I am a wallflower. I love being a wallflower. I can do what I want, hear what I want, and nobody has to know. Thats's why I sat back at the Sorting ceremony and watched Aifric get sorted into Gryffindor, one year below me. I looked back onto my hasty Sorting with only Sirius and James in the room.
Sirius led me into a dark hallway. I don't really think that he was allowed to be here. It was dark, and creepy, and empty. The other students were off somewhere else, where exactly I was yet to know.
He stopped at a gargoyle and tapped it, whispering a word that I didn't catch. I wish I had, It might have helped later on in the year.
Suddenly, stairs. I looked to Sirius, and heard the footsteps of James following quickly behind. I began up the stairs and the boys followed.
I wasn't to be sorted in the "Great Hall" with the others because I was at too high of an emotional risk. The full moon being only, what, five days away? Four? left me at risk to have a breakdown, yell, and/or attack the crowd under pressure, which apparently the ceremony sure brought. So, I was able to be Sorted in my own little privacy, with only two other good friends.
I smiled as I saw Dumbledore's face. I had seen him once as a child, before I became infected, It was a nice feeling to remember such happy memories, back when happiness was taken for granted by me.
He sat me down. "Now, Ashlyn, we're going to put this hat on your head, and it will place you in either--" Dumbedore began, but I interrupted him.
"Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, or Hufflepuff." I completed happily. He nodded his head and continued to place the old, sooty hat on my head.
"RAVEN'" it started to call, but it faltered.
"GRYFF--" still no complete answer. James and Sirius were hanging on the edge of their seats.
"Slytherin." Tha hat completed. It started to close itself down. Sirius and James, Sirius more prominitely, jumoed out of their seats and gave out a very manly roar, before the hat popped up once more on my head.
"No, no, that is not my answer. Lets work this out. You are not a Hufflepuff, though you are very passive and sweet and loyal, which is what Hufflepuffs are known for. The other three houses are open to you, though. Gryffindor: you are brave, and have endured much with much strength. Ravenclaw: you are kind, and have an immense thirst for knowledge. Slytherin: I think you know this. You have an evil inside you, greater than anything. It threatens to overcome you at any moment, and it would definitely stand out less in Slytherin than the other two houses.
"But, then again, I can sense your desire not to be put in the house of Snakes. I see that you long for a position in Gryffindor and Ravenclaw-- I also see an immense desire for friendship. Every friend that you have made has been placed in Gryffindor, but I see that you would be okay with either house. Since I see an immense hunger to know, and you come from a famliy, though disowned, noble to this house, I shall place you in RAVENCLAW."
"RAVENCLAW." the voice echoed happily in my brain.
Sirius and James, who had stopped howling in pain to listen to the hat, began whooping in celebration.
No snakey for me.
So Aifric was in the most noble house of Gryffindor-- I was fine with that, as I remembered how James had explained that the Ravens and Lions shared a good 90% of their classes together. I celebrated: the two "a"s of our friendship triangle MAA (Maeve, Aifric, Ashlyn) was here at Hogwarts! (Don't ask, really, Maeve and Aifric came up with it).
I don't even know why we are attracted to each other. Well, I can see Maeve and Aifric and why they are best friends, but why me? They are obnoxiously random and loud, and have probably read one book for pleasure combined in their lifetime, and were, well, like sisters. They used a lot of improper grammar and yelled a lot. Me, I sat up straight and read, I monitored everything I said and rarely spoke above a whisper. It must be sad to know that a girl who raised herself in the woods had better manners than yourself. I just want to know why me? They didn't know of my condition, and if they did, they would run. If they did find out, or even if they didn't, I could kill them at any second because they bothered me while I was reading.
I ignored my little depressed voices that I had constantly and trekked up to the dormitories. I wanted sleep, and quiet. I was hoping thatnobody would be in there, but I was wrong.
"Hello, good night." I said as I plopped into my bed. As usual, I was not in the mood for social interactions, eating, or really anything else. Today was Tuesday, and full moon was Friday. I was a bit happy that I could leave Patrick (who I really missed) with James and Sirius without lying to them. It was Remus and Aifric and her brothers that I was worried about. I suspected that Angus, one of Aifric's brothers, was on to me, as he was smart as hell, like me, and Caillean might have known, but I was in no way ready to tell anybody.
"All right, tell me if you need anything. I'm sorry if you're upset." a small girl said from a bed around me, and I instantly felt bad. I set out to recover myself,
"I'm sorry. I'm going down to the Hall for a minute, would you like me to bring you back up any food, or something?" I asked.
"No, but thank you. I'm Valerie, Valerie Smith, by the way. Are you new here? You don't sound familiar." she smiled in the dark. I nodded, and then realized how stupid that was.
"Yes. I'll be back, bye for now, Valerie." I tried to sneak out, but she flipped on the lights and pinned me against the wall.
"Your hair... it is the ebony of death. Your eyes, though blue, hold a hint of green in them. Your face is scarred, and you're always scared. You're a werewolf."
"Damn, am I holding a sign that announces it? You're the third person today." I sighed. "Good job, you deserve your spot in Ravenclaw. I'm Ashlyn, by the way. Ashlyn Velvela. See you around, Val." I smiled as I left.
I sat at the Ravenclaw table and looked to see who was there. Lo and behold, there was Cailean Doherty, sitting there being ridiculously photogenic as usual, already making friends. God, his hair, and his eyes. I had always had a little schoolgirl crush on him, but I highly doubt that he would date a chick who just found her way out of the woods. Besides, I had my eye on someone else.
Wait, did I? I didn't know that.
When did my mind start making decisions on its own, without my consent?
I barely liked Cailean, there was no way that I liked another guy.
No way.
Looking over to the Gryffindor table, I saw my dear friends James, Sirius, and Remus. I grabbed some bread and nibbled on it a I walked over there. I had to stop and wonder how in the hell I had such good manners when I lived by myself in the woods for years?
I was there when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I was ready to punch some perv in the face when I saw the person in front of me. It wa none other than the great Maeve.
"Maeve!" I shrieked. We were the calmer ones, so we only required a small one minute fiasco of disbelief and crap. I dragged her to introduce her to my friends when I saw who was sitting with them.
Aifric.
I felt bad for James, Sirius, Remus and Peter. They had to have been near deaf by the time we were done. That was the loudest I had ever been (and I didn't plan on being that loud ever again: it hurt my throat so much that I had to drink four glasses of water after we were done).
And then Aifric mentioned something to Remus-- something about a food called "chocolate". I didn't know what it was, and I definitely planned on asking either Remus or Aifric about it. It looked weird, and I didn't want to take a piece until I knew what ot was. I mean, what if it was dried and dyed unicorn blood?
We found out that Aifric and Maeve shared a room--lucky-- but then they invited me to stay with them instead of with Valerie. I promised I would spend most nights in the Gryffindor dorm. I mean, all of my friends were there, and I was not sure whether Valerie was really a friend. Henceforth, I was an official "room-mate".
Aifric introduced us, but I knew the bunch of them other than Lily and Peter, Apparently, he wasn't sitting with us, or I was a bitch and didn't notice the poor guy sitting right next to me.
Aifric and Maeve talked for a while while I pulled out a book-- The Strange Case of Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde-- and began to read. Remus, who was right next to me, peered over my shoulder.
"I know what you're feeling, Ashlyn. Them, over there talking. You feel like a bit of an outcast because they're so alike, and you're so different. You worry whether they really like you, or they pity you, so you don't push your friendship with them, even though their true acceptance is the thing you long for the most in life. You must have some sort of secret that distances you from them, but there's nothing you can do about that secret. Its just something that you have to live with." Remus sighed. I looked at him,
"How--?" I began, but he interrupted,
"Its exactly how I feel." he replied simply. "Its how I've lived my life for the last four years here at Hogwarts."
"Oh. I guess we have more in common than we thought. Even our taste in books." I laughed a bit.
"Quiet minds cannot be perplexed or frightened but go on in fortune or misfortune at their own private pace, like a clock during a thinderstorm." Remus mused into the crowd. I followed where his gaze went, off into the groups of friends and normality.
"If I am the chief of sinners, I am also the chief of sufferers." I replied with another quote from the book.
"Story of my life." he said, which summed up both of our feelings on the book. We fell into an awkward silence, before I was dragged off. I gave a short wave to him as I wriggled my way out of Aifric's grasp.
"I am the chief of sinners, I am the chief of sufferers." I muttered under my breath as I looked down at a scar on my left arm.