A/N
After trying out two genres that played with themes such as mystery and psychological drama- I wanted to try my hands at lighthearted read. A little blend of humor and romance. And the first person that I felt can do justice with such a composition was Lee. I had this in my mind for a long time now and had it planned as a NaNo project. As usual- I procrastinated. But now- I am around this app again. And I'll do my best to make this a relaxing read. You can also easily notice the alteration and change in my writing style because the blueprint demands for it to be in such way. But I personally feel like I'll have fun crafting this technique of writing as well.
Thank you for all the love showered on my works. If you are a new reader and doesn't have a clue of what I am going on about? It's ok, this can be read as a stand-alone too.
Enjoy.
***
SHIN
It had been a month, I felt as if I had been chewed up like a piece of gum. Tasted to test for its flavour then spitted out when they found me inconvenient. There was no instant reasoning why there hasn't been a response to the acceptance of the proposal on our part. So was I devastated? Thoroughly yes. I would lie if I hadn't been looking forward to meeting him. It has been my to do list. Maybe don't marry me. Can't he just go on a simple date with me so I can finally have an experience at it?
Being homeschooled comes with its pros and cons since I was able to avoid social gatherings that kept triggering my social anxiety- I must've celebrated my freedom so early in childhood as I at present struggled with general interactions consequently. I am an adult with zero experience of functioning like a grown-up in society. I at times bless a waitress for serving me. A thank you that transforms to bless you? Sucks to be me. Lucky them, they get my blessing.
Fast forward, year's later I sprouted into a woman with a tolerant mind. Hiding my weakness behind my strong gaze helped me stay tall in any situation. After a decade of worrying about what will happen and if it happens- I gathered that the key to live life is to not give a dime about the future. Live in today rather than lose yourself to tomorrow.
So when I left Seoul last week to attend an international writers conference held in Manila Philippines. I wasn't anticipating the number of writers and beginners pouring in for the lectures. Aren't we readers stereotyped to be the laziest species that roamed the grounds of the earth?
I eat dry cereals if I am out of milk. Going out is- terrifying. To dress, to smile at the cashier, to hold the groceries and to-
I just don't have a life. I do want to go out in the evenings. And weekends. But there is no one I could trap. I am a coward for that. I don't believe in love, but I do believe in having fun and making friends who like you without expectations. They are there to buy you milk for fruit loops, prepare kimchi fried rice to go with it, have long drives at night to an unsafe route, or watch the paintings in the gallery and agree with me that the person is uselessly naked and can't understand what his reasons are.
But no- I get rejected even before a person meets me. Splendid.
My stomach rumbles with hunger, adding to my misery was the man beside me who kept trying to have a conversation with me. He was from United states with German heritage, not more than thirty-five years of age, curly hair, thick brows, and slightly pouch but flat stomach with healthy hairline- he wanted to know my view on freelancing.
"I am up for it. I like to test my abilities to their core. Scoring various skills you see"
He said, his thick German accent in tune with my fake Korean one. I had Australian tutor- so my accent falls somewhere in between, self acquired one.
"That's admirable" I smiled my pearly teeth on display for him by force.
"What do you do? Apart from delivering mind blowing scripts." he whispers, not to disturb the people around us. The room was dark, only the stage with presenter lit with slides who spoke on the topic of Roman philosophy. Everyone was deep into it- exclude me, I was here miles away from home to answer mister Fischer if I would like to work with a target time project "Do you want to try something else?"
There he goes. Grilling me to consider his offer of joining the A list movie director he assists as a screen writer. If he brings this up one more time I would be compelled to speculate that he was only here to convince me to sell my books rights for movie adaptation.
"What do you say?"
There it is.
He is here for it. There is no common manner a man can approach with such big offer out of his pocket. He was sent here.
So I do my part.
"No. I like to leech off my parent's fortune sir"
I politely offer my desire. He looks at me, his prematurely aging eyes squints under the dim fluorescent. Then he cracks out laughing, so hard that it paused the activity in the room for a second. My complex anxiety kicks in when every single eyes in the room diverts at us, swallowing I wipe the greasy sweat off my hot neck with the paw sleeve of the sweater I wore.
I know I must've gone rigid, like a drugged chicken. Blank yet wonderous. Mister Fischer bubbles an apology as I watch him do it effortlessly. When everything falls to its naturalness- he looks at me worried.
"Are you fine miss Han? You went white for a moment there"
Biting my lips I nod, waiting for my heart to relax as I looked ahead.
"You know what? I am freelancing my whole life" then I grab a bottle of water, angrily unscrewing the cap I chug the hydrant down. Crossing my legs and sinking plush on the seat I sigh "I probably also will die a single woman"
***
The morning I woke up, that's it. I opened my eyes and remained sprawled in bed. Swinging my legs once in a while for movement. Spanning my arms as if to make a snow angel I let out a tired yawn, the white comforter wrinkles at my feline behavior. I practice my jaw exercise so that I can maintain a jawline. I still had some residue of baby fat left behind, people usually mistake me for a teenager because of it. It isn't that pleasant to watch me stretch my mouth, open and close my mouth like a chimp globbing up their meal.
Then I exist and think-
What possibly can I do for today?
Roam around lonely in the streets. Eat alone in a fancy restaurant and also drive with both my hands on wheels with no one to hold one. At twenty-two I was a pathetic excuse- how can they all flirt so easily. As if it's something that comes inherently to them.
That's it.
I Sat up with the cluster of hair falling over my face, rubbing my nose roughly I stared out of the glass wall window from where sunlight streams through. I cringed at the bill I might receive for staying at such a hotel over the week. Mister Fischer was the closest acquaintance I made so far- maybe I can ask him if he wants to go buy matching friendship pajamas with me?
Or I could look into the contract for him.
I've received such offers in the past, but none came from a person so persistent as Mr. Fischer.
Shaking the tempting thoughts off- I groan. It's not possible, this was too big a deal. I need time for this and I know I'll deny it later. I can't have Hollywood ruining a masterpiece because their budget lacks.
I lay their in a fetus position, scrolling through Instagram for an hour. The rule states that you waste your spirit in social media until it's time you realize-
What am I doing?
Then finally you go back to scrolling a minute more- then I got off the bed, my blue silk pants and shirt making it easier for me to slip to the ground as I rolled. We all have different kinds of fears- but mine was mine to me. So I got washed, dressed up, and walked out. I jumped startled when a service boy wished me good morning, I managed one too. It wasn't good riddance I told- a perfect chirpy good morning. Nothing could go wrong in that- he can't judge me for what was to be expected. Then I tapped on the contact of Mister Fischer- he gave me his number, told me I could call him anytime I felt like I needed help. He was a learned scholar and I wrote sappy romance for quick cash.
No offense to Dan Brown. But my books can make one speechless, it's just so full of spineless characters- that one simply cannot understands what kind of audience it targets. Even though I don't know what prompted it to become a bestseller- so when I step out there was a line of three, two girls, and a boy in the lobby seated with a hardcopy of my previous release. I smile, hugged them, narrated some heartfelt thing about their country and signed their copy.
The boy blushed, he probably was some good year's younger than me, lanky, nerdy, and nervous. I pat his cheeks adoringly. In an alternate dimension, I was passing out because of the attention. My rings click against the metallic pen as I scribbled a note for him,
Thanks for spending your savings on buying a hard copy.
No one ever should be my fan!
As I left I exercised breathing, took a cab met Fischer at a local flower shop. He was there with his beautiful wife and two young daughters. They gawked at my clothing, I had a shirt with skull imprint on, black leather pants wrapped my legs, metallic chains fastened like a chocker across my neck and the dark lipstick I wore did the job of frightening the girls.
I wore every little thing that I wasn't able to wear when my family was around. An emo phase as they call it.
"What a gorgeous little doll" exclaimed Fischer's wife Martha.
Wait- so I don't get judged here?
"You are breathtaking" I breathed, suddenly waved of happiness at her appreciation towards me. She indeed was stunning. Tall, tanned, and typical upper state housewife- someone who belongs in a book where she kills her husband on their fifth anniversary to inherit his thirty-million dollar estate.
I don't tell her that.
But she will be an inspiration for such a book in the market one day.
"My husband here told me everything about you" she hugged me, her green drape dress flows with her shifts. I just crinkle with every step. "Such a bright young mind. I googled you last night"
What did she found?
I just realize my details were a mere click away.
"she has been so restless ever since" he adds
"I can see that" I smile.
"My girls wanted to meet you too" she ushered the children towards me while mister Fischer grinned, he was attractive for a man who has lived almost half of his life. Fit and happy- so when I smiled at the girls Mrs. Fischer began in a sickly sweet voice.
"Go girls, tell the lady how much your father loves their family and doesn't want a stranger to ruin our vacation but he is just too nice to decline any addition made"
Many smiles drop, except hers. Even the plumpy cashier who had been watching the scene with warm motions shook her head in disappointment.
"Darling, you can't " Mr. Fischer said horrified. He must have felt the loss he might endure because of this.
"Yes, I can Aldo. I am not risking you to an innocent-looking young Asian girl who has nothing better to do than tag along with some strangers family"
I did not even know he had a family. But okay.
"I know her" he fought back. She moved to scowl, I looked at the girls sadly. They must be terrified. This does seem like an everyday occurrence. She will be the killer bitch in a book soon. Mark my words.
"He knows you from yesterday, now since you see you are not favored here you may leave" she huffed flinging her satchel.
Committing to her demands I bowed my head lowly, overwhelming emotions clouded me- but before it could pour like a storm I had one last thing to do as I accepted defeat.
"Okay boomer"
Turning around on my heels I leave the shop, sniffing whenever my eyes stung with the hurt I withstood. I walked, left then right then left again on street.
Damn you nice man for being nice when you don't have a nice wife.
So when I bump my shoulder by an iron post I hold onto it tightly. Compression causing my knuckles to flush white as I gritted my teeth. Half a minutes goes by such-
I felt a hand on my shoulder, I flinched at the pain. It was a recent victim of pole attack- so when I looked up and saw Mister Fischer, I groaned. Slapping my hands on my knees in dismay.
"Wasn't the show enough?" I murmured, shoving my hair behind my face snappily.
His stature remained passive. But with his guilty gaze, he opened his logically apologetic mouth to say-
"I was like you"
You don't even know me.
"I know when I see one"
Then how are you so- public?
"Stop giving heed to what others say or think"
Easier said than done.
"There always is someone waiting for you"
As if I haven't been told that like a million times. As if I haven't pointedly lied about hope consistently.
He hands me a single red rose and bowed with lively blue eyes. With a smile, he walked away buttoning up his blazer.
How can he be like me when he was so-
I don't get to finish my thoughts as my phone rang, picking it up skipping a glance at the caller's id I press it by my ear.
"Hello?"
"Oh hello, sissy" I can sketch his annoying dimpled smile through his utterance.
"What do you want? Wait- why are you in my room?"
The line goes dead for a second.
"How do you know I am in your room" there was the grip of hesitation by him that had me grinning. All I had to do was try and lie my theory.
"Look around. I have cameras all over"
He shrieked. Then there was a train of shuffles and fallouts
"How could you. I could've been dancing around in my underwear. I thought I had the house to myself" he barked.
"I like to keep tabs on pests"
"You call me an insect? If so I'd rather be mothra or Rodan. The fire demon"
My face twists with disgust. Don't get me wrong, I love monster verse but my younger brother was addicted to them. He is fifteen if one wonders.
"Anyhow. When are you coming home?"
Scowling I look at the bright blue sky.
"Tomorrow" I sigh. I don't think I genuinely wish to return home.
But-
"Great. Mail me the flight details. Dad got a call from Mr. Kim. Your suitor wishes to pick you up from the airport"
He then hung up. Leaving me to fend courage for myself. I do hate my brother. But sometimes he is the closest to a friend I have. So I call him back.
"What is it now?" He puckers sassily. A hint of a smile on his intonation.
"For real?" I ask balancing my excitement. But fail invariably.
"Stop freaking out Shin" he advises.
I don't.
***
Tell me what do you think? Are we ready to meet Lee?
And how is shin doing so far?🙃