alejandro
"Cole, color, color, color, color." Nano sang to himself as he scribbled his dark purple crayon all over his paper, just drawing random things to keep himself busy as I made him a sandwich. "Whatcha' coloring there papi?" I asked him, putting the two pieces of bread together and cutting them into triangles. "Ice pop." He replied, smiling proudly at his work. I snickered seeing that the drawing looked like a penis.
"Nice babe, we can hang it on the fridge." I told him, he smiled up at me before putting his crayon back in the tiny pencil box, "Here, eat up, then we can go for a walk in the park, m'kay?" I asked, he nodded, taking the plate with his sandwich on it before eating. "Park?!" He asked excitedly, and I nodded. "Yeah, it's nice out so we can go," I said, feeling happy since Nano was smiling.
"Back from work!" I heard Mattia yell as the front door slammed shut, I looked over, seeing him walk into the kitchen, "Hey, what's up?" Mattia asked me, tossing a few envelopes on the table, "Nothing...what's that?" I asked, pointing at the paper he put on the table. "Oh, uh just stupid stuff." He shrugged, grabbing them and hiding them being his back.
"I haven't known you for a while but I can tell your lying," I said, he bit his bottom lip before running away to the living room, I quickly followed behind him, my pregnancy wasn't gonna stop me from beating his ass. "No, get away! get away!" Mattia yelled teasingly as I wrapped my hands around his wrists and pinned them above his head. Pushing him to the floor and straddling his hips.
"Gimme." I said, snatching the paper out of his hand and opening the envelope, and skimming through it, "Baby shower?!" I asked, looking down at him, "Yeah fine... you're bound to find out at some point..." He said, sighing as he leaned his head back.
"My dad is gonna throw a whole party thing for the baby...like a baby shower, he said...I dunno, I told him it was stupid and that we wouldn't like it...but he's doing it anyway." Mattia said with a shrug.
"Well tell him no, this is so dumb...I ain't going." I said, closing the envelope and leaning my hands on his chest. "He's really excited to have a grandchild, he would like to have a party...at least do it for him, Ale." He said, and I gave him a pout, shaking my head slightly.
"I'll try to convince him to just throw a small party, sound good?" He asked, and I nodded smiling slightly, "Now will you get off before I get hard?" He asked me, putting his hands behind his head. "Gross," I said, scrunching my face up in disgust. "Your belly is literally on my crotch." He said, pointing to my chubby belly. "Touché," I said, standing up and giving him the envelope back.
"What up Nano?" Mattia asked, putting a hand on his back, "Nuffin', what's up with you?" He asked, fixing his glasses and looking up at Mattia, "Nothing babe, just bored and I'm gonna make something to eat." He shrugged, going to the fridge to eat something. "Oh, I felt the baby move...so it's real," I said, leaning on the counter.
Mattia shut the fridge and turned around looking at me, "Really? M-moved?" He asked me, "Can I feel it? Or...or...can I?" He asked me, "Well not moving like kicking...like a flutter...like I swallowed a butterfly or something...so you won't be able to feel it...not yet...but later on you can." I shrugged.
Mattia smiled brightly, "I'm just so glad that she's moving, that's amazing." He said, blushing and putting his hands on the back of his neck. "She? You think it's a girl?" I asked, and he nodded. "Pretty sure it is. I dunno why, I've always wanted a baby girl...just would seem nice." He shrugged, smiling shyly as he looked down at my belly.
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"Let's go, Ale!" Nano yelled as he jumped around on the front doorstep. "Okay Na, gimme a minute!" I yelled, "Ow," I winced, "No, not again." I whispered, rubbing under my belly button. "Stop it, this isn't happening again," I said, standing up straight and sliding my jacket on. "Now calm down and go to sleep or something," I said, looking down at my stomach.
"Annoying piece of shit." I said, rubbing my hip before going downstairs, "Okay Nano, let's go papi." I said, taking his hand and grabbing a coat. "You took your allergy pills?" I asked, and he nodded, "C'mon, let's go." He whined, pulling my hand tightly. "Okay, okay, let's go," I said, both of us going down the steps and out the door to call an uber.
"C'mon, look it! look! the swings are open! c'mon!" Nano yelled, pulling at my hand. "Please, let's go." He said, "Okay wait papi, wait, I just wanna take a break, okay?" I asked, and he sighed, nodding. "Okay, but right after we can play the swings right?" He asked me, and I nodded. "Just sit down and take a break babe," I said, patting the spot next to me. He huffed and sat down next to me. folding his arms and leaning his head back.
"Awe crap," I groaned, feeling that same pain from earlier, "Not. Again. I mean it." I said, trying to rub away the pain but it wasn't working. "Jesus." I whimpered, "Please stop, please stop." I begged.
Nano put a tiny hand on my shoulder. "Are you okay?" He asked me, I looked over at him, and somehow managed to show him a pained smile. "Yeah—yeah I'm okay papi, go 'head and go to the swings, I'll watch you, babe," I said, and he nodded. "Yay!" He yelled before running over to the swing set and getting on the last swing on the row.
"God, please stop," I whispered, I sighed as the pain didn't seem to go away. I went into my back pocket, taking my phone out, and going to my contact list. I just hope that Mattia will answer so I don't have to do this shit alone.
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mattia
"Dad, no, I can't." I shook my head, pushing the small shot glass away, "I'm not drinking tonight, I don't want Ale to hate me any more than he already does." I said, and my dad laughed. "Alright, alright, fine." He said, taking the glass and drinking it himself.
"Y'know he started wearing his ring," I told him, smiling brightly as I thought about the fact that Ale was playing around nervously with his ring when he was on his phone, looking through something. "That's nice, maybe he'll start to forget." He said, and I shook my head. "He'll never forget that I...y'know." I shrugged, my dad patted my back. "You guys will get better." He smiled proudly before my phone rang.
"I gotta go, it's Ale. I'll call you tomorrow at the ultrasound alright? Oh—speaking of an ultrasound. I have pictures, uh-here." I said, taking my wallet out of my pocket and pulling the flaps out, finding the photos the doctor gave us a few days ago.
"Here, she's still pretty small...well not she-but I don't know...it's too early to know if it's a girl or boy or whatever. But...that's it right there, they're beautiful." I said, my dad smiled up at me as he took the photos, looking through them.
"Beautiful, congrats Mattia." My dad said, and I nodded, putting my wallet back in my pocket. "Bye Luis!" I yelled at the bartender before running out of the door, the tiny bell ringing as I left.
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"Hey, sorry I took so long, I was at the bar with my dad-but I didn't drink, I promise," I said, running and out of breath towards Ale who was sitting on the park bench. "What up? Why are you just sitting there, let's get going." I said, looking over in the direction where Ale was looking, Nano was running around, digging in the dirt and brushing his hands off every few seconds.
"Are—are you okay?" I asked, sitting down next to him, "What-do you want me to carry you, Ale?" I asked, chuckling a little, he shrugged slightly, his hands on his stomach. "There's blood on my pants." He said, I gave him a confused look as he loved his hands, showing me his lap.
"I-oh-" I stuttered, not knowing what to do. "Oh god..." I sighed, I looked up at him, his eyes watering, my heart tugged seeing that. "I-I don't-I don't know." He stuttered out, his voice breaking a few times. "Please, just get Nano, and let's go.." He said, and I nodded. "Na-Nano? C'mon papi, let's go." I said, standing up and leaning over to him.
"Let's go home, yeah?" I asked him, and he shrugged. "Can we get ice cream?" He asked me, "Maybe...when we get home okay?" I asked him, he smiled and nodded. "What about Alejandro?" He asked me, "I'm gonna go help him get to the car alright. Just wait here," I said, he said a nasally okay.
I hesitated before kneeling and picking Ale up, he wrapped his arms around me tightly, "It's okay, your okay." I said, Nano stood in front of me before walking to the car, both of us behind him.
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"Do you know when Ale is gon' come out?" Nano asked, poking his straw into his caprisun. "I don't know babe, he's just sleeping right now and he's a little upset," I told him, rubbing his back as he nodded, playing around on his Nintendo switch.
"Okay...are we gonna go home soon? And see mom?" He asked me, I frowned hearing that...Ale never told him or went into that whole conversation with him...Nano just doesn't know that she's never coming back. "Uh...you guys are actually gonna stay here for a while okay?" I said, and his shoulders slumped, "Okay," He sighed, continuing to play on his little video game.
"How about you go up to your room and bring your juice while I go check on Ale, hm?" I asked, "Kay," He said, hopping off the stool and grabbing his juice, and going up to his room. Ale was laying down in my bed because he just wanted to be alone.
"Ale?" I asked as I heard Nano's room door close, I pushed my door open and saw the lights were off, I could see the shadow of him laying down in bed with the blankets over him. "It's just me," I said, closing the door and taking my slippers off, turning the lamp from the side desk on, and sitting down next to him.
I wrapped my arm around him from behind, "It's just me babe." I said, he had the blanket pulled up so it was almost covering his face, "Your okay now, it's okay." I told him, pulling him closer to me, he let out a choked sob. "Tell me what I can do Ale, I'll do anything babe, just tell me," I said, he cried as he struggled to flip on his side and face me.
"I want-my-my mom." He sobbed, burying his face into my chest and pulling at my shirt. "I'm so sorry Alejandro." I apologized, brushing my hands through his hair and kissing his forehead. "So, so, so sorry." I hugged him tighter.
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hurt. 😩