"We don't talk enough! We should open up before it's all too much tumtum tum will we ever learn?! we've been here before! it's just what we know tumtum tum stop your crying, baby it's a sign of the times we gotta get away we got to get away we - ..." I was right in the middle of my singing/screaming session when someone decided to ring the doorbell.
I rolled my eyes and jumped off my stage also known as couch. I muted the music and walked towards the door. Sprinkles, who was now more than a year old, healthy, energetic, food obsessed drama king, followed me as always when I went to open the door.
"Whoever it is, you have my permission to bite them." I mumbled to him and scratched the back of his ears, still pissed that someone dared to stop our performance.
Anyway, I opened the door.
Two familiar faces.
I closed the door again and went back to the living room like nothing happened. Immediately I turned the music back on but this time on even higher volume than before.
However, I couldn't make myself sing again so I just collapsed on the couch with Sprinkles laying on my lap.
The doorbell rang once more. Twice more.
"Please just leave me alone ..." I mumbled and leaned closer to Sprinkles, just when he decided that he had enough of it. His paws made their way towards the door where he started howling like a wolf.
I covered my face with my hands and sighed. "When you think it couldn't get worse ..."
I stood up, turned off the music and walked back to the front door.
"Emily, we need to talk!" Nat shouted from the other side of the door.
"You have to talk, not me." I mumbled and tried to move Sprinkles away from the door.
I kept one of my hands on the doorknob and opened the door just enough to lean on the door frame. "What do you want?" I asked, looking at Nat. I glanced at Steve just once. He was looking at me ... concerned?
For showing up at my house he should be more concerned about himself.
"Can we come in?" Nat asked carefully.
I hesitated for a moment but then I realised that they won't leave until they get what they want, so I moved away from the door and let them in.
After I closed the door they awkwardly stood in the middle of the hall while Sprinkles kept sniffing and jumping on them.
I rolled my eyes and walked past them as I tapped my thigh to make Sprinkles follow me back to the living room. "I told you to bite them ..." I whispered to him.
"Nice house." Nat smiled and looked around the living room.
"Just don't. Let's not pretend that I'm happy to see you. What do you want from me? I mean ... " I said and leaned on the wall on the opposite side of the room from them. "... that's why you're here, right? Because you need something from me. Don't even try to deny it ... everytime I was stupid enough to think that you two are actually my ... friends ... you made it clear that it was just what I knew that you cared about."
"Emily ..." Steve started but I interrupted him immediately.
"No no no. You better stay quiet since I'm already doubting if I should kill you now or in two minutes." I glared at him before looking back at Nat.
"We need you to come with us." she said while holding her breath, clearly not looking forward to my reaction.
I chuckled sarcastically. "I'm actually having a really great time here, so no, I have no wish to join you in whatever mess you got yourself into ... again." I explained while trying not to laugh at how scared Steve looked of jumping Sprinkles.
"It's different this time ..." Steve tried to speak once again but I stopped him just by raising my hand.
"Rogers, last time I trusted you, I almost got blind for the rest of my life. What on earth makes you think that just because you showed up here at my house, is gonna make me drop everything just to go with you, which most likely means either losing a leg or maybe an arm but actually probably getting killed?!" At the end I was nearly yelling.
"I know we failed you. You didn't deserve it. And I know how hurt you must've been ..."
"You have no clue how hurt I was!" I now clearly shouted at Steve as my eyes were starting to tear up. "I trusted you Steve ... and you Natasha ... and what did I get in return? For almost a year not even a day passed without reliving that recording, waking up from nightmares, crying in my sleep but at the same time not even being able to count my money after I came from the store, not being able to drive a fucking bike ... And guess what? You weren't there. None of you even called. I don't care if you were hiding or whatever ... if you cared, if you had at least tiny bit of empathy in your body, you would check up on me. It was all your fault Rogers. And I will never ever let you forget that."
When I finished I ran my hand through my hair frustrated and looked up to prevent myself from crying. I've been crying enough for the past year and a half and I really didn't want to start again since often when I started, it was a trouble to stop. And there was no way I was gonna have a breakdown in front of them.
"I send a letter to Tony. I told him that if you or him needed anything, I'm just a call away." Steve responded carefully.
"That's nice but unlike you I don't call people just when I need them." I replied and sat on the couch since I wasn't feeling very well.
Nat looked at Steve just as if she was trying to say something.
Steve sighed and sat down next to me. Since Sprinkles became kinda obsessed with him in the past ten minutes, he sat down next to us as well. Nat made her way towards the front door and before I could stop her, she was already out of the house.
"Great ..." I mumbled sarcastically and rubbed my eyes. "... I guess she doesn't wanna see me slip your throat."
He didn't say anything for a few moments just as if he was preparing himself to say something.
"I'm sorry Emily." He said and by the sound of his voice it sounded like he actually meant it.
"Yeah well Cap that's about two years too late." I said with clear and determined voice and tried to stand up, but he stopped me by putting his hand on my shoulder.
I glared at him but sat back down anyway.
"Look. I thought that by not telling you about your parents, I was sparing you. But... I can see now that I was really sparing myself. And I'm sorry. Truly sorry. And I'm sure if Bucky was here-..."
"Well he's not. Thank god." I quickly interrupted him and blankly stared in front of me.
Steve chuckled sadly. "We both know that you don't actually mean that. And before you interrupt me once again. Yes, I am sure about that. How? Because I've seen the way you two look at eachother." he explained carefully. He knew that right now I was like a bomb. One wrong word and I would explode.
"Well that was before I found out that he killed my parents. Which is not the actual point since I know that he didn't have a choice. It would've all been different if he just told me. I never judged him for anything he did in his past and I never will. But I will never forgive him for letting me believe that it was just an accident when he knew exactly what happened." I explained while silent tears streamed down my cheeks.
Steve took a deep breath. "You have every right to feel that way. But please know that Bucky would never intentionally hurt you."
"Except when he threw your shield at my head which resulted in me not having my vision back to what it was ever again." I added with no emotion in my voice.
"You know he didn't do that on purpose, right?" said Steve and raised his eyebrows.
"No actually I don't. He never told me that. But it's not like it matters." I shook my head and scratched the back of Sprinkles's neck which has become a normal thing for me to do to calm myself down.
Steve didn't say anything else so I looked up at him and spoke up again. "So ... why do you need me?"
"We need as much help as we can get. Since Tony is gone ..."
My eyes widened. "What do you mean by Tony is gone?! What the hell Steve?!... Tony is completely fine!" I almost yelled in disbelief.
"You ... You don't know?" he asked and scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Spaceship in New York?" he questioned just as if saying this will ring a bell in my head.
I slightly closed my eyes and tilted my head while staring at him for at least five seconds.
Then I slapped him.
"What the hell Emily?!" he said immediately, in shock and stood up.
"Oh shit sorry. I thought it was just a dream. Actually not sorry ... you deserved it. But anyway. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY TONY IS GONE AND THERE'S A SPACESHIP IN NEW YORK?! I AM IN NEW YORK!" I shouted the last part and stood up as well.
"If that calms you down, it's not in New York anymore." Steve said quickly, took a step back and raised his hands in defence, just in case if I decided to use any kind of violence against him. Again.
"DAMN ROGERS TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED TO TONY?! I TALKED TO HIM A FEW ... HOURS AGO AND HE WAS TALKING ABOUT SOME DREAMS ABOUT HAVING A KID OR SOMETHING AND NOW YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT THIS WAS ACTUALLY AN ALIEN?!" I yelled and when I finally stopped, I needed to catch my breath.
Steve narrowed his eyebrows. "I ... I don't know about alien and the kid but as far as I know there might be a chance that Tony was on that spaceship."
I rubbed my eyes stressed before looking at Steve again. "But you're gonna help him, right?" I questioned. "RIGHT?!" I added a bit loudly when his face expression didn't give the answer I wanted to hear.
"Things are ... much more complicated than this." he replied as he tried to stop Sprinkles from licking his hand.
"Then stop speaking in your secretive dramatic way and tell me everything." I said and crossed my arms, expecting all the answers.
Steve took a deep breath, leaned on the wall and started explaining about some stones, a purple creature named Thomas or something and Vision getting something out of his head ... I don't know. My lack of concentration has not changed, actually since the hit at the back of my head it actually got even slightly worse.
"So ... you in?" Steve asked and gave me a hopeful smile.
"Why? For the moral support? Just for your information ... the last test with Snellen chart showed that my vision acuity is 20/80. And according to the opthalmologist it's not going to get better. I mean, I'm glad that it got so much better since it was 20/200 but you know... And before you ask, no, I cannot wear glasses." I explained and made a small pause, just in case if he wanted to say something.
"I didn't know it was that bad." He said and shook his head.
"Well it is ... So tell me Rogers, is there really a logical reason to take me with you? I can't shoot, I can't throw knives like I used to ... I'm not an Avenger anymore." I said and at the end I could hear my voice crack slightly.
"You are able to distinguish faces, right?" Steve asked for confirmation. I nodded.
"Well that's enough to recognise the enemies. We will figure something out." he said with an encouraging smile. "I promise you won't have to fight if it won't be necessary. But it will be good to have another great fighter with us." Steve added when he noticed my worried expression.
"Damn I hate you and your speeches so much." I shook my head.
"But still. I can't go. I'm not leaving Sprinkles. He's my family now and he needs me." I added but deep inside I knew that it was actually the other way around. I was the one who needed Sprinkles. He was with me whenever I needed someone.
I lost the person who's hug used to be my safe place, my comfort. And having Sprinkles was the closest I ever got to feeling that again. He wasn't just a dog. He was a friend that understood me, no matter how silly that may sound.
"Is that the only thing keeping you from going?" Steve sighed.
I nodded since I assumed that it was a perfect reason to not go.
Well I was wrong.
...
"Wow you really put a lot of effort on staying unnoticed." I said sarcastically when we got out of the house and I realised that the jet was parked in front of my house, on the main road, just as if the road wasn't actually meant for cars.
"We didn't think it would take so long." said Steve, scratched the back of his head and looked over at the long row of cars, waiting for jet to be removed from the road.
"Well now at least you learned not to underestimate me." I said as we walked towards the jet. Nat was already waiting by the opened gates.
"Glad to see you joining us. Others can't wait to see you again." she smiled and nodded us to come inside.
I quickly looked at Steve. "Others?"
Steve shook his head.
I left out a relieved breath and walked in.
"Why's the dog here?" Nat whispered to Steve as they both walked behind me.
"It was the only way. And I think he really helps her so I couldn't say no." Steve explained quietly, probably trying to make sure I don't hear them.
"Since when are you so indulgent?" Nat chuckled slightly before walking away, towards Banner who was stressfully observing Sprinkles from the other side of the jet.
I rolled my eyes and kneeled down next to Sprinkles. "Be a good boy, okay? No troublemaking, I promise we will be back home soon." I whispered and then pulled him closer into a hug, before letting him go to explore the jet.
I smiled and then stood up to sit down on one of the seats.
"Look who's here." A familiar voice appeared from behind me.
"Bye Sam." I mumbled before taking out my phone and putting my headphones on to enjoy some music.
However, Sam casually took the headphones off of my head and sat on the seat opposite from me.
"I have a dog now. I will make him bite you." I said and tried to get my headphones back. Unsuccessfully.
Sam put them on the seat next to him before leaning his forearms on his knees and looked at me with a thoughtful look.
"You're scaring me." I mumbled since it was unusual to see him without his annoying smirk.
"Yeah I'm a scary man." He chuckled slightly before his face expression changed back to serious one. "Seriously Emily, how are you?" He asked like ... he actually cared?
"I'm ... fine?" I said suspiciously.
He just rolled his eyes. "C'mon I genuinely wanna know. We were all worried about you after ... you know ..."
"You were worried? About me? What got into you Wilson?" I asked and put my hand on his forehead.
"What are you doing?" Sam asked and looked up at my hand on his forehead.
"Checking if you've got fever cause you're saying some weird shit." I said and sat back. "... But it actually seems fine. You're not hot at all."
"Well that depends on person's preferences." He said and ... yep there it was, his annoying smirk.
"I wasn't talking about that kind of hot." I mumbled and kicked his leg.
"So what's the dogs name?" Sam asked.
And after that we just kept talking for the whole time until we arrived to Wakanda.
It was nice. Turns out Sam was not such a pain in the ass as I thought he was but don't tell him that I said that. I really appreciated that he didn't push about the stuff related to ... the past events, we actually talked about how I managed to redecorate whole house while being nearly blind. He told me some stuff about his family and that he has a sister.
He was also really impressed when I told him that I learned how to read Braille and even asked to help him learn it some day.
"What is it Sprinkles?" I asked and messed his fur as he put his paws on my lap.
"We're here." Steve said what Sprinkles was trying to tell me.
He and Steve got along very well and whatever Steve was doing, Sprinkles had to be by his side. When Steve was piloting the jet, I swear I could saw him talking to Sprinkles.
"I better still be your favourite." I mumbled and gave him a treat. When he licked my face I took that as a yes.
I left the jet after everyone else, holding Sprinkles collar so he wouldn't run off.
Bruce and Rhodey were walking in front of me. I chuckled slightly when I heard that Rhodey was convincing Bruce that he needs to bow in front of king T'Challa.
While Steve was talking to king T'Challa, I kneeled down next to Sprinkles to give him another treat since he was starting to howl like a wolf. "Please behave." I whispered, scratched the back of his ears and let him lick my face for one more time.
"A semi-stable, 100-year-old man."
My heart stopped when I heard that voice.
I looked up just enough to notice Steve sharing a quick hug with that same person who spoke those words.
"Fuck you Rogers." I mumbled quietly while letting out a shaky breath, not knowing what to do.