Bucky ends up being right because when Steve tells [Y/N] the whole reason for their trip shortly afterwards, she is far less pleased than she should be. There are many good reasons to be positive about moving again. But [Y/N] likes the place she's been at for the past few weeks. A small forest hut, far away from New York, Berlin or Bucharest. And even if she had lived there alone, Sam, Steve and Natasha were also nearby and she has had the feeling that they had to hide less than at any other place. And now, another move to Oakland, California is imminent. [Y/N] is just angry not to have heard about it before, otherwise she would have enjoyed the rustling of the wind through the trees once more, breathed the fresh forest air and listened to its silence. She would have gone to the creek only 10 minutes away from her hut one more time and watched the water glisten in the sunlight. Instead, she is sitting in her new room only a few hours later.
It really isn't ugly. Her room is on one of the upper floors of the relief center that T'Challa has built, giving her a good view at the city. A wall separated the sleeping and living areas. Gray and black stripes adorn the wall, in front of them stands dark furniture. [Y/N] sits on the gray couch with her head in her hands and looks out the window without focusing on anything in particular. (A/N: It is the room the picture shows but without the Avengers Logo on the window ofc)
Even Bucky hadn't been able to lift her mood during the trip there. She just hates it when people keep secrets from her and is still angry that Steve only came out with the truth shortly before leaving. She is so angry that she had simply left him standing in Wakanda and has not spoken to him since. The fact that everyone is staying in the same accommodation is not enough to lift her spirits. She can't believe that Steve still has secrets from her. She had given up a life of freedom to stand up for what she thinks is right. And yet, after living for the Avengers for almost a year, Steve seems to still be unable to talk openly about things. This thought hurts [Y/N] because she really thought that they trust each other. He is something like her best friend but this does not seem to be reciprocal.
A knock on her room door interrupts [Y/N]'s negative thoughts. But before she can say a nasty rebuff for Steve out loud, the door opens and Bucky enters the room. "Still mad at Steve?" he asks carefully.
[Y/N] can't help thinking about the flight the moment she hears Bucky's voice. She had kept her distance from Steve, not being in the mood to talk to anyone. Yet, Bucky had left his seat next to his best friend to join her for a while and even though she blocked off every attempt of his to start a conversation, she had known that Bucky only wanted to help. Instead of just leaving her, Bucky stayed with her for some time, sitting there in silence but making her feel less lonely.
"Take a guess" [Y/N] replies with a sigh, but gesticulates to Bucky that his visit is okay.
To his own surprise, Bucky sits down on the couch next to [Y/N], who is already looking out the window again. He follows her gaze but can't see anything that might be particularly interesting. "Big change, eh?" he asks, hoping to somehow get her to talk. He has never seen [Y/N] that quietly and it depresses him.
"You tell me" mumbles [Y/N] in response but then sighs again. She doesn't want to push Bucky away but her mood is just so off at the moment. "I guess I just have to sleep on it for a night. Let everything sink in first."
"Understandable" replies Bucky and averts his gaze from the window and looks at [Y/N] sitting next to him. Her [y/hc] hair hangs loosely over her shoulders, almost as if trying to hide the sadness on her face.
The room is filled with silence once again so that both of them just sit next to each other. "At some point you will have to talk to each other. You know he won't leave you alone."
"I know. Please be so kind and at least keep him away from me for today."
This time, Bucky can't suppress a slight smile. When it comes to stubbornness, Steve and [Y/N] are more alike than they probably realize. "I'll try my best."
[Y/N] doesn't know why but she too has to smile a little when she sees Bucky's reaction. It's almost as if his mood is contagious and [Y/N] feels that she is relaxing a little. Again, many questions go through her head that she would like to ask Bucky, but every word seems to cost her strength, so that she hardly likes to talk. And it takes a lot to silence [Y/N]. But Steve Rogers had done it.
"Maybe you should take a rest now. Sleep a little. Who knows what the world will look like afterwards, what do you think?" suggests Bucky after a while.
"You will probably still be the hunted Winter Soldier, Steve, Sam and Natasha will be criminals and I will be the unknown persecuted" [Y/N] replies sarcastically and is happy that her voice sounded as jokingly as she meant it. Actually, she already regrets her words because in her eyes, Bucky is way more than the Winter Soldier.
Bucky snorts in amusement, not caring about her words because he knows that she is right. "Not every problem can be solved overnight."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Still, [Y/N] listens to Bucky. Probably the first time since they know each other. After he leaves the room, [Y/N] goes into the bedroom, closes the blinds and goes to bed. In fact, she feels exhausted enough that she falls asleep within minutes.
Only a dull knock on her door a few hours later wakes her up. It's dark outside but it's only evening. A few moments later, Bucky is standing in the doorway, eyeing her from top to bottom. Her hair is disheveled from her restless sleep and her eyes are still slightly sleepy. As before, she wears black jeans and a wine-red hoodie. But the light from the living area bathes her delicate skin in a soft light that emphasizes her cheeks and nose. Bucky can't help but take a closer look. He hasn't seen a woman like this for a long time. He used to be a womanizer; a saying or a smile from him was enough to get him a date. He hasn't slept but spent a night with a woman way before he went to war and saw her in her true beauty: the make-up was already slightly worn, the hair disheveled and the glow of perfect styling dissolved. But that is exactly what made a woman so charming in his eyes: her naturalness when no one was looking. Not that Bucky has paid any attention to it in recent years. But a lot has changed since then.
[Y/N] also seems to be less concerned with styling and fashion. Nowadays it is normal for women to wear trousers, put on less make-up and pursue different career paths than in his days. Back in the 1940s, Margaret Elizabeth Carter was a rarity that broke all role clichés. Nowadays it seems normal for women to work as soldiers and fighters.
But at that moment, when [Y/N] sits in an upright position, slightly overslept, he has the same feeling as he did back in old days. The feeling of satisfaction and well-being. Therefore, he does not even notice that a slight smile appears on his lips while he continues to examine [Y/N] very carefully.
"James? Are you done staring at me then?" yawns [Y/N] and interrupts his thoughts.
"Bucky. My friends call me Bucky" he says, shaking his head to clear his thoughts, wondering what he was just thinking about. "You should have dinner" he mumbles when he remembers the reason for his visit.
"I'm not really hungry."
"I already thought so" Bucky replies, turning to take something from the tray that Steve had prepared for [Y/N]. He knew she wasn't going to talk to him yet and Bucky had offered to bring the food over to her. In the next second, an apple flies in her direction, which she skillfully catches with one hand. "Impressive" grins Bucky. "I won't leave until that apple is gone in your stomach."
[Y/N] sighs, but then bites straight into it. She knows there would be no point in arguing with Bucky, who looks at her with satisfaction. "You know, I never had the opportunity to thank you for your help" he says.
"There have been opportunities. You just never used them" counters [Y/N]. Her eyes sparkle challenging at Bucky and he inevitably grins. He loves that kind of thing about her and is glad that her mood is a little better.
"Right" he mumbles, slightly embarrassed and wonders if he should thank her now. But she would never expect him to thank her. Often enough, she has convinced herself that Bucky would have done the same for her, even though this theory is very questionable. He is still standing in the doorway and his thoughts are racing as he ponders how he can actually thank her. [Y/N] can probably already see small clouds of smoke coming out of his head because she grins even wider.
"Nothing to thank me for. The most important thing is that you are fine... well, and that this Zemo-guy is in jail." Bucky flinches briefly at the memory of Zemo. A lot has happened that day and he still wonders how Steve can still stand by him despite everything. But that's what Steve is like: he doesn't judge Bucky for his actions because he knows he had no choice. Everything Bucky had done was against what he had always stood for. These thoughts alone make Bucky restless again and his body inevitably stiffens.
"Why did you stay?" He concentrates on his counterpart again to distract himself from his own thoughts.
"Running away didn't feel right at some point, I guess" admits [Y/N]. "I used my strength to help... for the first time, actually. After Natasha offered me to leave or stay... I had the feeling that the former was not even an option." Bucky only answers that question with a grin. "What?" asks [Y/N] but grins as well.
"That was a classic Avengers answer. Steve would surely be proud of you."
[Y/N] laughs and throws a pillow at Bucky.
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Night falls in the new headquarter of the rest of the Avengers. [Y/N] stands in the large hallway on her floor and realizes how stupid her defiant reaction had been on arrival. She asked directly for her room and just knows where the bathroom is. She couldn't even find the way to the kitchen without difficulty. It had been stupid to leave the room anyway. She is now even more aware of this when she takes a few steps backwards and lets her gaze wander. This building is huge. And she doesn't want to accidentally stumble into a medical center patients room. Suddenly, the door behind her opens and Bucky looks at her with sleepy eyes. "I know that you can tame earth but are your feet made of concrete?" He yawns, but then recognizes the dejected and surprised expression on her face. He is wide awake immediately, worrying about his friend. "Are you alright?"
[Y/N] still looks very surprised and realizes that Bucky's room must be very close to her own. "I can't sleep" she admits, embarrassed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."
Bucky can't help but feel sorry for her. The argument with Steve seems to bother her more than she'd like to admit. But then he remembers something that might lift [Y/N]'s mood. "Tea?" he grins at her and [Y/N] has to giggle. She would like to say yes but the thought of sitting in someone else's kitchen is a burden for her. And suddenly, she feels torn. She wants to be around Bucky but she is not after a warm drink at the moment. Bucky can't read minds but he still sees that [Y/N] is fighting with herself and already suspects that she just doesn't want to be alone. He takes her hand and carefully pulls her into his room. "Come on, I'll keep you company."
"Thank you" mumbles [Y/N] embarrassed and follows Bucky to his bed. His room looks very different from hers. It's smaller, without a room divider. There is only one large bed, a TV and some shelves. The bed looks like he hasn't touched it, it doesn't have a crease. Only then does [Y/N] notice that Bucky picks up the pillow and blanket from the floor and puts them back in bed.
"The camp beds... back in World War two" he tries to explain, feeling slightly uncomfortable and awkward now. "The bed. It's like lying..."
"On a marshmallow? Steve mentioned that once. So you still have trouble sleeping?"
"Not more, maybe a little less."
"Nightmares?"
"Now and then."
"That's good" replies [Y/N] and smiles gently at Bucky, who is now sitting in bed next to her, taking care to keep his distance. "Forgive me if I'm too curious... But what happened in Wakanda? I mean... Steve told me a few things but who knows what to believe."
"You know Steve is not a liar. But if I were him, I would have told you the real reason for the visit earlier. I understand your anger."
"I don't think you understand" sighs [Y/N]. Bucky just cannot understand what it is like to spend months with a man you consider your best friend and then find out that he has secrets from you whilst you have always been honest. "I'm sorry. I know he's not a liar. And I'll talk to him tomorrow, I promise."
"You don't have to promise me anything." There is a short silence between the two of them. "I've been..." Bucky sighs. What he is about to say sounds completely stupid in his head. "I let myself be put on hold for the time being. I wasn't thawed again until my... I would call it therapy... started. My programming got erased." He sighs again. "I'm sorry. That sounds totally stupid. But it's the truth."
[Y/N] has to grin slightly. "No more stupid than genetic engineering on humans to make them into living fighting machines." Her gaze becomes more serious but also softer, when she looks at Bucky and they lock eyes. "That means no more Winter Soldier?"
"Just his demons in my head." Bucky's eyes inevitably widen when he can't believe what he has just said. He himself is shocked at how quickly this honest answer left his lips. It's like he has no choice than being honest and open around her.
"Can I see?" [Y/N] asks cautiously and points to Bucky's new arm. Bucky nods and switches on the night light next to his bed so that the room is filled with a little more light. [Y/N] moves closer to Bucky and her fingers move carefully from his shoulder to the place where a red star could be seen until a year ago. She traces the spot as if the star was still there, only then inspecting the rest. But this time she stops at his wrist because last time their hands touched, he backed away quickly. Bucky's breathing is already a little faster and [Y/N] doesn't want to scare him off again like she did in Bucharest. "Pretty cool" she mumbles and breaks the new silence. She likes the decent look the new arm has.
"Vibranium" Bucky replies cautiously. He has to make an effort not to crack his voice.
"The metal that Steve's shield is made of?" asks [Y/N] in surprise and looks up. Bucky's and [Y/N]'s eyes meet again but their faces are a lot closer after the brief inspection.
"Yes..." mumbles Bucky without taking his eyes off [Y/N]. He gets lost in her [y/ec] eyes. His heart is racing, his breath halting and he can't stop looking into her eyes. And [Y/N] feels similar. Bucky's intense gaze makes her nervous and yet she can't look away. She can feel the cool metal of his arm in her hand and the warmth emanating from the rest of his body. "I was also on hold for a while" she says, her voice barely a whisper. "Most likely froze myself."