The last thing I wanted to do was get on a plane and go back to my hometown for Chris's engagement party. He mentioned it to me a few days ago and of course, I didn't want to let him down. It's the fact I had to be around Sawyer was the reason my skin was itching. They finally picked a wedding date, which was at the end of the year. So that meant I only had six more months before the dreaded day, six more months till I see him marry the wrong person.
Why? That was always the question on my mind when I thought about it. I wanted to truly accept it, I wanted to let it go so I could have some inner peace with myself but honestly... I just couldn't bring it in me. This book I am writing isn't helping the feeling, but it sure is good for getting the emotions out. Who needs therapy when you can write a book about how you are in love with your best friend and he's marrying a girl who cares nothing about him except his dollar? It's free and it's fun.
The plane ride to Boston wasn't bad, besides Reed snoring so loud I couldn't bother writing because I was so distracted. Chris decided last minute to throw a little engagement party with his closest family friends. I know Sawyer wasn't too happy about it because she wanted something more glitz and glamour, trying to find different ways to use Chris's credit card. I guess she is sucking it up for this occasion.
"Honey! We are going to be late!" I heard my mom shout as I stared into the mirror in my old childhood home. Lately, I haven't been facing the music like I should be. Truth be told, I didn't want to see Sawyer and him together. That was like pins and needles. As the footsteps became heavier, I didn't even bother turning around. My mother placed her hands on my shoulder, resting her head on top of them. "I know you don't want to go."
"Oh, you couldn't tell?" I asked sarcastically and she rolled her eyes.
"I know you don't like her," She tells me, as she rubs my shoulders to calm me down. "I mean... to be fair, we all aren't a fan of her. But you have to suck it up. No sass mouthing miss Reece."
"I'm not going to sass her mom," I turn around to grab the shoes I am going to wear. "I am a grown adult, and it's Chris's time. I wouldn't want to sabotage it even if I despise her. But boy, do I have some fine words to say to her."
"Don't we all." My mom mumbles, walking out of the room. I gotta keep reminding myself that this moment isn't about me or my emotions. It's not about how much my family and his family hate his bride to be. This is for Chris. Not for Sawyer, because I want nothing to do with her. But I just want my best friend happy, even if that means I become unhappy. I strap on my shoes and make my way down the stairs, where I see Reed looking up at me with a devilish smirk on his face.
"You look like you are having the time of your life." Reed mumbles into my ear and I rolled my eyes.
"Wanna make a bet to see how many times she'll groom him during dinner?" I asked him and he laughed.
"I don't even have to bet on that." He tells me. "I just know it's going to happen one way or another."
"Are we ready to get this over and done with?" I turn around to see my father fixing his tie. We have never had a problem having dinner with the Evans. They are close friends that we considered part of our family. But we didn't include Sawyer, because she's... you know... Sawyer.
"Dale." My mom warns my father. "Don't say that. Now we are going to have a nice time. We don't get to see the kids a lot and Chris is like a son to us. We might not like the poor girl but we can at least be optimistic about the situation! So suck it up. It'll be like any other dinner." My father rolled his eyes as he followed her out the door and Reed snickered.
"This is going to be a disaster."
We followed our parents out the door and made our way across the street from where Chris's family lived. Good thing about this was the fact that we haven't moved since I moved out. As we made it further towards their home, Chris's mom, Lisa, stepped out.
"Was it that bad already?" My dad blurted out. Reed and I couldn't contain ourselves as we laughed and our mother looked at us with beady eyes. Immediately we stopped as we looked back up at Lisa. I considered Lisa another mother, someone I could always rely on when I didn't have my own mother to help me out. She always thought Chris and I were going to end up with each other in the end. Everyone thought that. Turns out everyone was sadly wrong.
"I love Chris, but god I can't stand her." Lisa mumbled, getting off the porch and making her way to hug Reed and I. She grabbed onto my shoulders and looked at me. "God, how can you handle her?" She asked and I shrug.
"It's a disguise."
Her and my mom end up chatting as the party makes its way inside. As soon as I walk through those doors, Shanna and Carly give me a huge hug along with Reed. I could feel Chris's stare on me, but I didn't want to look at him with her around his arm. Not in this moment I couldn't. The stare was so harsh, but I had to keep avoiding it.
Eventually I felt a tap on my shoulder, and I turned around seeing Chris. "You can't ignore me forever." He joked as he pulled me into a tight hug. I hugged him back as all the sudden I felt Sawyer's death glare on me. I hugged him back lightly, pulling away and nudging him. "I am not ignoring you! I was chatting with Shanna and Carly!"
Sawyer clears her throat as if she wants to be recognized that she is present. C'mon Reece. Play it cool. Be the better person, would you? I looked over at Sawyer. Her blonde silky hair was perfectly curled along with the white jumper and sandals she was wearing. "Hi Sawyer, you look pretty." I compliment her and she lets out a fake laugh.
"Well, you don't look too bad yourself! You clean up!"
This is going to be a long night of me biting my tongue.
The engagement party had been running smoothly. Chris tried his best to mingle with everyone who had showed up while Reed, Scott and I watched from a distance. "God, look at her." Scott mumbled, holding his red solo cup. "Could you believe that she asked my mom to get new sheets for Chris's room because she wanted clean sheets?"
"Shut up, that's not true." Reed mumbled, sipping on his drink.
"I wish it wasn't, you should of seen the look on my moms face," Scott tells us. "She almost beat the living daylights out of her. But she didn't want to upset Chris. It's like walking around eggshells when she's around. I hate it." I turned slightly to get a better look at Chris and Sawyer. Her arm was tightly around his waist, while he held onto hers. It made me sick, it didn't feel right.
"Reece?" My eyes darted back towards Reed and Scott who were looking at me with much concern. "You alright?" Reed asked. "You look like you saw a ghost."
"I'm fine." I lied, and they didn't ask anymore questions. Scott was giving me a look though, and I couldn't help but feel jealous. She was everything I wasn't. If Sawyer walked into a room, all heads would turn towards her. Me on the other hand? Invisible.
"Dinner is ready everyone!" Lisa yelled out to all the guests. I sighed as I realized I had to eat dinner with both of them. I didn't even have an apatite to eat at all. As all the guests approached the big table in the backyard where everything was being served, I felt a nudge. I looked beside me to see Scott, giving me a hopeful smile.
"Hey, I'll sit by you. I don't want your time to be more miserable than it already is." He tells me, but I shrug it off.
"It's not." I lie once more and he just rolls his eyes.
"Reece, you are full of shit." He comments. "I saw the way you looked at my brother and it's making you uncomfortable. If she does anything or say anything out a line. I will stand up and say something."
"Fine." I mumbled, knowing I am not going to get anywhere with him because Scott can't take no for an answer. Scott and I were some of the last people to arrive at the big table, and sure enough I was sitting right across from Chris and Sawyer. As I sit down, I give Chris a weak smile. He furrows his eyebrows, all confused... but good ole oblivious Chris. He doesn't quite understand what is wrong.
"So, Sawyer." I heard my mother speak up. "Did you guys plan a wedding date yet? Has any plans been put into place?" I am trying my best to tune out what she is saying because the last thing I want to hear is about their wedding that I wish would just fail. I sip on my water, trying to ignore the conversation that is playing out in front of me.
"We have it set for New Years Eve, this year actually!" Sawyer replies back and I choke on my water silently. Chris darts me a look of concern, as I cough trying to clear my throat. Sawyer doesn't care though.
"Oh, so soon!" My mom grabbed the homemade breadsticks and passes it to Chris. "Do you know where?"
"Hawaii, actually." Sawyer's voice echoed through the backyard. "I know Chris wanted it in Boston, but luckily we compromised on a location in Hawaii and we fell in love with it! We knew it was the location we had to get married in, isn't that right Chrissy?"
Chrissy? Gag.
"Well, that just means we have plans this upcoming winter, now don't we?!" Lisa interrupts trying to change the subject. I try my best not to look up at Chris and I eat my food silently, but I can feel his stare on me. Why is he staring at me? Shouldn't he be staring at Sawyer, his bride to be? What is going on with him? Maybe he is just worried because I always talk when his family and I get together. But this is different. Sawyer isn't family. She will never be considered family in my eyes. Married or not.
I grab my water and sip it, and accidentally look over at Chris who is wiggling his eyebrows and making silly faces at me. I couldn't help but to laugh and he started to laugh as well. His laughter has always been contagious to me, so my laughs got heavier and heavier. He did as well, to the point where Sawyer was looking at me and him funny.
"What's so funny?" Sawyer commented, but we both ignored her continuing to laugh.
"Oh, Sawyer. They always laugh at nothing sometimes." Reed tells her, sipping on his water. "At this point we don't even acknowledge it." Eventually, we both calmed down and wiped the tears from our eyes from laughing so hard. Sawyer gave Chris a look while everyone else was chatting besides Scott and I.
"What?" Chris asked Sawyer. "We were just laughing, what's the problem?"
"What were you both laughing at, huh?" She asked defensively. I take a bite of my food as I watch the drama unfold. "Is it something on my face? You guys weren't laughing at me, weren't you?"
"He was just making funny faces at me, that's all." I tell her as I sip on my water. Her eyes lower but I just ignore it. It did make the dinner somewhat more enjoyable than I thought it would be. I didn't really pay attention to Sawyer or Chris for the rest of the night as I tried my best to mingle with Scott and Reed who were sitting beside me.
The dinner was fantastic and we said our goodbyes to the Evans, walking across the street and back to our house. Even though I made it through, it didn't mean I didn't feel this ragging hole in my chest from just having Sawyer there hurt even more. I made my way up to my old childhood room and plopped on the bed, trying to figure out what to do. I didn't have my laptop with me, so I couldn't write another reason why I hated him. It was moments like this that I wished I had my computer but I guess the world was not backing me up today. So I figured to do the next best thing.
I put on some comfy pajamas and grabbed one of my old VHS tapes to put in my TV. You could never go wrong with Back To The Future, now couldn't you? That's what I wish I could do right now. You know, go back in a time machine to the moment where Chris got on one knee and asked Sawyer to marry him, interrupt him and confess my feelings towards him because I am starting to regret the fact I didn't tell him sooner. Or I wish I had more of the guts to tell him.
But I didn't and the past is in the past. While watching the movie, I couldn't get over the feeling of dwelt and sorrow in my mind. I was supposed to be happy for him because he's my best friend! My best friend that I am so in love with. Thump. What the hell? I turn to my window to see Chris waving.
I immediately got up and ran to my window, opening it. He stumbled in and stood up, straightening his clothes out. "What are you doing here?" I asked.
"To ask you if you're okay because it looked like you were about to cry while we were at dinner." He moves over and plops on my bed. "And Back to The Future, really?"
I sigh, sitting down next to him and I shrug. "I am fine, and yes... it's a good movie."
"Reece Carter, you are lying to me." He turned over to me. "We have been best friends for years and I can tell when you are lying to me. Was it something I said? Or was it the thing Sawyer said?"
Or is it the fact that I am madly in love with you and I don't want you to get married?
"Where is Sawyer, by the way?" I asked him, trying to change the subject from me to him. "I mean, wouldn't she be a little concerned that you sneaked out of her grasp and climbed into a girls room late at night?"
"Correction." He lifts his finger. "You are more than just a girl, you are my best friend so it is an exception. Also, she went to bed about an hour ago. She doesn't need to know what I am doing all the time. She will once I get married to her, so I'm sneaking out when I can."
My eyes shut as he said the last line. The more I get reminded of it, the more it hurts. "Well, you shouldn't be here." I whispered, looking at my hands. "And I don't need you to check up on me because I am fine. I was just getting anxious around all those people."
"But it was my family."
"Chris." I turn over to him, holding back my tears. No Reece... don't cry in front of him. Then he will never stop bugging you. "I promise you that I am okay, I am just not having a good day. So I suggest you go."
"I am not going to leave you until you tell me what is wrong." He whispers, grabbing my hands. No.. Chris, don't do this to me now. "You look like you are on the verge of tears.. Did I do something wrong? Did someone hurt you? Do I have to beat them up? Was it DJ again? I don't know how many times I have to tell him-"
"It's just that time of the month," I lied to him but it looks like he buys into it. "I am just in one of those moods and my stupid hormones are all over the place."
"So that's why you've been ignoring me all day?"
"I haven't been ignoring you all day," I let him know. "It's just I haven't felt like myself all day and I just want to rest. That's all." I let go of his hands, running my fingers through my hair. I hope he's buying what I am selling. It sure looks like that's the case.
"Do you want me to run to the store and get you anything? Like chocolate or something, like I used to?" He asked and I shook my head.
"I'd rather you not, okay?" I tell him. "What I want you to do is march your butt out of my room and back to your fiancé because that is where you should be right now. Not here." He looks at the TV and back to me.
"Fine, I'll go." He whispered. I do feel bad, I shouldn't of been so blunt and I hate lying to him. He reaches the window and makes his way out, but before he does, he turns his body to me. "I love you Reece's Pieces. Text me if you need anything." I look up and see his hurt look on his face.
"Love you too." I whispered back and just like that, he is out of here. I bury my head in my pillow and just cry. Why did this have to happen to me? Why did I have to be in love with the one person I couldn't have?
-
HEY EVERYONE!!! Sorry for the lack of updates. I have finals and also this book is so hard for me to write because sometimes I lose motivation for this book. But I do love it though and I am glad I got this chapter up for you guys.
Also, this is one of the first chapters where Reece isn't writing in the book! Thought I'd switch it up just a little bit. What are your thoughts so far? I would love to hear them.
ALSO I GO BACK TO MY JOB THAT'S BEEN CLOSED FOR ONE YEAR IN TWO WEEKS TODAY!!! We've been closed due to the pandemic but we finally got the okay from the brand and the state! So that's been really exciting on my end.
Thank you for all the love, it means the world!!!
- AGENTSOFCARTER