The sun was bright and the refreshing atmosphere of the ocean felt romantic. Under a blue umbrella lays Laxus on a beach towel. There was one more towel next to him, only it was vacant. Laxus' chest was bare, glowing with a fresh layer of sunscreen on it. The only thing on his body was a pair of red swim shorts. A wave splashed against flesh, a cute giggle followed. Laxus propped himself on his elbows. He looked straight ahead and saw Freed making his way from the wet sand.
"Laxus! The water feels great!" giggled Freed as he waved at Laxus.
Laxus furrowed his brows, scanning Freed's slender abs. Droplets of water mixed with sand speckled all over his body. His ears instantly felt hot.
"Yeah well, I think I can live without the sand getting in places I can't reach."
"But I have so much fun cleaning it off of you!" Freed teased. "Guess you'll have to clean me now."
Laxus sensed his face grow red by the thought of cleaning Freed's body. Freed ran his hand through his hair, pushing his bangs to the back of his head. Laxus couldn't help but stare at his barely exposed forehead. Beads of water trailed Freed's cheek, down his jawline. Laxus followed one bead on top of his cupid's bow.
"See something you like?" Freed broke him out of his trance with a smirk on his face.
He's being extra flirty today.
"No... uhm" Laxus stuttered, "I mean yes-"
"I'm just teasing you." Freed sat down on the towel next to Laxus. He braided his hair and tied it to the side. He laid his head on Laxus' lap with a sigh of relief. "You're so warm," he said with his eyes closed.
Laxus pushed himself into a sitting position, being careful enough not to move Freed's head. He examined Freed's face. He brushed his fingers through Freed's wet hair. He smelled like fresh salt water. His knuckles rubbed Freed's cheekbone, barely grazing past the beauty mark under his left eye. It was the most intimate Freed and Laxus had been together. He noticed freckles starting to form on Freed's face.
"You know, you should have put sunscreen on before going out there" Laxus scolded.
"I did!" Freed opened his eyes to pout at Laxus, "After I covered you in sunscreen I put some on myself, but I just wanted to get in the water as soon as possible so it might've washed off."
"You're hopeless" Laxus cradled his head. He couldn't help but smile when looking at Freed. He felt happy. He was in his paradise. His sanctuary.
He gazed across the ocean, taking in the view. The sun began to set.
"Laxus."
Laxus looked down to make eye contact with Freed's sunburnt face. Only it wasn't there anymore. He lifted one hand up to find it was covered in blood. He felt his eyes go wide and his heart jump to his throat. When he looked down again Freed's face was pale, blood trailing down his mouth. They were back at the church.
"Laxus, I.. I can't... breathe."
"I know. I know Freed, just hang in there alright? We're gonna get you back to the guild and-"
What's happening? Why does this feel familiar?
"Before I die Laxus, I need to tell you something."
It was like static feedback from a television. Flashes of the beach would turn into the church. Freed's face would be smiling and sunburnt one second then pale and lifeless the next.
"Freed, stop. Don't say it."
They were in the church now. Freed looked up at him, both of their eyes were filled with tears.
They flashed back at the beach, "If you say it, it'll be real..." Laxus sobbed, "...it'll be real and this will be over. Can't we just stay like this forever?"
Freed cupped his face. The setting changed back to the church.
"Laxus, I need you to know.." Freed was confessing again as if he was ignoring everything Laxus was saying.
No no no. Please no. Not again. He was shaking his head, trying to change the setting back to the beach. To paradise. It wasn't working.
"... I love you."
Laxus woke up in a cold sweat, gasping for air. He touched his chest and felt his heart racing under the bandages. He looked outside his window and realized it was still dark. Must be a couple hours before dawn. He moved his eyes to his hands. There was no blood, no Freed. He held his face in his hands, barely holding in quiet sobs.
Laxus had the same dream every night for the next month.
****
Five months have passed since the incident in Moonlight. Laxus was physically healed, but his mental state continued to decline. Mirajane helped Laxus through the first month of his recovery since he was bedridden. She still stopped by his room to check in on him every week. It didn't do much for him. He hardly talked to anyone. He cut ties with most of the guild members. Evergreen would visit and talk to him about her day and what the rest of the guild was up to. She updated him on the Moonlight mission the guild was working on. She would bring up Bickslow, but since the day in the infirmary the two never spoke to each other again. Bickslow was almost the same as Laxus, only he would stop by the guild every now and then for information. Evergreen told Laxus that Bickslow was working on his own in the investigation of Freed's death. Laxus never responded.
Laxus' eyes were always bloodshot. His jawline was covered with a five o'clock shadow and his hair fell down over his eyes. He looked just how he felt. His room was scattered with beer bottles and trash. Laxus moved over to grab a new bottle of beer, snapping off the bottle cap.
At that moment Laxus' door slammed open. He almost dropped his bottle out of shock. Mira made her way through the door, her face was dark. Laxus watched her storm towards him.
SMACK
Laxus felt a sting at the side of his face. He didn't bother to look up at Mira.
"I am tired of playing nice. Everyone at the guild thinks you need to be babied, so here I was doing just that, but I'm tired of it. Get off your ass and get your shit together, now."
Laxus had seen Mira get mad before and he knew better than to test her limits. But he had never felt like this. He had no will to fight, clean, bathe, or even eat.
"Just leave me alone Mira" Laxus' voice was rough.
Mirajane scoffed, "Leave you alone?? If I would have left you alone you'd be dead."
"Exactly"
SMACK
Another sting hit Laxus' face.
"How dare you?" Mira could no longer hold back her rage. "I never want to hear you say something like that again. Freed saved your life and this is what you do with it?"
Laxus winced at the mention of Freed's name. He kept his head down, only now tears were dripping from his eyes uncontrollably.
"It should've been me, Mira. He was a much better person than I ever was. Why did he have to die? It should have been me."
Mira crouched down to make eye contact with Laxus, "I can't answer that for you Laxus." She took the beer bottle out of his hands and wiped the tears from his face, "Wait here."
She searched through drawers until she found what she was looking for. She walked back to Laxus with scissors and a comb.
"Look, I can't help you with the questions you have or how you're feeling, but I'll be damned if I let you leave this place looking like a hot mess. It's time for you to get your act together." Mira moved behind him and started trimming his blonde locks.
****
Laxus walked fresh out of the shower with a clean shave. He resembled his old self, with a loss of muscle weight due to the depression. His entire apartment was cleaned. Mirajane was making food for the two of them.
"How're you feeling?" Mira asked while setting the table with food.
"The same. Just cleaner" Laxus answered with little to no emotion.
The two of them ate the meal Mira cooked up and moved to the couch. Mira ran her hands through Laxus' slightly damp hair, while he stared blankly ahead.
"Thank you," Laxus broke the silence, "for cleaning up."
"Of course," she replied. Her voice was warm, comforting.
A few moments passed and Mirajane was still running her hands through Laxus' hair. The feeling eased Laxus. Laxus knew he would regret what he did next, but something in him couldn't prevent it from happening. He turned his head and moved towards Mira to press his lips against hers. Mira met his energy and the two were kissing with no patience left in them. Laxus shifted their bodies to a lying position on the couch. His hips pressed against hers.
Mira pushed him back, "Laxus, are you sure about this?"
Laxus looked back into Mira's eyes, his own still filled with sorrow. He pressed his forehead against hers.
"I just need to feel something. Anything."
Mira lifted his face, her fingers tracing over the lightning bolt scar over Laxus' eye.
"Okay, I understand."
It was true. Mirajane did understand what Laxus was going through. She went through something similar when she thought Lisanna died. She didn't want him to continue to suffer the way she did.
And like that, the two sought comfort in each other once again.
****
A couple more months went by, and Laxus seemed to be on the road to recovery. He started going back into the guild to grab drinks, where he would stay and chat with Mira until they closed up the bar. Everyone welcomed him back and continued on like normal. Only Evergreen would share information about the Moonlight mission and it was very little. He wasn't sure if they were purposely withholding information from him or if they really didn't get much intel on the gang in the last 9 months.
One night while having drinks at the guild, Bickslow walked in. He walked straight to the bar and sat two seats away from Laxus.
"Mira, can you tell master Makarov I'm here?"
"Sure, I'll let him know," Mira said back with a smile. She handed Bickslow his usual drink, then refilled Laxus' pint. Before leaving the bar, she caressed Laxus' hand for a minute. Bickslow noticed.
Moments after Mira left, Laxus noticed Bickslow staring.
"If you've got something to say, just say it."
Bickslow scoffed, "It didn't take you long to move on, did it?"
Laxus turned towards Bickslow, now glaring at the man he once called his friend.
"Excuse me?"
"Tell me," Bickslow began, "did you ever care about him? Or was he just a joke to you?"
Fury instantly filled Laxus. He stepped off of the bar stool and yanked Bickslow by the collar of his shirt. Their faces now inches apart.
"Don't talk about shit you know nothing about." Laxus said through gritted teeth.
"I know plenty." Bickslow yanked Laxus' hand off of his shirt and shoved him away. "I know that he loved you and you were either too much of a coward to admit you loved him back, or you strung him along because you enjoyed how he would stroke your ego."
Laxus didn't think before throwing a right hook into Bickslow's jaw. Bickslow stumbled back, holding his jaw. A bruise was quickly forming. This time Bickslow's fist met Laxus' face. The two continued to exchange blows, not even realizing the whole guild was trying to put a stop to their quarrel. It wasn't until Mira came back with Makarov that the two were forced to stop. Makarov used his magic to smash the two into the ground.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO IDIOTS DOING?!?!"
The entire guild went silent at Makarov's roar.