。ﾟ·𝘼𝙉 𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙉𝙏𝙁𝙐𝙇 𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂·。ﾟ
⌜𝙮𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙖𝙧𝙚⌟
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"hello"- normal dialogue
'hello'- other people's thoughts
"hello"- saiki speaking telepathically
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when you have supernatural powers, the impossible becomes possible...
my name is kusuo saiki, and I have psychic superpowers.
fifteen years ago, an ordinary couple gave birth to a not-so-ordinary baby boy.
i started talking when i was fourteen days old, without using my voice. soon afterward, i started walking when i was one month old, in the air. and at one year old, i ran my first errands. my mom finally started to worry about me.
now you'd think after a year of this weirdness they'd take me to get tested, but my folks are kinda weird themselves... not to mention lazy.
they can still act like lovebirds, and they take everything in stride, including me and all my weird powers.
so time rolled on...
i became the person i am now, a first year high school student.
i still have my psychic powers. i can bend spoons without touching them, and can hit it big whenever i want to.
my life is a dream come true.
that is what you're thinking, right?
well let me drop some truth bombs- bending spoons makes it harder to eat, and winning free snacks just leads to stomach aches.
if you think i'm the happiest guy alive and that i have it all, you are dead wrong.
i'm the unhappiest guy alive and i have nothing.
telepathy, psychokinesis, x-ray vision, foresight, teleportation, clairvoyance, and et cetera.
sure, i can do all those things. but for each thing i can do, there's something i can't do. sort of like how because we feed our pets, they've lost the ability to hunt. or when a mother spoils her child, he loses the ability to become a functional adult.
trust me, i've missed out on so much!
i don't know what it's like to feel a sense of accomplishment. i've never been surprised by a surprise party. i can't experience any of these things. it's true that i never get angry or sad, but i never feel happy, either.
that's my life.
maybe i should focus on the bright side though. no drama means things are always peaceful for me. and that's tha-
'where the hell is he?' as i approached the entrance to my home, i was abruptly cut off by a familiar voice. "kusuo, welcome home my son! you're running kind of late today, huh?" the voice greeted.
why is dad sitting in front of the house?
"i'll get right to the point kusuo, i'm locked out of the house. can you open it up for your old pop?" my father explained.
"yare yare, again?" i said telepathically as i rolled my eyes in annoyance.
i approached the front door, and reversed the time on the lock to twenty four hours ago, effectively unlocking it.
"woahh! i love those psychic powers of yours, they're just so sneaky, yeah!"
"don't call them sneaky."
"kusuo, with those kinds of powers, think of all the things you could do." dad continued with a disturbing look on his face.
"keep your dark thoughts to yourself, dad." i remarked, unimpressed with his antics.
"kuu, is that you? you're back?!" a sweet, feminine voice called out to me from inside the house.
"dahhhh! we'll talk more about this later, kusuo!" my father nervously shouted as he sprinted through the front door.
i guess there is one thing in my life that's decidedly unpeaceful.
"i can't believe you changed the locks on me again!"
that would be my parents' current relationship.
"i hope you're hungry kuu kuu~! i'm making you breaded porkchops for dinner today!" my mother spoke with a closed-eye smile and sweet voice.
"hang on! and now you're choosing to ignore me? besides, i told you i wanted to have steak tonight!!" he angrily pouted.
"oh, is that so? so sorry! how about i fix you a leather shoe?"
"i don't want a shoe, leather or not!!"
i wonder where it went wrong for them? they used to be so passionate.
well, they're still passionate now, but it's a little different.
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"time to dig in! help yourself! we have so much to talk about!"
i looked down to see that my mother had prepared some delicious looking breaded porkchops for me. my dad on the other hand...
"hey, hey, hey!!! heyyy!!" he shouted angrily, slamming his hand on the table and pointing at the shoe my mom had prepared for him, in an effort to get her attention.
"is it good kuu?" she finally acknowledged my dad, "honey, there's seconds for you too!"
"no thank you! i bet it's just the other shoe!"
suddenly she pulled out a completely different shoe, "here you go!"
"that's not even from the same pair!" he yelled as they continued to argue.
it's been like this for half a year.
"hey~ kusuo~, use your powers to turn this old shoe into a steak for daddy~." he begged.
so, in case you forgot, this pathetic dude's my dad, kuniharu saiki. he's lazy and irresponsible and asks for help with everything in his life. but, surprise, surprise, the more i help, the more useless he gets. so lately, i've stopped doing him any favors.
now he's lost it.
"what?!? how dare you take your mother's side in this?! do you have any idea how many shoes i have to lick each day to buy the food you're eating now?!!"
'oohhh, road salt! nothing better than italian, loafers that is~' i heard his disturbing inner thoughts reveal.
"so you do like eating shoes?"
he froze.
"screw it! i'll eat it anyway!" he pouted as he gobbled it up. "it stinks!! what did you do with this shoe?! are you trying to poison your father??!!" he screeched, reeling back in distaste.
"i'm pretty sure that's how it always smelled, dummy. yare yare."
"hey kuu," a sweet-sounding voice cut in, "now, just remember what i've always said: please don't use your powers for evil!"
this is my mother, kurumi saiki.
"you must only use your powers to help those in need," she asserted as she took my hand, "or those people who you are certain are genuinely nice."
she's a big reason why i haven't let my gifts turn me to the dark side. she is a caring soul.
well, to me.
"but feel free to use your powers to hurt your daddy~"
she kinda has a dark side herself.
"now kuu~, i've been meaning to talk to you about something very important!"
"hey! i'm here too!" my dad frustratingly yelled.
"your father is being transferred to a different shoe factory in northern japan as a promotion at work. which means we're going to be moving to miyagi prefecture in a little over a month." she softly explained.
"i'm even getting a raise!" my father enthusiastically butted in...
only to be completely ignored by my mother as she continued, "i know that you love it here and have already made lots of friends, but don't worry kuu~, we are going to visit as much as possible! i even picked out a super cool high school for you that i know you'll love!" she expressed, sounding delighted.
"i helped too-"
"i don't know if you've ever heard of it before, but it's called karasuno high school." she cut him off. "they have the sweetest staff! i talked to one of your future teachers and she seems wonderful! oh, i'm so excited for you! your new school is going to be amazing kuu~kuu~, don't you worry!"
i'm not exactly sure how to take this news, i don't really feel strongly one way or another. but who knows, maybe i can start over at a new school as a completely average student? a school where i don't have nuisances following me wherever i go?
hmm, maybe this won't be so bad...
suddenly, we heard chomping noises and turned around to see my father eating my breaded pork chops. my mom's pink and flowery aura suddenly turned dark.
"stop eating kusuo's dinner, you thieving son of a bitch!" she roared menacingly. "that's it, we're taking this outside!"
"i'll pass!" he shrieked, quivering in horror and fear.
in truth, i could break up this fight whenever i feel like it, but this is something they're going to have to work out themselves.
hm?
coffee flavored jelly?
hm... it doesn't taste bad. it takes the rich, robust scent and flavor of coffee and condenses them into a single sublime package. don't let the name fool you folks, this jelly is a mature, dignified treat. if you add a splash of milk, you'll have a whole new experience on your hands. something this decadent should be illegal. but i'm not complaining-
suddenly my mom threw my dad across the room, knocking the coffee jelly off my spoon. luckily, i was able to catch it before it hit the floor.
"you wanted to eat jelly that bad?!?" my dad howled. "forget the jelly! we've got bigger problems!!"
he panicked, "your mother's turned into a monster!!!"
"stop running from me, you coward!" she screeched with an almost demonic sounding voice.
"you have to stop her kusuo!! you're my only hope to stop her reign of terror!"
my mother began to growl menacingly as she picked up the kitchen table.
"DO IT! SLAY THE DEMON!" my father urged.
the monster form of my mother emitted an alarming chuckle, "you're not leaving till i say so!!"
my dad let out a high-pitched shriek.
alright, enough of this. i used my telekinesis on the table, stopping it in midair just as it was about to crush my father.
"AHAHHAHAHHHHhhhh... huh? what? hey, kusuo!" he began as he realized he wasn't being hit by the table.
i've got the weirdest parents. i really don't care about stopping another pointless fight, but i can't help myself.
my mother swiftly turned back to normal, "so, now you're on your dad's side?" she offendedly questioned, "but i even made you pork chops!"
why do i say it's pointless? just wait.
"i want nothing to do with either of you again!" she declared. 'that's a lie. truth is i love them!'
now matter how hard they try, the voices in their hearts always bubble up. in other words, all these fights they have are a sham.
"alright, well i hate you both too, so there! yeah, i said it!" my father retorted. 'just kidding, you know i love you guys! i wanna snuggle.'
like i said, another pointless fight.
there is one person here who has real reason to be upset, me. those weirdos interrupted my desert. i guess only a psychic can fix this.
'love you,' they spoke, well more like thought out loud, simultaneously.
"wait, did you just say you love me?" 'is it really possible she loves me back?' he thought out loud.
"what?! no, it's you who said it!" 'oh no! i thought i just thought that, but did i say it? and what does "she loves me back" mean!? he loves me?!!?' she freaked out internally.
"so you did say it. you just admitted to thinking it, out loud!"'is it possible that i love her so much i've started hearing things?!'
'he loves me "so much"?'
'huh, she can hear me too?'
"what? yeah." she blushed. 'he did say it!'
"not out loud." they were both blushing profusely.
"what?" they uttered at the same time.
they suddenly whipped their heads in my direction.
"kusuo!!" "kuu!!"
forced shared telepathy. i used my psychic powers to link their minds at the neural level. in other words, thanks to me they can now hear each other's thoughts.
"turn it off right now! i don't want your dad finding out that i still love him!" she yelled in a frenzy.
"your mother finding out that i still love her is my worst nightmare!"
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"i love you dear~!" my father proclaimed lovingly.
"i love you too~!" my mother passionately responded as they held each other close.
cool. the end.
"i'm sorry honey!"
"no, i'm sorry! it was all my fault!"
yare yare, normal people are complicated. at least now i can finish my desert in peace.
"this is all because i ate your coffee jelly!" my mom cried.
he dramatically reassured her, "no! i shouldn't have lost my temper and broken all the windows in the house!"
"hold on a second!" she announced as she approached me and yanked my coffee jelly out of my hands.
i froze... did she just-
she held the coffee jelly out to him, "here! have this as a token of our renewed love!"
"woahh!" he voiced.
"is it good?"
"mhmm! something this decadent should be illegal! it's delicious!"
i was engulfed by the flames of rage.
next thing i knew...
*SHATTER*
i broke the windows.
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𝙞 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧, 𝙮𝙖𝙮! 𝙞𝙠𝙞𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙮 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙡𝙛 𝙤𝙛 𝙚𝙥𝙞𝙨𝙤𝙙𝙚 1 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙢𝙚, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙞 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙞 𝙘𝙖𝙣! 𝙞'𝙢 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙣 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖 𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙗𝙞𝙩 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙨𝙖𝙞𝙠𝙞 𝙖𝙩 𝙥𝙠 𝙖𝙘𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙢𝙮, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙞𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙗𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙗𝙩 𝙠𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙨𝙪𝙣𝙤 𝙖𝙡𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙮, 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬!
𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙞𝙨 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙛𝙪𝙣, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞 𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙩 𝙖𝙩 2 𝙖𝙢 𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙣𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙤𝙣! 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨, 𝙞 𝙧𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙞𝙠𝙞 𝙘𝙧𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙗𝙤𝙤𝙠𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞 𝙝𝙤𝙥𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤 𝙩𝙤𝙤!! 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙫𝙤𝙩𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙮 𝙪𝙥-𝙩𝙤-𝙙𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙣𝙚𝙬 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨!!
𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙠 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙤 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙮 𝙗𝙤𝙤𝙠, 𝙞𝙩 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙨 𝙨𝙤 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚, 𝙞𝙡𝙮𝙮𝙮!! 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙢𝙖𝙯𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙙𝙖𝙮 (𝙤𝙧 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙝𝙚)!!
𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 © 𝘀𝗼𝗮𝗽𝗶𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗼𝗮𝗽 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟭
𝗵𝗮𝗶𝗸𝘆𝘂𝘂!! 𝗯𝘆 𝗳𝘂𝗿𝘂𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝘂𝗶𝗰𝗵𝗶
𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝗮𝗶𝗸𝗶 𝗸 𝗯𝘆 𝘀𝗵𝘂̄𝗶𝗰𝗵𝗶 𝗮𝘀𝗼̄