*Peter's POV*
Peter pulled the mask over his head with a mix of anxiety and enthusiasm rushing through him. Vibrating with the contrasting emotions, he pushed his window open and crawled out quietly.
He swung to the nearest building and began the small journey that would take him to Avengers Tower. The anxiety was slowly overtaking the enthusiasm as reality set in and he realized exactly what he was doing.
He was going to Avengers Tower where he would be training with Black Widow who was an Avenger.
Slowing down his swinging pace, Peter dropped onto a lower building and halted his progress towards the tall building. His legs felt unsteady now and he forced himself to stay upright. A strong churning in his stomach nearly made him hurl, which made him finally sit down.
There was no way any of this was real. He was going to Avengers Tower? As if. He was going to embarrass himself if he went. Peter had no training. He had his instincts, just like Black Widow said, and that had always saved his life. And he had picked up on certain techniques and fighting stances over the past few months, which had really helped him so far, but that did not make his qualified to train with Black Widow.
She wanted to train him, help him learn actual fighting tactics, techniques, stances, everything. But he was going to be an utter letdown if he went. Was he really going to embarrass himself with the Avengers just for a little training?
A burning crawled through his, making him want to scratch at his skin. Forcing away the urge to rip off his mask, Peter tried to take steadying breathes, but the fire still spread, strong and fast.
The heat spread up to his face and it felt like all the embarrassment and shame was trying to force its way out with blushing. The burn seeped away, but the heat stayed ever-present on his cheeks behind the mask.
His limbs sat at his side, numb and unmoving. Anytime he tried to move them he was met with a tingly sensation running through them and a weak feeling spread through his muscles, working its way to his head, which sent everything shutting down again.
Peter blew out a breathe, stiff. Time to get up. He was going to be late if he continued to sit on some random roof more than twenty minutes from the tower and feeling like he was ready to collapse from his insecurities.
With one final push, Peter moved and sat up a bit, feeling far too accomplished for something that should be so easy. After that, the movements came easier, making standing up much less of a hassle than it might have been earlier.
Standing on two unsteady feet and wobbling a lot worse than before, Peter stared across, seeing the distant outline of the tower. And another wave of nausea swept through him.
He couldn't go. There was no way he could just go. Turning around, Peter nearly started swinging back towards the apartment, when a small voice peeped up at the back of his mind. He still wanted to go. Embarrassment and shame were nothing that he couldn't deal with. Training with Black Widow sounded awesome and it was an honor that she ever offered to train him. Was he really going to repay her by skipping out on the training session because he was embarrassed?
Turning back around, Peter fired off a web and dropped off the building, knowing the web would catch him long before he hit the ground. He was going to train with Black Widow. And he would not freak out on her.
Swinging again, Peter felt himself drifting into a pattern, swing after swing towards the tower. By now it was about a fifteen minute journey that should not have felt like an eternity, but it did. Every swing actually seemed to add a few seconds to the time it was supposed to take to get to the tower, or maybe his thoughts were messing with his time frame.
Closing his eyes, even if it was probably not the best idea considering what he was in the middle of doing, Peter tried to calm his thoughts.
Maybe he shouldn't have complained about how long it was taking.
One final swing landed Peter on the roof of Avengers Tower, and he nearly fell off of it as a wave of anxiety, dizziness, and nausea all hit him at once.
Steadying himself and leaning forward so he didn't go tumbling headfirst off Avengers Tower, he took his time calming down a little and looking around. His heart pounded in his chest and his breathing was erratic, along with his trembling limbs and uneasy steps. So he did not look all that well at the moment, but he could still get a good view of the surrounding scenery.
No one was up there yet, whether they had been alerted of his arrival or they were just going to let him enter on his own, he had yet to determine. Black Widow had said she was going to meet him on the roof, but he might be a little early.
The roof was mostly empty, there was a place where the elevator was along with windows that were blacked out, most likely for privacy reasons. And there were some chairs and tables scattered around, probably a nice place to hang out during free time.
He felt like an intruder, standing in his suit on the roof (could he even call it that considering it was more like a balcony— put aside the helipad) and waiting for someone to show up. But he was too far in now and he was not going to just leave, he had already pushed as much embarrassment and anxiety as he could deep inside of him, leaving it bubbling out of him (but it was manageable).
Peter was almost convinced no one was coming, and he was about to turn and swing away in defeat when the elevator dinged open. Black Widow and Hawkeye came walking out, one looking satisfied and the other looking terrified (and just to clarify— Black Widow is not the one that looks terrified).
"Sorry to keep you waiting, Spidey." Black Widow (there has to be a shorter name to call her, seriously, Peter did not want to have to say that every time) said with a genuine tone, sending a glare to her teammate. "But someone decided to pop out of a vent and try to attack me like a child."
Not sparing her a second glance, Hawkeye came waltzing up to Peter and slung an arm around his shoulder. "Don't pay attention to her, Spidey, she's just mad that I actually caught her off guard."
"You did not." She mumbled, crossing her arms and leveling the older man with an icy scowl. "Now c'mon, I want to see how well you can fair off against me." She said with a smirk, almost looking cocky. The nervousness from earlier was slowly creeping away, though he still didn't want to embarrass himself.
The Avengers, well at least Black Widow and Hawkeye, were actually very laid back compared to what Peter had originally thought. He knew they could be serious at a moments notice, but it seemed off-duty they were just a bunch of people who were as close as a family.
As he was led into the elevator, an Avenger on each side of him, he had to suppress a snicker. Black Widow and Hawkeye acted suspiciously close to how siblings act, the constant bickering that hid how much they loved each other. But he didn't want to make it awkward, so he left his comment unsaid.
The elevator brought them down and down until a loud beep echoed through the elevator and the doors slid open smoothly. Black Widow and Hawkeye both stepped forward, unfazed by the huge room and all the equipment surrounding them. Peter felt his mouth drop open, but it was thankfully covered by his mask.
Taking small steps out of the elevator and looking around, he was amazed at all the high tech equipment. There was a line of fifteen treadmills, all fit with extra things like being able to incline and decline and so on. There was a whole separate room for weight lifting, full of dumbbells, weights, punching bags, and more. There was acrobatic equipment shoved to the back of the main training room, and there was a whole training section on the ceiling which Black Widow motioned to.
"Tony decided to install some Spider-friendly equipment." She said, as if that explained everything, and rolled her eyes. "He's trying to bribe you with money." Peter laughed and swung up to the new training place, planting his feet on the ceiling and using the equipment immediately. There were bars to test his upper strength and things to swing from, along with other small things he could test later.
Jumping back down, he landed beside Black Widow, who had an amused smile on her face. "So, do you think you're ready to train with me?" She asked, placing her hands on her hips, and smirking at him. Trying to hide his nervousness, he tried to act as cocky as possible and nodded.
He probably should have asked for some training first.
—
—
—
*Peter's POV*
Peter groaned as he was thrown to the ground, the wind was knocked out of him in an instant. He felt a wave of dizziness rush through him as he was slammed to the floor once again.
Black Widow was amazing and she had definitely beat him every time. Peter knew it was no fair to punish himself, but he felt like he should be able to do better. She was an Avenger so of course she was better than him, but shouldn't he be doing at least a little better?
But, once again, all she did was congratulate him and offer a hand. Gratefully accepting it, he pulled himself up and dusted himself off. "Wow." He breathed with a breathy laugh. "This is kinda embarrassing." He joked as they got into position again.
"Don't feel bad, Spidey, she's, like, awesome." Hawkeye called unhelpfully from somewhere on the sidelines, watching in amusement as Peter was thrown to the ground once again.
As Peter sat up and tried to compose himself, he heard the approaching steps of the team archer. "Why don't I take a turn, Nat?" Hawkeye offered, pulling Peter up by his armpits, which was already mortifying enough.
Peter looked up in time to see the ex-spy shrug and nod before walking off to the sidelines where Hawkeye had previously stood. He straightened his back and repositioned himself so he was facing the older man. With a nervous smile that no one could see, he fired a web to try and stick him to the ground, but the other man moved out of the way and fired an arrow towards Peter. Barely dodging it, he swung out of the way and landed barely five feet in front of Hawkeye, who he successfully tripped with a clumsily fired web.
Pulling himself together, Peter moved in and threw a lucky punch that landed on the archer's shoulder. Unfortunately, Hawkeye was able to swipe his feet under him, bringing him to the ground as well. Now at the advantage, Hawkeye brought his fist up and landed a strong blow to Peter's stomach.
Coughing, Peter webbed him in the face and crawled away so he could stand up and land a kick to the man's torso. As he fell, he webbed him to the ground, layering it just to be safe.
Pulling in a deep, shuddering breathe, Peter stumbled backwards and stared at Hawkeye, who was actually webbed to the ground.
The older man let out a curse before chuckling. "Shit, making me look like a noobie, Spidey." Hawkeye joked, struggling in the binds that held him to the ground. "Damn it— you win."
Feeling a spark of excitement rush through him, Peter jumped in victory and spun around. Black Widow was suddenly behind him, scaring the crap out of him. He jumped back and nearly fell as she crossed her arms and waited patiently for him to calm down.
"Free bird-head over there and then come talk to me." Black Widow said evenly, not fazed whatsoever at the fact that she nearly gave him a heart attack. "I want to discuss what I observed when we were fighting." She explained, turning and walking over to the weight room, the sound of punching emitting from the area as Peter spun to the struggling archer.
"Ah—" Peter mumbled as he moved to help the man. "Sorry about that." He apologized quietly, pulling out the chemical that dissolved the webs. "This can't hurt you—" Peter said hastily as Hawkeye eyed the vial nervously. "It just gets rid of the webs."
Peter poured the substance down the side, watching as the webs shriveled up where the chemical touched, and then pulled it off the rest of the way. Then he helped the archer up and took a few steps back to give the man some room.
"Don't feel sorry, Spidey, you're pretty damn good at fighting." Hawkeye praised, slinging an arm around Peter, who was practically glowing at the compliment.
"Uh, thanks—" Peter said, slightly flustered at the attention. "Really, it was so cool to fight you and Black Widow." The nervousness and anxiety from earlier was completely gone by now, replaced by a bubbly happiness and excitement.
"You aren't that bad yourself, Spidey." Hawkeye said, letting go of Peter and crossing his arms behind his head. "Anyway, I wouldn't keep Nat waiting if I were you."
Remembering the ex-spy in the other room, Peter snapped out of his happy moment and nodded. "Right! Thanks for reminding me." He said quickly, flipping backwards and bolting towards the room.
Slipping through the slightly open door, Peter turned in time to see Black Widow send a sickening kick to a poor, defenseless punching bag that got thrown three feet away. It landed with a resounding boom, dust emitting in a musty cloud. Swallowing the urge to cough at the dust particles now floating around, Peter took a few cautious steps towards the dangerous hero and waved timidly in case she hadn't noticed his arrival.
"Good— you're here." Black Widow mumbled off-handedly, pulling the punching bag off the ground and slinging it back on the hook. Turning around soundlessly, she stalked towards him and came to a stop in front of him. "First of all, for having no training technique, you are an excellent fighter." She praised softly, crossing her arms and not showing any emotion other than a small, hardly noticeable smile.
"Today you showed what you know and what I should teach you." She explained, eyeing him with a smirk. "Next time, I'll teach you some basic training techniques, fighting positions for defense and offense, some good tricks to use during fights— the things you seem to lack as of right now." Black Widow listed it off, leaving Peter slightly embarrassed, but excited for the next training session.
"Uh—" Peter started, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. "When is the next training session?" He asked with a small, nervous chuckle.
Rolling her eyes at him, Black Widow uncrossed her arms and smirked. "You don't have to be so nervous, I'm not going to attack you or anything." She warned him softly. "And, next training session is whenever you want, Spidey."
Peter halted and looked at her nervously, not knowing what to say. Everything was so hectic in his normal life, he hardly knew what days would be good or bad. May was also acting strangely, Peter felt like he needed to know how she was doing on the day before he even arranged any training sessions, but he had no idea how to explain that to Black Widow.
"Nothing needs to be decided today." Black Widow spoke with an amused tone, reading his body language as if it explained everything he was thinking. "When you find a good day, just say something over the comms and we can discuss a more precise time." She continued, unknowingly comforting his rising anxiety.
"Ah— thanks so much!" Peter said gratefully as Black Widow turned back around to the punching bag.
"No problem." She answered, pulling a quick punch that nearly knocked the punching bag down. "Just take the elevator up and you can go." Black Widow called over her shoulder, effectively ending the training session for the day.
Peter nearly skipped out of the weight room, going past Hawkeye as he went, and landed in the elevator with a happy sigh. As the elevator took him up to the roof, he felt himself finally relish in what just happened. Happiness and excitement flooded through him, he just trained with Black Widow and Hawkeye! That was the best thing ever.
And they were amazing! They were funny and chill and normal people. Sure, Peter knew they had lives and weren't always all serious and superhero mode, but it was almost surreal to seem them just training and having a relaxed conversation.
With a ding, the elevator doors opened and let Peter onto the roof, which he used to jump off of with a neat flip.
The past few weeks had been the suckiest weeks ever, but meeting the Avengers and getting to train with two of the members had definitely made things a lot better. He hadn't felt so happy in ages, it was a nice change of pace compared the the anxiety that had been constantly bothering him as of lately.
Though, as Peter swung to May's apartment, he couldn't help the feeling of loneliness that pricked the back of his mind. No one knew his identity, leaving him feeling a lot less excited as he realized he had no one who he could even talk to about this stuff.
Even the Avengers wouldn't understand, their identities were public. They couldn't quite understand the feeling of having to hide who you are from everyone you know.
Plopping down on his bed after taking off his suit and slipping into some baggy clothes, Peter let his eyes slip closed, the excitement had all but faded by now, leaving him feeling lonely and upset.