I was laying on my back, staring at the ceiling, when the sun rose the next morning.
My mind still reeling, I kept replaying those intimate moments over and over in my mind. I couldn't sleep until I understood how everything had happened so quickly...
How did we go from agreeing we didn't need to be around each other to me giving Luca a hand job twenty-four hours later?
I was mortified.
It took everything within me to get out of the bed that morning and venture downstairs.
Was it going to be awkward now?
You thought it was awkward before, I reminded myself.
To my great displeasure, Luca was sitting at the kitchen counter when I went downstairs. He sat shirtless, facing away from me with a cup of coffee in one hand and an iPad in the other, scrolling through the news.
I wanted to turn and run back up the staircase as quickly as I could.
He hasn't seen me yet. Maybe he doesn't know I'm standing here, I thought.
"Morning," he said, still staring at the iPad.
I wondered briefly if I had spoken my thoughts aloud before I returned the greeting.
"Good morning."
I walked over to the stove to find my cup of tea was already waiting for me, still steaming.
Awkwardly picking up the mug, I took a seat at the countertop, sitting as far from Luca as I could.
We made eye contact briefly as he turned to watch me sit down.
Luca flipped the cover over the iPad screen and placed it down on the countertop.
"I'm going to the training fields this morning," he said, taking a final swig of his coffee. "You're more than welcome to join."
He got out of his chair and walked past me to put his coffee cup in the sink.
"Not sure Fallon's going to let me punch stuff while my hand's messed up," I muttered.
Luca walked over to me, reaching into his pocket.
He placed my comb on the counter in front of me.
"You've still got one functional hand."
...He did not just say that.
Speechless, I stared at his bare back as he walked away.
"Leaving in twenty," Luca called behind him, still walking towards his bedroom.
I finished my tea quickly and went back up to the loft to change.
Throwing on running shorts and a sports bra, I grabbed my tennis shoes before going back downstairs.
I could do with a long run.
Luca came out of his bedroom as I was attempting to tie my hair into a ponytail.
I quickly dropped my hands, not wanting to appear like I needed anymore help with my hair. I had already decided that I would deal with tangles for the next four weeks.
"Ready?" He asked.
I nodded and followed him out to his truck.
We rode in silence all the way to the training fields. When we arrived, I saw Fallon's car in the parking lot.
Can't wait to explain this to her, I thought, looking down at my splint.
She was already standing behind Luca's truck when I got out.
I smiled sheepishly.
"What the hell?" She asked, hands on her hips.
I saw Luca stop on the other side of the truck to watch the exchange.
"Do you not follow advice well?" She asked me, pointing at the splint. "What's the point in me teaching you if you're not going to listen?"
Luca cleared his throat.
Fallon shook her head and took a deep breath.
"I thought we discussed that you don't punch someone dead on?" She said as she pinched the bridge of her nose, her voice calmer now.
"I've learned my lesson," I assured her.
She sighed.
"Well, did you kick his ass?"
"I mean, I guess?" I said, looking at Luca to determine whether it would be inappropriate to admit the guy was dead.
"How bad is it?" Fallon asked as she walked over to inspect the splint herself.
"Four to six weeks," I told her.
"Is that the mandated time or just recommended?"
"Mandated," Luca answered for me.
She shrugged.
"We can do more cross training and legwork for the time being," she said. "Shouldn't be an issue to start on kicks as long as we get your balance right this week."
Wonderful.
"I just want to run today," I told her.
"Everything alright?" She asked as she turned her back to Luca, her voice getting lower.
"Didn't sleep well last night," I answered shortly.
Fallon hummed.
"Let me know if you need a break," she said. "I've got a comfortable couch if you need a night or two."
I smiled.
"Thanks."
Sighing, I held up my hair tie.
"Could you help me pull my hair back?"
Fallon nodded and took the tie.
"Do you want me to braid it so it will stay longer?"
I nodded.
As soon as she had finished yanking every strand of hair in the braid out of my scalp, I rubbed my head slowly.
Sure it will stay longer, I thought. I won't be able to get it out of the braid.
Fallon looked down at her watch as we walked towards the field together, Luca having disappeared a few minutes earlier.
"Three miles in less than thirty," she told me, getting back to her drill sergeant tone.
"That's impossible. My pace per mile is ten and a half," I argued.
"Might better work on that unless you want to do squat reps and lunges for an hour."
I groaned before walking away, towards the path that circled the field.
Looking down at my watch, I tapped at the screen to start recording my warmup.
"You don't stretch?"
I turned to see Luca walking up behind me.
"I walk to warm up my legs," I said, dropping my gaze back to my watch.
"You'd probably be a bit faster if you stretched."
I shot him a hard stare.
"Just saying," he shrugged.
As I turned to walk away, I heard his feet following me down the gravel path.
I stopped and turned to him.
"Are you running too?" I asked him.
"Yes."
"Could you find another path?"
His eyebrows furrowed.
"No. The last time I let you go off running by yourself you ended up with broken bones and I killed someone."
I tried to protest and Luca held up his hand.
"This isn't an argument you're going to win, amore," he told me.
He walked over to where I stood, smirking.
"So, run along. I'll be sure to give you a good smack on the ass if your pace slows down."
I rolled my eyes and turned around, beginning to walk into the trees where the path extended out in front of me. Walking in silence for a few minutes, I started my watch and finally began my jog.
For a while, I thought maybe Luca had turned around.
I couldn't hear him running behind me.
It wasn't until I reached a mile and a half and turned around that I saw him jogging a few hundred feet away.
For a brief moment I thought that I had outrun him. But then I remembered that would likely be impossible, making me realize that Luca had intentionally given me the space, which I was grateful for.
I put my head down and ran back in the opposite direction.
By the time I had reached the clearing, my lungs were burning. It felt like my sports bra was a corset.
With legs like noodles, I finished my run and laid down on the grass with my hands above my head.
I couldn't tell if my shorts were soaked with sweat or the morning dew I was laying in. Either way, it was a cool relief from the warm sunshine.
Closing my eyes, I took a few deep breaths. When I opened them, I saw Luca standing above me.
"Did you even break a sweat?" I asked.
He smiled.
"It's just a warm up, remember?"
I shook my head, still trying to catch my breath.
"Maybe for you."
He sat down next to me, putting his elbows up on his knees.
I had a feeling he wanted to talk, but before he could say a word, I heard Fallon.
"How long did it take you?" She asked, yelling across the field.
I looked down at my watch.
"Thirty-one," I answered, groaning.
"Squat reps and static hold lunges it is," she said, waving me over.
I mocked her with a high pitched voice before standing to my feet.
Wordlessly, I left Luca sitting on the ground.
I felt a tinge of guilt, but left it behind as I wandered over to where Fallon stood on a mat.
- - -
Taking a shower when we got home was a workout in and of itself.
My legs were shaking and ached every time I leaned over to grab the soap.
I almost fell when I reached out to grab the towel from it's hook. Groaning, I dried myself off and tucked the towel under my arms as I emerged from the bathroom into the bedroom.
I was surprised to find Luca sitting on my bed, pulling the towel tighter around me as he stood up.
He stumbled over his words as he laid eyes on my towel-clad body.
"I-um..." he started, rubbing the back of his neck, "I have some stuff that I need to get done this afternoon. I just wanted to let you know I was leaving. I probably won't be home until late."
I nodded.
"That's fine."
Luca watched my reaction slowly and I realized I may have sounded too happy to hear he was leaving.
Giving me a lingering gaze, Luca backed away towards the door.
"I guess I'll see you later, then," he said.
I nodded again, following him.
Our eye contact didn't break until I had closed the door.
Sighing, I dropped my towel and began to change. I made my bed and cleaned up the room a bit before I went downstairs to find that Luca had already left.
Taking a seat on the couch with a book I'd been reading, I groaned internally.
This is ridiculous. I'm sitting on my ass when I could be working, I thought.
It was this mindset that put me in a bad mood for the rest of the afternoon.
Later that evening, Norah stopped by as I was making dinner.
She hugged me as I opened the front door for her.
"Teriyaki chicken?" I offered, walking back into the kitchen where the chicken was simmering in the frying pan.
She shook her head.
"Actually, I came by to see if you wanted to go to shopping with me in Missoula tomorrow?" She asked, taking a seat at the counter. "It's about four hours away, but I figured we could make a day of it."
"Absolutely," I answered, nearly cutting her off. "I'm dying to get out of this house."
Norah laughed.
"I figured that was the case," she said. "I could see it on your face yesterday."
"I'm so bored," I admitted, placing the lid on the steaming rice. "I went from working two jobs to sitting around all day."
"What did you do?"
"I was a part-time elementary school art teacher and a librarian," I said. "Not glamorous, but I loved it."
Norah smiled.
"What grade?"
"First," I answered, going back to stirring the chicken in the frying pan.
"I know of someone who could use some help with kids around that age, if you'd like me to check with her?" She offered.
"That would be perfect," I said, cutting off the burner and turning to face her.
Norah nodded.
"I'll give her a call," she said. "I'm sure she'd love an extra hand. The twins used to go over sometimes, but they're not very consistent."
"Anything to get me out of here for a few hours a day," I laughed.
Norah gave me a sympathetic look.
"Do you hate it here?" She asked.
Her question took me off guard.
I hesitated to answer, shaking my head after a few moments.
"No, it's... just an adjustment, I guess."
She looked at me like she knew I was lying. I wondered briefly if Luca had put her up to asking.
Turning back to the stove, I scooped some chicken, rice, and broccoli over a plate.
"Are you sure you don't want anything to eat?" I asked her.
Norah shook her head, standing from her seat.
"No, but thank you. Ben was cooking tonight, so I have dinner waiting for me at home. I'll see you tomorrow, then?"
I nodded, smiling.
"Good," she said. "I'll pick you up at eight."
"I'll be ready."
I followed her to the door, closing it behind her.
Letting out a long sigh, I walked back into the kitchen, Norah's question still heavy on my mind.
I don't think I hate it here, I thought.
It was then that I realized it didn't matter if I hated it in Montana or not. I certainly couldn't go home.
He's ruined her. I'll kill him. I'll kill her.
Feeling a chill run down my spine, I closed my eyes and shook my head in an attempt to try to forget those words.
But they filled the dead silence around me.
Picking up Luca's iPad from the countertop, I opened it up to play music.
I ate my dinner listening to the melody of Bon Jovi, hoping that each chord and chorus would drown out the threats of my father that resounded in my mind.
I sat at the counter for nearly an hour after I had finished eating, just staring at my empty plate and the dirty pots and pans on the stovetop.
When I finally stood up from my chair, I cleaned up and looked at the clock.
It was still early in the evening, but I could feel my body begging for sleep. Giving in, I went upstairs to change into my pajamas and go to bed.
I woke up at some point in the middle of the night to the moonlight streaming in through my window, shining down on the carpet.
Laying there for a few moments, I got up to go downstairs and get something to drink.
As soon as I opened my bedroom door, I screamed.
My father stood outside the door, walking in slowly as I tripped backwards in fear.
Landing on my butt, I crawled backward, watching him stalk into the room after me.
"You're okay," he told me. "You're going to be okay. Just stay away from him. It will all be okay."
My back hit the side of the bed, preventing me from backing away any further.
"What are you doing here?" I whispered, staring at him in horror. "How did you find me?"
He knelt down in front of me, taking my face in his hands.
"It will be okay, I'm on my way," he cooed.
My eyebrows furrowed.
Why is he saying he's on the way? He's standing right in front of me...
Even more confusing was what I noticed as we stared at each other: his eyes were blue, but my dad had always had brown eyes.
"Who are you?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
He smiled.
"I'm on my way."
My body jolted up from the bed.
I looked around the dark room from where I sat on the bed and saw that my father was nowhere to be found and the door was still securely shut. The curtains were pulled tightly over the windows, preventing the pouring in of moonlight.
It was just a dream.
I stood up and pulled my soaking wet tank top over my head.
Drenched in sweat from the nightmare, I grabbed a t-shirt from atop one of the boxes and threw it over my head. I realized it was Luca's as soon as I caught the scent that lingered on the fabric.
I didn't realize I had been crying until I went to the bathroom to rinse my face with cold water.
Ignoring my puffy eyes, I left the bathroom and went downstairs.
As I grabbed my glass of water from the fridge, I heard the door open and close.
I peered around the corner cautiously to see Luca walking inside, a backpack hung over one shoulder.
He stopped as soon as he saw me.
A few moments passed before he took a step forward. And then another.
Pulling the strap of his backpack from his shoulder, he set it down on one of the barstools.
Luca watched me closely and I knew he could tell I had been crying.
I found myself putting down the glass of water and walking over to where he stood. Wrapping my arms around his torso, I hugged him tight.
I felt his hand press gently against my back as he pulled me into him closer and then the another hand moving to hold my head against his chest.
"Are you okay?"
I pulled back, the tears returning to my eyes.
"It was just a dream," I whispered, sounding more like I was trying to convince myself than I was Luca.
"Do you want to sleep in my bed?" He offered.
I hesitated, but eventually nodded.
Luca wiped a tear from my cheek and lifted me into his arms.
I felt like a baby as he carried me out of the kitchen and into his bedroom.
But I had also never felt safer.
- - -
Aw, okay they're kinda cute.
He's slooooowly redeeming himself, but he needs to step on it a bit quicker.
What do you guys think? Let me know in the comments!! And don't forget to vote!
I'll see you tomorrow, same time! (8:30am EST, New York time)
MaybeManhattan .x