And like lightning, Izuku was fighting for his life.
As usual.
***
"Midoriya, I like you. I know you probably don't feel the same way but I really do. Ever since you opened my eyes and made me realize that my quirk was mine and not my Father's, I started to take a liking towards you. Ever since you made me realize it was ok to have friends I started to admire you. Admire your confidence, admire your kindness, admire your looks. Everything about you. And...I just wanted to know if you feel the same."
Izuku was in utter shock. No one had ever asked him out like that. Especially no one he secretly liked back. While still being young, he only have been asked out once. But he didn't really take interest in the girl and rejected her.
'There's always the one for you out there somewhere' people would say, which Izuku found really dumb since there is 7 billion people in this world and only 19 students in his class. The world was huge and his 'someone' could be out anywhere.
But maybe...maybe this was it. Maybe this was his someone. Being the sort-of-naive teen he was, in his mind it was all a huge coincidence the universe put together if your crush liked you back.
And in his mind that meant it was meant to be.
"Todoroki-Kun, I like you too. I like you a lot. And...I do feel the same way." A sigh of relief escaped the others mouth. He was holding a breathe he didn't even realize.
"So...does that mean we're dating now?" Shoto asked, impatiently waiting for an answer from the greenette's mouth.
"Yes. Todoro-"
"You can call me Shoto now."
Izuku nodded. "Shoto, I really want to be your boyfriend."
"And so do I."
And with that, they shared a kiss. One full of love and caring. Understanding of each other and everything they have gone through in the past. Yet, in that kiss they held a unspoken promise that from now on, they would do this together.
They would be for each other together.
And in that kiss, Shoto cried. He cried and Izuku knew it was because of the relief. The relief of finally having someone to cry with.
But...
Crocodiles cry when eating their prey.
***
No gravity. Like flying but your in place, not going up or down. A heavy weight on top of you, like a blanket but uncomfortable.
Darkness clouding his mind, taking away Izuku's vision. Too many thoughts racing until there's nothing to think about. His mind in panic mode, shoving millions and millions of scenarios into his brain to the point where it's like he was thinking nothing at all.
There's so much carbon dioxide in the blood, and so little oxygen, that chemical sensors in the brain trigger an involuntary breath.
And once he took that breath, it went down his lungs and ended up waning transfer of oxygen into the blood. The clock is ticking; half-conscious and enfeebled by oxygen depletion, his body in no position of getting up, especially when something is holding him down.
Hot lava. His nose, lungs, stomach. It was on fire. The burning sensation made it much much worse.
And all because he was being drowned in his bathtub.
Izuku woke up coughing abruptly. He wasn't in that tub anymore. He wasn't drowning. He was on the floor, with plastic bags underneath him and a towel beside him. It took him a second to realize his surroundings and when he did, he wasn't a least bit surprised.
It happened again huh?
He wasn't even bothered to grab the towel, or go look for whoever saved him. Heck, he wasn't even bothered to call an ambulance or the police. He knew better. And he knew that wasn't going to solve any of his problems.
Sitting up, he took in his surroundings again. The door that had been closed, a sink that hadn't been cleaned for months. Same goes for the musty toilet. The floors wet, the tub filled with dirty water, everything dirty, dirty, dirty.
But Izuku was used to it.
In fact he was used to a lot of things.
A lot of things he shouldn't be used to.
He sat there, back against the wall, waiting. He didn't know what he was waiting for, but he just waited. A very bad habit of his, but he couldn't help it.
People say 'patience is key' but you soon learn that patience isn't all that good. You wait, but what are you even waiting for? You wait, but how long? You wait, but for what reward? That's one of many things Izuku pondered sometimes. He wondered of a lot of things, in fact. But only when he wasn't thinking about blood.
So there he sat, playing subconsciously with his fingers like a toddler waiting for a bottle. His bruised arms not moving at all while his fingers swayed in different directions.
"Izuku baby~"
He paused. Izuku cringed when he heard that. It felt sour and foreign. He never got used to that name. To that sound. He always feared it in fact, but he would never show his fear.
"Izuku my kitten~? Are you awake~?" The other said, taking a key out of his pocket to open the lock he put on the doorknob. He slowly opened the door, the creaking of it reminding Izuku of a countdown before death or something.
"Your awake! I missed you baby." The taller smiled.
"I miss you too Shoto."
What a great lie.
Izuku was a very good person, but every good person always has something bad in them. Whether useful or not. And Izuku was great at lying. Back in high school, his nervousness got the best out of him.
But ever since Shoto did that to him for the very first time, he got better at hiding everything with a lie.
Lies. Lies. Just lies.
"You might be mad at me, but you know why I did this? Right Izuku?"
He nodded.
I thought I understood you. Guess I was mistaken.
"I love you Izuku. I'm just doing this for your own good." Shoto said, lowering himself so that he was face to face with Izuku. He slowly reached to caress Izuku's face, which for he in return flinched at the touch. Shoto didn't notice though, and slowly ran his thumb up and down the smaller's cheeks.
"I don't want you to run away from me baby. Something could happen to you. What if you got hurt?" Shoto reasoned, which for Izuku went to one ear and out the other, yet nodded.
Those words, were plastic.
"Are you scared of me Izu? After all the love and care I show you, you thank me by running away? That wounds me babe." He continued, pain covering his features like cheap makeup from the drug store.
Everything. Plastic.
But Izuku couldn't do anything about it.
And even if he could, he wouldn't.
So he kept quiet.
"Your safe with me Izuku. We both know that."
"The world is a scary place. Consume yourself with it, and you'll get pulled away into a nightmare you can never escape. We both know that." Shoto sighed. He knew he meant everything he said, but for Izuku they were nothing but plastic. But yet, he tried to make those words into a reality.
Shoto wanted to just-
"Then why do you hurt me." The sentence was cold. It wasn't even a question, more of a statement because Izuku knew this was scarier. That this place, this life, was worse. Scarier than the world they both called a nightmare.
Scarier than the world they promised each other to make a better place.
To protect each other from.
Together.
Shoto rubbed his temples. Didn't know how to exactly answer.
But, their life was a lie.
So...
"I don't hurt you. I keep you safe. But Izuku... you confuse the warmth I give you with pain you hallucinate."
Izuku nodded. Giving up the argument and giving in. He let those words consume him. And drown him into a lie that he would call reality. He couldn't do anything else. For so long, that's all he had ever done. And that's all he had ever been good at.
Be a lie. Believe a lie. Be with a lie. Live a lie.
"You believe me right?" Shoto questioned, not once leaving the gaze he had with Izuku.
Izuku's eyes widened.
Sometimes the lie he lived faded away with just a few words.
But just for a few minutes.
"I mean, he didn't believe me. And let me tell you, it didn't end up good."
And sometimes, giving up only meant taking a break.
"What are you talking about?" His mouth sour as those words left his mouth. His face mad, confused, hurt that Shoto tried to excuse drowning him with just a few cheap words.
Shoto smiled, not a sincere smile but one that was just a mask that covered something. Hid something. Izuku stared at Shoto intensely, trying to find a gap. A spot where maybe if he found it, he could understand what he meant.
"You wouldn't want to know. And I can't really tell you anyways." Shoto monotoned.
"Then if you didn't want to tell me you could've kept your mouth shut and not give any cheap hints just to work me up." Something in Izuku snapped as he said this. It only happened when Shoto said something in a sneer way but hid it with a smile. And at when that happened, he didn't care about what would happen after this. He didn't care about the consequences.
When everything is a lie it's only fair to at least have a truth.
"It's only fair after you tried to leave me." Shoto glared, hands clenched, get pissed off little by little. Word by word.
"You drowned me! And then have the fucking nerve to just excuse your actions that could take you to jail with cheap excuses that you love me when you do shit like this?! Who wouldn't want to leave you after that!"
It all happened so quickly, Izuku couldn't even process the burning sensation he felt on his right cheek. Couldn't even process Shoto's emotions. How he went from calm and rational, to having eyes that could burn and freeze you in an instant.
"Don't you dare raise your voice at me. Did you not hear a word I said?! I'm PROTECTING YOU! PROTECTING YOU LIKE I PROMISED I WOULD! PROTECTING YOU SO YOU CAN STAY WITH ME! LIKE WE BOTH PROMISED!" Shoto yelled, not once having pity for the boy under him, who looked up so scared, all the anger washing away with fear.
"YOUR THE ONE BREAKING OUR PROMISE! YOUR THE ONE LEAVING ME! BUT YET I ALWAYS DRAG YOU UP BACK WITH ME BECAUSE UNLIKE YOU, I KEEP PROMISES."
"You keep promises in the worst way possible." Izuku, still scared at the wild monster he triggered, only was brave enough to mutter that single sentence. Maybe just a few words, but enough state his point.
Izuku was just...so confused.
Is this the definition of safe?
It just...didn't feel right.
This happened every time. Fights with each other would happen every time. But not once did those fights lose meaning. Not once did Izuku quit pondering over the words that left the other's mouth. Not once did he question everything. Not once did those arguments stop fixing both of the boys perspective in life. Either for good or for bad.
It never felt right.
Even if this was what safety actually was.
He didn't like it.
Yet, he had to force himself to appreciate it. Because Shoto taught him that this was safety.
Because Izuku never knew what safe was. His whole high school he was scared. Scared that any second a villain would sneak up on him and take him away. Take his friends away, harm his teachers. Harm everyone.
Even at the age of 16 he had to look behind him, in front of him, constantly worrying if he would make it today. Constantly overthinking if today would be a normal day. Constantly fighting for his life. For others. For his friends. Constantly being in this fear that trapped him in a box.
He never got to live a normal life. He could never have a normal high school party with his friends because villains would always ruin it. They would always make sure that the kids knew they were still here.
Yes, the class did share wonderful moments at times. And those little moments would never be forgotten. Like that time when they were first years and made a concert for the whole school. Or when they went camping and for just a bit, they ate the food they worked so hard on outside as a class. Or when they first entered their dorms and did a competition on who had the best room. Or when they did nothing at all and slept in on weekends or had sleepovers in the common room and made forts because why the hell not. Or when they tried to be culinary chefs and make food they saw in five-star restaurants but would end up burning something. The times they would bicker and yell for no reason. The times they made spas and put face masks on that Aoyama bought while Momo made tea. And even when Aizawa scolded them for being immature little brats after the class snuck out at two in the morning with their skateboards to get snacks.
Those little moments, were beautiful. Those were the moments where life felt normal and everything was in place. When they felt like normal teenagers living a good life. A life where they could do whatever the hell they want because there's nothing that can stop them.
But like a stain that couldn't be removed, villains never left sight.
They would always remind the class that life was unfair. Too unfair
And sometimes life would chose to live in constant fear.
And when things went from bad to worse, everything flopped.
Because in the middle of his high school, he couldn't live a normal life of adolescence.
He and his class.
Not anymore.
They couldn't enjoy a normal birthday party.
Could never sleep in peace.
Couldn't even go to the mall.
The fear was just...there. The fear that brought everybody so much pain. That caused Izuku so much tears to the point he couldn't shed another. To the point that Shoto needed someone like a life support. To feel ok. To feel safe.
Izuku had to see his friends get hurt, get stabbed. Had to see Sir Nighteye take his last breaths and be known to have died saving. Had to see All Might take his last punch before retiring. Had to see what evil, pain, revenge did to a person like All for One. Had to deal with the pain of seeing his friend get taken away into a hole of darkness.
Izuku could do nothing but fight his way to temporary peace before doing it all over again.
And when both boy's confessed that day in their last day of school, because they couldn't have a proper graduation due to the L.O.V, Shoto found his someone. Someone that could tell him that everything would be ok. That everything would be fine. That this would be over soon.
Someone that he could cry to, vent all his problems to without being judged, put his problems onto his back because that's what it meant to have a helping hand.
Izuku thought he found his someone.
But he didn't.
Because just cause Izuku is Shoto's someone, doesn't mean Shoto is Izuku's someone.
And when they promised they would be together, go through everything together, pain together, it soon felt...
One sided?
Izuku wasn't sure.
But yet, now at the age of 21 he questioned his safety with someone he thought for so long was his safety. Was his knight in shining armor. Was his form of condolence just as Izuku was to Shoto.
"Your the one who's keeping promises the wrong way."
And after that long silence, Shoto managed to put the blame on his someone who made himself feel alleviated.
"It's ok baby I forgive you. I always did and will forever do." Shoto reassured leaning in close for a hug which to his surprise, Izuku pushed away and got up from the cold floor he was sitting on.
Izuku had given up. All this thinking, all these thoughts running through his head just to be blamed at yet again. "It's-it's fine. Go to bed you have hero work tomorrow. I'll clean this up." Izuku said plainly, pointing to the dirty tub and everything else.
Shoto smiled and nodded.
"Goodnight baby." Shoto reached to kiss Izuku's forehead, which got turned down when Izuku pushed him out of the way to go to the kitchen to get the cleaning supplies.
Shoto sighed in defeat, but knew how to fix this. He always did. He would make up for what he did with breakfast tomorrow. And then they would clear things up and have a good day.
It was a daily routine for both guys anyways.
Fight, weep, cry, start over fresh the next day.
Repeat.
But Shoto forgot that some plans don't go the way he pleases.
Especially when the plan involves a boy who's trying so desperately, confused but desperately trying to run away from something, someone who he called his safety...
But who was finally starting to realize.
Who finally started to realize the tide he was in.
The hole he was in.
The situation that felt like happened in a blink of an eye, and somehow managed to pull him away from reality.
Even though that reality was scary, Izuku could do it. He always did. Even if the peace was temporary, he vowed since he was in Middle School that he would solve any circumstance with a smile on his face. Just like All Might. And he was soon starting to realize that the reality he tried to run away from was the reality he would run to. Because that reality is better than the lies he lived in.
But who said it was going to be easy?
Welcome to: 𝙸'𝚖 𝚂𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚍. A bakudeku fanfiction. I hope you enjoy!