hope you'll like that chapter :))
"Why won't you pass me the fucking salt Blaise" , this time, Anthony's voice was louder than before and I though he'll punch Blaise if he has to ask it once more.
Onyx laughed so hard with Theo, while she gently asked Blaise to give it to his brother.
"Anthony, that is so easy to make you rage", Blaise replied, giving him the salt.
Dinner with the group was such a good mood. Even though they'd had a bad day, they would never let it ruin this one time in the day when we were all together.
We would laugh, and stay stupid thing, and gossip about others and we would go into philosophical discussions that made no sens. and the debate would go on until they'd brought me back to my house dorm.
And I'd decided to eat with them tonight, not that I didn't want to be with Hermione, but I felt like I wasn't welcome by Harry and Ron. Well especially Harry. With this Voldemort's stuff, he barely trust anyone, and therefore Slytherins, won't even address them.
It was almost 8 o'clock and the great hall wasn't crowed since many students went back for the weekend. Which means more space and more food.
I tried to search for Mattheo: this idea of him spying me repulsed me, because I'm not free of being me, at all. No sight of him, obviously but I was sure he was there. I could feel him, feel his presence, the darkness that radiated from him.
"Why was he there ?" Draco's voice filled my ears, taking me out of my thoughts. He was sitting across me.
I looked at him surprised by his question, even though I knew it would come. We hadn't talk since their training and I knew wouldn't let go the fact the Mattheo had showed up there. Before I said anything I quickly check beside me: Onyx was talking to Blaise and the three others boys must be having a very exciting conversation.
"How would I know", I brought my glass to my mouth.
"Why was he there, Y/N ?" this time he sounded more persuasive. I put down my glass, staring deep into his eyes. He was waiting for an answer I couldn't give, not now and here anyway.
"I don't know, Draco", he was so not going to believe that, because he'd saw me. The look I gave him when he was on his broom, the paleness in my face and the fear in my eyes.
Draco looked away with annoyance, clicked his tongue before posing a hand on the table, then he bend a little to be closer.
"Don't lie to me Y/N, what the hell-" he raised his voice, and paused to go quieter, "does he want with you ?"
"I-" he cut me before I could speak. "Choose your next words very carefully Y/N, if he has done something to you-" but I cut him next, sick of being told what to do.
"I, am perfectly capable of doing what the fuck I want-" I noticed I was a bit louder, and the last thing I wanted was for someone else to hear me, "so let me the fuck alone".
I sat back in my chair, trying to think of something else but I was so angry I couldn't stay still. So I grabbed my sweat and left the table. I didn't dare looking back and I prayed that Onyx wouldn't follow me.
I passed the door and I found myself in the corridors. It was chilly, thank Merlin I had a sweater. The sun had long set, and the few torches were the only source of light.
Draco must have told Onyx not to follow, because she wasn't there. It was 8:20pm, which means I had less than an hour before I'll have to go back into Mattheo's dorm.
I'll probably go back to my dorm, read a bit, hoping Hermione won't come back before I leave.
-
I didn't read. The 40 minutes had passed and I stayed on my bed, lying, thinking about the next part.
My brain was crowded with thoughts honestly, and I needed to, put them in order.
I thought about the time Mattheo entered my mind. The way he spoke to me through some sort of connexion that allowed him to slip into my brain. I could feel the ton of his voice when he did, if he was angry, if he had a smirk playing on his lips while saying it, if it was a whisper.
I heard about this ability to enter people's mind several times. Harry had told us month ago that, he began having visions about Voldemort, he spoke to him too, in his mind. And Snape had been told by Dumbledore to teach Harry Occlumency, to prevent from Voldemort slipping into his mind.
Therefore Snape was a Legilimens, which is the ability to slip into someone's mind, and there were rumors that Voldemort tortured his followers with it, to make them reliving their worst moment, to prevent them from lying to him.
So I guess Mattheo must have inherited this talent from his dear father.
But he wasn't the only one to have this ability. Draco had it too. I knew he did, his father must have train him to make him stronger against any sort of attack. Since he was a death eater, Dumbledore would have no scruple slipping into his mind to see what kind of plan Voldemort was up to.
I had to ask him to teach me. Teach me on how to protect myself, how to build those shields around me. Though Mattheo was "just" talking to me, I didn't want him to see it.
To see me.
It was 8:55. I knew I could choose not to go. Stay in my room and see if he'd missed me tomorrow.
I could, but I won't risk him hurt me again. Nor hurt my friends.
I really had no idea why he wanted me there. 'The matter that is at stake' , he'd said earlier. Maybe he wanted me to do something, some kind of a mission, I don't know.
8:57. Do I go now ? I should really.
I rose myself from my lying position and got in front of the mirror. I looked a bit unwell, with my eyes still a bit swollen. My big sweater covered my ass above my leggings.
I opened the door and left.
-
I didn't search his room for long. Always this darkness that emitted from him, from his chamber.
Mattheo was inside.
It was past 9, but I didn't look at my watch or make a mouvement while all the things that happened came to my mind.
His smell, his touch,
I had to shut it down, now.
Before I could knock, the door opened.
Our eyes directly met.
He didn't seem angry or anything. Rather "normal". Odd. My heart went racing and I couldn't pace it. It was so hot there, I wanted to take my sweat off.
Mattheo wore a black long sleeve, that struck against his stomach, making his muscles appeared.
I think I got a bit pale at his sight and he damm well saw hit, because a hint of a wry smile appeared on his face before he broke the silence.
"I was waiting for you", his hand still braced on the door, he opened it wider, as an invitation to come in.
I didn't say a thing as I got into his room.
It was so clean, the bed was perfectly done, no clothes on the floor, no stuff on his bedside table. Only a book was on it, with his wand above it.
It looked like he was never in his room. Must be magic that clean it everyday.
As I heard the door closing, I stopped right in the middle of the room. Again we stared, and after a few seconds I finally got the courage to speak, looking impatient as I did.
"What do you want ?"
He moved toward his bedside table, and I recoiled at the sight of him getting his wand. And maybe also because I didn't want him near me. But he stopped when he saw it, and let go a chuckle, moving his thumb to his lips.
"You know, I think we got off the wrong foot", letting his thumb down he looked at me again. I was chocked by what I'd just heard.
I clenched my jaw as well as my fist.
"I don't want us to be ennemies, Y/N" the calm in his voice was making me more angry. This men is a crazy fucking bitch. I can't believe what he's saying.
He was so trying to fool me with this attitude, the I'm-not-a-bad-guy attitude. He was smiling, playing with his fingers, his rings now brought to the level of his chest, as if he was somehow stressed.
My ass.
"I begged your pardon ?" I couldn't stopped the words that came out of my mouth.
"Oh you're excused go on", Mattheo reply with such, patency. My blood was fucking boiling.
"You've been harassing me for weeks now, for god knows what, you spy on me and on top of that you dragged me the fuck here this morning, ", Yes, I think I screamed when I said that, but tears weren't here yet, so I can feel lucky. "if you didn't want us to be enemy, maybe you should have thought about it before you fucking abused me you sick bastard"
Shit the tears were here, I felt it, running down my cheeks. I hated myself for crying every time I was angry.
Mattheo didn't flinch, rather his smile disappeared until his no emotions reflected from his face. Minutes passed as we stared, and I must have look like a crazy because I was nearby hitting him.
And his eyes.
Every time I dived into them, I found a large sea of emptiness, void, hate, anger. There were cold and sharp, as if they could kill you in a instant.
I had to be smarter if I didn't want to end up on the floor like that day in the astronomy tower.
"So.what.do.you.want", I marked my word, exhausted.
Mattheo snorted, and drew closer. He didn't stop in front of me but went to a piece of furniture behind me. His back facing me, he opened it to reveal several bottle of what looked like whiskey and a glass.
He poured himself a glass, then brought it to his lips.
"Mattheo", I asked again, tired of being here.
He paused, the glass half way trough his mouth then said,
"I need a book"
"What", I almost chocked on my words, almost letting a laugh come out at his demand.
"I need a book" he repeated very seriously while turning to face me, leaning against the furniture.
"Well I guess I can show you the way through the library", I sighed in despair. Did he dragged me here just to go get a fucking book.
"It's no ordinary book, you won't find it at the school library"
I rolled my eyes and snorted, "Well where is it then ?"
"Don't roll you eyes, Y/N", Mattheo almost replied instantly. He brought his glass to his lips, his dark eyes still into mine, and drank all of the liquor. He slowly put the glass away on the furniture, resting both his elbows on it, on each sides of his body.
"You'll find it in Dumbledore's office, or maybe Snape's", So this was probably why he couldn't get it himself.
If he didn't sound so serious I'll probably laugh. The funniest was, he wasn't even sure where to find the damn object. But I came around and tried to stay calm.
"And, how am I supposed to go in either of those offices ?"
"I'm sure you'll find a way. As for me, I'll find in which office it is and will let you know." He sounded so serious and I could really burst out of laughing at any moment, really. The thing is, how in the fucking hell did I get in this situation.
It's not like there are a thousand other students who are more clever than me for this task. Anyways, let's get on with it.
Mattheo moved forward and walked toward me while explaining, his thumbs rubbing the center of his other hand's palm.
"By its fragrance, the book is no different from an ordinary one, but-" he halted in front of me, not too close though, and I would have step back anyway, "but you will feel its presence, the darkness erupting from it, the perversion." he said those words with such, fluency.
I let out a chuckle, rolling my eyes, again. And I'm pretty sure it make it mad because the next thing I knew, his body was inches from mine and I had instinctively stepped back, colliding with a wall.
Though he wasn't touching me in any way, we were almost sharing the same breath,
"Don't roll your eyes, Y/N." Mattheo marked his every words, holding my stare.
And so did I.
I didn't flinch nor look down. But there wasn't room for an argument so I just broke the silence.
"When do I have to get the book, Mattheo" I told him, pushing my body off the wall, making him step back.
"I'll let you know by the end of the weekend, then you'll go get it for me"
I literally felt like a dog, earring him saying that. And the fact that I was obliging him, obeying him against my own will, bruh, chills down my spine. The weirdest thing in this situation is the fact that I couldn't recall the day that had put me on this situation.
"I guess I see you soon then", I almost rolled back my eyes, but I satisfied myself looking down on him before I made my way toward the door without looking back.
When my hand was on the handle, I heard him says,
"Sooner than you might think, Y/N"
My body didn't so much a move for a second, until I turned the handle and opened the door.
I felt his wicked gaze on my body as I walked out the door, vanishing down the spiral stairs. When I was halfway throught I looked over my shoulder, making sure he wasn't following me or anything.
No one. He had closed his door since the hallway I stood few seconds ago was now dark, empty of light.
I had felt once again the darkness that radiated around him, those black shadows, wicked and perverse which had permeated the room in each corner. It felt like it was watching.
Once I stood in the common room, I scanned it to see that not many students were around. A few were playing cards in those tables near a large window, where the sky was lit by the light emitting from the moon, high in the sky. Green desk lamp were hanging above those tables, the same we have in the library.
Other where near the carved marble fireplace before the sitting area, drinking and probably spilling all the gossip of the day.
A quick glance at my watch to know it was past 9:30. Which means that Onyx and the boys were probably in their respective room, even though I suspected Blaise what in Onyx's.
I didn't want to go to sleep. I needed answer.
So I made myself turned around and I was once again climbing the stairs that lead to the boys dormitory. Only, I stopped in front of Draco's room.
The heat of the fire downstairs reached the hallways. It felt warm but not too warm, just the perfect heat to feel safe.
Before I brought my hand up, I quickly reconsidered what would be my demand and what it implied. Obviously, I wasn't just going to show up at Draco's and said 'oh hi, could you teach me Occlumency ?'.
Well maybe I was, but I didn't know of he'll say yes.
Draco would know it was to shield myself from someone, from a potential threat, and the though of saying to him what was going with Mattheo, didn't want to think about it.
I didn't want to go through a session where Draco would harassed me, again, questioning me about Mattheo and what he might I've done to me.
I neither had the strength nor the time to do it.
After a moment I finally decided to knock on the the door, hoping he would be there. Footsteps were being heard on the other side, coming closer.
"Are you ok ?" was the first thing Draco said to me after he opened the door. He was standing in the frame. He peered up at me.
For a minute I was lost looking at him, looking at his face, his eyes. It appeared the hate he had toward me, the loathe he once had, was gone. I almost smiled at this, the though of finally having my best friend again.
"Y/N ?" The mention of my name made me blink a few times, coming back to the present instant.
"Yes I'm ok-" I paused, looking into his eyes, "um, is Blaze here ?"
As if he was now lost in his thoughts too, he quickly blinked and said,
"No he at Onyx's"
I couldn't hide the smile that appeared on my lips which made Draco smile too before he silently asked what was it.
"I just, predicted he would be there that's all."
"Do you want to come in ?" He ask, moving aside.
" Yes, if you don't mind.", he nodded as an answer, and without thinking twice I passed by him, stepping in.
His room was alike Mattheo's actually. Two larges bed were in the center of the room, with black sheets above. The curtain were drawn, the dorm was lit only by small lights that where all around the chamber, on the wall. It was like small will-o'-the-wisp, probably magic.
Draco and Blaise had always been in this room. Since the day we arrived, I think nothing had changed.
We were both standing in front of each other when I made myself speak.
"I would need you to teach me something." It was clear, though I wasn't sure Draco would have stayed so calm if I had finished my sentence by 'occlumency' instead of 'something'.
He furrowed his brows, asking my silently to go on.
"It's um, I know that you have this ability to go into one's mind, and I would like you to teach it to me-" I paused, knowing that what I just said didn't brought him a single new information.
"Can you teach me Occlumency ?" The words came out of my mouth before I knew.
"What ?" Draco said as soon as he realized what I'd just ask. His lips drops, a gap between them, as his brows furrowed.
As I said, I didn't have the strength to explain the all story as to why I needed it.
"I'd like to protect myself ", I went on, hoping he would be convince.
I knew it wasn't something to be taken lightly, it cost a great deal of pain for someone who didn't master it. But I needed to be able to protect myself. So I went on.
"Please Draco, you're the only one that can help me."
"Why ?" His answer was brief, and the tone of his voice meant that he almost knew that a certain Riddle had to do with this.
"Draco it's-" he cut me, taking a step forward as he ask again, "Why, Y/N ?"
I'd tried to stay calm but it was getting on my nerves so I simply said,
"I already told you Draco, to protect myself. I want to learn how to shield my mind and if it's not by you , then I guess I'll find someone else."
I could see in his look that his blood was boiling, for he started to have an idea as to why I needed to actually protect myself. His eyes peered down at the floor for a few seconds, his hands almost formed into fist.
"Is Riddle as something to do with this ?" , Draco lifted his head toward me, waiting for an honest answer. Because he knew Mattheo was involved, he had saw it, and he also knew I'd lie.
"Yes", I reply truthfully.
"What does he want from you ?", questions and questions, I couldn't bear it anymore, having to justify myself especially if in the end, it just end up with Draco going to knock on Mattheo's door.
I don't think he'll knock though.
But the point is, I already feel bad for lying to practically all of my closest friends that I don't want him to get killed.
"I'm perfectly able to protect myself Draco, I just need you to teach me how."
Draco seemed to consider it, though I could see that he was angry. Because he felt powerless and that wasn't something he was used to.
But I was as stubborn as he was, and therefore he knew that he wouldn't get anymore informations from me if I decided to shut up.
"You will get hurt Y/N, the pain at the beginning is almost unbearable-" he paused, tightening his jaws, before he went on, "I will enter your mind countless time, I'll have to bring back your most painful and darkest memories, Y/N"
For an instant, I almost feel like I wouldn't be able to endure this, I'll never be strong enough. But when Draco finished, I also realized I didn't have a choice.
I'd rather have Draco do it than Mattheo. Because Riddle would enter my mind in the most brutal way.
Draco had now gone silent, watching me as I stared into space.
"I trust you, Draco. But please help me.", it was more than a request, it was my way of saying 'you bullied me for years, now it's your chance to have me forgive you'.
Draco lifted his chin, his silver eyes staring into mine. They were cold, they didn't let any emotions show as he spoke.
"We start tomorrow. Meet me after lunch in my room."