Tangled up in problems of life and living in twisted way is a weird way to live by humans In search of life, We nearing death day by day .some has little pain ,some has more , some of us cope of with pain silently and some of us cope up with it aggressively .
But one thing is for sure , everyone is suffering . Everyone is hustling, everyone is dying hundreds of death before death daily .I have my own problems,my own hell ,and my own way to cope up with it
I moan in pain as pressed my forehead and lightly rub it against wall banging it lightly time to time , it was a way for me to calm down my wild thoughts and stormy emotions .
I again had a drink and sleep at the mart last night it's getting embracing .
Why I have to this way ,why my life has to be like this ,?? Why I always have to put extra efforts in everything still I can't achieve them where as other people don't even put efforts and got everything ?
I feel like a robot , waking up doing same shit ,I didn't took psychology for this . I didn't took this Subject to make it my cage .it supposed to heal people but why It is constantly giving me wounds ??
I frustratedly threw the file I was gripping in my hand across the floor and groan rubbing and banging my head little harder as I scream in frustration
It's one thing to feel negative emotions and it's another thing to control them ,because people expect that you should control them , to live to expectations of human Is really tough ,it's like eating the food someone else choose for you for the rest of your life
Just because I am psychologist, it doesn't make me immune to pain , the pain which arouses in heart and burn my body from inside , it hurt so much like my own heart is eating me alive from inside , even with that pain I have to smile , I have to smile and show no negative emotions because I am a goddamn psychologist and I should be perfectly mentally fine .
As I said everyone is in hell , this makes no expectations for psychologist , we are also human , I am also human I also have my issue which no one is ready to solve , spending whole day asking People', how are you ' is frustrating because no one ask me that , when I come home tired as hell , so tired that I can't even cook and sleep empty stomach ,no one ask me how I am
And when these rich spoiled brats come to my clinic , showing how big of a mental. Pressure they have because there parents sending them to paris instead of London
It Gets on my nerve , I just want to choke them to death right there , but hey , I am psychologist , I should have empathy. I should understand things from there perspective, maybe watching big Ben is more fun then watching a metal structure, what we call it ?? Oh Eiffel. fucking .tower , yeah it must be depressing
I also never wanted to shift Spain but here I am all way from America, running away from everything
"You can't just keep banging your head in corner" a voice came , I slowly removed my head from wall , and looking towards the source of sound ,
"Now pick up the file and go to your cabin ", my senior Dr.Richard said , the file , the stupid file , a file of bio data of another rich spoil brat , who literally would have no issues
"Why I keep getting assigned to these kind of patients" I said crossing my arms on my chest "because you know ,how to help them " he said calmly , his brown hairs was neatly covering his forehead , as his sky blue eyes was cold , his face was pale white with no beard , a long neck, perfect jawline and full lips , he was fairly attractive human , I would definitely try on him if he don't assigned me to most stupid patients and make my already boring life more boring
It was frustrating , doing so much hard-working and still work as a rookie just because you are young and people have perspective that young people can't be your therapist because they are naive and don't have experience of life .they don't know one thing , life are harsh on some people, life teach them many things before they even know what life actually is , life is so harsh on some people that make them just stop living , that kind of people know a lot of things before even growing up .They learned the art of fighting with demons before even they learnt fighting for chocolate
But these people don't understand that's why they keep assigning me to cases of teenagers who don't even have genuine problem
"Yeah helping those , who don't even need help" I said looking at the ceiling trying to stretch my neck
"It's different this time " he said and I look towards him , he lick his lips to wet them , as he runs his hand across his hairs
he seems nervous by his body language, one of my habit to read people's body .I know it's creepy but it is talent
"What's different" I said casually picking the file ,
" the person in the file , is only heir of 'De León' empire he said and I swear the hairs on my skin stand ups " and he only wants you to treat his sonu" fatty
De León? The most richest and powerful business empire in entire Spain, since the time I shifted here from America I keep hearing about them , I even heard the are pretty powerful in overseas also
But the fuck the heir of De León doing here ? I scan the file in my hand as my hand tremble knowing that ,this belongs to a really important person
"He needs urgent medical attention or else whole De León empire will collapse" he said and I knotted my eyebrows in confusion ,
"You are being dramatic" I said with a huff as scan the file in my hand
"No, he is not " a powerful voice rang across the empty corridor of the hospital , The sound of shoes echoing through the corridor
My eyes slowly lift from ground only meeting with the huge group of man ,in expensive suits with Bluetooth attached to there ears , middle of them was a short , half bald man who was looking quite frustrated like me , his noses was flaring and his eyes was red with bags underneath them , he must be awake from days to be in this condition
" Stella , he is Mr .De León" Richard introduced me , and I raise my hand towards me with a bright fake smile , which I am habitual of
"Hello myself Stella , nic--" "My son needs help " he said in a serious tone cutting me off ,I pull my hands back slowly , bitting my lips and nodding my head , goddamn this is embarrassing
"He will make me rip my hair out" he said ,in a frustrating voice , I chuckled lightly and quickly covered it up by coughing as I caught him throwing draggers in my way
" Seeing your face makes me think you need help " I said , he glared at me , already done with my shit , he moved his head right to left in disbelief
"Can I talk to you alone " he asked or order I don't know what he but , boy I almost shit in my pants, he maybe short but he is scary
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Temperature of my room drop , because of presence of this man , he was playing with a paper stopper
My eyes roams around my small cabin , glaring at the light grey walls and aesthetic decor , it was nice a cozy place, everyone's mood automatically gets bright seeing it
"So ?" I tired to start a conversation " Twenty million dollars" he said , and I blink several times at him , " I will give you twenty millions dollars if you help my son from his mental health issues " he said in a plain tone , what kind of mental health issue he has , to make his father pay twenty million dollars , this must be a joke
"You. Joking right ???" I asked in disbelief turning my head to side ,but my curiosity got best of me , i want to know what kind of mental disorders he have which is this serious
I grabbed his file and turns the pages , and boy I just keep turning pages over and over again , couldn't stop myself to check every details
How this person is living ? With so many personality issues , the psychologist inside me was shouting at me to just help him cause he genuinely needs helps , while other part of me just saying don't get involved with someone so dangerous
" Borderline personality disorders, anger issue , Mood disorders , Bipolar , Sexual disorder, and most dangerous anti social personality disorder , goddamn your son is walking man , full of disorders" I tired to joke but that bald man got angered , I guess it's not his son's fault , it's in genetic
"Help him" he said " look ,sir I don't know what you think , but your son is far away from the stage of helping, he needs serious medical attention " I said " just do whatever you can , you have thirty days " he said grip the paper stopper tight
"If you succeed before that , I will double it " he said In a arrogant voice " but please genuinely help him ", he said this time with very gentle voice , bipolar human
, It's definitely in genetics
I think back to the day I took psychology as my subject , I swear that day that I will dedicate my life to people who is mentally disturbed because I lost my everything because of stupid mental health issue, that day I sweared to myself that i will help everyone, but no one like that came across who was genuinely dealing with things , who was actually broke , living in this condition made me like this , The frustration of not doing what I wanted to do made me this ,the toxicity in myself is eating me out , I can help others but who gonna help me ??? Who gonna listen to me and understand me ??
Well Stella it's not time to think about yourself, just think it as a opportunity, help this person and maybe by saving one life your burden from heart can be lessen , plus you will get so much money , you can live in better condition than this so it's a win win situation , just go for it
I took a shaky breath " I will try my level best " I said and a smile broke out on his face
"Then I will see you after thirty days Ms Stella " he said as he gracefully got up, his back was at me and a question pope's in my head
",Mr De León " I called his name , he slowly turned around ,his hands was in his pocket as he raised his eyebrows at me " out of all the psychologist , you chooses me , I am not even experienced " I said , he smile at me , almost making me creep because it looks like he is seeing right through me and he said
"Because you are the only one who actually fought from her demon on her own and survived "
He left the door open and my mouth Also hang open , what he was talking about?, How he know I fought with my demon, Or he just guessed? Whatever this was , it was Hella creepy , remind me again why I agree to do this ? Oh yeah bullshit psychology
My eyes fell on the file again , the name of my new client caught my attention
"Alwar De León" I mumbled to myself 'you must be in a lot of pain , your heart also feel like that it will be exploded anytime , you also feeling like ripping your heart because of the amount of pain it cause ? You must be suffering too much ' I thought to myself
Little did I knew that he going to turn into my worst suffering, that he going to be the biggest demon of my life , from which I won't be able to fight on my own and survive
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