Juliette ran away from the engineering's office and wiped away that tear off her cheek. Stay strong, keep it together. She almost lost her balance when she stepped outside, but it didn't give her a kick.
"Is the debrief finished yet?"
"I...I don't know," she whispered, more to herself than the colleague who asked the question.
Without waiting for a response, Juliette walked away. It was silence in the paddock, something that was very rare. She parted her lips and looked around her; the news hit everyone. Goosebumps spread over her body again. A dark curse was resting on the paddock. She looked around again; she was lost. Her heartbeat started to rise in her chest, and her breath had a quick pace.
Her legs started to move. Everything was in a haze; nothing entered Juliette's head anymore. She walked down the paddock, passing many people, including drivers from F2, who just heard the news. Her jaw clenched, Juliette tried everything to not break into tears. She grabbed her other hand and squeezed hard in it. Someone yelled her name, but she didn't react to it.
Juliette walked on the stairs, pressed on a button and the glass door shoved open. It was busy, this facility was filled with people.
"Miss, you don't have access to this facility," a friendly female voice said when an employee of Mercedes entered the Toro Rosso facility.
"Je dois le voir," Juliette said and cleared her throat. "I have to see Pierre," she repeated in English and looked at the woman.
The woman could read the sadness off Juliette's face. "He's in the debrief, I'm sorry."
"For how long?"
"I'm not sure. Perhaps fifteen minutes, maybe longer."
Juliette nodded and took a deep breath. "I will wait outside. I'm sorry for the inconvenience." Her eyes became glazed with a glassy layer of tears. She looked up and blinked a couple times. "Thanks," she muttered.
"You can wait here," the woman said and gave Juliette a comforting smile.
"Thank you," Juliette said and walked over to a sofa, which looked like a waiting area.
She sat down for at least one minute before she got up again. There was no patience to sit still on a sofa. Her head began to hurt, her muscles were working hard to prevent her from crying. Juliette was walking back and forth in front of the sofa, catching herself snapping her knuckles again.
How could this happen? How did it go so tremendously wrong someone died? Why Anthoine? And how is Correa doing? Is he alright, or is he going to die as well? Was there-
"Juliette."
Her eyes shot up. It was Pierre's brother, Philippe. She pressed her jaws on each other and held in her breath.
"I'm so sorry," he softly said and walked over to Juliette. He wrapped his arms around her and comforted her. "I'm sorry."
"I don't want it to be true," Juliette whispered, broken.
"Me neither," he whispered and rubbed her back.
Her eyes closed. "Does Pierre know it?"
"No, not yet," Philippe replied. "Come. You shouldn't be alone," he said and pulled back. "I'm so sorry, Jules."
She was shaking her head and looked down. Juliette followed Philippe to the back of the facility. It was always a surprise to see how huge those facilities actually were. Unfortunately, Juliette got stopped by someone else in the Toro Rosso team. Philippe managed to talk out of this situation and brought Juliette over to an area with Pierre's family.
It was utter silence in the room; no words or looks were exchanged. Maybe it was for the best, to prevent fallouts or breakdowns. Juliette sat down on a chair and stared in front of her, at a coffee table. As she blinked, a tear dripped from her eyelid and slid down her face. She bit her lip tightly in an attempt to hide any sounds that wanted to escape from her mouth or more tears.
After a while, people started to walk on the stairs. Juliette's eyes shot to the stairs, hoping it was Pierre. She held in her breath and let her heart rate rise. The people who were walking down the stairs and entered the ground floor knew what was going on as soon as they saw someone from Mercedes sitting in their facility. The looks on the different faces said enough
Pierre sprinted down the stairs; he needed an update on Anthoine. Deep down, he knew it was bad, very bad, but he had hoped it wasn't as bad as he thought...felt. His eyes scanned all the faces of his family; it was bad. And Juliette... This said enough. When their eyes met, something changed in them. Both their faces softened emotionally.
"Non," Pierre whispered and shook his head. "Non." Tears formed in his eyes. "Non..."
Juliette got up, ready to walk over to Pierre, but he was quicker. Pierre ran over to Juliette and wrapped his arms around her.
"Je suis tellement désolé," she whispered. Tears welled up in her eyes again, this time ready to leave her eyes. The lump in her throat developed into a knot. Her lungs screamed for oxygen. She gasped for air. The tears involuntarily slid down Juliette's cheek, and ugly sobs filled the room. She couldn't control her body anymore. All she could do was hold Pierre.
Pierre's breath was shaky, and he tightly held Juliette in his arms. "Ce n'est pas possible," he whispered unconvinced. The floodgate opened. Tears slid down his face, and he gasped for air.
He lost his best friend.
They were standing there for quite some time; crying in each other's arms. Juliette could feel how much Pierre's body was shaking. It broke her heart even more. She pulled back and looked at him. The vision she had, began to swim in front of her. She blinked a few times to clear her view.
"Drive safe, okay?" Juliette's voice was small. "I can't lose you as well."
Those words broke Pierre again. He nodded and closed his eyes while pulling her closer. "I will try my best," he breathed and pressed a kiss on her hair. "I will try."
"I don't want to lose you..."
"You will not lose me, Jules," he replied and pulled back again. He cupped her face in his hands. "I promise," he said and locked his eyes with hers.
"I'm so sorry," Juliette mouthed and leaned against Pierre's shoulder with her forehead. "I don't..." Tears kept flowing, it didn't stop. "I..."
Pierre stroked her back and sniffed. "You don't have to say anything, Jules," he said and dried his own cheeks. "Fuck." He wrapped his arms tightly against her shoulders and closed his eyes. "Do you know how it happened?"
"No," she mumbled. "I saw it happening on TV, heard it was him, and I have no idea what I did after that."
"How could this happen?" It was silent. "Mon Dieu..."
Juliette let go of Pierre and stepped away from him. She dried her face and looked outside. There was a view on the paddock street. She bit her lip and blinked a few times. There were so many questions going through her mind, questions she didn't have an answer to.
"Has anyone news about Correa? How is he doing?" Juliette asked, her voice was hoarse. She turned around, only to see everybody breaking down.
"They have brought him over to the hospital," Jenny, Pierre's press officer, informed Juliette.
"Okay," Juliette nodded and sniffed. "Jesus Christ," she sneered and shook her head. "I'm sorry," she apologised for her choice of words. "I'm sorry..." she whispered regretfully.
☐
It was late in the evening, and who was still working? Juliette. After she stormed away, the debrief was pushed to the evening to finish the last part. It was better for everyone, the team was pretty upset after hearing the sad news, so was the rest of the grid.
Even though it didn't matter to the team if Juliette wouldn't be there, but she still sat around the table to work with her team. She wanted to finish this weekend; if other people could do it, she could do it as well. And it may sound weird, but working was the kind of distraction she needed, despite the fact one of her best friends passed away in this work environment.
"...the software looked good and worked well together with all the departments. There is room to improve the brake balance in specific corners, but overall it looks good," Juliette said and looked through the papers. "And that was the final topic," she summarised.
"Thank you, RJ," a colleague said and gave her a grateful nod. Juliette pressed a fake smile on her face and collected all of her papers. "As far as I'm concerned, we are done for today. Has someone something to add or something to say?"
It was silence in the meeting area. The team moved from the facility to a hotel meeting space.
"Well done, everyone. It will be a tough day tomorrow, but we will push ourselves through it," Toto said when people started to pack their stuff.
"Is this meeting finished?" Juliette asked and looked only at Toto for confirmation. "Do you need me for anything?"
Toto was shaking his head. "No, we are all done for today. You can rest. Tomorrow is a new day."
Pressure immediately fell off her shoulders, and she let all the air escape from her lungs. Juliette had no control over her body anymore. As soon her work mode switched off, the emotions took over. Her eyes fell on her hand, with his signature. He didn't know this was it. "Fucking hell," she breathed and shook her head. It came out of nowhere, there was no warning, but the floodgate opened again, and Juliette burst in tears. She placed her face in his hands, trying to hide her emotions.
It was dead silence in the room, and everyone looked down. Today really hit Juliette, and not everybody knew the reason why.
Delilah got up and took her chair with her. She sat down next to Juliette and took her in her arms. "Hey," she whispered and pulled Juliette closer. "It's okay to cry." Tears formed in Delilah's eyes.
"Why did this happen?" Juliette's words got mixed with the sobs what left her mouth. "Why him? Why not me?"
"Don't say that, Juliette," Delilah immediately replied. "Don't you dare to say that." Her voice cracked.
"Anthoine doesn't deserve this," Juliette continued. "Why did this happen?"
Delilah stroked Juliette's arm and looked up; she didn't know what to do.
"I can't imagine how Pierre, Julie, Sara and Charles must feel." Juliette gasped for air. "They lost their best friend and boyfriend. And they..." She blinked a few times, to release the tears so she could see without a blur, but it didn't help much. "I..." She took a deep breath. "I made so many promises, and I made none of them true. I don't deserve to cry. I'm so worthless."
"Don't say that," Delilah softly said and rocked slowly back and forth. "Don't say that, Jules," she whispered. "I'm so sorry."
Toto saw how Juliette was losing her shit. It made him even wonder how she could sit around his table and just do her job. "Can someone get Edward Reynolds?" He grabbed his phone. "Floris, you're taking Juliette's job over for tomorrow," he made the call.
Juliette sat up, pushing herself away from Delilah. "No," she said and shook her head. "I'm working tomorrow."
"No, Juliette, not tomorrow. You just lost one of your best mates, and I don't want you to work at the track where it happened," Toto said and looked commiserative at her. "I'm taking you off this race."
"No..." She dried her cheeks and cleared her throat. "I can work tomorrow."
He looked down. "I don't want you to walk out of the garage in the middle of the race because you can't take it anymore."
"I won't," she promised. "Just give me a moment, and I will pull myself together."
There was silence in the room.
"We will look tomorrow. I need the full 100 per cent from you. There is no room for mistakes," Toto stated. He already made his decision; he knew it was better for Juliette to stay out of the garage - or she had to stay away from her computer and the car.
Edward entered the meeting space, and his eyes fell on Juliette, who was slowly breaking apart. His face softened. "Sweetheart," he softly said and walked over to his daughter. "I'm so sorry," he said and opened his arms.
Juliette got up and walked over to her dad, who took her safely in his arms. "I don't want it to be true, dad." She broke into tears again, she was so tired of crying that it started to hurt. "I just keep hoping Anthoine will walk into this room with the biggest grin on his face and be like: incroyable, you're just so easy to mess with, Lulu."