Chapter Fifteen: Lucky & Bruised
"I won't pretend that I'm not broken,
~ mimoza
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"You look constipated."
Jared's eyes lingered out the windshield for a moment before quickly glancing to me, eyes narrowed. "I do not."
I nodded aggressively. "You totally do." A laugh bubbled out of me when I kept my attention on his flexing arms. "You doing good, Jay?"
"I'm fine," he defended. "Do I need to worry about your eyes, Lucky?"
"Deflecting," I sang.
"That's what you do," he matched my tone before throwing me a look. "And I'm just thinking."
I snorted and stared out my window. "Sorry, I forgot you're the stubborn one. What are you thinking about? Clowns?"
"Ha. Funny." There was a pause. "You didn't miss any classes, right?"
"No. I don't have classes on Monday," I yawned, arching my back against the seat before peering back to him. My eyes met his, and I felt my heart soaring.
It was Monday now, only two days since he'd gotten drunk. We were driving back to campus now, with the sky being void of clouds, but the weather dipping closer to seven.
It's also been three days since we last kissed—but both of us seemed adamant in avoiding the following conversation:
What happens now?
My eyes lowered to my lap, where I was pressing my palm against my left, outer thigh, right above my scar. A reminder of what I lost—what we both lost.
The memory of the metal of the car scrapping against me was enough to make me close my eyes tightly. I began to take soothing breaths to avoid another panic attack.
"Lucky?" Jared said, his voice inching closer to alarm. "What's going on?"
"Nothing," I choked out before raising my head to tightly smile in his direction. "I'm just thinking," I repeated his excuse, but he didn't find amusement in it.
He glared, using a hand to brush his messy hair back before turning back to the highway. "Clover," his voice lowered, and I shivered, hearing my name roll off his tongue. "You want to tell me, or do I have to guess?"
"Don't guess," I breathed out.
After swallowing slowly, I blinked. "I was thinking about the accident."
He said nothing at first, to the point where I began to shuffle in my seat to do something. When his eyes finally whirled to mine, I nearly sighed in relief when he didn't appear angry.
"I don't... I don't want you to think being with me isn't safe," he trailed off, his pupils dilating as he watched me, clearly upset. "I wouldn't..."
My hand moved over the console to grab his. "I don't think that."
His eyes were glazed over before he blinked rapidly, facing the road in front of him. "Yeah," he cleared his throat, releasing my hand—only to curl it into a fist on his lap.
We sat in silence for another few minutes, until he was pulling onto the ramp. But I noticed we were getting off one too early. "Where are we going?" I questioned, twisting in my seat. I curled my legs under me as I did so.
He gave me a small smirk. "Thought we'd get breakfast food. Down?"
"At one in the afternoon?" I grinned, rubbing my hands together. "Hell yeah." He was amused by my expression. "What?"
He shook his head, before turning left. I watched as his hand tightened around the wheel, all while his arm flexed at the movement. Hot.
No. Not hot. It's veiny. Gross.
"Nothing," he drawled, thankfully taking me out of my thoughts. "Your ears always perk up when someone says breakfast."
I gaped and covered my ears with my hands. "They do not!"
"They do," he laughed amusingly. "Noticed in high school. It's cute."
"Stop saying my ears act cute," I grumbled.
He stopped at a red light a few seconds later, but I reeled my head back when he suddenly gyrated his head toward me. He appeared serious as his eyes dropped to my hand-covered ears.
Slowly, he lifted his hand and cupped the right side of my head. My lips parted, and I felt like I couldn't breathe properly as he peeled my hand away.
He leaned in, his nose close to mine. "Breakfast," he mumbled, his tone playful as he pulled his head back.
With my focus intently on my ear, I cussed when I felt it unconsciously lift at the word. "Damn it," I grumbled, covering my ear again while he sat back and laughed.
"You're so annoying," I emphasized, but he only laughed harder before throwing me a wide grin. "So every time you offered to get breakfast—"
"I was watching your ears," he drawled, not even bothering to hide his smirk before the light turned green again.
I released my hold on my head and pretended to admire everything outside my window. Still, I felt my cheeks burning up as I played with my lotus necklace. "Whatever," I muttered.
It was only a few minutes later when we were parking on the side of Darla's Kitchen. We were seated after that, and our food came quickly after ordering.
We procrastinated in getting up from the table. Mostly because while I was teasing him about my love for clowns, he'd rant about how he absolutely loved ghosts and wanted one to come by—knowing full well I believed paranormal activity existed.
By the time we got into his car, topics changed. But the second he pulled in front of my dorm building, I began to sigh before slowly unbuckling my seat belt.
"I'll help with your stuff," he expressed, not waiting for my reply before jumping out of the car.
I cracked a smile to myself before sliding outside, only to see the trunk open by the time I got there. Jared seemed to be watching me with a smirk, holding two of my bags.
My eyes narrowed on him, but grab my things, nonetheless. "What's wrong with you?"
"I gotta teach you manners, Lucky," he drawled, pushing himself away from the car before closing the trunk. "Nothing's wrong with me. I'm amazing."
"Of course, you are." I shook my head before reaching to the side pocket of my school bag—where I remembered placing my lanyard key before leaving my house this morning.
But I sucked a breath when I didn't find anything inside.
"Shit," I frowned, bending on my knees to put my bags on the ground before scurrying inside. I tried to find any evidence of my keys, but after a minute passed, I was lucked out.
But then, a soft chuckle made my muscles tense up before slowly, I lifted my gaze, only to see Jared flashing me a face-wide grin, his eyes gleaming with mischievous.
Slowly, I straightened my legs. "What did you do to my keys?" I spoke, my voice low in warning.
He didn't look threatened. "Gotta find them."
"Seriously?" I raised my brows, but still tempted to touch him. "Okay."
I stepped forward, so there was barely any space between us. I inhaled and lifted my head, so I could meet his darkening crystal blue eyes before bringing my palm to his clasped hands.
He tsked and opened his hands, murmuring, "Cold."
I didn't bother replying as I shot out to his front jean pocket. I ignored how hard he felt against my fingertips, and despite not feeling the keys, my touch lingered. "Warm." He dipped his head next to mine, his breath caressing my neck.
Not lifting my hand off him, I slowly trialled it around his hips before dipping my hand lower, to his back pocket. "Hot," he muttered, against me, making me shiver before grasping the key.
His eyes flared with desire when I pulled my head back.
My eyes had their own thoughts when they dropped to his lips, but my body betrayed me when I arched toward him.
His eyes fluttered to mine while I licked my lower lip. "Lucky," he grumbled, leaning in. His musky scent filled my senses. He smelt so good, it was criminal.
For a moment, I allowed myself to think about his lips on mine. And more. But the longer I thought about it, the more I considered the consequences of our actions.
Which was why I stepped back a moment later, clearing my throat and keeping my eyes low. I bent down to grab my bags again before tightly smiling. "I should probably..."
"Yeah," he coughed, nodding before arching his thumbs into his front pockets. "There's a game Saturday. You're going, right?"
I smiled softly. "I am."
"Good. Okay." He scratched the back of his neck, but my eyes lingered on his biceps. "I'll see you then."
With an awkward goodbye, I strolled to the doors, gripping my keys tightly. But before scanning it, I glanced over my shoulder and saw Jared's car idling where I left it, with him watching me from the drivers seat.
Taking another deep breath, I scanned my card and strolled inside before doing the same process again. During my walk to my room, my mind was jumbled up with what ifs.
What if I didn't push myself back?
What if we talked about us if I didn't leave?
What if I—
I stopped that train of thought, just as the sound of Adrianna's voice rose deep from my mind.
That's my brother, Clove. God, what if I dated your brother. You backstabber.
My eyes tightened shut as I rounded the corner. My room was near the end, my bed waiting for me with open arms. At least, until after I showered.
With a yawn, I lifted my keys and shoved one into the door. But what I saw on the other side stopped me, dead in my tracks.
Tilly was in a lavender sports bra with low rise sweatpants as she sat on her bed. My eyes glazed over her tattoos on her arms and chest before noticing her playing with her pixie hair. She sat cross-legged, facing my side of the room, smiling, and my eyes rotated in that direction.
Brendan sat on the ledge of my bed, hands locked together on his lap as he nodded at whatever Tilly said before they both peered to me.
I gripped the door handle. "Um. Hi love."
"Oh look, it's my roommate!" Tilly exclaimed, smirking before nodding her head once. "Sup, Coco?"
"Good." I cleared my throat and lowered my gaze as I stepped further into the room before closing the door behind me. "Good."
I studied Brendan, who had red his hair typically styled curly on top, shaved on the sides. His green eyes didn't hold hostility as he stood, smiling. "Hey, Clover."
"Hi," I matched his expression before my eyes jumped between the two of them. "What you guys talking about?"
He shrugged casually, but I didn't miss how his cheeks flushed as I strolled to my bed, dumping my belongings on top of it. "Just about life."
"And Alden," Tilly chirped, making my eyes widen before my head snapped to Brendan, who was standing next to me.
His cheeks darkened as he blushed. "And Alden," he repeated in confirmation.
I nodded slowly, watching him with curiosity. "What about Alden?"
"We're... going on a date."
That made me nearly squeal. "Really? Oh, I knew he was into you!"
"Really?" He chuckled, licking his lips repeatedly. "I didn't think he'd..."
"Oh no, he's definitely into you." I couldn't lose my smile. "Where are you guys going?"
He shrugged as he turned his body, so he could sit on Tilly's bed, legs hanging off the edge. "It's a surprise."
I nodded, sitting on my bed across from him. "Tell me everything you do know."
His eyes beamed at the thought of Alden asking him out before beginning the story—which started on Friday. They had been hooking up since Halloween, but when they ended up going to a party separately and a guy suddenly began flirting with him, Alden got jealous and proclaimed Brendan was with him.
He asked to go on a date next Friday, and that was that.
By the end, I was grinning like crazy at the thought of Alden being territorial over Brendan, while Tilly watched me expectedly.
"What about you, Coco? I wanna know all about—" Tilly's accusation was cut short when I threw her a glare. Not now, I hope she read from my expression.
After a few moments, she leaned back against the wall and sagged, while I watched her, relieved.
"Speaking of Alden, I'm actually meeting him for coffee before my next class," he admitted as he stood, grabbing his school bag off the floor.
He straightened, but instead of walking toward the door, he focused on Tilly and smiled sadly. "Thanks for hearing me out, Tils."
"Don't mention it," she mumbled, curling her lips inward. "Seriously, don't."
He laughed and waved goodbye before turning to me. "I'll see you?" He waited until I nodded before flashing a wave in my direction.
With that, he strode out of our room, closing the door behind him. But just as it clicked shut, both Tilly and I pounced with questions.
"What was he doing here—"
"—So you and the mal'chik seein' each other yet—"
"—And what did he mean by thanking you about hearing him—"
"—Does he have a big dick—"
"I thought you hated each other!"
We were both glaring at one other in the end, neither of us caving in. I wanted my answers first, and she clearly saw that from my expression, because she sighed loudly before crossing her arms.
"Fine. I texted and told him to drop by. To talk," she mumbled, pursing her lips as she sagged back. "What you said stuck to me. About him wantin' to make amends and some shit. I was curious."
My brows rose. "Was I right?"
She frowned. "Yeah, you were right. He told me he was going through some shit, too. Was bullied 'bout being a redhead. Didn't really hear about my rumours till later, 'cause no one really spoke to him."
"Bullied... for having red hair? Why would people even—"
"Tell me 'bout it," she rolled her eyes before straightening her back against the wall. "So we're good now, I guess."
"That's good," I smiled happily. I wanted Tilly to have more people in her corner—she deserved it.
Just then, her lips began to split into a coy smile, her mouth open with the tip of her tongue showing. "Your turn, Coco. I wanna know everythin' about you and the mal'chik."
I tugged the bottom of my lip with my teeth, nervous to even consider telling someone the whole story. But glancing back to Tilly, I wasn't too... worried. "I don't know where to start exactly."
She crossed her arms behind her head, still against the wall. "Anywhere. I want the deets."
With a nervous chuckle, I nodded and arched my back. "Okay, I guess I should start with... Jared was my best friends brother. That's how we met."
"Was?" She frowned.
A wobbly smile was present on my lips. "She died. It's gonna be a year in February."
Her mouth opened, her gaping like a fish. "Oh," she managed to form before slowly sagging forward, her back now off the wall, but her full attention on me. "What happened?"
I told her as much as I could, but managed not to cry as I briefly discussed the accident. Everything that happened before and after.
By the end, an hour passed, and I was grabbing the bottle of water on my desk on my right, gulping almost every drop while Tilly continued to leave her mouth open.
My eyes were on her warily until she pushed herself forward, off her bed. "I feel like I should hug you."
"You don't have to," I smiled sadly. "I know how you feel—"
The words stopped forming when she bent down and wrapped her thin arms around me. "It's chill, Coco," she muttered next to my ear. "Accept the hug."
I chuckled softly and sniffed before wrapping my arms around her. She smelt like cigarettes and lavender, and I sighed, almost with relief before she peeled herself away—only to sit on my left seconds later.
We sat in silence until she shuffled next to me. "The boy looks interested in you," she drawled out, giving me a knowing look.
I laughed her accusation off. "He's not."
She cocked her head toward me and glared. "You're a bad liar." She shook her head. "If we're gonna be friends, you gotta do better than that, Coco."
"I not a—why do people say that?" I frowned, but she only seemed pleased at my reaction before nudging my shoulder.
"He wants you," she rephrased.
My heart jumped, and I sucked my stomach in as tingles ran through my body. "Maybe. But it obviously can't happen."
Her eyes rolled dramatically. "And why's that?"
"Because it's inappropriate," I stated obviously. "And it's wrong."
"Coco. My sweet coco puffs." She patted my cheek. "You think it's wrong, but it really ain't."
It's wrong, Clove. It's betrayal.
My eyes stung, but I forced myself to train my thoughts elsewhere as I stood up from my bed, so I could walk to my closet. "I'm gonna go take a shower."
"Okay," she yawned behind me. I heard the bed springs squeak when she moved. "Watch somethin' when you get back?"
I slipped out of my clothes and wore my robe. "Sure."
I grabbed my shower bag next to my desk before straightening. I made sure to grasp my keys before peering over my shoulder. "You pick the movie."
"Can it be gross?"
"Yes," I laughed before stepping out of our room with flip flops on.
I crossed the hall and strolled to the bathroom I shared with the rest of the people on our floor. But the second I stepped inside, beginning to hang my things next to the shower, I heard the door behind me open.
My head twisted to see who else I'd share the room with, only to gape at the person.
It was Liana.
She wore black cargo pants with detachable buckles, and a skin-tight, white long sleeve shirt. Her dark, curly hair was down, and she surprisingly wasn't wearing her sunglasses, giving me the chance to see her send a nasty glare.
"What are you doing here?" I spoke slowly, making sure all my things were hung before rotating my body toward her.
A nasty smirk grew on her lips. "I live in this building."
"Not on this floor though," I stated slowly. I knew everyone on my floor, since we had meetings on occasion. Which meant this wasn't her community bathroom. "What do you want from me, Li?"
Her smile was swiped off her face, so she was just glaring. "Don't call me that."
"Li?" My brows rose as I stepped forward, crossing my arms. "Why not? Don't like to be reminded that we were friends?"
"You were charity," she hissed, snapping her head froward before dropping her hands on her hips. "And I was being charitable."
"Sure you were," I sighed, cocking my head to the side. "Is there a reason you want to pick a fight? Is it your mom—"
"Don't talk about my mom." She began to shake in her spot, and I frowned, stepping forward.
"Is everything okay?" I asked cautiously.
Her hands rose, and suddenly they were pressed against my shoulders before she pushed me back. The floor was slippery, and I gasped, falling to the ground on my butt. Hard.
I clenched my ass cheeks in pain as Liana bent down, presenting herself as a child about to step on a pesky ant. "Don't talk to me like we're friends, " she sneered. "You're below me. I can't believe I ever wasted time on you."
Feeling heated, I kicked my foot out from underneath her, so she was on the ground next to me.
She groaned, but I sat up, glaring. "You say I'm below you, but you act like everyone we used to hate. You are a hypocrite, and a liar. I thought you were better than your mom and sister, but I guess not. You should be ashamed of yourself."
The pain in her expression vanished instantly, and slowly, she sat up, defiance and anger causing her lip to curl. "I fucking hate you!"
I didn't have enough time to block my face, because suddenly, she reached out and slapped my face, only for her nails to curl and scratch my cheek.
My lips parted in utter surprise, watching her silently for a few moments while my cheek stung. But I ignored the pain when I threw myself over her. "You're such a bitch!"
For the next minute, we tussled on the dirty bathroom floor. I tugged her hair at one point, still on top of her, but when she did the same, I was cut off guard and swung to the floor next to her. My head banged against the surface, and I saw white before Liana straddled me again, hitting and yelling.
I managed to lock her arms when my vision cleared, remembering everything I'd been taught during my self defence classes. I managed to throw her to the ground and kick her away from me.
I was gasping for air as I leaned back against the wall, watching her slowly stand next to the shower where I hung my things.
Her eyes didn't move from mine, until they dropped to my leg that was bent. Her eyes flashed with something, but before I could read further into it, she sobered.
My face twisted in a grimace when I saw the scar on my leg, open for anyone to see. And Liana was seeing it.
I quickly lifted my robe and covered it with a shaky hand before lifting my gaze. "You and Jared will never exist," she began slowly, almost causally as she stepped forward.
My throat tightened, but she continued, smirking. "Sucks Adrianna died. Too bad you couldn't take her place, right? She was definitely better to be around."
I felt a stabbing pain in my chest, but that didn't deter Liana, who peered over her shoulder, where my shower bag was, before lifting a hand under it.
In seconds, all my belongs fell to the ground, all echoing with different sounds until the last bottle dropped.
"Bye, Clover. Try not to fall again, k'?" She wiggled her fingers, smiling innocently before skipping with her heels to the exit.
For a few minutes after she departed, I sat there, stunned and disoriented.
Too bad you couldn't take her place.
Every bone in my body ached, and my nose began to close up as my eyes welded with unshed tears.
It's okay to be a pussy, Clove. You can cry.
With that confirmation from Adrianna's taunting voice, I made a noise from my mouth—which sounded more like a struggled gasp for air—before tears began to fall down my cheeks.
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hi lovelies! I'm so sorry for being
MIA and not posting last week—
I ended up getting mold poisoning
and life wasn't that great :')
(it wasn't covid, I tested three times)
I took a break from writing and
my extracurricular activities for
about two weeks, but I'm finally
starting to feel better, so here's to
hoping I write some more before
school starts again!
thank you lovelies for reading and
sticking around, and I'll see you
in the next one xx