Zen
2 months later
"Do you want to take Tommy to school or do you want me to do it?" I asked Dawn as she begin to pack a lunch for Tommy.
"I'll take him" she said rubbing my back.
It's been almost a month since granny died and I've barely stepped foot out the house since.
Today was Tommy's first day back to school after Christmas break and I figured today would be the perfect time to leave, but I guess not.
The fact that she died only weeks before Christmas was what hurt me the most. This would've been my first Christmas with something like family again and I couldn't even get that.
I felt like my heart had shattered in my chest, and I couldn't put together the pieces. This death almost hurt me more than mama's.
The only good thing was that Dawn was here now so I could have a shoulder to cry on. It wasn't so bad, but it still hurt.
She didn't take the death as hard as I did, so she did all the heavy lifting around the house, while I mainly just moped around.
"We're about to go." Dawn said, rubbing the side of my arm. She gave me a small hug before walking out the room.
I feel like this death hasn't just been taking a toll on my emotions, but my body too. I was cramping and my back and head were hurting a lot lately, and I've also missed my last period.
I cuddled up in my bed and decided to take a quick nap before Dawn returned. I was really tired even though I had literally woke up like an hour ago.
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I woke up to a loud banging on the front door and another banging in my head. I groaned in pain and then sat up only to feel more backaches. I hurried to the door only to see it was King.
I slowly opened the door and looked at him. He looked a little less than happy, and he looked like he was about to punch something.
"Hey" he mumbled, pulling me in and kissing my lips. I slowly kissed him back and then pulled away quickly.
I haven't seen him too much this week which was really upsetting.
King was another person that was there in my time of need. He was hurt by the death too, but he put his feelings aside to tend to mine. I felt kind of bad, but he wanted to be all hard and shit so I just let him.
After what happened before my birthday things had been different. We were always kissing and touching and calling each other little pet names. We also had sex again at least twice. We were basically together I would say, but it's more of an understanding than an exclusive thing.
I don't really know if he's seeing anybody else, but I sure hope not, because it would hurt the hell out of me.
"What's wrong babe?" I asked, standing to the side and letting him in.
He huffed before proceeding to tell me about something that Kane messed up with some drug stuff.
I had a hard time listening because this headache was killing me and I was starting to get a bit dizzy.
I was nodding and trying to listen, before I started losing my balance. King caught me before I could fall, but it was scary.
"You straight?" He asked catching me and kissing my forehead.
"I don't know. I haven't been feeling well lately" I admitted.
"Not feeling well like how?" He asked.
I told him about all the little symptoms and about my period and stuff. I'm assured him that it was because of the death and my body was just reacting with my emotions though.
He let out a deep sigh and then quickly grabbed his keys and left the house with out saying anything. I wanted to chase after him and ask him where he was going, but I just didn't have the energy.
I decided to call him instead. "Hello?"
"I'll be back Zen, just don't leave" he said before hanging the phone up quickly.
I sighed and then slumped down on the couch.
Moments later the door opened, but it was only Dawn.
"You feeling okay?" She asked, carrying a load of groceries to the kitchen.
"Yeah. King is just acting weird" I mumbled.
King and Dawn still didn't quite like each other, but they put up with the other's presence because of me.
I tried to keep them away from each other though. Whenever Dawn was at work or something King would be here and then when King was gone Dawn was here, but some how they always seem to run into each other.
They were always cordial and nice to each other, even if they didn't want to be though.
"I don't know why you even mess with that big headed boy" she laughed, as she began to put the groceries away.
"I like him" I whined. She shook her head and kept on laughing. I rolled my eyes and helped her get the rest of the groceries.
King returned when we were all finished with the groceries and Dawn was making breakfast.
He had two brown paper sacks that were almost full.
"You hungry King?" Dawn asked, when he walked in the kitchen.
"Nah I'm good" he mumbled before pulling my arm hard as hell out the kitchen and into my bedroom.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" I asked rubbing my arm from the soreness.
"I gotta tell you something, but you can't trip aight?" He said.
I nodded and then prepared for the worse. I just knew he was about to tell me that he had another hoe running around here somewhere that he was entertaining. I could feel it.
Before he could even speak the tears were falling from my eyes. The way he was rubbing his hands and the nervousness on his face just said it all. He was about to leave me.
"What chu crying fo ma?" He asked, pulling me into a hug. He kissed the top of my head and rocked me in his arm.
"Don't cry. Please don't cry ma. It's going to be okay" he whispered into my ear. I wanted to believe him, but I just didn't feel like hearing any bad news.
"I just don't want you to leave me. Please don't leave me King. I need you. I'm sorry for being so sad all the time. Just please don't leave. Please" I mumbled into his chest.
He pulled away and looked at me with confusion.
"Is that what you think I'm about to say?" He asked raising an eyebrow.
I nodded my head and wiped the tears from my eyes.
"Zen I been in this shit this long and you really think I'm about to just up and leave you? Especially in one of the hardest parts of your life? Hell no. You my girl, and you know that" he said, pulling me close again.
That was the first time that he had actually said I was his girl and I had to admit it felt good.
"Okay" I mumbled. We hugged for a few more moments before he let me go and sat on the bed and sighed.
He rubbed his face in frustration and my fear grew all over again. What was he about to say?
"Remember the night before your birthday a little while ago. You came over and we uhh..." He trailed off and I looked at him and nodded slowly. I had never seen him this distraught, he looked like he was about to shit himself.
"Well I was so into that shit that I forgot to um use a co-condom" he strutted.
My eyes widened and I begin to hyperventilate. I could barely even catch my breath and I was pacing just thinking about what he was getting at. This couldn't be true.
"Are you saying that I could..." I trailed off and widened my eyes at him.
At the same motion he nodded slowly and let his head down. This news was almost worst than what I thought it would be.
"Me? Pregnant? Are you fucking kidding me King? Please tell me you playing. I'm so serious" I screamed.
He started stuttering again and I knew that it was true. I couldn't do anything but pound my fist on his chest and let my tears fall again.
He quickly too control of me and sat me on the bed. I was so angry and shocked that I didn't even know how to react anymore.
"We won't know for sure though if you don't take the tests" he said pouring the contents out of the bag onto the bed.
I sighed and nodded. He was right. I can't stress over this. If I was pregnant I just had to accept that fact and try and cope with it.
I grabbed every box, which was about six different ones and slowly walked into my adjoined bathroom.
After I took each of them I went back in my room and sat down beside King. His head was down and his face held no emotion.
"I'm sorry" he mumbled.
"It's okay King. I'm not mad" I whispered. It was partly the truth. I wasn't really mad at him that much. It could've happened to anyone and it was as much my fault as it was his.
"You not?" He asked surprised.
"No. It's as much as my fault as it is yours. I can't really be mad at you" I explained. He nodded and then looked down again.
We sat in silence for a good five minutes before I decided to go in and check what the tests said.
"You wanna come with me?" I asked, stretching my hand out. He stood up with me and we slowly walked into the bathroom.
Just as I had figured every test had said positive and I couldn't help but cry again. King held me in his arms as I weeped like crazy.
"I can't raise a baby King. I just can't. I'm barely eighteen. I'm still in school. I'm not even emotionally stable. What the hell do I look like raising a damn kid?" I asked crying in to his chest.
"You know I'm here" he mumbled. "You ain't in this shit alone."
"You don't want to abort it?" I asked without thinking. All my life I had been against abortions, but when you're on the other side of the fence it's not really a bad idea.
"I would say yes, but you know you don't want to do that. I can tell you don't." He mumbled.
He was right. He was absolutely right. I would feel even worse if I knew that I had taken an innocent child's life because of my dumbass decisions. It would hurt me way worse and all my life I would wonder 'what if'
King kissed my forehead and we sat on the bathroom floor in silence, just thinking to ourselves.
I was pregnant.
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😪 There you have it. Zen is pregnant.
I'm sad to see this book end, but I'm excited to see a new one start.
It's been about a year and a few months since I've started this book and I'm happy to say that I've grown from this book a lot on WP.
Please comment and vote y'all. Information about the next book will be coming soon.