Next up on the smashing block is 'A Dangerous Case' by @LeInkPen otherwise named Audrey Thompson.
Her story is a fanfiction of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Even if the property to the names and events in the original classical novel are not held by anyone in particular, I still consider this a fanfiction by its nature. One that manages to be in that legal grey area where it can likely be published for real if the author wanted.
I love fanfiction, started off years ago writing fanfiction on fanfiction.net and have read dooooooooooozens. Even ones that have 2 million+ words. I wouldn't be here today if I hadn't read some that, to this day, continue to inspire how I write.
Since this is a fanfiction it is worth mentioning the original material. In the Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde you got a dude investigating mysterious shit going down. You meet Jekyll and you hear about Hyde. Shit goes down in the background 90% of the time and the main character is just a detective sort without actually being a detective. Hyde did all kinds of crazy things besides murder. Might have even pissed on someone's head, I don't remember. He explored every impulse no matter how juvenile or cruel. Eventually Jekyll is dead and leaves behind a confession that he was Hyde all along. Now, people often, when thinking of Jekyll and Hyde, think of them as two separate people. This is a common misconception. Kinda like how vampires are today in every conceivable way or thinking Frankenstein's monster was stupid. The original material was a psychological investigation into what a person does when he has the anonymity to pull off his darkest impulses. Such an idea done by Jekyll is a modern day 'Ring of Gyges', an idea presented by Plato that explores what a good guy will do if he can put on a ring of invisibility and do crimes without punishment or need to put on a face for societal norms, and in this way reveal who he truly is. This is the basis of Jekyll and Hyde and a core detail is that the core person inside both Jekyll and Hyde is aware of himself at all times and is in full control of his actions no matter what face he wears. He explored his impulses through Hyde like an addict and then cleaned up his messes afterwards while putting on a face of culture and respect as Jekyll. The only thing separating them was their physical appearance. Its a dark concept filled with grey lines and a deep exploration of the human psyche.
I won't spoil this story too much, but it is worth mentioning that as a fanfiction it falls into that common misconception in thinking of the original concept as separate identities as well. I won't deny I was a bit disappointed in this narrative approach, as it removed the core concept of the very material it tried to base itself on that kept it alive as a classic and then replaced it with a generic stereotype that is done oh so often.
But this is only if you try to be extra nitpicky about things and base ones opinion of this story on its source material. That is not the point of this review. And as a fanfiction, then naturally it gets its freedom to do whatever the hell it wants!! Because screw social norms! If Hyde wrote shit it would be fanfiction! :D
TLDR; A take on Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde where science goes wrong and you have a war over the body. Oh, and there is a romance in there to help push the rivalry along cuz I guess love triangles is the thing these days?
I'd rate the story 4 smashing out of 5. It is a good story, a very good story, but it has its flaws.
Main Characters - semi-smashing - You got three main characters. Jekyll, Hyde, and later on, Vanessa. Each is nice in their own right. Jekyll is a contributing member of society, cares about people, loved by everyone, and is a goody little two shoes. Hyde. Is. Not. He has charisma, enough to bend people to his will, and apparently he is a freaking prince of persia, while having the morality and romantic interest of Gilles De Rais (Fate/Zero). The two bounce off each other in great ways and it sits on the border between giving Jekyll a victim status and it being his own fault. This is an important distinction because a victim cannot grow or have a character dynamic relevant to their victimhood, while someone who can be at fault and have consequences can learn and grow from it, thereby storytelling. Hyde also manages to avoid being one-dimensional as he learns and grows in his own way, not to learn the truth against his lie, but to learn how to embrace it further. The result is that Hyde follows a flat negative character arc, while Jekyll follows a flat positive character arc. And this is oh so juicy by the nature of what happens when two opposing flat character arcs converge. Flat character arcs don't change themselves, but the world around them, and this is shown by the world-building. While a superficial "I'm at fault" narrative comes from Jekyll, this falls flat and locks him into a flat character arc because it doesn't approach the underlying issue. Why did he create Hyde? What can he learn from this? How can he grow? This doesn't happen and is impossible because there is no underlying lesson. Is the truth that Jekyll needs to learn about the dangers of reaching for science with such obsession, like the lesson of Frankenstein? Is the truth that human traits we perceive as evil are not to be merely pushed away, but turned to forces for good? (like lazy people are GREAT at streamlining processes with automation to avoid doing it over and over. or like the love and lusting passion in romance is to be embraced in marriage without restraint?) Dont know. The story doesnt seem to try to find a philosophy to have as the basis for lies and truth to allow character growth, but keeps it superficial on the actions themselves.
This makes the story easily digestible but left me with some things to be desired. Like what was the motivation for Jekyll to create the serum to begin with? It is explored, but only briefly. So a kid says a line at some point 5-10 years ago. Does this mean Jekyll has a thing for obsessing over random ideas? Did he have a childhood friend who went insane and this motivated Jekyll to find a cure? It is not normal for someone to hear a random line about how you have an angel and devil on your shoulders and suddenly you spend decades of your life, day and night, destroying your health, to create a serum, to resolve... a thought? There is a lack of motivation here to cement this, to create a lesson, to create a philosophy, to create something for the characters to learn from and discern lie and truth, and ultimately grow.
So without a philosophy or motivation, what pushes the story forward? This is where, amazingly enough, a subplot takes over.
Vanessa who is, im sorry, a bit too perfect. Smart, witty, cunning, trusting, discerning, physically fit, badass. I liked her the least because she is unrelatably perfect. I don't mean she punches good or can scream the loudest to power up or some bullshit, but in personality and will and interactions she has no flaws. No lies she believes that needs to be corrected, and no truths to offer. She does her job and fulfills her role as VIP McGuffin, but she is so devoid of flaws that it robs her of dynamic and she might as well be a one-dimensional side character. But when you give her scenes from her POV it forces her to be a MC. Which, I was not a fan of. Her dynamic with the two of them was great, but I fail to see what her point is. Why her over other woman? Why her over the random hooker, or the dancing lady, or the princess, or the Queen of England? It seemed circumstantial at most. How does she contribute to the philosophy or lesson the characters are trying to learn?
The lesson that doesnt exist.
This is ultimately where the three characters fall flat a bit. You have two main characters who have nothing to learn or grow towards or grow from, whose entire existance as flat character arcs is to change the world around them. You would think this would mean that there is a third character they both influence and teach who really is the one benefiting from the dynamics. But the third character, who should fill this role, has no flaws, has no influence on the world, and so has no character arc at all.
Actually, that is slightly incorrect. There is a character arc for her. It lasts like two chapters. Out of 38.
Despite how much ive said, don't get me wrong. The characters were a treat. Their interactions are juicy, and heart pounding, but that also means it isn't easy to explain what is wrong here. When you look closely, there is nothing gained or lost for any of them. They aren't better people coming out of this than when they entered in.
Side Characters - semi-Smashing! - The Side Characters did their job. They did it well and livened everything up. But that job and purpose could have used more refinement. The butler could have used a bit of variety, like perhaps running into vanessa at the store while he is out getting things for Jekyll. And the best friend could have used a purpose beyond endlessly sayng "aint your fault". Easily the best side character was the police dude who actually managed to outwit Hyde for a bit. I laughed my head off with that. Brilliant! That offered something that played an active role in the story. Ultimately the biggest problem comes down to purpose. As said before the characters have no central lesson to learn via lies and truths, therefore there is no philosophical core, there is little purpose, and then there is no key thread for them to push the story down and offer insight into. They just. Exist.
Grammar and Word Usage - Smashing! - It was easy to read. No hiccups. Nothing really to say here. Naturally I would suggest reading the story outloud to oneself or sticking it in grammarly to double check things, but it didn't hinder me at any point nor did I notice mispellings or confusion.
World Building - Semi-smashing - The power of a flat character arc is in affecting the world around it, and this is shown beautifully. Hyde acts as an agent of chaos, and so the world slowly changes over time. Jekyll doesn't really step in as an agent of order against him on such a wide scale, choosing only to focus on a few individuals, so the world descends into a darker and darker path. It could have been oh so much juicier if Jekyll stepped in to try and be a flat character arc more on the same scale as Hyde, they just didn't sync up well in this way, but the world building did well with what it was given. It feels like old england. I think the author did her research and it shows. The only thing missing in this way is if the people spoke like old english but then that would be a bit much to expect haha!
There was one moment where the WB didnt measure up, regretably, so I can't think it perfect. At some point Hyde kills a really important person and... well... yeah. Nothing. You get a newspaper clipping. Thats... about it. It doesn't escalate things. It isn't the event that escalates the story to its peak. It feels more like a result of constant escalation already occuring rather than the escalation itself, but it is also an event that, by its own nature, is worthy of creating its own escalation. Its like exploding dynamite in a building held up by a single pillar and the building doesn't so much as shake. So when I look back at this event where Hyde kills Very Important Person, I can only think "why is this even here? How does this contribute to the plot lines?" I mean I get it has a purpose in the relationship between Hyde and Jekyll of showing how far he is willing to go, but this is like shooting bunny rabbits with a nuke and then there is no mushroom cloud, just a dead bunny. Its almost cartoony. Like Loony Tunes.
Plot - Dat Ending Do'h!- The plot is, in its most basic form, as follows:
Main Plot introduced -> Subplot Romance introduced -> Subplot escalates the Main Plot -> Subplot and Main Plot reaches its peak simultaneously and both resolve.
This. was. Great. But then there is a problem as the story continues.
Subplot Romance continued on past its resolution -> Main Plot introduced again -> Subplot Romance peaks -> Subplot Romance ends going nowhere through this second run-around -> Main Plot ends a second time -> Epilogue.
A story deeper than this one could have worked by establishing a philosophy of lies and truthes to carry it on past "bad guy captured and good guy gets the girl" with the thought of "just because the bad guy is captured doesnt mean we win, there is still the underlying issue to fix" but the story lacks that depth to carry it further. It emphasises the events themselves rather than the underlying causes and character flaws so when the event comes where 'bad guy captured'. Then... well story over. GG. You win. Victory. It is a very simplistic us vs them, black and white, thing. But then the story picks up again, almost like a sequel tacked onto the end, and pushes the ending back by a rather long time. This made the pacing go from being very clean and smooth to draaaaaaaaaaaaaggging on. Its not bad chapters but it feels like a sequel or an epilogue that is 1/3rd the length of the whole freakin story. Personally I would cut them out and put them in a seperate book so its clear where the actual story ended.
Problem is that the plot didn't seem to know if it wanted to be a main plot or sub plot. The subplot basically overrid it and made the main plot irrelevant. This, I think, is again due to that lack of indepth motivation, flaws, and lies and truths. The main plot itself is just a series of events, rather than anything underlying to be resolved in the characters. the characters then are flat arcs. the only thing growing or shifting or changing is the romance subplot. So thats the thing readers latch onto. Then when it ends you revive a main plot that had already been killed off without purpose to start with except to conclude the romantic subplot, and the return of the main plot has a similarly lack of purpose because... why? What do they gain or learn or grow from it with? Why pick it back up besides to beat a dead horse? Why create a main plot with no underlying lies nor truths, and rather than create them and explore them you replace a main plot with a subplot, kill them off, revive them both, kill off the subplot again, only to be left with a stale main plot that didnt have its own strengths and weaknesses to start with? Its all very confusing to say outloud!! I almost dont know what I just said! haha
It takes a LOT to get me to root for any couples in a romantic way. That holds up here. I didn't really care nor was I pining for them, but the romance still felt genuine and not just "lets fuck at first sight! :D" So when they said the four letter word I found the build up to it was good and that their emotions were earned, thought through, and respected. It made sense. The romance subplot was good. i actually... maybe. might have. (le gasp) enjoyed the romance.
Problem is tho, that a romance plot and philosophical hero vs villain plot both require very different things and different tones. You can have both. To the stories credit it tried, it really tried, I love that, and it ALMOST succeeded in giving everything we needed for both kinds of plots to happen simultaneously. Close, but no cigar. The romance subplot did well while the main plot didn't measure up. So the tone was a bit confusing and felt very back and forth.
I'm out with a smashing!!
If you are interested in learning to write, mastering the craft, want some really good reads, or just to chat and hang out with a mature group of adults, feel free to hit me up for a smashing discord book club that has lasted years.