Twenty-Nine:
Dove
They say those with a clean house will brighten your mood.
At least, I hoped it would cheer Gedeon up when he sees the greenhouse back to its original state after rigorously cleaning, sweeping, and tending the area. After disposing of every single dead vines, leaves, and debris; the place looked sparkling new again.
All there was left to do now was fill in the pots with seeds now that the soil had been added. Picking up my tools and basket, I decided it'll be best to work on the exterior of the greenhouse first and work my way in. Bending down, I began to tend the soil with a small smile on my face as I wondered when Gedeon would be coming back.
"What are you doing?" A voice snapped me out of my thoughts. For a second, I stared at the ground, stunned and surprised that I thought I was hearing this for a moment. I turned my head, still kneeling on the floor as I peered up at who it was, even though I already knew at this point.
Gedeon was towering over me, both hands in his slack's pocket. His hair was slicked and wet from what I assumed to be a shower before coming back. It made him look like he belonged in some magazine or show that Anastasia loved showing me to keep me company the past few days. In a dark navy suit finished with a black tie that was undone, it made him look handsome, especially with his five o'clock shadow. He pushed his sunglasses up to his head, and I was puzzled by the look on his face and the emotion that swirled in his eyes.
"Gedeon, you're back," I smiled up at him, my heart at peace to see he was okay. He had left in a rush three days ago and no matter what I said, Aleksei and Nicolai refused to tell what was happening.
I thought I would see him grinning or smirking like he would usually, but his face remained cold and stoic. In fact, it looked as if he was glaring at me from where I was kneeling as he gritted out, "I asked you a fucking question, sweetheart."
"Oh," I swallowed and slowly gestured to the garden.
Though before I could say anything, I saw Timor jogging up behind him. His eyes landed on me and widened before he took in what I had done to the greenhouse and the pile of trash bags that were filled with the piles of leaves and branches. "Oh, shit. Gedeon, you –"
"Go back into the estate," he commanded lowly. "And have Aleksei explain what happened to you. I'll meet you in the basement later."
Timor still didn't budge as he stared at Gedeon who's whole attention was on me. "She doesn't know that –"
"Now," Gedeon lashed out harshly, making me unconsciously flinched at his sudden outburst. It had been a while since he had lashed the way he did and I guess I had forgotten who he really was. He looked upset for a moment as I casted my head downwards out of habit. That only caused Gedeon to be more upset as he cursed under his breath. I heard footsteps retreating, which I know Timor had listened to his command. After a moment of silence, I heard him taking a shaky breath and his voice was calmer. "Sweetheart, I asked you a question, now look at me. What are you doing?"
I swallowed the lump in my stomach at his nickname indicating he was angry and slowly peered up at him from the ground. "I'm gardening."
"But why here?" he asked through gritted teeth, like he couldn't believe the words coming out of my mouth. I slowly tried to shift my weight from my knees from the ache that was forming from me kneeling so long in the concrete patio. With a nose flared, he growled as he held out his hand in front of me. "Get up from the floor before you infect your damn knees that isn't healed yet."
Gently, I grabbed onto his hand that he offered. Once on my feet, I dusted off the soil off of my apron with my free hand. My gaze went to my hand that was still in his and he pulled away as if I burned him. The tension was still there and without another word, I finally decided to pull out the flower seeds. "I've finished planting and cleaning up most of the estate. I thought, since you were gone, I could help you done some spring cleaning since winter is over. The greenhouse seemed to be rundown and it's rather beautiful to not use it. I was hoping to plant some sunflowers, roses, and my favorite flowers inside the greenhouse. Well, it's not just my favorite flowers but also Mother; the hydrangeas."
He sucked in a breath at the flower's name and gripped onto one of the pillars. I bit my bottom lips nervously, especially when I saw his hand was turning white from the way he was gripping onto it. He looked so angry, and I was surprised he didn't try punching something like he usually did. When his eyes found mine, he realized I was trembling, even though I was willing myself to stop. "Shit."
"I..." I trailed off for a moment, trying to gather my voice. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."
"Why are you apologizing," he grounded out through gritted teeth. I didn't want to be shoved back into my room and locked away. I should have just stayed doing the two things I enjoyed and didn't anger him like reading or painting. He already gave me more than I thought was possible by allowing me to roam the estate and the outside freely, and here I was cleaning up somewhere I shouldn't be. I didn't even ask for permission. More than anything else, I didn't like the look on his face. It pained me, like someone was holding my heart and squeezing it hard. I didn't know why, but I hated it.
"Because I shouldn't have without asking you," I whispered, tugging my apron as I lowered my head to the ground. I was trained to apologize for anything I did wrong, but right now, I meant it. "I had forgotten to ask, because Aleksei said I could a few weeks ago."
"It's fine, don't worry about it. It's too late now," he exhaled, pain and anger still swarming around his eyes. I wanted to ask what I did wrong, but I knew I shouldn't push him. Judging from Timor before, the greenhouse wasn't meant to be touched.
Did it belong to someone else before me? Someone of that importance and secrecy?
A lover of some sort?
The green-eyed monster clawed its way back up again until he turned back to me. His eyes were guarded and cold. "Did anything happen while I was gone?"
I blinked a few times at his strange question. The three days have been about the same, though about two hours ago, Aleksei left me to tend the greenhouse on his own with panic in his eyes. Yet when I asked, he chuckled and said it was nothing. I shook my head at his question. "No, not that I knew."
"You sure about that?" he pressed on while taking another step towards me. I remained like a deep rooted plant, refusing to give him the satisfaction as I held onto my own ground. I didn't like the cold and hard demeanor on his face. It wasn't like him. He was serious, yet playful at times. Caring in his own way and protective. Right now, it was as if I didn't know who he was. "You better not be bullshitting me."
I nodded. "Why? You're acting strange since—"
"Does Anthony Genovese sound familiar to you?" he asked, cutting me off.
The name made my stomach churn and I had to stop myself from recoiling or holding my stomach from wanting to puke. I did know him, but what did that have to do with anything? Wetting my dried lips, I nodded once more. "He...he's my cousin, adopted from—"
"He was found sneaking around the estate looking for you."
My eyes widened like saucer plates. "What?"
"And I'm trying to find out why he knew where you've been. Why an Italian knew a place where no one else should know in the first place after almost twenty plus damn years," he growled out. "Unless we have a fucking spy here."
I narrowed my eyes in response. "Are you implying that's me?"
"I don't know, is it?"
I refused to allow him to see how hurt his words made me while I shaked my head. I never for a moment had contacted my Father since he gave me away, nor did he give any indication that he wanted to even see me either. Yet...to send Anthony here or all people was like a slap in the face by him. "No, I haven't even used any electronics or kept in touch with anyone since I've arrived."
"So you would have if you could?" he asked, twisting my words. His eyes watched me, watched for any signs that I was lying. If he was looking for any, he wouldn't find it.
"No, I wouldn't."
I wanted nothing to do with them. I wanted to forget my past. Forget my nightmares, if I can.
"So," he drawled out slowly, still didn't look convinced. "Isn't it weird how your cousin who seems the closest to you from what he was able to tell Aleksei was able to find out where you are? Something isn't adding up."
I caught myself from scoffing by his know-it-all demeanor. "We weren't close, at all."
"Funny, because that's not what he told Aleksei," he continued. It seemed no matter what I had to say, it wouldn't matter anyways. Someone who only wanted to see what he wanted to see, much like everyone else in this industry.
A dry chuckle escaped me, and I dared myself to stare at him head on. "Just say it's me then."
"So it is."
"No, it's not. But in your head, you don't believe me anyways no matter what I say. I don't know how he's here, I don't know why he knew where this place is."
"But you're close to him? And don't try lying because I have proof you're both close."
"What proof?" I shot back, growing more and more heated. "You're not even listening to me."
I took one step forward and with all my might, I tried to shove him away. To let my anger take a hold of me; like he was the match and I was the gasoline. Every fiber in my body wanted to lose my demeanor of keeping it together, and he was the only one that was ever able to let me feel anything. My palm barely touched his chest before he grabbed my wrist, giving them a squeeze. "You want to try that again, sweetheart?"
"I don't know, are you going to listen?"
Though the corner of his lips twitched up slightly, it was gone just as quickly. He yanked me closer to him. With his hands still tightly wrapped around my wrists, he held me in place. "I am listening, and I find it annoying nothing is adding up. He's able to answer most things about you, meaning you were both close."
"Look, we grew up together in the same estate. He was close with Robert since they were the same age being ten years older and—"
"So you both were close," he retorted. "Just say it like that then."
Rage engulfed me at his assumption and not letting me tell my side of the story. I could feel my heart beating erratically in my chest as he crashed my chest onto his. Body heat seeped from his body to me, further causing my emotion to spiral. "No, I was...was raped by him, okay? I was raped by him and Robert and all his other friends. Is that what it takes for you to believe me now? Is that what it takes for you to know that besides our last name, I don't know him personally?" I spat. When he flinched at my confession, a part of me liked it. Liked to see him hurt because of how much he had done to me by pinning it to me. It made sense, but it also clawed at me angrily. "We were close when we were children before either of us knew anything. Are you happy now?"
I tried breaking away from his hold, but to no avail. His eyes softened, filled with compassion and anger. He snaked one arm around my waist, holding me close to him tightly. The other hand cupped my face and momentarily, he was the Gedeon I knew. The Gedeon that cared about me more than anyone in this world had besides Mother. "Precious."
"You don't have the right to accuse me without hearing me first," I whispered. I refused to lean into his touch and give him the satisfaction of allowing him to comfort me. I needed to put up the armors I didn't know when they started to crumple. Go back into the back of my mind to hide from my emotions. I forced a smile on my face, though I wanted nothing more than to hide from the memories as I pushed him away. "I mean, it made sense you don't trust me, but you should have at least heard me out first."
He tried to make a grab for me again and I recoiled.
"Don't touch me," I bit out harshly. I hated the space between us, and I hated more than I wanted to be near him, safe and protected. With the proper distance and thankful he didn't try to close the distance between us, I gestured to the greenhouse. "I'm sorry with cleaning up the greenhouse without your permission. I am. I'm sorry that you have so much to deal with right now, but I'm not sorry for lashing out on you like that. You can't assume everything, the same advice you told me. I don't know why Anthony is here, or how or why he was able to find out where the estate is. But I refuse to sit back and let you accuse me for being a spy to anyone. Not to my Father or anyone who has rap—"
"Don't fucking say that word again," he snarled, cutting me off. His body was rigid, and I knew he was fighting himself from walking over to me.
"Why? Can't handle it?" I shot, placing one hand on my hips. It wasn't anything new, it was something he should know from my Father. "I lost my virginity the night I lost my mother when I was fourteen. He was twenty-five. It didn't stop from there. It never stopped."
A loud growl ruptured from his lips. "It's not that I can't handle it. I don't want to be reminded or I'll fucking kill Anthony before I can get information out of him for hurting you." He balled his hands into fists, and I knew he was close to losing his control. His eyes were pure rage, yet I wasn't scared. "I'll kill anyone who dared touch you."
My panties shouldn't be dripping when he said that. His possessive nature bordered between insanity and dangerous. Yet, it was something about it that made my body buzz with pure adrenaline and excitement. Swallowing and trying to keep the heat forming in my cheeks at bay, I looked away. "Then you'll have to stain your hands a lot."
"Give me a damn list," he demanded. "I'll have them all dead by the end of the week."
"No, because it doesn't matter," I gritted out, closing my eyes. His words cutting deep as he drew out how willingly far he'll take it for me. It wasn't worth it and the last thing I wanted was for me to be owing Gedeon. I looked away from him, back to the estate. "It's not as bad compared to when someone you care about doesn't trust you and accuses you."
"I...I need some time alone for now to clear my head," I whispered after a moment of silence. When he doesn't say anything, I slowly turn my head back inside. I didn't know what I was expecting from him. He didn't owe me an apology, nor did he need to trust me.
Somewhere between the time I was here, I had forgotten my place as their nothing.
Yet, I could make myself useful.
Back in the estate, I was thankful to see Aleksei was the only one in the living room. He was on his phone though soon as he saw me walking in, he frowned. "What's wrong?"
"How do you know something's wrong?"
At that, he put away his phone and strolled up to me. Ruffling my hair lightly, he laughed. "I mean, I've been with you for about a month now, you'd think I would know how to read your mood at this point. Not to mention, you're really easy to read. You and Gedeon got into a fight?"
"Something like that," I confessed honestly. I didn't know what else to call or make of what happened outside. Judging by how Aleksei didn't know that the greenhouse was also off limits, it only added to the mystery about why. But right now, it was the last thing on my last. Playing with the hem of my sweater, I cleared my throat. "Aleksei, can you do me a favor?"
He curiously cocked his head to the side. "What's up?"
"Gedeon told me you found and held someone captive that was found in the estate. Someone I know," I mumbled. His body stiffened slightly as I continued. "I was hoping you'll take me to see him."
He sucked in a sharp breath at my request. "I don't think—"
"I need to see him," I cut him off, my hands latching out to grip his arm. I needed to know why he was here and prove to everyone I wasn't a spy. "Because it seems he's here for me and I know he won't tell you. But he'll tell me."
"Well I know that part," he shrugged one shoulder. "But Gedeon forbids us from telling you about it, or letting you see him for that matter long before he came back."
"And I'm revoking it," I drew on my strongest voice, but to no avail when he shook his head.
"No, Gedeon's words are final on this one. He specifically told me to not let you go down to the basement chamber or he'll personally skin me." He gave me an apologetic smile before his phone buzzed loudly in his pocket. He took it out and right and cursed. "Sorry, Dove. I have to take this one." I slowly loosened my grip onto him and held my chin to make me look at him. "Dove, you shouldn't get involved in these things anyways. Gedeon doesn't want you to stress too much. He cares."
I almost laughed at his last words.
Gedeon doesn't want me to be involved because he thinks I'm nothing but a spy.
Fine, if he won't take me to him, I'll do it myself when everyone is asleep. With the new goal in mind, I ended up in my room while planning for the rest of the night. I never been down there, but I had a good understanding of the layout of the estate after a month. After supper, and I was sure everyone was in bed, I took a deep breath of courage. Finishing up my sketch I've done on another page of Little Women, I started preparing myself.
Shoving every pillow into the comforter in the shape of a body in case Gedeon checked through the cameras, I snuck out the room as quickly and quietly as possible. Though I almost had a panic attack when I realized Gedeon's office door was opened. Peering in, my eyes caught onto him sleeping on the couch looking rather uncomfortable.
His suit was off, slung onto the nearby chair. His feet dangled off the couch as he was much taller and fit compared to the tiny couch. His hair was sticking up everywhere and his eyebrow from where I was crinkled together. I debated for a while as I stood there, shifting from one foot to the other. The window of the office was open and the last thing I would want was him catching a flu.
My feet moved before I could process. Crossing into the room, I carefully shuffled into it. Taking the throw blanket from the chair, I laid it over him. I stilled when he mumbled something inaudible under his breath before settling down. Even though my heart panged of what went on this morning, a tiny part of me still beat wildly as I stared at him. In his sleeping form, much like the first time when he fell asleep after carrying me into my room made him look less defensive and stressed.
Brushing a small portion out of his face, I slowly rubbed at the crease on his forehead. It was something my Mother had done before for as long as I remembered it. Gradually but surely, the creases on his forehead goes away as a small exhale escapes his lips. Tucking the blanket upper, I creeped out of the room, I made my way down into the living room and then towards the back of the estate. From my understanding, there was only one way down. It was a part of the estate I've never gone before, though I've caught everyone else besides Anastasia going down there.
Imagine my surprise when I saw the door I thought was going to be locked up opened.
I blinked a few times in shock. Processing this was probably my only chance, I descended the creaky stairs. Unlike the rest of the estate, the basement was in shambles. Cobblestones made up the bottom floor, and I could hear the trickle of water hitting the floor every few seconds. A chill ran down my spine, almost crippling me with the assault of my past in Robert's basement myself.
Reaching the bottom of the stairwell, a humorless chuckle made me turn.
"Well, if it isn't Robert's little pigeon."
Hanging chained from two sides of the shackle from each corner of the wall from the small room on the left, he didn't look like the same man as before when I was with Father back in the estate. In fact, he was barely even able to lift his head high enough to look at me. The room reeked and was covered in bruises and huge slash markings with blood trickling down. He looked helpless and defensive less for once. I swallowed, taking another step towards him while trying to see my eyes away from whatever Gedeon had done to him.
"The pigeon won't even look trash now, huh?" he chuckled lowly under his breath. "Can't even care to see what the Russian dogs do to our family now that you're living the high life being Gedeon's slut instead of Robert's? Think you're worthy now?"
I exhaled lightly, swallowing my bundle of nerves as I met his eyes. "Are you okay?"
"What the fuck does it look like?" he snapped back harshly. "If it wasn't for your guard dog, I wouldn't be here, would I?"
"I didn't know you were going to be here or...how to help you either right now," I warily replied. In fact, I didn't know if I could help him. Despite everything bad he had done, I still didn't think he had to be chained up on the wall and tortured. Yet, I knew this was the world I was born into. This was the world I was married into. "I'm sorry you're enduring this."
"Always the fucking goodie two shoes act of yours, even when we were kids," he spat under his breath. He wiggled his arms and the chain clunks loudly against each other before his eyes found mine again. "You can by being a good little bird and coming back to Robert for all this shit to end," he uttered. "Come back to Robert for this war to end, so my death won't be in vein."
I still didn't understand what he was going on about since I've come down here, but I knew I couldn't stick around for too long either. It was only a matter of time before Gedeon decided to check and when he did, I knew he would say something. "War? What...what exactly are you talking about?"
He quiets for a moment, the trickling of water from the pipe down to the drainage echoes loudly. Then, he cocked his head to the side, his mouth parted slightly momentarily. "They didn't tell you?"
"Tell you what?"
"Gedeon...didn't tell you," he went on, his grin widened. "He didn't tell you about anything, because..." he laughs, his voice bouncing off the walls as I flinched at his sudden booming voice. "Oh, this is too good, I never would have thought. I wished I could stay alive enough to let your Father know and see the reaction on his face along with Robert."
"What?" I asked, more confused than before that he wasn't making any sense to me.
"Robert has called for gang warfare against Sokoloff, against the whole Russian families in the city about three days ago." he stated and my body frigid at the declaration. Gedeon had been done for three days, and when he came back, he had then assumed I was a spy because of everything that happened. "You should have gotten a message on Robert's behalf. So when you didn't do anything, I was sent to personally get you."
"A message from Robert?" I replied, feeling like I couldn't breathe for a moment. The room spun in wondering what he wanted me to know, besides coming back to him. Going back to him meant a beating much worse than before. He would kill me for it. Yet, the thought of a war between the two families sounded worse. "A war between the Russians and Italians? How do we stop it? Wha—"
"Even now, you choose to play the innocent martyr. Really?"
"I don't know—"
"Yes, you do. You know how to stop it," he said confidently. "You're choosing to think there's no other way, like usual. There's only one solution. You go back to Robert and take the rightful throne as their Queen. As our queen, what you were born for. That's the only way to stop it. If your selfish ass father didn't give you up for a chance to become the next ruler which is not going to happen anyways, this whole thing wouldn't have blew up to where it is now. People, thousands, will die because of you, do you know that?"
"Thousands?" I whispered.
"Thousands," he firmly nodded his head. "And this is just the beginning."
"What?"
"But it can all be stopped if you go back to Robert. One life to save thousands is a pretty good deal, isn't it?" he bargains. "That was what the message was relayed from Robert to you and Gedeon. He'll forgive you for running away," he continued on. "So, Dove, now that you're given an open cage, what will you do? Go back to Robert or stay here and let everyone here be slaughtered? Either way, it doesn't matter because your husband is going to kill me by morning."
"I don't go back to him," I choked out, rubbing my wrists as if they were on fire. "You've seen what he's done to me."
"It's cute to think you even ever had a choice in this world," he wickedly smiled. His eyes gleam in humor at my shakiness. Just like Robert and everyone else in the families, they get pleasure in seeing me cry. My head pounded furiously against me as he continued on. "You care about your Russian husband, don't you? He treats you better than Robert by how free and strong you look right now; it makes me sick. They make you think you matter, a woman with power. A pigeon."
"We're done talking," I gritted out. I needed to escape before I hurled. Turning to make my way out, he called out to me. His statement made my blood run cold.
"Sei la sua debolezza. Ed è tuo."
You are his weakness. And he's yours.
The unspoken truth out in the air like dirty laundry for all to see. It was only a matter of time before Robert would get to me. Only a matter of time before he and everyone else found out how much Gedeon has sheltered me by keeping me in the dark. Yet I refused to believe it was because he cared about me that I was his weakness.
He just hated to lose, and I was nothing more than a pawn in his games.
This afternoon proved it.
Up in my room, I kept it together. I didn't dare do anything else until I got into the washroom and collapsed. My knees finally gave out as I hit the tile floor in my own miserable hell. The room felt trapping, with the door closed and with no windows in sight that made me feel suffocated. Tears started to streak down my face at rapid speed as I held onto my chest. Everything Anthony said rang in my head the rest of the night.
I thought I was more, I thought I would finally have a difference. For once, I thought I was free and accumulated more than nothing. But it was the opposite, and only a matter of time before the alliance was called off officially and Gedeon would see the truth to what it was.
I was nothing.
Thank you again for sticking around, Beautiful!
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