" She's one of us, Nina, "
- K.B
"SHE ISN'T WAKING UP,"
"You're a fucking healer,"
"I can't hear her heart,"
"Fuck,"
___
"Mama," The young Zemeni crawled into her mother's arm. The thin nightgown brushing against her thin ankles. Growing up, Natasha Van Doren had been nothing but bones, a literal skeleton wandering the small villages of Ketterdam.
The little family had travelled here by boat, seeking asylum from the Council of the Tides. They had been granted a small beach house until Mr Van Doren was able to find work on the harbour. "I'm so bored,"
The girl sulked, dropping onto the red footstool. Her mother was shucking peas with a crooked knife, her fingertips rough but warm. "I want to go play outside. Why can't I go play outside?"
"The outside is not good for a girl like you," Ms Van Doren reached out, catching Natasha's screwed fists in a single palm. "The barrel is a bad place for little ladies,"
"I am big, mama," Natasha flounced onto her feet, curtseying on the cold kitchen floor. "I can look after myself," She dropped down beside her mother, flicking peas against the wall. "Mama, please, I want to make friends,"
"Friends do not exist," Ms Van Doren said darkly. "Pray to your saints, eat your peas, and listen to what your mother says," She drew Natasha to kiss her forehead, patting the space beside her on the floor. "Now help me make dinner before papa comes home."
___
"Go to hell, Brekker,"
"Do your job, Zenic,"
___
"Can you keep a secret?" Natasha had been wearing gloves for as long as she could remember. Black satin gloves that crawled up to her elbows. The fingertips were slit, its palm embroidered with eclipsed suns.
Kaz Brekker hadn't asked questions. He wondered what she might be hiding. Claws - was she a witch? Or maybe she was in an accident or fire and her hand melted into the bones? His gaze twitched down to her gloved palm.
"Yes,"
Natasha sighed deeply, grabbing his hand and pushing it into her chest. "Swear you won't tell a soul,"
"I don't make promises,"
"Then I won't tell you,"
Natasha crossed her arms over her chest, eyeing Kaz. After several contemplated moments, Kaz sighed. "Fine," he breathed. Kaz watched closely, as she pulled the gloves from her fingertips, keeping them close in her lap.
Her hands looked normal. Dainty fingers, clean skin, normal cut nails. There were no burns, no bones and especially no claws. Kaz gasped in fear and awe as darkness clouds fumed from her palms. "Teach me," He cried out.
"It isn't a trick," She clicked her fingers, and a dark cloud wreathed the wax bag beside them. "It's magic,"
"Magic isn't real,"
"That's not what my mama says,"
"Your mama is stupid,"
Natasha walked away.
___
"WHAT?"
The ground was cold - too cold. Natasha shivered beneath a thick wrap of wool coats and woven shawls. Someone had taken off her boots, placing them neatly beside her. Her hands felt numb. She couldn't move.
Natasha kicked her feet furiously back and forth. So she could move. She stretched out her toes, curling them against her grubby feet. Her thin stockings had snagged somewhere in the ice, the holes frozen over by a thin layer of snow.
"You're awake," Alessia bounded over, curling her arms around her neck. She kissed her nose, each of her cheeks, her forehead. "Saints, I thought you were dead," Alessia mumbled a prayer, hugging Natasha tightly.
"Where are the others?" She looked around the thick gloss of ice, seeing nothing past the dark mist. Alessia gently pushed her back against the make-shift bed. She slipped her boots back on, trying to crawl onto her knees.
"They're waiting over there," Alessia pointed in the opposite direction, blurry figures shivering back and forth. A fire crackled in the distance, the flames too far to warm them. Natasha rubbed a hand against her blue lips, looking up at the light sky.
"How long was I out?"
"A week," Her mouth dropped into an o. "Only kidding," Alessia grinned, shaking her shoulder. "Only 45 minutes, the others will be pissed. They just managed to get the fire going. Anyways, can you walk?" Alessia lifted two hands beneath her armpits, sliding her onto her feet.
"You were insane back there everyone was,"
"What do you mean?"
"Nina was screaming something about Starless saints. Inej wanted to faint," She rubbed a hand against her back, guiding her towards the flames. "Kaz was shouting with Nina and Matthias, and Wylen fell asleep,"
"You look offended. I can shake Wylen awake?"
"No, I'm surprised," Natasha chuckled weakly. "How someone can sleep over that?" She pointed into the distance, the yelling growing louder with each step. She could feel her eardrums ringing as she moved closer and closer.
"They've been like that for a while," Alessia whispered. "I think they've gone insane,"
"Merzost," Nina cried, stamping her foot against the ice. Her brown hair had fallen into wet locks around her neck. She had a cloak drawn across her shoulder. Her round cheeks blushed with cold and indignation. "Absolute merzost,"
"She's just as mad as you are, Zenic," Kaz responded coldly. "She's valuable, and you know it,"
"Van Doren's dangerous,"
"So you suggest we abandon her?" Kaz raised his brow, cane stabbing into the ice. His hand trembled beneath the thick layer. Natasha couldn't tell if he was furious or if he was freezing. "She's one of us, Nina,"
"She will never be one of us," Nina spat. She swayed in front of Kaz, poking a finger hard into his chest. Kaz didn't flinch. He stared at her with cruel and dangerous eyes. "When you are 60, Natasha won't have aged a day past 20. She will be your age and will pick your casket colours looking 18,"
"What has that got to do with anything?"
Nina scoffed, throwing her head back like a bucking horse. "She outlives every Grisha. The Dark Heretic lived until he 600 years old and didn't look a day older than 30,"
"Your point?"
"She will leave you," Zenic sneered, red lips upturned into the nastiest smirk. "Nothing good comes out of shadow summoners. They are evil,"
"Nina," Inej said faintly.
"Don't tell me you're siding with, Brekker?"
"No," She gently grabbed Nina by the sleeve, spinning her towards Alessia and Natasha.
They both shivered in the ice, a shawl bundled across both their shoulders. Alessia smiled weakly, in a fruitless attempt to soothe the tension - it was so thick that if you lit a match, the world would engulf in flames.
Nina's jaw dropped awkwardly. She immediately pressed a hand across her lips. "Nina Zenic," Natasha whispered. Her silver eyes welled with tears which she sniffed back instantly. "Aren't you the sweetest soul?"
A/N
- this is dumb but I needed to post something so here you go! I know Nina many people might disagree with the way I've portrayed Nina but I genuinely believe she'd act like that until she felt like she could trust Natasha again. If you enjoyed please vote and comment! Chapters might be shorter now that school has reopened and I'm being given homework already :(
- rosa <3