Hello mortals. It's me!
"..."
Oh sorry that's right you don't know me *sigh* Here. *throws government file I stole onto the table*
ＴＯＰ ＳＥＣＲＥＴ
(Actually, it's not and nobody really cares but I'm going to add it there for the full effect so SHUT UP)
Authors name: goes by Bear, Sasha, addressed as 'The Coolest Person Alive' and prefers "You're Better Than Everyone Else" (but will also respond to, Shasha, Sasha Bear, and Shasha Bear)
Right Now she is: w r i t i n g :(
Why the sad face you ask? Well, this was written 3,600 ft. in the air when I was in dire need of a bathroom and something to poke my ears out with.
Now you say, "Well Sasha, if you wanted to use the bathroom, there's one on the flight. USE IT"
and I will go on to tell you, "That's great and all, lovely to be honest. But the slight problem of 'Not using the bathroom on a flight or even touching your ears because dEaTh'."
I tried explaining to them that it's quite welcome but I could literally imagine my friends wringing my neck after they crashed my funeral so that thought was quickly dismissed...
not to mention the people who I have come on this flight with are currently abusing me into sitting in my seat and reading this from over my shoulder.
So yeah, someone please have a bear-shaped cake at my funeral.
Oh and, no tea is allowed. Only coffee. Sorry, not sorry. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #CoffeeSupremacy
Anyways, back to the Chapter (which I still need a better name for), the only thing you need to know about me is that I have serious iSsUeS as the people I've met tell me.
Probably from too much childhood trauma (WHAT. I'M SORRY THAT WEIRD WHATSAPP HEART EMOJI THAT FIRCKEN BEATS IS CREEPY. OKAY?), and most likely the internet.
Please ignore how I didn't deny the accusations.
Anyways, now that all of you know how cool the author is.
You there. Hurry up massage my feet.
The one who's pretty much nocturnal, bring me coffee.
Oh yeah and the one who's totally not April, you can go get me coffee beans.
This is pretty much the lif- NO NO NOT THAT YOU IDIOT *crash*
Why did you walk into a pile of potatoes, you fumbling fool?
*stressed inhale* WHERE'S MY COFFEE
― ᶘ ͡°ᴥ ͡°ᶅ
This is obviously the best book in the world, but check out HN I, II, III, IV, and V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, on -0WEN- , -notapril- , -greatatslouching-, -mxsummers, and Millie02468's profiles, which are almost (ALMOST) as equally cool.
K THANKS (now that I realize it should be you who's thanking me for writing this amazing book, but whatev)
bahhaha i'm so funny.
LAUGH AT MY JOKES.