on the tip of the iceberg
At the start of Josephine's shift, she sat on the bench inside the locker room hovering at the phone in her grasp rereading the message on screen. A short three letter text from Bryan that said 'I love you' in which played off a continuous loop in her head since receiving the message last night. Meaningful and reassuring as it sounds to relieve the rapid beating of her heart since they've left the conversation that way, it was difficult for Josephine to feel entirely content about it.
She knew this topic of conversation was far from over by the look in Bryan's eyes when she confessed. They were indeed heartbroken. It would be hard for the man to deny because the couple had known each other for so long like the back of their hand. Or, so they thought.
In response to his text, Josephine managed to reply 'I love you too' as she carried uncertainty typing a response. Surely, it was a small sign likely for what a storm will brew in for their relationship, or what appeared to be the end. Josephine wasn't prepared to be confronted with that part at all, losing another person she strongly loves.
The alarm in the firehouse sounding off for a dispatch call broke Josephine from her trance. She rose onto her feet and took a deep breath before running out to meet the team at the firetruck.
"I told him a million of times, wait for everything to be shut off before you close down the place." The car wash owner entailed Josephine and the rest of the team as he guided them through the establishment. "But, does he listen? No!" He exclaimed. "He doesn't listen, you know what happens?"
Soon enough they were faced with a young man entangled in one of the large rubber mops in the car wash drive thru. "This! This is what happens." The car wash narrowed down at his employee.
"Sir, can you hear me?" Hen softly asked. She continued after receiving a response from the young man. "Anything feel broken? Uh, do you want to maybe wait until I decide if he's okay to be moved?" She flickered at Bobby who started to intervene.
Bobby paused then stepped back. "I'll be glad when Chimney gets back."
"We'll all be glad." Hen retorted.
Both Josephine and Buck shared a look from behind the latter, knowing the tension still lingered between Hen and Bobby since the dispatch call at the collapsing wedding venue.
"I'm curious how he got himself trapped." Buck whispered to Josephine, examining the scene.
Josephine quirked her brow, stifling a laugh. "Maybe the security cameras could give us the intel." She browsed around to see a few set up in the drive thru.
After reeling the employee out of the restraints of the large rubber mop and hose to carefully place him onto the stretcher into the ambulance, Hen and Bobby perked their heads up at the obnoxious rippling laughter that belonged to Josephine and Buck inside the building.
"Run it again!" Buck cried out, trying to hold onto Josephine nearly on the floor in tears.
Josephine nodded along, motioning to the confused car wash owner. "Oh my god, I can't." She giggled out.
The bell at the entrance rang, "Josie, Buck what are you doing?" Bobby voiced as he and Hen walked inside. Josephine cleared her throat failing to compose herself unlike Buck continuing to erupt into chuckles.
"You gotta see this!" He told while gesturing the older man to rewind the security footage despite Bobby's protests. "One more time." Josephine covered her mouth in preparation for the next few minutes. "Wait for it, wait for it!"
The footage showed the young employee prior to the incident, hosing down while the machines were running. Displaying how he was reeled into the rubber mop with ease and ended up being spun around, recklessly. Josephine couldn't help but start laughing again with Buck.
"Josie, Buck that man could've seriously been injured." Bobby attempted to remain professional by speaking in a stern tone
"This is so unpro-" Hen couldn't finish her sentence as she joined Buck and Josie bursting into laughter. While Bobby's mouth curved into a grin then chuckled along with the trio.
No doubt, this dispatch call was one neither of them would forget especially a first of their captain bracing a large grin and laugh.
Having a much needed laugh for Josephine, she stood out against the truck having her phone in her hand once again after taking the duffel into the compartment. Her brown eyes solely staring at Bryan's text message with everyone else were finishing packing up.
"Josie." She turned to see Buck took long strides towards her. His hands were fiddling with one another. "Can we talk about last night?" He cleared his throat yet lowered his tone.
His eyes were steadied upon the brunette who's lips parted then quickly scanned around of any of their colleagues in earshot range. She sharply inhaled and stepped closer to the anxious blond. "Nothing happened last night, Buck." She affirmed in a hushed tone. "Perhaps something could've but it didn't. I-If anything, I was in a vulnerable state and had a couple of glasses of wine." She coolly assured though more to herself to mask any ounce of guilt already internalized. "Anyways, we're fine. We don't need to act weird, alright?"
Buck pursed his lips together, noting the hint of pleading from the brunette. He acknowledged the stakes of her relationship with Bryan, so, he decided to take the initiative to not spare his feelings to pile onto her shoulders. "Right." He nodded along.
She sighed, lowering her eyes for a second to meet his piercing blue ones. "But, speaking about last night- thank you for coming by. I really needed to confide in someone. A friend." She elicited a faint smile.
"You can always can on me, Josie."
Vanessa pulled into her driveway after running errands with her three-year-old son, Diego in deep slumber in his car seat. When she shifted the gear into park and shut down the engine to her car, she escaped from the driver's side and walked up to Josephine who had revealed herself when she drove onto the driveway. The Santiago sisters haven't spoken since their last conversation a few days ago in the kitchen. However, Vanessa knew that Josephine would soon reach out- it's always either one of them approaching the other whenever getting into a dispute.
"Calvin told me you would be coming home." Josephine mentioned as she called her brother-in-law about the whereabouts of her older sister.
"Why don't you carry in your sleeping nephew and help me with the groceries?" Her sister nodded her head to the car.
Josephine waited patiently on the couch after assisting Vanessa with the groceries. She toyed with her engagement ring while her sister made themselves cups of tea. At the sound of her sister's feet shuffling into the room, she lifted her eyes to see Vanessa carrying both mugs in her hands.
"So, do you want to start or should I?" Vanessa enthused, once settling next to her younger sister on the couch.
The younger Santiago sister rested her head against the head of the couch, consciously fiddling with her engagement ring. She blew through her lips, "You don't have to apologize because your intuition might be right. I tried to talk to Bryan and it kind of ended up being a bombshell. The bombshell being that I didn't want kids at all." She paused, "Of course, he was in the middle of leaving to New York on a business trip."
Vanessa's face softened, "Well, what did he say?"
"Nothing. He got saved by his driver arriving to take him to the airport. So, he left." Josephine pressed her lips, trying to compose herself as the scene replayed in her head. It still stung. "But he texted 'I love you' to smooth over the wound, I guess."
"Did you reply to him?"
Josephine shortly nodded, "I said I love you too." She trailed off and lowered her gaze to her ring finger. "Maybe there's a possibility we could work it out, but I can't get rid of his torn expression out of my head. You should've seen him when I told him...just heartbroken. He can try to be understanding and fine except he's going to be saving face. That's going to be worst part."
Her older sister immediately brought her sister into her arms. Josephine buried into the crook of her neck. "I don't want him to leave me but it would be selfish of me, Vanessa. We're supposed to get married and start this new chapter of our lives and-"
"I know." Vanessa hushed and caressed the back of her younger sister's head. "I'm sorry that you're dealing with this and not making it easier by letting my opinion about your relationship get to you. Always know that I'm here for you, and we're going to get through this." She rested her chin on top of Josephine's head. "You and Bryan do need to talk it out though. Maybe, you'll prove that my intuition might be wrong."
After a brief moment of comforting silence between the Santiago sisters, Josephine lifted her head with a wash of guilt on her face. "Um...there's something that I need to tell you too."
Josephine arrived back home after a necessary talk with Vanessa. She sighed waltzing into the empty penthouse alone with Bryan gone and their relationship clearly on thin ice. The few months prior to committing to the love of your life was supposed to be nerve wracking between perfecting the fairytale wedding yet fulfilling to countdown the days towards it.
Pouring a glass of wine seemed to be ideal in terms of sipping one from a long day or running away from your problems. As Josephine fallen into either categories to pour herself a drink within the last few days. She exited out of the kitchen into the solace of her couch to contemplate her life and relationship. Before sinking into the cushions, she remained in her stance to reflect the night before.
Hands washed over Josephine's face as she sat on the couch having the scene on loop in her head. She sniffled after a couple of tears streamed down her face when urging to text or call Bryan. Reason she fought against it is that she couldn't form a coherent sentence or thought to approach from unveiling to what sound disheartening to her fiancé's ears. Bryan's transparent reaction discouraged her.
Her thumb just hovered his contact name on the screen of the phone unmoved.
Continuing to ponder late in the night of lonesome penthouse, there was a knock on the front door. Josephine perked up from the living and traveled to check in bewilderment how someone could come by at this hour into the night. Once she looked through the peephole, a sigh escaped from her lips.
"Buck?" The blond haired man stood on the other side of the door to presume to be the best time at night to swing by his friend's place. "What are you doing here?" Josephine held onto the doorknob after opening the door ajar.
"I wanted to thank you for helping tonight." He stated.
Josephine combed her fingers through her brown locks, squinting in confusion. "You couldn't have shared that through text? Or call?"
"Technically it's not the only reason I came by." He sheepishly spoke as he watched the brunette woman trying to follow along. "I wanted to check up on you."
"Still couldn't text or call to ask that? Though why did you think you had to check up on me?"
Buck shrugged, "You sounded off on the phone earlier. My intuition does seem right seeing that mascara stained on your cheek from crying?" Josephine instantly wiped her cheek as he mentioned it which proved him right. She groaned as he narrowed. "What's going on, Josie? Did something happen with Bryan?"
Sighing in defeat after conflicting to entail Buck, she felt gravitated to confide him. Possibly not wanting to feel so alone tonight and to see that he miraculously answered her prayers from the universe. She uttered nothing to him other than widening the door to invite inside.
Josephine pulled her legs onto the couch as she and Buck sunk into the couch. "Something actually happened with Bryan." She finally broke the silence and questions whirling in the blond's head. "We've talked about the idea of having kids, or not having in the future. We were on the same page that having kids wasn't a priority like other couples. So, it wouldn't be a whole one sided thing." She started fiddle with her engagement ring. "But a few months ago, I came to the conclusion that kids weren't on the table for me. Which would shift a different conversation with Bryan. I was scared because I fear he'll want kids though- considering we kept that idea too."
She looked up to see those piercing blue eyes fully paying attention. "A few nights ago, Bryan randomly brought up about kids. An ideal estimation to start a family which I didn't have an answer nor felt ready to tell him. He got upset and stormed out of our bedroom. It was weird since he suddenly pressured the idea." She ran her fingers through her hair in frustration. "Then I tried to talk it out with him before he was leaving to New York for work. Which he never told me about. Long story short, I blurted out I didn't want kids at all and he said nothing. His ride to the airport showed up for him to escape."
"My worst nightmare came true." She lightly chuckled, bringing her glass of wine to her lips. "Vanessa was right, we're not going to last long nor make it to the aisle at this point. I'm going to lose someone I love because he wants something that I don't.
Buck shared a remorseful expression. "I-I'm sorry, Josie."
"I'm sorry that I believe everything would magically work out." She took another sip and scoff to herself, trying to prevent any tears fall.
"Does he know the reason? Or, can I ask why you don't want any kids?" He curiously pondered. "I mean, you talk so much about your nephew, Diego which I presumed you'll love to have one of your own."
Josephine sucked in her breath as she decided to profess a reason that remain kept to herself. "At first, I did. When I started working at the 118 kind of opened my perspective and an old wound from childhood. As much as I loved my father, I hated him Buck...after he didn't come home that day. After he promised me, he left me." She choked on a sob. "He was supposed to come back to us that's why I hate him. Sure, first responders could balance having a family and work but I don't want to burden my children with what I went through, Buck." She helplessly looked into his eyes. "I understand my dad was a hero and good person yet it hurts that he's gone. He's missed so much and I just think about that a lot."
"If you were Bryan, what would you tell me?" She lowered her gaze.
Buck roughly sighed out, "Well, if you think that your reason sounds ridiculous then it isn't." He saw the brunette perk up. "You dealt with a lot of grief at a young age, especially losing a parent isn't the easiest to process. And, with a job that we have as first responders we combat through saving others and ourselves to walk through the fronts doors of our home. A home where our loved ones are waiting for, there are days where it doesn't happen for some people." He intensively looked into her eyes, placing a hand onto her shoulder. "Just know that you shouldn't feel like a burden to your children. You're capable of doing anything but I'll respect your decision. Having no kids shouldn't hinder the immense love I have for you."
Her lips quivered by Buck's soothing words, one that she wished to hear from Bryan's mouth. It drawn her into a sense of comfort to lean on. "That's what I would say if I was him." Buck subconsciously rubbed the pad of his thumb onto her shoulder, keeping his eyes intact into hers.
Silence breezed between them as they kept staring into each other's eyes. They both fell in a daze where they didn't realize how close their faces were. Just almost at brushing against each other's lips, Josephine's eyes widened and broke away. "Oh my god."
Stunned as well, Buck gaped. "Shit. Sorry-"
"It's fine. I-" Josephine's hands combed back her hair in shock.
"I should go." He quickly rose to his feet as he felt idiotic for his behavior. More so, registering what exactly happened a few seconds ago. "I'm sorry, Josie."
As he practically sped out of her place, Josephine called him out halfway standing on her feet. Buck spun around to meet her gaze again. "Um, thank you...for listening and telling me your thoughts. I-I really needed someone tonight."
"Of course, you can always count on me, Josie."
Ringing interrupted Josephine's trance as she blinked to realize how long she stood in reflection of that night. She picked up her phone to read out Bryan's name on the screen. Taking a deep breath, she brought the phone to her ear. "Hey." She whispered out, swallowing thickly.
"Hey." Bryan lowly spoke. "I-I know that we left things terribly, mostly me. But I hope we can talk it all out when I get back."
Josephine pursed her lips, nodding. "I would like that too."
He sighed, "I might have to stay a little longer to work out with the investors. A week if that's not a problem? I mean, I wish I didn't have to-"
"No, it's fine." Josephine hastily responded. "As much as I would like to have you back to sort things out, you are needed more over there. This is your company. I can wait."
"I love you, Josie."
"Love you too." She lastly said before they hung up.
As Josephine sunk into the cushions of the couch, her eyes darted at the engagement ring where she removed from her finger and onto the table. She brought the glass of wine to her lips contemplating alone in the penthouse.
-Oh, what did I just do hahaha. I was conflicted to write in that moment with Josie and Buck. If you think that this is the only drama stirring, you're wrong. You'll have to wait until the next couple of chapters to read which I'm excited to draft and post. Hope you like it! Tell me what you think! Don't forget to vote and comment! Stay tuned!-
WRITTEN: 5/2/21
PUBLISHED: 5/2/21