Olivia POV
I looked at my phone again, reading over her messages for the billionth time that day, one hand holding my phone and the other holding the tub of ice cream.
Apparently ice cream is supposed to help when I'm feeling like this. Broken, hurt, confused, ashamed, scared. But amongst all these feelings, I still find comfort in Mia's messages, even though she stopped sending them after a couple of days.
I ignored her after we kissed, and I'm still ignoring her now. She seemed to take the hint pretty quickly but that didn't stop her from messaging me every now and again, he messages making me feel less alone, but now she's stopped messaging me, leaving me to wallow in my own self pity. Yay.
I scroll up to the messages we shared the day we kissed, and I smile brightly.
From: Bitch ♥️
Hey, I just got home, whatcha up to? x
Sent on the 17th April at 4:27 pm
From: Olivia 🙄
You literally saw me ten minutes ago, I'm still downstairs watching Netflix, in the same position as I was when you left 😂 x
Sent on the 17th April at 4:29 pm
From: Bitch ♥️
Sorry, I thought you'd actually get off your lazy ass, but apparently not 😂 xx
Sent on the 17th April at 4:30 pm
From: Olivia 🙄
Ha ha, you're funny xx
Sent on the 17th April at 4:30 pm
From: Bitch ♥️
The funniest 😘 xx
Sent on the 17th April at 4:32 pm
After that we went onto discussing anything, my cheeks heating up whenever she sent an 'x' at the end of her messages. I felt so giddy and happy that it terrified me. It hit me later that night what we'd done and so I sent her a message late at night, and now I'm reading that message again, a violent pang in my chest as guilt washes over me as I stared down at the words across the screen.
From: Olivia 🙄
Goodbye Miller. I can't do this.
Sent on the 18th April at 3:56 am
She'd sent a long string of messages in the morning, consisting of 'why' and 'what did I do wrong', and I didn't reply to a single message. She tried to talk to me during school but I walked right past her as if she wasn't there. I guess I'm the bitch now, huh?
From: Bitch ♥️
Can we talk?
Olivia?
I know you're reading these texts. Answer me.
Olivia!! Please!!
Have you eaten anything today?
How are you?
Are you just going to keep ignoring me?
Olivia please, just talk to me!
Fine, don't.
Olivia!
Fucking answer my messages!
OMG, you're so annoying!! I hate you!!
Olivia?
Olivia please.
I'm sorry. For whatever I did I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone. xx
:Most recent message sent at 7:42 pm on April 22nd.
I stared at her most recent message again, wanting nothing more than to message her and apologise for being such a coward, but I couldn't. So I sat there, eating ice cream and watching Netflix, missing the girl who I'd kissed.
~~~
I woke up to the sound of a knock at my door, I must have fallen asleep.
The knocking continues and so I groggily got up from my laying position, my clothes sticking to my skin, a sickly smell wafting through my nose. Fuck. The ice cream fell on me.
I groaned loudly, not having time to change my clothes since the knocking on the door hadn't stopped. My feet were heavy as I carried my sleepy state to the front door.
But the face that greeted me on the other side forced my eyes to open wider and my brain to start functioning properly.
She didn't even wait for confirmation that she could walk in, she just did. Pushing past me and standing far enough away from me so I couldn't pull her back out.
"What are you doing here Miller?" I asked, annoyance seeping through. I didn't know whether I wanted to kick her out or kiss her. Unfortunately, it was probably the latter.
"Oh! she speaks" Mia cried dramatically, clapping her hands and faking a smile. But then her face dropped and she began glaring, her signature death stare aimed at me.
"It's not like you made an effort to talk to me either" I huffed. She just rolled her eyes. I missed her, but at the same time, she's still a bitch.
"Well, I'm making an effort now" she sighed.
I scoffed at her and gritted my teeth. This is not how I wanted to wake up. I don't want to wake up and see my future girlfriend angry at me, it's just not fair.
"Too bad. Leave."
"No"
"Leave. Now."
"I'm not fucking leaving!"
"Oh for fucks sake Mia! I don't want to hear it! I'm covered in melted ice cream, I'm still half asleep and I feel like shit! So please, for my own fucking sanity. Fuck. off" I spat. Yeah, this really isn't the way I wanted to wake up.
"Well you're going to fucking hear it! All you need to do is listen to me, you don't have to say a single fucking thing! Now, can we please stop swearing at each other!" she snapped, her eyes filled with rage. I didn't care. I wasn't in the mood.
"Just go"
"No. Just listen"
I sighed in defeat and watched her expectantly, she seemed to understand that I was telling her to speak, but she better make it quick.
"I really fucking like you, Liv. You're amazing, talented, bitchy, cruel, dramatic, and yet you're the only person I want to be around. I don't know why you're avoiding me, I don't know if you regret kissing me, but I do know that I'll never regret kissing you. I've liked you for so long, hell, I might even love you at this point. I'm a bitch, Olivia. Always have been. I'm scared of being myself, of being judged, but when I'm with you, I just feel free. You allow me to feel free. And I'm not ready to let you go yet" she finished. I just stood there, staring at her, my mouth open and my eyes wide.
She... She loves me?
I stand there, speechless.
Unmoving.
Thinking.
Processing.
Lost.
Confused.
And then it clicked.
Miller likes me, and I like her.
"I'm sorry" I mumble. I take a deep breath, knowing that what I'm about to tell her could change everything. "I'm sorry for being such a coward, I'm sorry for avoiding you, thinking that whatever I feel for you will go away, I'm sorry for making you think that I would ever regret kissing you, because if anything, I just want to kiss you more. I'm sorry for being shitty, I'm sorry for being a bitch, I'm sorry for not talking to you about all of this. I like you too, Miller. I like you a lot, actually" I smile.
She smiles too and I felt like the air had become fresh, as if the pollution was gone and I could finally breathe.
"So, what happens now?" she asked, biting her lip nervously. Cute.
"I don't know. I'm still scared"
"Me too"
"Do you wanna know a secret?"
"Yeah, sure"
"I really want to kiss you right now"
"Then do it"
So I did, I practically ran to her side and pulled her lips against mine, the kiss more passionate than any kiss we've shared. My heart was beating loudly and butterflies were flying all around, my eyes closing as I enjoyed the feeling of her soft lips against mine.
She immediately kissed me back, running her hand through my hair as our lips danced, my hands going to her waist, pulling her in closer.
I felt her hand travel down my neck, causing a shiver of pleasure to run down my back and I sighed against her lips, gripping her waist harder and she parted her lips in surprise, giving my tongue entrance.
We kissed like this for minutes, not wanting to let each other go. Our tongues fighting each other for a sense of dominance, pleasured sounds leaving her soft lips whenever I brought our bodies closer. But eventually we had to pull apart.
I stared at her as I moved away, her lips now swollen and her breathing abnormal. I think it's safe to say she enjoyed the kiss.
"I could get used to that" she giggled, and I giggled too. I never thought I'd ever be the type to giggle, but here we are.
"me too" I spoke. I gave her lips a quick peck and I felt her smile against my lips. "Pick a movie, I'm gonna go change out of my clothes and take a shower".
She nodded and I watched her leave the hallway and go into the living room, already searching through Netflix.
I ran upstairs and got into the shower, glad to be free from my sticky clothes. I was smiling like an idiot the whole time and I was still struggling to catch my breath as I stepped out of the shower.
Yeah, I really could get used to that.