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Chapter Ten
“Dr Remington,” Daniel growled angrily. “Get out, now.”
Dr Remington fled the room very quickly so that Daniel could attempt to explain their situation to Sabine. He had been hoping to receive a reply from Jane before he had to talk to Sabine about it but now he had to think on his feet.
“You’re my papa?” Sabine repeated, shocked. Sabine was properly sitting up in her bed. She’d pushed her covers away and turned to face him. Her nightgown had risen to above her knees and he could see that her rash was indeed fading.
Daniel nodded. “I am, Sabine.”
Sabine’s lip trembled as she looked at him. Her eyes watered and she quickly wiped her tears away. “Why are you here?” she asked innocently. “You don’t live here.”
Daniel accepted that, of course she would think that. “I haven’t lived here for a long time, but if you’d be alright with it, I’d like to live here again.” He wanted to let her decide. If he was to repair their relationship he wanted it to be on her terms.
Sabine looked at him intently for a long while. “I don’t look like you, how can you be my papa?” she asked curiously.
“You look like your mother,” Daniel replied and stood up from his seat.
“Mama,” she repeated softly to herself. “Mama had light hair like me?” she asked.
Daniel nodded and touched the side of her head softly, testing how far he could go with her before she became uncomfortable with him. To his surprise she tilted her head into his hand.
“Why do you want to live here again?” she asked, almost sounding sad.
“Because I want to look after you, Sabine, you are very special to me,” he replied, smiling down at her.
She pursed her lips before she asked him her next question. “How come you never looked after me before?” she asked.
That Daniel didn’t have an answer to. He couldn’t tell her why he’d stayed away for so long without her feeling like she was responsible for it. She was only five years old; she didn’t need such information swimming around in her head, ill as it was. “Now you can ask me anything you want after you’ve had a nap, you need your rest.” He would be sure to think of something to say to her. He wouldn’t leave her questions unanswered.
Sabine sighed and reluctantly laid back down in bed. Daniel covered her with her blankets but resisted kissing her forehead. He didn’t want to push it too far with her. She was young and innocent but he had no idea where her head was at. She could hate him for all he knew.
He wished that Jane was there to advise him. She knew how to act around children; she had proven it with her nieces and nephews.
As he walked out of Sabine’s room and re – entered the hallway he stared at the white door that led into his old bedchamber. He wanted to go in there, he really did, but he felt as though his feet weighed a thousand pounds when he made a move to step in that direction. He couldn’t, not just yet.
Daniel could not have been happier when the ninth day arrived and Sabine was still on the mend. Dr Remington was confident that her throat ulcers had completely gone and her skin would be back to normal very soon. Her temperature had also disappeared and according to Miss Porter she had begun to return to normal.
He didn’t like that he couldn’t tell if her behaviour was normal or not, and that was one of the subtle jabs that Miss Porter kept sending him. She really did not trust him around Sabine, not that he could blame her. What he did like though was how fond she was of Sabine, and how fond Sabine seemed of Miss Porter.
Daniel also noticed that when the doctor or servants weren’t around that Miss Porter allowed Sabine to call her ‘Gwenny’. As Sabine became more and more comfortable around Daniel she called her ‘Gwenny’ in front of him too. But, not once had she addressed him as ‘papa’. He didn’t know if he should expect her to, or if she ever would, he could only hope.
Sabine had had many questions for him when she was finally allowed to ask them and Daniel still didn’t have that many answers. He didn’t want to discuss death with his daughter nor tell her the nature of her mother passing away – that was a conversation for when she was much older.
“Where have you been for so long?” Sabine had asked him.
“London mostly,” he’d replied. “And then I travel to Bath and sometimes over to Paris.”
“I’ve never heard of those places,” Sabine had replied. At that moment she reached over to the bedside table opposite the side on which Daniel was sitting and picked up a silver hairbrush. Daniel recognised it immediately. He bought it for her on his travels and had had it engraved for her. On the handle in beautiful, delicate script, it read her name. “Gwenny says my papa bought me this,” she’d said softly as she turned it over in her little hands.
“I did,” Daniel had smiled at her.
Sabine had looked up at him and held the brush out. “Will you put my hair in braids?” she asked.
Daniel had paused. He didn’t know how to braid hair ... he’d seen them but he didn’t know how they came to be. “I’m afraid I don’t know how, do you?” he asked.
Sabine had shaken her head. “No,” she’d replied. “Will you brush my hair then?”
For the next hour or so Daniel spent running the silver brush through her long, blonde locks. It was so soft and cared for. Even after it had been brushed to feel like silk he kept going. He liked the feeling of her depending on him for something, even if it was for something as trivial as brushing her hair.
When Sabine had found out that she was no longer ill she was anxious to get out of bed and go outside. Daniel was not prepared to take any risks though and he barred it. Until her skin was completely clear he made sure that nobody was to allow Sabine outside of her bedchamber.
Daniel did allow her to get out of bed and play in her bedchamber though. He observed that she loved to play with her dolls in her dollhouse. Apparently one of the footmen had made it for her for her fourth birthday, paying for the materials using his own wages. Daniel had tried to reimburse the man but he’d refused. He liked that all his employees loved Sabine. He noticed the most common adjective used was ‘enchanting’.
Miss Porter had tried to teach him how to braid hair but she didn’t have much patience when it came to teaching which was ironic. He would be sure to ask Jane for instructions if he ever got a reply from her.
Sabine also liked drawing, and for her age she was very good as drawing objects. She’d drawn many scenes that she created in her dollhouse quite accurately.
As she was drawing on the tenth day he looked over her shoulder at her current project. She was drawing a little girl standing next to an older woman, her mother she assumed.
“Who’s that?” Daniel asked, trying to entice another conversation.
“That’s my doll Sabine,” she replied innocently. He smiled, think it adorable that she named her doll after herself.
“And is that Sabine’s mama?” he asked, gesturing towards the woman standing next to her.
Sabine shook her head casually. “No, her mama died,” she said innocently. “That’s her governess.”
Daniel closed his eyes at the liberal way she talked about her doll’s mother’s death. Did she think that all mothers died? Did she think it was the norm? “What about her papa?” Daniel continued already knowing the answer.
“He’s busy,” she said simply. “He doesn’t like to see Sabine.”
Daniel closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He’d been such a poor father. She really was an ‘enchanting’ girl and he’d missed it. He’d missed all her milestones such as her first words and steps and her first laugh and smile. He’d missed everything. He’d been terrible, and now she believed fathers were too busy and all mothers die.
At that moment there was a knock on the door and he thanked them for the distraction. “Yes?” he called.
The door opened and a little blonde maid entered the room. She curtseyed before him and held out a letter. “This just arrived for you, milord, from London.”
Daniel jumped, hoping it was from Jane. He took the letter gratefully and held it tightly in his hand. He needed to reply straight away, he had so many questions to ask her, the latest being what he’d realised Sabine believed when she played with her dolls. “What is your name, young lady?” he asked.
“Claire, milord,” Claire replied.
“Claire, will you please sit with Lady Sabine while I answer this?” he asked, stealing a look back at Sabine who was still happily drawing away at her desk.
“Of course,” Claire nodded and she crossed the room to sit next to Sabine at her desk. Sabine grinned happily at the maid – clearly they were friendly.
Daniel exhaled sadly and made his way out of the room and downstairs to his study. He closed the door behind him and then locked it, wanting a little privacy to collect his thoughts.
He looked down at the letter in his hand and quickly broke the seal with his finger. He unfolded it and admired her lovely handwriting.
Dear Daniel,
I cannot tell you how physically ill I felt when I read that Sabine had contracted that horrible disease. Truly, I know how devastating it is and I would not wish the loss on anyone. I am glad, however, that you believe she is making a recovery.
You needn’t fret about what I think when you worried that you needed to apologise for leaving the ball the last week, I completely understand.
You also needn’t thank me. I am proud that you were able to return to Sabine in her time of need. It is the first step to repairing your relationship with her.
I hope you succeed in telling Sabine who you truly are. Just remember to be tender and understanding with her – she’s not used to having parents in her life and now she has an authority figure. It will take some time to get used to it, so be patient with her. My only advice would be to allow her to lead the way with how fast your relationship goes. Do not be presumptuous in your relationship her until she trusts you.
As for your invitation, I would like to accept it. I have ordered the carriage and I should arrive on Tuesday provided there are no delays with the horses. Emilia and Sebastian are also to join me but after I send word that Sabine is completely healthy, you understand their hesitation as they have five young children, I trust.
I will see you soon, my friend, and I cannot wait to meet little Sabine.
Yours,
Jane.
Daniel looked up from the letter and sighed. It was too late to use her advice but it made him very happy that she was accepting his invitation. He found himself missing her when she was not around. She said things to make him laugh and just seeing her made him forget, even for an hour.
His eyes read over two words in her letter that bothered him – ‘my friend’. He didn’t mind that she presumed something about their relationship but reading those words seemed a little strange to him.
He shook off the feeling. It was Sunday, so Jane was only a few days away so there was no point replying to her letter as it wouldn’t reach her before she was in the carriage. Instead he tucked the letter away in a locked drawer in his study and thought of all the things he wanted to ask Jane.
The first and foremost question in his head – how does one braid hair?
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Hey everyone! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I apologise for the wait.
So I just wanted to forewarn you - on Wednesday I'm going on a belated graduation holiday with a friend for a week, so between now and about Monday I'll have a few chapters up before I go MIA for 7 days. I'll still have Wattpad on my phone (so you can post on my message board etc) but I won't be writing anything for a week.
Anways, please vote and comment :D I love feedback xox Enjoy your weekends!