"Just promise me that you won't take your anger out on the Lannisters", I said sternly as I followed my father slowly to the court. I had insisted that he take another day to rest but he declined. He was struggling with walking and looked much paler than usual but insisted that he was fine.
"I'm not angry, nor will I unjustifiably take anything out on them", replied my father and I nodded.
We entered the throne room, and everybody's heads turned towards us. Sansa and Arya didn't want to come, so I decided to accompany father to make sure that he didn't do anything stupid, not that he usually does, but he is a stubborn man.
I joined the crowd at the very front, as my father climbed the stairs and sat down on the Iron Throne. He grimaced for a second, and I knew he hated that thing but King Robert did order it, so he must obey.
Maestar Pycelle sat down to the left of my father and Lord Baelish sat down to the right. He looked at me with a smile but I ignored him and continued looking defiantly at my father.
"Bring the first one in", ordered my father and the guards obeyed. Some men, who looked like farmers entered the throne room, sad looks on their faces. They began talking about something but I blocked their voices out.
I looked out of the high windows where the sunlight was shining through. It was a happy day, I was supposed to be happy but I wasn't. I was worried, and mad, and sad at the same time. Jaime still hasn't returned from wherever he went after attacking my father, so I still couldn't confront him about what he did. What if he was in danger? I doubted it, if there was even a possibility of him being endangered, Cercei and their father Tywin would have send their whole army to retrieve him.
I missed him. Although I barely know him, and haven't even decided if I hated him or was ready to love him. But I missed his cocky behavior, his smirks, his smug voice, the way his armour clanged together creating an annoying sound, his stupid remarks, everything. But I knew I shouldn't. There was no possible future for the both of us. I was a lady of age, ready to be married off, while he was thrice my age, a King's Guard and would never be able to marry. Not to mention the fact that he has three bastard children, and sleeps with his sister.
Why did I keep thinking that there may be something out there? I'm being stupid.
"I cannot give you back your homes, or restore your dead to life, but perhaps I can give you justice in the name of our King, Robert. Lord Beric Dondarrion", announced my father, snapping me back to reality. Lord Beric took a step forward from the crowd and looked up at my father. "You shall have the command. Assemble 100 men and ride to Ser Gregor's keep", ordered my father and my eyes widened. He was talking about the mountain, why would he want him?
"As you command", complied Lord Beric and took a step back to his place. My father stands up, struggling but still looking strong with the help of his stick.
"In the name of Robert of the House Baratheon, the first of his name, King of the Andals and the first men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and protector of the realm, I charge you to bring the King's justice to the false knight Gregor Clegane and all those who shared in his crimes. I denounce him and attaint him.", announced my father and many people gasped but I nodded, accepting his decision. Over the years, I have learned not to question his decisions, as they were the right ones, always. No matter what, my father always did what was right. That was why he was so respected. "I strip him of all ranks and titles, of all lands and holdings, and sentence him to death".
That got my attention. The whole court seemed to be outraged by this decision, which did not mean anything good.
"My Lord, this is a drastic decision. It would be better to wait until King Robert's return", said Maester Pycelle, visibly outraged.
"Grand Maester Pycelle", began my father as he turned to the old man. EVerybody seemed uneasy at this scene, and so was I. Nobody here agreed with my father's decision, which could lead to bad things happening.
"My lord", bowed the Maester.
"Send a raven to Casterly Rock. Inform Tywin Lannister that he has been summoned to Court to answer for the crimes of his bannermen. He will arrive within the fortnight or be branded an enemy of the crown and a traitor to the realm.", continued my father and everybody stared in shock, including me. He promised not to take his anger out on the Lannister's. As he walked down the steps from the Iron Throne, I quickly joined him, also outraged.
"Father-", I began in a harsh whisper but Lord Baelish stopped us.
"A bold move, my Lord, and admirable. But is it wise to yank the lion's tail? Tywin Lannister is the richest man in all the Seven Kingdoms.", whisper Petyr Baelish and I nodded, agreeing with him. "God wins war, not soldiers".
"Then how come Robert is King and not Tywin Lannister?", asked my father in return, and then turning around, continuing walking out of court. I sped up, joining him.
"You promised", I said as we walked away from the room filled with angry people.
"I never promised, I said that I won't make any decisions unjustifiably", argued my father and I rolled my eyes.
"Father, this is not the North. People here are much different from us. They don't agree or understand our ways. You will start a war, and it will not end well", I said, stopping him. He looked at me for a second before turning back around and continuing limping to the his office.
I stand in the hallway, looking after my hurt father. He made a stupid decision today, and I really doubt that it will do any good for anyone.
As I walked back to my room, I saw that Sansa and Arya were already inside talking, for the first time since arriving in King's Landing, they were civil.
"Hey you two", I greeted them as I entered and sat down beside them. They both smiled, and Arya came to sit on my lap, and I hugged her from behind as we sat and listened to Sansa talk about how much she loves Joffrey.
"And his beautiful green eyes...", trailed off Sansa. EVerything she said about Joffrey reminded me of Jaime.
His green Lannister eyes, his golden Lannister hair, his strong and well defined jaw, his sharp tongue, the way he walks, the way he hold himself. Everything reminded me of him. Gods was I a love sick fool.
"She will never stop, will she?", asked Arya in a whisper when Sansa turned around to get something. I snorted lightly.
Suddenly the door to our room opened and our father came in, his stick hitting the ground with every step. All three of us looked up, silently asking what he was doing here.
"I'm sending you three back to WInterfell", he announced and Arya jumped up from my lap, and Sansa stood straighter. I remained seated, taking the information in.
"What?", asked Sansa shocked.
"Listen", began father but Sansa interrupted him.
"What about Joffrey?", she asked scared.
"Are you dying because of your leg? Is that why you are sending us home?", asked Arya, pointing at his hurt leg.
"No he's not dying", I assured her and she let out a relieved breath.
"Please father", begged Sansa but father shook his head.
"You can't. I have lessons with Syrio, I am finally getting good", Arya also begged but I remained silent.
"This isn't a punishment. I want you back there for your own safety", replied father.
"Can we take Syrio back with us?", asked Arya.
She was really attached to this Syrio.
"Who cares about your stupid dancing teacher? I can't go. I'm supposed to marry Prince Joffrey. I love him and I'm meant to be his Queen and have his babies.", yelled Sansa and I cringed just at the thought of her with Joffrey, and her having a family with him.
"Seven Hells", I cursed under my breath.
"When you are old enough, I'll make a match with someone's who is worthy of you, someone brave, gentle and strong...", trailed off father but Sansa stopped him.
"But I don't want someone brave, gentle and strong. I want him!", yelled Sansa and Arya smiled, chuckling lightly. Our father also looked down, trying not to smile but I didn't share their amusement.
If I was leaving for Winterfell, that meant that I would never see Jaime again. Or Gendry. I was ready to do it once, but I don't think I can again. I have gotten used to the idea of staying here for a while.
"He'll be the greatest King that ever was, a golden lion, and I'll give him sons with beautiful blond hair.", continued arguing Sansa. Our father looked thoughtful for a minute while Arya shook her head.
"The lion's not the sigil, idiot. He is a stag, like his father", she said but Sansa shook her head.
"He is not. He is nothing like that old, drunk King!", she screamed and I was barely able to keep it together at this point.
Tears threatened to spill. I was not usually one to cry but the thought of not even getting to confront Jaime, hear his side of the story. Just the thought of never seeing him again when I thought I would, was breaking me.
"Go on girls, get your Septa and start packing things", ordered father but I didn't move, I was too far in my head.
"Come on", said Arya, grabbing Sansa's hand and leading her out the door. I didn't follow and father looked at me.
"But it's not fair", Sansa tried to continue arguing but Arya pulled her out of the room.
"Go on Audelia. You need to get ready", said father but I looked up at him.
"Joffrey isn't a stag. He's a lion, through and through", I whisper and he looked at me confused.
"What do you mean?", he asked, as he sat down beside me.
"Cercei told me. She told me that the rumours are true, that her and jaime were, no are together. That all her three children are Jaime's", I explained, looking at him and I watched his reaction closely as realization hit him. He suddenly stood up and limped to a desk, sitting down and putting down a book he had brought with him.
I joined him after a moment.
The Lineages of the Great Houses of Westeros.
He flipped through the pages until he got to the Baratheon house. And then he began reading all the male names, and their hair color.
"Lord Orys Baratheon, black of hair. Axel Baratheon, black of hair. Lyonel Baratheon, black of hair. Steffon Baratheon, black of hair.", he read out loud and then he flipped to the next pages. "Robert Baratheon, black of hair. Joffrey Baratheon... golden head".
My father looked up at me. Now we had the evidence. I looked back with a clenched jaw.
"What are we going to do now?", I asked after a moment, as he closed the large book.
"We? You know nothing. You have never heard anything about this, and you still believe Joffrey is Robert's son, understood?", asked father and I sighed.
"I will not do such thing. In light of your recent decisions, I don't think you should make any more alone. We are in this together. Like you said; When the snow falls, and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies but the pack survives. We are a pack, we do this together", I argued, and he looked up at me unsure. "I am not letting you carry this burden alone father".
"I am not asking for you to leave me Audelia, I am asking for you to be safe, to keep your sisters safe, to keep our family safe. Because I cannot turn a blind eye on this", argued father.
"And I can?", I asked, raising my voice slightly. "I grew up as the daughter of the most honorable man in the whole Seven Kingdoms, if not in the whole world. I learned what honor was from a very young age. I am not leaving you alone in this".
"You aren't. I am not going be alone. When the people find out, they will be on our side", he argued. "I just want to keep you safe, my winter flower. Let me keep our family safe".
I looked at him doubtful but I knew this was a battle I will not win, so I nodded, accepting this. He breathed out a deep sigh of relief and patted my hand.
"Now go, you will leave soon enough", said Father and reality set in once again. I didn't argue, just walked to my closet, beginning to put them back into my chest. Father stood up, and walked out of the room. When I could no longer hear his stick hitting the ground, I collapsed onto the floor crying.
Why must my life be so painful. Everything was fine until I got to King's Landing, my life was absolutely ordinary, I was happy. And now all of that was falling apart.
Why did I have to fall in love with the stupid Lannister Knight? I mean, he isn't even here but my feelings for him somehow only get deeper. It was eating me up from the inside, and I don't even know where he is. I don't know whether he is safe or in danger. I don't even know if he feels the same way about me! I mean what if what Cercei said was true, what if he only has eyes for her, she is the mother of his three bastards. They have been together since the womb, they will always be together. I was just an extra pawn in their game.
Today, I have decided to bury my feeling for Jaime Lannister deep down, away from the light. I could not feel what I feel for him any longer because if I do, it will not only destroy me, it could destroy my family.
I choose duty over love.