Track #10: All These Years
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Camila's POV
July 28, 2017
With some difficulty I manage to get into the studio, kicking the door with my foot, dragging my heavy suitcase behind me. My headphones fall to the floor amidst the small commotion and Mom picks them up for me, being careful not to trip over me in the process. We both burst out laughing at my clumsiness, until we settle inside the living room awaiting my work team.
A little happier about having fixed that whole weird situation with Shawn, I convinced my mom to take this quick trip to Los Angeles in the middle of the 24K Magic World Tour for the second time since it started. I have to take advantage of this great mood swing I'm experiencing to do good things for the next album, there's no time to waste. That's why, as soon as my dear friend and producer Frank arrives at the appointed time, I mention to him my intentions for today.
- I have a special request, and I hope you won't say no to me. - I beg with puppy dog eyes.
- What is it now? - He sighs, setting his suitcase down next to the sound board.
- A new song. - I smile innocently and I'm ready to see his panicked face.
- Camila... - He complains. He shakes his head not knowing how to approach this. - Why don't we stick to the original plan and then talk about this... new project?
- Promise? - I fold my arms, ready to negotiate.
- Yes, now get into the booth. - He mumbles at me.
I can't help but laugh at his hostility, he should be used to my overflowing creativity by now. If it's a good day I tend to let my imagination run wild, if it's a bad day I just sit back and ramble and write whatever comes to my heart. We'll see what happens today...
***
- I'm just lookin' for some real friends... - I hold a high note at the end but I don't like the sound of it. - Can we try it again? Please.
Frank gives me a thumbs up letting me know he agrees and I clear my throat before singing the verse as I imagine it. I listen to it a couple of times in my headphones and I'm still not entirely convinced.
- Again, Frank. - With all the patience in the world, my producer rewinds the track.
- Do you want to hear it with the lead vocals?
- Yes, please.
I let Frank do his job and play back what we have so far, overlaying my lead vocal and the backgrounds we are recording. I lean back in the booth window that separates us looking at the floor as I try to identify where there are gaps in the song that need to be filled with more ad-libs (or improvised lines).
- Ok, the whole outro... I'll just do different vocals and then you can separate them and arrange them in levels. To your liking. - I propose. Frank raises a suspicious eyebrow.
- It's never to my liking. Someone is in a hurry apparently... - He mumbles between his teeth looking at the panel in front of him on the other side of the glass.
I smile somewhat guiltily but I don't deny it. Indeed I do, I want to get this over with so I can concentrate on the other song. Frank plays the ending as instructed and I do my best to get it right this time.
- I'm just lookin' for some real friends. All they ever do is let me down... somebody in... ah ah... they're all about... yeah... down, ah ah... yeah... ah ah... ah ah... ah ah. - I finish and look at Frank one more time. - Got it?
- Got it...
- Perfect! Now let's move on. - I clap my hands as I exit the booth with renewed energy.
My mother, who has been sitting in the corner arguing with Roger, looks at me with amusement through her glasses. I smile, blushing and grabbing a guitar from the shelf above my head. She knows what my thoughts are on. Or rather who.
- Okay, Frank, remember the track we scrapped at the beginning of the year? - I ask, sitting down next to him, guitar in hand.
- The one that sounds like the unfinished song we were recording just now? - He says teasingly. I tighten my lips in annoyance.
- Yeah, yeah. - I ignore him. - I think we can reuse it here, but we beef it up with this guitar.
- Suit yourself. - He shrugs, trying not to smile at my sudden enthusiasm.
***
November 21, 2017
My emotional stability will depend a lot on what Shawn thinks about this. I can't wait for Frank and Louis to fix the song so I can listen to it in full and send it to him. Part of me is afraid of his reaction though. What if he doesn't like it and rejects me again? I couldn't stand it... But I have to be realistic; I doubt he'll pay attention to me now that he's dating that other girl. I shake my head trying in vain to forget it. I can't figure out when and how it happened, I only found out when I saw the photos leaked to the internet the day after the EMAs gala. He didn't even mention it to me, and we're supposed to be friends. Not that I have anything against Hailey, I don't even know her in person, but I should be with Shawn not her. Just kidding... but not really. My head is crazy.
Come on Camila, there are more important things to worry about right now.
I sigh exhausted, standing in the middle of the small circle that has been created around me. Roger and Gian look at me waiting for me to give them the answer they are looking for, but I don't know what to do. So much has happened and I feel pretty overwhelmed, but in a good way... mostly.
Havana has been released, as the first single from the album, and it was very successful to my and everyone's surprise. So we decided to shoot a music video last month to continue its promotion. But with that new doubts settled in my head and we further postponed the release of the album, changed the name (it went from being "The Hurting, The Healing, The Loving" to just being called "Camila") and plan to release Never Be The Same next month God willing, as the second single.
Now the question is... what songs will make up the album other than the ones I've already been promoting on tour with Bruno? They are all so good...
- I feel that something is missing here... - I murmur disoriented. - Maybe we should record a new one...
- Camila, we could do a 30 song album if that's what you want, but it's not going to be very commercial. - Gian is furious. - We have to stick to 10 songs or less, so get used to the idea.
I would like to cry, but unfortunately today I have to make this decision. Time is running out. However, one thing I am sure of is that All These Years will stay on the album, yes or yes. It is my only salvation.
- Ok. - I bite my lip thoughtfully. - I think it would be good to remove "The Boy" and "Scar Tissue" from the list, the sound of these is very different from the others. It's too pop, just like "Crying In The Club" and "I Have Questions".
- Are you sure that's what you want? The last two were already released as singles. - I nod without adding anything to it. - Okay...
- But just... - I interrupt Gian with a stern look. - If All These Years stays.
My team share approving glances and shrug their shoulders accepting the deal. Well ATY, don't make me look bad. You're my last chance to win Shawn over...before something else happens.
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