A/N: Ha ha! Finally! This is the companion fic to "The One Who Makes Your Heart Race", and unlike the last one (that explored Langa’s side), this one explores Reki’s side. The only scenes that exist in both fics are the ones with Reki and Langa in the same scene. Just like with the last fic, this fic is post episode 9 and is canon divergent. I wrote the outline for this at the same time as the last one. I may know ahead of episode 9.5 now, but to stay true to these companion fics and the orginal outlines, this fic is not influenced at all by the events in episodes 10-12. This fic still contains the hopes and predictions I had before episode 10 originally dropped
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Since Langa passed him by during the beef, Reki has been focused on his phone, watching the end of it unfold. All other noises and sights have been tuned out until all that’s left are Reki and the video.
It’s been a while since Reki’s felt this way. It’s been a while since he’s had that nervousness, the kind that makes him sweat in anticipation of how a beef will turn out.
Is he going to win?
Reki knows Langa can do it--believes he can--but he just can’t stop himself from worrying about both the outcome and Langa’s wellbeing.
Reki’s tried. Since the day he broke off his friendship with Langa, left him standing there under the rain, he’s tried to tell himself that he’s free, that he doesn’t have to worry about Langa’s wellbeing. He knows there’s nothing he can do to affect Langa’s well being even, but he just can’t help it.
Reki sighs.
It sure is hard to stop caring about someone you…
He doesn’t even allow himself to think about it, shifting his focus back to the race.
Langa and JOE are toe to toe in the abandoned factory now. The seconds stretch out into minutes, the two cross the line, and the winner is revealed.
“Langa won,” Reki whispers to himself. “Against JOE.”
The beef is over, and the video on his screen switches to a visual that reads “Winner! SNOW”.
Reki’s hand squeezes tighter around his phone.
I don’t understand.
He was so worried about Langa earlier, and he’d gotten so worked up at the prospect of Langa giving up, but even though Langa just won, Reki’s not smiling.
“SNOW won, dude!”
“Maybe he might win against ADAM!”
“He just might!”
Reki turns off his phone.
Langa won. But I’m not happy at all.
That ever present ache Reki’s felt since that day he left Langa in the rain grows.
My friend won, but I can’t be happy for him.
What am I doing in a place like this?
Reki bites his lip as tears begin to well up in his eyes.
I get it. I was just frustrated.
The first tear cuts a trail down his face, falling onto the ground at Crazy Rock, but everyone knows how hard it is to stop crying once you’ve started. More tears quickly join the first, staining the ground.
I...don’t want to cheer others on after all!
Before, Reki thought that the problem might’ve been that he was in the wrong place. He can’t catch up to Langa--can’t skate by his side like ADAM can--because he’s just not good enough. He can’t compare, so that means he’s just meant for support, right? He’d entertained the idea that maybe his place was to cheer on Langa and the others, fix up boards, and make them instead.
Sure, it’s true Reki enjoys creating boards--especially his own--and he can enjoy standing on the sidelines as a cheerleader, but that’s not all he wants for himself. He’s just found out that being a support character just isn’t enough to make him happy, to make his heart race.
He came here to Crazy Rock today to support Langa, but he can’t even be happy for him.
Reki squeezes his eyes shut, hanging his head, and holds his arms at his sides as the tears continue to fall.
I wanna be skating right next to you!
But it’s a selfish thought, isn’t it? He wants to skate right beside Langa because that makes him happy, makes his heart race. He knows that.
But I’m not good enough. I’m not worthy.
If I skate beside you, I’ll hold you back, won’t I? I’ll keep you from skating against people that really make your heart race.
Reki’s heart aches harder.
I’ll leave, so you can be happy.
Reki pulls the hood of his green hoodie back over his head, and he looks down. He shoves his hands into the hoodie’s pockets as he walks in the direction of the gate that leads in and out of Crazy Rock.
You can just pretend...that you never saw me here in the first place.
The sound of the horn, signaling the start of another beef, the crowd’s cheering, all sounds go in through one ear and out the other. He doesn’t have it in him to care, no matter how “rad” the beef might be.
Two men stand outside the gate, guarding the Crazy Rock entrance. Each wears a red cap that covers their head and shades their faces, an olive green jacket, black pants, and black sneakers.
When Reki passes through the gate, he doesn’t think twice before reaching up to remove a pin from his hoodie. He stops to the left of the man standing to the right and faces him, holding the pin in his hand out to him.
The man faces Reki, holding a hand out to receive the pin. “Is that really alright?” he asks Reki, as if to say, “Are you sure you want to do this?”
Reki drops the pin into the center of the man’s outstretched palm, and the light from the tall lamp behind the man glints off the pin. The pin is gold painted, rhombus shaped, and has a stylized red and white “S” painted in the middle of it with a cupid’s arrow piercing through the center horizontally.
It’s Reki’s badge, the very same one he uses to get into Crazy Rock, the one that gives him the privilege of skating S.
“It’s okay…now.” Reki answers, walking away from the man at the gate, and away from Crazy Rock.
I won’t hold you down anymore.
Reki’s mind blanks. He doesn’t think of a single thing all the way to his house, letting his feet guide him there.
When he arrives at his house, he climbs in through his open window and makes sure to close it carefully, so as to not wake his family. He lets himself fall face up onto his bed after kicking his shoes off, not caring to take his hoodie off. So he curls up under his sheets after pulling the hood down.
Reki fishes his phone out of his pocket and turns it on. He scrolls though his photo gallery after unlocking it, beginning his nightly ritual.
Since that night, the night of the day Reki tried over and over to reach that star--the one Langa had reached so effortlessly--Reki has rewatched all those videos he's taken of Langa, just before going to bed. There are a few silly ones sprinkled in between--videos of Langa eating food or Reki making him laugh or smile by making weird faces behind the phone camera--but most of them are videos from when Reki first taught Langa to skate.
Of course, these videos make his heart hurt worse. Each smile is a sting, and each “Reki” that comes out of Langa’s mouth is a stab.
“I did it! I did it, Reki!”
“Why are you always taking videos of me?”
“Stop it, Reki.”
“That was good, right, Reki?”
“W-well… We’re friends, right? Reki?”
“Reki, watch this!”
“Reki.”
“Reki.”
Langa…
Reki lets his phone drop into his sheets, and he stifles a cry.
Selfish. I’m so selfish.
Tears well up in Reki’s eyes, and he curls up further under the sheets. Tears begin to soak his pillow, but he doesn’t dare let his cries go unregulated, otherwise he’ll make too much noise.
Reki can’t bear hearing Langa say his name like that, because Reki’s name always sounds good on Langa’s tongue. Langa says his name like it’s one of his most precious possessions, like he’ll hold it close to his heart and keep it safe, and that makes Reki even more selfish. He’s selfish because he wants Langa, because he wants to be near him, wants to skate with him, wants to see him smile and laugh again, wants to keep him all to himself, wants to do so many things, but he’s sure that’s not what Langa would want.
He wants...to skate with someone so good it makes him excited, and that person’s not me. I want what I don’t deserve...
Reki’s face hurts, burns, as pressure builds up in his face from trying to regulate his cries and keep the sound low.
The pain causes more tears to fall from his eyes. He thinks about Langa as he cries, until he finally succumbs to sleep.
~
“Hey~! Big brother~!”
“HEY!”
“BIG BROTHER!”
“...Whaaat?” Reki groans, struggling to open his eyes. He manages to open them enough to make out the figure at his bedside.
Ugh.
“Finally!” the figure at Reki’s bedside--his sister, Koyomi--throws her arms in the air and lets them fall back to her side. "You having bad dreams, big brother?"
"What?"
Koyomi sighs, shaking her head. "Don't you know what time it is? To wake up this late you have to have stayed up way late."
What does she mean?
She places her hands on her waist. "What I'm asking you, big brother, is if you've been staying up real late to avoid bad dreams."
Reki scrunches up his eyebrows as he sighs, pulling the covers over his head. "What're you talking about? Isn't it...just morning? Can't I…" he yawns, "get more sleep?"
"Of course not!" Koyomi yanks the covers off of him, shaking her head. "You're gonna be late to school if you don't get up!"
"And why do you care?" Reki sighs, sticking his head under his pillow. "What's it to you if I'm late?"
Koyomi puffs out her cheeks as she begins to walk out the door. "Excuse me for caring, jerk. Maybe sometimes I feel like being a nice sibling." She yanks the door shut, and Reki sighs.
I really don't want to go...
Reki really wants to melt into the bed until he becomes one with it, so he doesn't have to move and doesn't have to be known. He almost falls back asleep lying there, but just as he nods off, his mom yells for him.
"Reki! You're gonna be late!"
Reki groans, begrudgingly rolling out of bed. He doesn't bother showering. He doesn't even bother putting on his headband--much less comb his hair--just sticks it in the front pocket of the green hoodie he fell asleep in. Part of it is because of how exhausted and how terrible he feels, but the reason he doesn't at least go to the bathroom to brush his teeth is because he doesn't want to see himself.
Reki knows he looks pathetic. He knows that if he looks in the mirror he'll see the bags under his eyes and his permafrown, and he knows he'll feel worse if he looks at his reflection.
After pulling his backpack on, he walks slowly in the direction of the front door.
"Did you eat breakfast?" his mom asks when he passes by the kitchen, and Reki nods.
"Yeah."
It's a lie. Reki continues to walk, but before he can completely walk past the kitchen, his mom stops him again.
"Wait, Reki!"
Reki pauses, turning his head as his mom shuffles over to him, holding a box wrapped in dark blue cloth, patterned with white flowers.
"Your bento!" She frowns as she holds it out to him, and Reki’s eyes shift from the bento, to his mom's face, before he fakes a smile.
"Thank you." He takes the bento in one of his hands, making sure to deposit it in his backpack on his way to the front door.
"Hurry, son!" she calls.
On the way out the front door of his house, Reki catches his skateboard--which is currently leaning against the wall beside the front door--out of the corner of his eye. He hasn't touched it in forever--not since the day he gave up on reaching that graffitied star--and not once since he stopped has he actually considered skating again. He almost just continues to walk out the door, but in a split second decision, he grabs the skateboard on his way out.
As Reki hops on the skateboard, taking to the sidewalks, he decides he's definitely not going to school. He can't even think about going. He's felt like skipping from the moment he got up out of bed, and he would’ve stayed home too if he wasn't afraid of worrying his mom.
Not like Reki would’ve been able to make up a good excuse or act like he's actually sick anyways, so at least since he still left the house normally, his mom won't know he's skipping--hopefully.
However, Reki has a second reason for wanting to skip school. After last night's beef at Crazy Rock, the last thing Reki wants is to run into Langa. He's been avoiding him before now, yes, but Reki doesn't want to see him. He feels terrible. He's sleep deprived and depressed, and if he sees Langa now, not only will he feel worse, he'll lose to his own selfishness.
The one thing Reki really wants is to skate with Langa again, and he knows he can't have that. So today, his plan is to completely avoid Langa, in hopes that getting used to being alone and staying out of Langa’s sight will keep the separation easy for both of them. Reki has no plans to fix his relationship with Langa, not while the truth remains that they're not a good match, and that he'll only drag Langa down.
The muscle memory that guides Reki through his morning school day routine takes him skating to "the spot".
"The spot" is just a place at some sidewalk beside a tall pole where Reki meets Langa each morning before they skate off to school together. However, in the school mornings following the night Reki broke off his friendship with Langa, Reki has been almost halfway there before he remembers that Langa might be there, and so he takes a detour on his way to school to avoid "the spot". He even takes a different route to school altogether just to avoid Langa. Sometimes Reki remembers and manages to run immediately to school, but most times he has to take a detour after forgetting.
It dawns on him that he's almost to "the spot" when he's halfway there, but he doesn’t take a detour this time. There's no need for him to since school will be starting soon anyways.
Reki spots "the spot" before he makes it there, but his eyes widen, and he finds himself taking a sharp turn onto a side street. He stops just behind a building at the corner.
What's he doing here?
Unexpectedly, standing at "the spot" is Langa.
Besides the fact that he won't be going to school anyways, the other reason Reki had no problem skating to "the spot" was because Langa would likely be long gone by the time Reki got there. Reki got up and left the house late this morning, so he was sure that Langa would've already left to make it to school on time, yet here he is, standing right there!
Does he...wait here for me every morning still?
Sure, in the days following Reki breaking off their friendship Langa has been arriving at school late, but Reki hadn’t thought it would be because Langa still waits for him here!
And that revelation causes Reki’s heart to really ache.
He knows I won't be there so why… Why does he still wait for me?
Reki waits at the corner, still hiding behind the building, until Langa pulls his phone out of his pocket, and starts off in a wobbly run.
And that solidifies it. There is no time for second guessing himself now that Langa’s gone and school is about to start, so Reki skates over to "the spot", and he stands there after hopping off his board.
Reki stands there at "the spot" for a long while before eventually stepping back on his skateboard again. He doesn’t perform any tricks or go anywhere in particular. He just skates aimlessly around town, his brain dipping in and out of emptiness and being lost in incomprehensible thought.
Sometime in the afternoon, Reki eventually stops to pull his phone out of his pocket, checking the time.
It's about lunch time isn't it?
This time, as Reki pushes back off on his skateboard, he has a clear destination in mind.
~
Reki pushes open the door as he enters Dope Sketch, head hung.
"Reki?" Manager Oka sits at the desk in the back, eyes widening.
Reki doesn't even make an attempt to hide from him, to pretend he isn't just skipping school, because Manager Oka already knows.
Reki's had issues before, days he'd skipped school and took a breather in the Dope Sketch Workshop, and never once has Oka outed him. He never tells his mom, and he never makes Reki leave. Only once has Reki ever asked why Oka is so lenient, and he answered, "Teenagers will be teenagers. You know the shit you're going through. You know what you need, and as long as you're not doing something terrible, I'm not gonna judge you for taking a day off."
From knowing Reki long enough, Oka knows better than to pry too hard into Reki’s issues, so when Reki passes by the desk in the back he only asks, "Are you okay, Reki?"
Reki looks up at Manager Oka for a moment, sees the concerned look upon his face, and drops his head back down once he sees his own reflection in Oka's eyes. Nearly as much as he doesn't want to see Langa, Reki doesn't want to see himself. He doesn't want to be reminded of how pathetic he looks.
"I'm fine," Reki replies, sighing. He averts his eyes. "Don't worry about me."
Manager Oka crosses his arms with a sigh. "You never mean it when you say it. I know there's only two reasons you'd skip."
Reki ignores him, opening the back door to enter the Dope Sketch workshop, but Oka's right.
Reki only ever resorts to skipping school when gets especially excited about something--such as teaching Langa to skate--or if he feels especially terrible. Just by looking at him, it isn't hard to guess which it is this time.
But Reki’s depressive episodes always pass, right? This time will be no different. Just like when he lost his ex best friend, he'll get over losing Langa--at least somewhat. He'll get used to distancing himself eventually, and he won't have any problem being alone.
Reki’s heart aches, and he sighs out a small whimper as he falls onto a stool at one of the workbenches. He pulls his backpack off his shoulders, sets it on the stool at his right, and lays his head in his arms on the workbench. He closes his eyes as he yawns.
Maybe Reki won't fall asleep, since it's much too late to try, but he at least tries to take deep breaths. He tries to merely exist in the calmness of the room, keeping his mind blank, but from time to time the front door of Dope Sketch opens or bits and pieces of conversation filter through the closed door of the workshop.
After who knows how long, Reki’s stomach rumbles and he groans in frustration as he opens his eyes, turning his head on its side. He tries to ignore his stomach as his eyes roam what he can see of the room, passing over skateboard parts, stacked packages, and stickers on the wall, but the longer he sits there, the more his stomach hurts him.
As much as he doesn't want to move, a boy's gotta eat, and his stomach hurts worse since he skipped breakfast this morning. He sighs as he reaches for his bag, trying to open it without moving his head off the desk. He fiddles with the zipper, managing to open it by straining his arms--which ends up taking more energy than it would've if Reki had sat up instead. He reaches inside for the bento his mom gave him, but he's unable to reach it, so he sighs. He grits his teeth as he braces himself. He waits one, two, three minutes even, before he finally bites the bullet and sits up.
Reki lifts his head off the workbench and reaches into his bag again, drawing out the bento wrapped in blue cloth. He sets it in front of him before untying it, letting the cloth fall to the table surface. He slowly opens it before removing the chopsticks.
The food inside is nothing out of the ordinary, and contains one of the usual meals his mom packs--infused with her love, of course. Part of him is just relieved as he takes his first bite. The food is good--as usual--and at least his stomach will stop bothering him.
Reki props his left elbow up on the workbench and rests his chin in the palm of his hand while he slowly eats. Part of him is bored, so bored, but he prefers a blank mind than the alternative.
At some point, when Reki looks down at his bento, he lets out a laugh. It's almost strange, and Reki finds himself taken aback.
It's been a while since he let out even the smallest laugh, and just as he wonders what could've triggered it, his memories whisk him away to the roof of his school.
Multiple memories play back in Reki’s head of him sitting against the wall, legs crossed as he stared at his bento. In each memory, Langa sat in front of him. Maybe he asked about Okinawan culture or listened as Reki talked about anything to do with skating, but many times Langa would point at his bento, eyes sparkling.
"Can I try some?" he would ask sometimes.
"If you don't want it, can I have it?" he would ask other times, a half eaten sub sandwich already in hand.
And sometimes Reki would frown, tell him to eat his own food, and other times he would giggle. Sometimes he would tease Langa, calling him a dork with a black hole for a stomach.
As the memories of Langa’s face and his own giggles fade from his ears and from his mind, Reki’s hands fly up to his heart, where he clenches his fingers into the fabric at his chest.
Don't think about him.
His heart aches again, and, desiring a blank mind once more, he shoves his thoughts away. He attempts to clear his mind of Langa as he finishes his food.
Maybe eating was a bad idea...
He still finds himself bored, needing something to do to pass the time after pushing the empty food container away, so he pulls his sketchbook out of his bag. He lets it fall onto the work bench and pulls it open to a random page, far at the end of the book so he doesn't run into old skating sketches and doodles.
He sits there for a while, tapping his head with the end of the pencil he'd grabbed, trying to figure out what to draw. Eventually, as he stares ahead, he loses himself in space. His brain is blank, he's not really even registering what he's doing or his senses, but he presses the pencil to the page regardless, doodling subconsciously.
At first, he fills the page with various spirals, doodles of stretching vines, lazy flowers, and even just scribbles. Eventually, he turns to the next page, functioning on muscle memory, and continues to doodle.
After a while, Reki snaps out of his daze, pulls himself out of space, and he shakes his head. He groans a little, finding that his mouth hurts, but it quickly registers in his brain that he'd been smiling the whole time.
But why was I...?
Reki’s eyes widen in realization once he picks up the sketchbook, and he groans, stifling back a small cry as his heart twists. At the same time, his face heats up, flushing in embarrassment. Even so, he flips back through five pages before he ends up back on the page he started on--the one filled with random doodles.
Reki's doodled five pages--five--full of Langa. There are many sketches of Langa’s expressions. There's his indifferent, emotionless face, his determined face, the face he makes when he gets excited with Reki about something, and there's even that face Langa had made at him--the sad, broken face he had as rain poured down upon them, and Reki broke their friendship.
Besides Langa’s expressions, there are multiple doodles of little Langas. Reki had even doodled the Yeti on the bottom of Langa’s skateboard.
The most embarrassing doodles, though--the ones that really make Reki’s heart twist and his cheeks heat up in embarrassment--are the doodles of little versions of him and Langa, skating together.
It's obviously a dream, a wish from deep down, but he knows it can never be.
He's going to skate with someone worthy. Not me.
Having had enough, Reki looks away, turning back to a blank page as he drops his pencil.
It truly is embarrassing. Reki has been avoiding Langa more than usual, even skipping school in an attempt to distance himself. He's supposed to be forgetting about Langa--letting Langa forget about him--and getting used to being alone, and yet…
Every day Reki’s been at school since he broke off his friendship with Langa, he's done the same thing in class: doodle Langa without realizing. He always realizes he's done it after the fact, and he finds himself frantically shutting the sketchbook, hoping Langa didn't see, as he blushes in embarrassment. What would Langa have said if he knew Reki still thought about him?
It doesn't matter. In any case, again Reki’s subconscious thoughts have drifted to Langa. He has half a mind to tear out the pages he's just drawn in, to ball them and toss them away so he can try to forget--at least for now--but he just can’t for some reason.
He can't.
So Reki shuts the sketch book and shoves it in his bag, along with the container from lunch and the piece of cloth that was tied around it. He pulls his bag right over his shoulder and takes a glance at the clock.
Shit. School's almost over.
Reki rushes out of the Dope Sketch workshop and past Manager Oka. "Thanks for letting me hang," he whispers on the way past, making a beeline for the door.
"Wait, Reki!" Oka stops Reki, who freezes in the doorway of Dope Sketch's entrance, holding the door open with one hand.
Reki turns his head back to look at Oka.
"You're welcome, kid," Oka sighs. "Just be back in time for your shift, got it?" he reminds him.
"'Kay. I will." Reki gives a nod before facing ahead and starting out of the shop again.
It's a lie, and Reki knows it.
~
Reki sits atop a quarter-pipe ramp with one leg hanging down, and the other hugged to his chest. He stares out at the expanse of ocean ahead, where the sun is dipping below the horizon.
It's beautiful how the oranges and reds of the sunset color the clouds, how they contrast with the dark blues of the night sky, but Reki can't even fully take it in.
He's at the very skatepark where he first taught Langa how to skate. Again, no matter where he goes, all he can think about is Langa.
But then again, he did this to himself. He just had to come here.
He can only sigh, and his heart aches as the view of the sunset reminds him of when Langa had performed his first ollie.
It was a breathtaking sight, and watching Langa had given him nostalgia of the time he'd performed his first ollie.
Reki hadn’t known he liked Langa then, but he never could fully explain the way his heart stopped when he witnessed Langa smile like that, hair flying up around him. Even the very sun haloed Langa as he ollied right in front of the sun.
Langa is beautiful, Reki knows, and not just objectively.
Reki sticks his hands in his green hoodie pockets as a mild wind begins to blow, ruffling his hair. The sun is gone, and only the stars twinkle above in the night sky, the full moon hanging high overhead.
Of course, even the presence of the stars makes him think of that graffitied star--the one he knows he can never reach.
"Reki!"
Reki’s head whips in the direction of the voice, and his eyes widen as they lock onto a person standing at the foot of the quarter-pipe ramp.
Langa...
No. Why is he here?
Reki really doesn't want to see him. He slides down the quarter-pipe ramp, and he stands up only a couple feet in front of Langa.
Reki’s heart aches seeing Langa just feet in front of him, smiling like he's found something, and he turns away. "You should leave," he tells Langa, voice emotionless.
"Reki!" Langa shouts from behind him, and Reki can hear a bit of desperation in his voice.
"You shouldn't be here. You should be getting ready for the next part of the tournament."
You shouldn't be here with me.
"I can't."
Reki sighs. "Why not?"
What's keeping you from being there?
"Look."
Reki hesitates about a minute before he actually turns around. Does he really want to look at Langa? Can he handle seeing whatever it is he wants him to see?
Reki sees Langa’s face first--that beautiful face--as Langa’s smile fades.
"You're the only one who can fix it."
Reki’s eyes jump to the object in Langa’s hands. It's the Reki-L2S.
Broken.
Reki’s eyes widen as his mouth parts slightly. He almost can't believe it. The board he made for Langa--the board that had been through so much with the two of them--is broken, snapped right at one of the curved ends.
Reki’s eyes inspect the broken board all over as his heart begins to twist around itself.
It's not just there the board is broken.
He averts his eyes. "Just...get a new board, then," he suggests.
You use any old board. You don’t need mine.
"No." Langa shakes his head. "It needs to be this one."
Oh, right.
The realization slaps Reki across the face.
The Reki-L2S was special made. He can't just buy a skateboard tricked out the same...
But…
"If you need it tricked out the same, I'm sure you can ask someone else to do that. You don’t need me," Reki tells him.
I'm not the only person in Okinawa who can build a skateboard. As long as he knows what he wants, anyone else could.
"You don’t get it." Langa shakes his head again. "It has to be this board, because you made it for me."
I… But… But I…
When Reki says nothing, Langa adds, "I don't want any other board than the one you made for me."
Reki turns away from Langa again.
You don't. You don’t. You don't need me. You need to leave.
There's a tinge of annoyance in Reki’s voice when he speaks. "You'll need to join the others soon. Get someone else to make a new board. Leave. Me. Alone."
"But…" Langa’s voice is sad, and it makes Reki’s heart twist itself up into knots.
He doesn't want to make Langa sad, he never does, but Langa has to leave.
You have to leave. Skate with people worthy.
I don't want to keep dragging you down.
"You need to go to the tournament so you can skate with ADAM, right? He's a skating genius, just like you. You guys are special, worthy adversaries of excitement."
Nothing like me.
Reki turns his head down, clenching his fists as tears well up in his eyes. "There's nothing...special about me. I don't deserve to-" he stops himself.
There's no point in telling him that. In the end, it won't matter when he leaves.
"Leave, Langa," Reki says, sounding so tired. He's struggling to sound so indifferent now that he's trying so hard not to cry.
If you won't, I will.
He takes a step away from Langa, but just as he does so, Langa grabs his arm.
"Reki, I want to skate with you! On that board!"
That's the last straw. Reki loses his hold on his face, and the first tears cut trails down his face as he turns back, ripping his arm out of Langa’s grasp.
No!
Reki lowers his head and his arms shoot back down to his sides, fists still clenched tightly. He stumbles for words, "You- I- We don't… You don't know- Wh-why can't…"
Reki goes silent.
There has to be some way to get him to leave! Some way!
Without meaning to, he thinks to that night in the rain, when he broke off his friendship with Langa. At the time, Langa was suggesting breaking their promise, and Reki knew he didn't get it. Langa hadn't taken the promise seriously, and he didn't understand just why Reki had him make the promise in the first place.
And in that moment, Reki almost confessed. He needed a reason, something to get Langa to get it. Reki cared about him, yes, but that wouldn't cut it. Langa already knew that. So Reki almost yelled to him, "Do you know just how much I love you?"
The part of him that began to speak without thinking hoped that by telling Langa that, Langa would change his mind and understand just why Reki couldn't bear to see him get so hurt.
It hurts to see someone you love let themselves be hurt, when it's the last thing you want for them, does it not?
But the rational part of Reki had him stop part way through, because he was about to confess something he'd been holding inside. He just couldn't confess to Langa like that, because he didn't want to ruin what they had. He didn’t want Langa to think weird of him.
It was like he was lying. He had feelings for his best friend, and telling him when he probably didn't feel the same would ruin everything.
And it didn't matter anyways, right? Reki would leave. He would leave Langa alone to climb higher. He would stop dragging him down, and Langa would never have to know what feelings Reki secretly held for him.
If I have to ruin everything to get you to leave me behind, then so be it.
Sadness, annoyance, and anger pervades Reki's voice all at once as he confesses, "Back then, when I broke off our friendship, there was something I almost said, but I don’t have a reason to keep it secret anymore."
Reki turns his face back up and faces Langa, staring directly into his eyes. He grits his teeth as tears continue to fall. "I love you, Langa."
Langa’s eyes widen, and Reki lowers his head again with a chuckle. "That's it. You can leave now. You wouldn't want to be friends with me now, would you?"
You must not want to spend another second with me, right? A deceitful friend with secret feelings for you?
Langa takes a couple steps forward, closing the distance between him and Reki.
What is he…?
"Reki…" He says the name like it’s special, and when Reki’s heart skips a beat, he still can’t deny how much he loves the way his name sits on Langa’s tongue. It doesn't sound like Langa’s talking about him--someone unworthy. Rather, Langa says his name like he's talking about a hallowed being, like it's the most special word ever known.
Langa’s left hand flies to Reki’s chin, tilting it up, and his right flies to Reki’s cheek, cupping it tenderly. He strokes Reki’s cheek with his thumb while Reki just stands there, not knowing what to do next.
And how can he? The one he loves is this close, defying all expectations. Reki was sure his confession would ruin them, but instead it brought Langa even closer.
The smile on Langa’s face blooms into a loving one, and tears begin to well up in his eyes.
How can he be both…?
Langa begins to lean in, closing his eyes, and Reki goes stiff. Reki’s eyes only widen as Langa presses a kiss to his lips.
Then, Langa draws back for just a second, only to come back and kiss Reki again.
For just a moment, Reki’s eyes begin to close. Langa’s lips are freezing cold, but they're so soft. His beating heart tells him that this is all that he's wanted.
But in the end, Reki never kisses back, and his eyes never shut.
This isn't right!
"Ugh!" Reki shoves Langa away, sending Langa stumbling backward a few steps. "Langa!"
Langa lowers his head in shame, biting his lip. "Reki, I'm so sorry. I shouldn’t've-"
"Just stop!" Reki interrupts, yelling at him. "Why are you here? Why aren't you skating ADAM?"
"Because I love you, Reki!" Langa answers. "I want to skate with you! Not ADAM!"
"Don't. Just, stop." Tears begin to fall from Reki’s eyes again. "Don't force yourself just 'cause you miss me or something. I'm not worthy."
Langa lifts his head back up, and a single tear falls from his eyes. "But Reki, I'm not-"
"Save it. I know I'm not good enough to matter as your friend. You've found better people, and that means we both should move on."
Why don't you get it? Why won't you leave?
"Reki, please. Let me explain to you. I want to prove to you-"
"And what will that solve? Why should I listen?"
"Because…" Langa takes a deep breath, and more tears fall from his eyes. "I want you to explain to me too. There are things I haven't said, haven't asked. I know you're the same."
Reki bites his lip, averting his eyes.
Don't. Don't convince me.
"Reki, I don't want to lose you… Please…" Langa looks at Reki like a wounded puppy, and Reki’s heart constricts.
So badly Reki wants to run again, since Langa won't, but Langa is so sincere. The sadder Reki has to watch him, the more it hurts, and here Langa is.
Begging for Reki to just listen.
And Langa isn't wrong either. There are other things besides the confession Reki has been hiding. In the end, when he'd broken off their friendship, there were things left unsaid, things he didn't explain to Langa that he can't say he doesn't feel a little guilty over.
Finally, Reki sighs, "I… Okay…"
Langa and Reki both sit down at least a foot apart from each other on a bench in the tiny skatepark. It's a wooden bench close to the railing, making it the perfect place to look out over the sky and sea.
"So? What?" Reki breathes, and Langa sighs.
"Reki...I want to say sorry first for whatever I did to hurt you, and for breaking the promise. It was my fault…" Langa lowers his head, but he continues on. He explains how discovering skating brought his excitement back, the excitement he hasn't felt since his dad died. He explains how he's become more and more enamored with skating, and how he originally thought it was due to the thrill he recieves when he skates against a wonderful opponent.
"I wanted to skate with ADAM again," he explains, "because I started to believe it was skating with him that made me feel different, more excited maybe." He explains how he hadn't understood why Reki thought ADAM was so dangerous, but never thought to ask. He'd wondered the whole time why Reki didn't want him to skate against ADAM, and he was sure it wasn't because of the injury, because that's just part of skating.
"Then, that night under the rain… I thought...that if I could explain everything to you--explain why I wanted to skate against ADAM--assuage your doubts, then you wouldn't mind if the promise was broken. But I don’t think I understood just how much keeping me from skating ADAM meant to you, so I was surprised when you left. When you said...we weren't a good match…"
Then, Langa explains the decrease in his excitement to Reki, how he came to learn while Reki avoided him that he was missing something. It had slapped him in the face during his beef with JOE that his excitement doesn't come from skateboarding for the sake of skateboarding. "When I came to look for you, after the race, I even saw ADAM. He praised my skills and told me I'd be able to skate with him. He called me his 'EVE'."
Reki grimaces, face contorting in disgust.
He did?
"But despite the praise...ADAM doesn't make my heart race either. I have the chance to skate with him, he holds me so highly, yet it still doesn't make me excited." Langa looks straight into Reki’s eyes, and Reki can’t help the way his breathing slows, the way a light blush runs across his cheeks. "It took me a while to figure it out. It took you leaving me and my mom's help before I realized. During my beef with JOE, it was seeing you that brought my excitement back."
"Reki, you make skating exciting for me. I want to skate beside you again, just like we used to."
Reki tries not to cry again after Langa’s little speech, and from the way Langa’s lip trembles, he can tell he's doing the same.
I brought his excitement back?
He wants to skate beside me?
After about a minute or two of silence, Reki sighs. "I guess that means it's my turn…"
Reki starts out by explaining how happy he was to teach Langa how to skate, to become his friend, and to have someone he could bond over skating with. He explains how before he found excitement with Langa, Reki was mostly alone, and he frequently almost arrived at school late.
Then, Reki explains the beef with ADAM. He'd heard from JOE that ADAM was dangerous, but Reki hadn’t thought he was that dangerous. Not until he'd skated ADAM himself had he understood, and now ADAM scares him to his very core. "I-I can't explain why or what exactly but…" He takes a deep breath. "I just knew he was dangerous, and I just wanted to keep you safe."
Even if you didn't care about what could happen to you, I did.
"I know you said you'd never quit, but I still didn't want you to get hurt. I hoped a promise would be enough, but I couldn't justify making you stay away from ADAM. And when I found out why I was so adamant about keeping you safe, I knew I couldn't tell you." Reki goes on to tell Langa about how he never particularly cared about the growing gap between their skills, but more and more often he heard everyone pointing it out, and he couldn't shake that feeling that Langa would leave him behind.
"I don't feel...like I'm worthy… With everyone's comments and how you got hooked on ADAM...I thought that you would leave me behind if I couldn't compare to you. And when I found out I wouldn't be able to close that gap...I decided it would be better if I left, so I wouldn't drag you down."
"I cared too much about you to watch you get seriously hurt, but I couldn't stop you, and more than anything I wanted to skate beside you, but I knew you'd be happier if I wasn't dragging you down."
Reki turns to Langa, giving him a sad look as he apologizes, "I'm sorry I acted like I did, and that I didn't tell you about it."
Langa smiles at Reki, and Reki's heart squeezes.
"...Maybe, we should make a promise," Reki suggests.
"About what?”
“Let’s promise...to talk to each other. Tell each other about those things.”
Because I don't want this to happen to us again.
“Okay.” Langa nods, and the two scoot closer to each other till they're sitting only inches away.
Langa holds his hand up to prepare for their handshake, but Reki lets out a small laugh before he smiles.
“Did you know...there’s another way grown-ups do it?”
Langa’s eyebrows scrunch up in confusion, and part of Reki wants to laugh again.
I have to be smooth. Smooth...
Reki leans forward, reaching for Langa’s shirt collar. He watches as Langa begins to blush, his face reddening as Reki’s fingers grip his collar, pulling him close.
When Reki’s lips meet Langa's, the constant coldness of them freezes his own lips. His heart begins to race as he kisses Langa, as he pours out all that longing, all that pining, into the kiss.
I miss you so much.
I miss you.
Part of him can't believe it--that he's right here, kissing Langa.
Reki’s fallen in and out of love before. It broke his heart when his ex best friend stopped skating altogether, left him, but he moved on. He'd gotten crushes on people in his class too, but those too passed as time went on.
And now, Reki’s in love with Langa. It's a feeling he hasn't really felt since he learned to skate together with his ex best friend, and he's glad it’s Langa he feels it with.
Langa--the one person right now that makes Reki feel so good. He's someone amazing, and he wants to skate with Reki.
Though, Reki has to admit that this is his first kiss, but he still wouldn't have it be anyone else.
Reki feels the cold seeping through the skin at the center of the back of his neck, just where Langa’s placed his hand. Langa pulls Reki even closer as his fingers bury into the bottom part of his hair, playing with the strands.
Reki too reaches a hand behind Langa. He reaches it up under Langa’s shirt, smoothing his hand across the ever cold skin of Langa’s back. Reki’s warm fingers dance across Langa’s back, and he can feel Langa shudder under his every touch.
It’s unreal how many times Langa and Reki miss each other’s mouths when they go back in for those shorter kisses. Each time they miss, Reki giggles at Langa’s mouth, causing Langa to smile right at Reki’s. In the end, it's the passion and the longing behind the kiss that counts, and Reki’s never felt so fulfilled in his entire life.
When the two finally pull apart, both end up wiping their faces with their sleeves, and Reki giggles, scooting closer to Langa. Reki wraps his arms around Langa, enveloping Langa’s cold with his comforting warmth.
For a moment, Reki feels Langa's body tense up against him, but then he melts into Reki’s touch, just like ice and snow does under the sun. He embraces Reki back, burying a face in his shoulder.
I missed you too, Langa...
The two just sit there, embracing each other, as if they're trying to make up for all the hugs and affection they missed out on after Reki broke off their friendship.
It's a comforting feeling to hold and be held back by someone you so adore.
It's a while before Reki and Langa stand up from the bench, but they hold each other's hands when they do, interlacing their fingers. The two of them walk for about a minute before Reki remembers something.
The board!
Reki begins to run, pulling Langa out of the skatepark.
"R-Reki?"
Reki turns back to Langa, a large smile upon his face. "We're going to fix your board."
~
"And...done!" Reki yawns loudly. "Langa, over here! Look."
Good as new! Like it never broke in the first place.
Reki turns to look up at Langa as Langa joins him at a workstation inside the Dope Sketch Workshop. His heart warms as he takes in the way Langa’s eyes widen, the way his lips part a smidge, and the way his eyes begin to sparkle as he looks over the newly fixed Reki-L2S.
"Reki…" Langa turns to Reki, and Reki's heart squeezes as Langa gazes at him lovingly. Langa leans in, planting various kisses across his right cheek and up to his nose. He presses a few final, short kisses to his lips for good measure, leaving Reki’s face a hot bright red.
"You're amazing, Reki." Langa has stars in his eyes as he looks at Reki, and Reki scoffs, his heart squeezing harder.
"You're the amazing one, Langa."
Langa shakes his head. "No, Reki. You're always the most amazing to me."
If Reki could blush any more than he already is, then he would. He laughs nervously to mask his embarrassment as he picks up the Reki-L2S and shoves it into Langa’s arms.
Once Reki manages to calm himself, he pulls his phone out of his pocket to check it, suddenly remembering the tournament.
S has its very own super secret website that was given an update just for the tournament. It already gave spectators access to the cameras around the track before the recent update, allowing them to see beefs in real time, but the update adds a polling feature where people can guess the outcome of the beefs, and a screen where you can check the tournament standings and current beef pairings.
"You should leave," he sighs, frowning a little, as he looks up at Langa. "You'll miss the window to get into S."
Langa shakes his head, and Reki looks back at his phone again. He taps his phone a number of times, navigating to the secret S website, before looking back up at Langa again.
"Langa, what if you’re paired up with ADAM for the first beef today? Wouldn’t you want to make it in time to skate with him?"
Truth be told, Reki just read the current pairings in the tournament. He knows Shadow is up to skate ADAM next, but there's something he just has to know for sure.
Langa sinks into thought, and Reki waits, fidgeting with nervousness. One minute stretches out into an hour, and the fear creeps its way into Reki’s heart.
What if he…?
Langa’s face flushes suddenly, and he smiles softly. He walks over to Reki, taking his hand in his, causing Reki’s own face to flush. "No."
Reki sighs a relieved sigh as he slides his phone back into his pocket. He makes sure to grab his own skateboard as Langa pulls him out of Dope Sketch.
"I want to skate with you tonight," Langa says, setting his board down as he lets go of Reki’s hand.
And I… I want to skate with you...
"You're my happiness, Reki." Langa smiles.
Reki smiles back at Langa as he sets his own board down on the ground. "And...you’re my happiness, Langa."
The two boys step on their skateboards and push off. Once they're able to cruise, the two draw closer on their skateboards, and when they finally get close enough, the two reach for each other's hand, interlacing their fingers.
"You're fine skipping the tournament, tonight?" Reki asks. "Even if it means you're disqualified?"
"Reki." Langa narrows his eyes at him.
"I know, I know… But what about supporting our friends?"
Is this really okay?
"Tomorrow." Langa’s eyes relax, and he smiles a soft smile. "Tonight, I want to skate beside you, more than anything."
It's one of the most sincere things Langa has ever said, and Reki knows it to be by the way it makes his heart squeeze.
I want that too.
Reki leans close to Langa, crossing the short distance between them, and he presses a kiss to Langa’s lips before leaning back again.
"I love you," the two whisper at the same time.
The giggles of both Reki and Langa echo through the night as they skate the streets of Okinawa.
Right now, I want to skate with you forever.