted him onto his lap, cradling him in his arms and the omega clutched at his shirt and sobbed, and it was all Jungkook could do not to start screaming himself. It seemed that the omega was partially conscious, though terribly confused and appearing to be in a dazed-like condition. He tried to say something, but it came out slurred and incomprehensible.
"Shh, it's okay, love." Jungkook whispered against his furrow of blonde hair, holding him tightly without any signs of letting go, as if both their lives depended on one another. He couldn't understand how someone so magnificent, someone with a spark of energy incomparable with anyone else, could become lifeless so quickly. So mercilessly.
Taehyung saw his own hurt reflected in Jungkook's eyes, and the empathy made him feel undeserving of the attention. Carefully, he placed his own hand over the alpha's and screwed his eyes shut. His mind was muddled, and for a brief moment, he allowed himself to surrender to that carefree feeling he had around Jungkook, of being finally free from the dull ache that perpetually occupied his heart.
He thought of all the moments they had shared, filled with mutual understanding and common passions, and how effortless it all felt. And that feeling of being surrounded by Jungkook's smile, like a ray of sunshine breaking through the clouds. It was all very close, within reach, tempting him and pushing his will to the brink.
A few moments later Taehyung's harsh sobs and cries finally subsided to little whimpering noises. With Jungkook's help, he got under the warm blankets and within seconds he was fast asleep. The alpha traced his knuckles over his rosy cheek in a loving manner, caressing the soft skin there as he struggled to hold back his own emotions.
Come on, my love, he thought as he cradled his fingers through Taehyung's hair, gazing at the soft features on his face, come back to me.
A quiet knock on the door indicated that there was someone outside of the bedroom. Jungkook called out for them to enter, a beta came in and discreetly tapped the alpha on the shoulder, whispering something in his ear. He was rewarded with a look of intense irritation.
With great effort, Jungkook calmed himself before sparing Taehyung one last glance and standing up to leave the room along with the beta.
"Where is he?" He asked once the door was closed, and they were left alone in the long corridor. A frown rested upon his face, brow raised, confusion evident, as he stared the boy up and down.
The beta cleared his throat, acting a little too jumpy for Jungkook's liking. "His room, alpha." He explained, keeping his head downcast.
Another thing Jungkook really started to dislike was how cautious people acted around him. Yes, he did inherit Chinhae's powers and become a true blood, but that didn't necessarily mean he expected everyone to bow at him. It was infuriating, to say the least. The sharp claws of guilt for taking another creature's life were slowly creeping in his heart, suffocating him, making his head spin with regret. If he could change the past, he would gladly find a better solution to deal with the circumstances.
Truth was, Jungkook didn't want to be a true blood. He hated it, loathed the possibility of turning into the ruthless monster Chinhae was. Not only that, but he couldn't control his own inner wolf. At times it was so hard to tame up this beast that now lived within him.
And the most concerning part was the dreams. Dreams of the bygone past. Not Jungkook's past, but Chinhae's. He would wake up in the middle of the night drenched in cold sweat and panting heavily from the aftermath of his nightmare. Memories that weren't even his would corrupt his mind and keep him restless for days. By killing Chinhae and becoming the next true blood alpha, he didn't only proclaim the title of the strongest wolf to ever exist, but took his memories, too.
It was frightening. Having to deal with the memories of other people. Sometimes, Jungkook thought he could get swallowed up by them and completely lose himself to the sickening voice of the previous host. And that was why he was so terrified of his new rank. Jungkook was afraid of waking up without having control over his own body and actions. Was it the same for Chinhae when he first killed Soojin? Did he see through his memories, too?
If only Taehyung wasn't in this state now...he could find a way out of this. After all he was the one with the biggest knowledge of true blood alphas and their arcane nature. The omega could guide him, tell him what to do and simply be there for him.
With a timid shake of his head, he pushed all those thoughts in the back of his mind where, hopefully, they wouldn't bother him for the next few hours or so. Jungkook strid down the long corridor until he reached one of the doors at the far end of the floor. Knocking on the door two times to announce his arrival, an audible 'come in' was heard from the other side and he took it as a sign to enter.
Jungkook's expression darkened upon seeing his father standing by the window as the rain streamed down. Outside, the white bungalows and roads of the pack were deserted, the wet October weather leaving an eerie, glistening sheen on the grand, weather-boarded homes with their drenched gardens, ghostly visions of green and white beneath a brooding, gray sky.
"You wanted to see me," Jungkook broke the silence, the tone of his voice mimicking the somber atmosphere.
Fortunately, his father's life had been spared during the attack. Although, he was seriously wounded and on the verge of dying. Since then, the old man hadn't attended to any of the pack meetings, leaving all of his responsibilities to his only son – Jungkook. Despite the many problems he had on his head, the young alpha took his father's place without complaining.
Jungsunk hummed, slowly turning around to face Jungkook. The last vestiges of his good looks were gone, along with the determined fire that blazed his eyes. All the urges that had once driven and defined him – his naked lust for power, his legendary avarice – had crumbled to dust, like the walls of the Parthenon.
"It's been a while since the last time we had a good talk together, hasn't it?" Jungsunk's weak attempt of pulling out a smile was fruitless. The bags under his eyes wrinkled and deep lines grooved his forehead.
Jungkook eyed him warily. He wanted to scoff, a frown etching on his features, "What makes you think I want to talk with you?" He scowled, and it came out brashly, like he just spat the words out, filled with redundant venom, while his heart was beating out of proportion something akin to frustration welling within him as he anticipated the worst.
Jungsunk's eyes bared, his head folding back into his neck, his chin bouncing a little with the motion. "You can leave, if that's what you wish." His voice was insanely soft, but it hit Jungkook's ears like dozen tiny blades, and it made the desire to leave the room even more prominent.
His son had changed a lot since the last time he let himself take in a good look of him. Physically: his hair was longer, his facial features were sharper, and he appeared to be fitter. But it was the personality changes that struck Jungsunk the most. Almost all the rough edges were gone, all the naïve, uninhibited behavior. Standing opposite him now was a mature, rational, poised young man.
Confident and calm, the kind of person who could handle a lot more than he might have imagined. Jungsunk wanted to tell Jungkook all this, but the words stubbornly refused to arrange themselves into the compliment he intended.
"Just..." The young alpha sighed, rubbing his hands across his eyes, as if it would somehow wipe away his irritation. "Say what you have for saying." No, the ire was still there, embedded within the very bindings of his skin, the aura of him currently nothing but a promised evoking of pique.
His father licked his lips, and Jungkook picked up the stiffness in his neck and jaw. "How is the omega?" He asked after a short pause, appearing to be choosing his words carefully.
Something painfully twisted within Jungkook and he clenched his teeth tightly, the knuckles of his hands flexing as he tried to push away the images of Taehyung's scared doe eyes and broken spirit. His father didn't even try calling him by his name. "I don't think this is something that should concern you," his voice was biting, positively smarting, and Jungkook didn't believe he was capable of such vicious timbre. He felt the downpour in his heart, and he wanted to bash his own brains out, let them splatter all across the wall.
Jungsunk gazed at him still and silent and Jungkook searched for accusation in those familiar, forgotten eyes, waited for him to comment on the type of influence Taehyung was being to his 'precious son'. He waited for nothing. "I just want to help."
"How can you help me?" Jungkook's laugh was bitter and humorless, perfectly showing the sarcasm that laced his tone. "Give me a pep talk on how to be a better pack leader? Pat me on the shoulder and say how great I'm doing at failing as a son?" There was nothing recognizable about himself in this moment, and that only made the storm of indignation swarming within so much more painful.
"Jungkook, I – "
"My whole life, I sought the approval I was denied by the man I thought was my father!" Jungkook was so lost in a sea of mind-numbing aggravation that he didn't notice how quickly the control over his inner wolf was slipping out of his grasp. Right before he could continue with his tantrum, he closed his mouth shut, like a dying fish on a line. Jungkook rubbed horrifically at his eyes, to the point it looked like he was trying to scrub his eyeballs out, the color of his irises flicking between rubicund and chestnut brown. "Do me a favor and stop pretending that you care." He stormed out of the room with the vehemence obliterated from his voice.
For the first time in two weeks, Jungkook felt happy about himself.
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