CHAPTER THIRTY:
WAY WITH WORDS.
EL'S POV.
the idea of waking up next to the person who makes you safe has always felt foreign to el. especially since the concept hadn't ever been expressed so normally in her life before.
her parents never slept together after sara passed away. it seemed almost forbidden at the time, the thought of even embarking on something that intimate so fragile and icy cold, as if being whole after an awful incident like losing a child was foul.
like it was disturbing.
but now, as she laid with her nose tucked into the dip of mike wheeler's neck, her doe eyes wandering across his relaxed features as his steady breathing echoed throughout his content yet cold bedroom... she couldn't imagine life without having something this sweet to wake up to.
he looked so calm sleeping next to her, with his sculpted cheekbones and softened jawline. those pretty unturned lips on full display and so tempting in more ways than she could ever ignore.
a dream even when he was dreaming.
the brunette shifted beneath him, carefully intertwining their legs just a bit tighter before propping her chin up on his chest, her mind fluttering back to last nights occurrences.
she would like to say nothing happened, really she would. with her lack of experience with the concept of love, it was hard to ever imagine the things that occurred so effortlessly underneath those sheets in the dim hours lit by the moon.
yet, the proof was already scattered along the column of her throat, reminding her how his teeth sank into the sweet spot right below her ear or how his hands were marking her body in a way that made her feel like she was holy, or quite frankly, unholy in the best way possible.
he was poison, the prettiest mirrorball of lavender colored liquid that soared through her veins and made her insides feel as though they were on burning but also stingingly cold all at once. as if he was toxic, a drug she wouldn't mind getting addicted to.
because it was absolutely impossible to ever get enough of him.
the artist trailed one of her fingers lazily down his chest, hoping to soon feel the movement of him stirring underneath her so she could see those lusty dark orbs again... to hear those most delicate words escape his lips that he had quite the talent of infatuating her with.
you know, although she loved sleeping next to him, there was a small part of her that hated that glimpse of time they spent only in their dreams together.
god, what an awfully absurd attachment issue she had developed for him.
she allowed her nails to skate up his arm and up to his jawline, the palm of her hand fitting perfectly into the hallow of his cheekbone as his peaceful and content breathing continued to not falter underneath her movements.
if there was one thing el certainly will never forget about last night was how flawlessly her and mike seemed to mold together. it was almost terrifying in a way, how their bodies knew exactly what the other was going to do, how in sync their movements were.
it was obsessive, a world of new emotions that neither of them really knew how to control but instead were completely controlled by.
and because of that... there was, of course, another way to get him to wake up.
the brunette tucked her face into the crevasse of his neck again, letting herself get lost in patiently planting tiny kisses up the length of his throat until she reached his mouth.
in all honesty, she didn't expect him to react as quickly as he did to her small little ministrations. though, she couldn't help but smile once she pressed her lips to his, feeling him respond almost instantly as he pushed further into their goodmorning kiss.
and once she pulled away, the writer blinked a few times, allowing his tired eyes to drift down to hers slowly as a shy smirk gently faded onto his features. yet before she could mumble any words to him, his arm tighten around her protectively as he pulled her closer into his chest, causing the brunette to giggle and him to flutter his eyes shut again in satisfaction.
they were never getting out of this bed, were they?
"writer boyyy," her voice was muffled by the fabric of his shirt, the strong mixture of lavender and jasmine filling her nostrils as he simply hummed at her words.
it felt so odd how much things had tipped between them in such a short amount of time. it was as if now that the glass had shattered between them, they could finally let their hearts hold one another, finally become full together.
finally become everything the other needed.
"we need to get up." she tugged at his shirt, her fingertips lacing into the fabric covering his shoulders. she could feel him shift a bit, slightly protesting underneath her probably annoying movements.
and because of that, it wasn't at all surprising that he grumbled when he opened his eyes again, releasing his hold on her enough so she could see his face clearly. the writer was squinting at her a bit, those feisty eyes not exactly serious enough to hide the playfulness dancing within those darken pools before he replied sarcastically, "says who?"
"says me." the artist fired back, scrunching her nose a bit to mimic his dramatic actions.
he shook his head at her response before titling his chin up to the ceiling like a child, his voice laced with a teasing tone, "who's me?"
"your very concerned painter girl girlfriend who doesn't want you to be late to whatever writer boy duties you have to get done today." it was a lie, she knew he had nothing to do today, which is exactly why she wanted to get up. she just wanted to hear him, listen to him and spend time with him.
and even though it should have been expected that he would be this ambiguously lazy in the mornings, it didn't change the fact that she was hoping for a split second he would push that away to talk to her more, possibly even appreciate her in a - well, more physical way.
not only did she have an attachment issue towards him but now she sounds extremely needy... great.
what has this boy done to her?
the raven haired boy couldn't help but to laugh, that sugary sound permanently seeping into her brain, sprouting and basically evaporating each nerve that kept her functioning correctly.
it was even harder to keep functioning correctly when he dropped his forehead into the dip in her collarbone, using the leverage to lazily roll the rest of his body on top of hers before lifting his head back up to look at her directly.
"well, my sweet love." he placed his forehead on hers gently, his daring eyes not faltering against her gaze as he let their noses touch subtlety, "your incredibly attractive, successful, writer boy boyfriend is actually off today. meaning there is no rush in getting out of bed anytime soon."
"and what about lucas and max?" another lie. she knew lucas and max were probably in the same position they were right now. let alone would they even want to be bothered by her and mike because all they both cared about was them finally getting together.
yep, she could already imagine the look on both of faces once they both got a good look at her neck later.
"lucas is off today too." the writer shrugged carelessly, the amount of obliviousness reflecting in his eyes causing her to huff impatiently. yet before she could complain verbally, he caught her lips with his, lingering frozen in time for a split second until pulling away slowly and allowing his voice to drop down to a whisper, "can i just enjoy you right now?"
finally, he was starting to slightly catch the hint.
"enjoy me how?" her words came out just as small as his were, the room engulfing them with empty air as they chose to stay as close as possible, their wavelengths speaking in their own secret language that required little to no space to stay alive.
"so many questions. you would be an awful writer." the raven haired boy let his eyes study her, those sultry orbs dancing and calculating each freckle upon her face to the point where she felt like she would turn into dust with just the smallest tinge of air that might escape his lips, "just say what you want and i'll give it to you."
"i want you." it was hard not to feel slightly embarrassed as she admitted those words. even with the fact that he was officially hers now, everything was still so new to her.
she was still learning.
but she was happy she was learning with him.
yet, her embarrassment faded the second he placed his lips on the tip of her nose, his hands falling to the curves on the side of her stomach, "good thing you have me then, right?"
he let his lips drop down to hers again after that, his lips slotting between hers a few times before moving to her jawline. he was mimicking her actions from earlier, allowing himself to appreciate her by covering her soft exposed skin with small tokens of love.
and she couldn't help but to giggle underneath his movements, lost in his little kisses as she waited for him to make his way down the delicate dips of her collarbones and back up to her lips.
her palms pressed into his sides once he finally found her mouth again, the movement of those plush cushions against hers distracting her from how his hands were suddenly slipping underneath the band of forest colored sweatpants. his fingertips were intertwining with lace around her hip bones, the same feelings of desire from last night beginning to ignite and swirl in the bottom of her stomach.
she always used to think these moments would be awkward. the idea of being so vulnerable so exposing, let alone how could she ever be comfortable enough to want to let someone else see her like this.
though the thought of awkwardness wasn't even imaginable with him, his hands and lips and him becoming the only thing consuming her mind every second they seemed to get tangled in these kind of situations lately. he made it so easy, so easy to fall and to completely forget the fact that she wasn't in fact floating in this moment. but instead she was fully being held down by gravity, feeling the weight on him pressing more and more on to her.
so easy to feel like she was the only thing that mattered in this world, like he was was the only thing that mattered in this word.
because to a certain extent he was, she never wanted to think about a life without him by her side.
"you can tell me to stop." the writer pressed his nose against her cheek, his worlds coming out breathlessly against her flushed skin. his fingertips were drawling circles on the tops of her bare hip bones, his thumbs playing with the thin lace of encapsulating her curves.
"i - " the artist paused for a second, allowing her lungs to fill with air, "i don't want you to."
"god, el." he was laughing now, his hands not faltering but now puncturing into her skin like he was frustrated, "you're really ruining my respectful gentleman persona i've got going on here for you. can't even let me keep it up for even twenty four hours after calling you mine."
"i don't remember you being much of a gentleman last night after i said a few certain little words to you." she tilted her head to the side, the mixture of her hair and the pillow rushing in her right ear. god, she really didn't want to think about the serious case of bedhead she probably had at this very moment, "i mean i'm pretty sure my neck looks a bit like a crime scene, am i right love?"
"again. all your fault." the writer brought his lips close to hers, those pillowy cushions brushing against hers as he whispered, "you're just so tempting."
moments like this caused her mouth to move faster than her brain had time to process. that or she might have slightly picked up on his magical way with words.
not picked up on... she definitely just memorized it.
"have i always been this tempting for you?"
she expected him to be phased by her statement, possibly even shocked. el hopper was definitely not one to continue much further with the foreplay, probably because she had no idea how to engage in that sort of conversation.
she barley knew knew what she was doing right now in this moment.
but instead he was perfectly calm, bathing in the suggestion as he let his hands drift up and underneath her shirt, tracing up the soft skin of her bare stomach until he drifted dangerously close to a newfound territory. one that wasn't covered in any lacy undergarments or encapsulating fabrics.
"since day one. you're all i've ever wanted to touch, please... breathe." his fingertips were pressing into the side of her rib cage, as if he was stopping himself from moving up any further, "every second since i met you, you have driven me absolutely mad."
those words, his words were always her weakness with him. it was the one thing about him that truly made her brain feel like it was turning in a liquid, a substance that let her forget all her worries about being good enough.
because in just a few little words he made her feel like she was more than that, like she was a glittering rare jewel that only he was allowed to wear.
she wasn't completely against that idea either.
her hands fell from their position around his frame, dropping to tuck underneath her shirt to were his were resting. she carefully guided his palms up, his eyes darting to meet hers like he was questioning why she letting him explore her curves so explicitly.
but she only leaned forward in response, pressing the smallest kiss to the corner of his mouth to tell him it was okay. and even though the only excuse to her sudden confidence boost was the simple fact that he existed, he seemed to know exactly what she was wanting.
and to be completely honest, she swore her heart was going to jump out of her chest when she felt him push her shirt up higher, his eyes watching hers in a way that told her he was trying to gauge how comfortable she was as he shifted his weight so he was sitting just a bit lower than her.
there was something so different about the feeling of his lips trailing up her stomach, something much more silencing. and even though she had a slight idea of what he was going to do, really she wasn't that blind, she couldn't help how her breath caught in the back of her throat once he pressed his lips to the curves of her chest, his smile imprinting itself against her soft skin as that sweet sound escaped her mouth.
the room suddenly started feeling like it was too small, the heat surrounding them, around her, becoming intensely unbearable as his mouth continued to make her elicit sounds she never knew existed within her. there was a part of her that didn't exactly care about how logical they were being right now, the fact that she wanted to smile and laugh underneath each of his inappropriate tactics was the simple proof that she was truly enjoying this too much.
he was too perfect, too good at being exactly who he was. and because of that, all she wanted to do was show him that he had every part of her.
and she almost did, she could feel her hands drifting lower, daring to lift his shirt to mimic how his fingertips were dancing on her waistband earlier.
almost.
that was until they were perfectly interrupted by a crash coming from the kitchen, both of them lifting their heads to turn towards his bedroom door like they were expecting at least one of their best friends to burst through that dull frame.
she was finally starting to understand why having roommates around when your significant other was over was incredibly inconvenient.
"that didn't sound good." there was a flicker of relief in his voice, as if he knew they were probably getting too carried way, "guess we should go check on them before they both burn the place down."
"yea i guess we should." she shifted beneath him, his hands taking a moment to pull her shirt down for her as her own wrapped around him to trail up his spine in effort to ease his nerves. his sultry eyes were watching hers carefully, like he was wondering if she was going to talk about what just happened.
she might have started talking about it, she thought about it for split second actually. but she could also knew just as much as he did that if any of them brought up the things they were just about to do right now, the definitely weren't going to leave this bed anytime after that.
they both really didn't need to get distracted again because with their luck, lucas would more than likely burst through that door once things started to pick up where they left off
so instead she decided to simply sigh to herself, breaking the silence by changing the topic, "i should also probably talk to max about when she's thinking about flying back home. might be more comforting to have a travel buddy."
the writer was quiet for a second, that fiery look in his eyes disappearing right in front of her before being replaced by a different emotion. and but even though there were no words coming out of those pillowy lips at the moment, it wasn't too hard to guess what he was thinking. especially when all he ended up responding with was a simple, "hm."
"hm." she mimicked, her tone straining to stay lighthearted. yet, that was sort of hard to do when his face was so slowly starting to expose all his thoughts to her, "don't give me that look, writer boy. i have to go home at some point."
he stayed silent as he rolled off of her tiny frame and onto his back, the air practically sprinting out of the pillows beneath him as they molded into his body. one of his hands found it's way to lace with hers, so calmly and quietly underneath the comforter around them.
it felt cold without him so close.
she hated how cold it felt.
which is probably why words just started to fall out of her mouth, a combination of different syllables scrambling to provide him some sort of comfort, "we can facetime and figure out a schedule to visit. we'll make it work."
she didn't know what she was expecting him to say to that, but she didn't expect her heart so clench so much when he rolled to the side to face her, his brows knitting together and the tone in his voice sounding like it was millions of miles away, "... i want you to stay here."
it was just that look on his face, the one full of so much dread and aching hurt. and though she's seen an emotion cross his features like this before the night she unintentionally ruined them the first time, this look was something completely different.
it was a look that said they had everything they wanted right there in the palm of their hands, so hopeful and full of life as they watched those dreamy figures sway upon their fingertips.
but that's all they could do... simply watch it all play out in their perfect fantasy of world that wasn't the one they were living in right now.
imagine feeling and seeing a life you could have, but not being able to live it the way it was supposed to be lived.
because that look hurt ten times worse than the look she got the night she couldn't confess her feelings.
"i wish i could drop everything and move here but i'm just not - " somehow she found it in herself to force a sad smile, her head tilting to the side as she pushed her body closer to his, "an incredibly attractive, successful writer boy like you. i don't have the money and as much as i love my dad, i can't live with him forever. it's not exactly my ideal dream to move back in with one of my parents after being on my own for so long."
"i know and i can help you, sweet." his hand was cupping her face now, his thumb running along the top of her cheekbone, "you're so strong and independent and that's what i admire most about you. but my home is where you are. we can figure something out. please el."
"... i still have to go back either way, love." the serious expression scattered across his features seemed to relax at the nickname, like it was a reminder that no matter how hard things were to piece together... he was still hers just as much as she was his.
and though the fact of reality was that even if she wanted to stay here with him, would also mean packing up her life in indianapolis... there was also a part of her that didn't exactly mind doing just that.
it was just unbelievably complicated logistically speaking.
he seemed to be thinking the same thing as he pulled her into his chest, his next words soft but understanding as he pressed his lips to the crown of her head, "i know, but just consider it.... for me."
"of course." she pulled him down for one last kiss after that statement, both her hands moving up to cup his face gently.
it was a softer kiss than the ones they had shared the night before, even softer than the ones they shared just a few minutes ago. yet for some reason, it felt more meaningful than the other times, the movement of their lips filled with an undeniable promise that they would figure out some way to get through things.
together.
no matter how much it hurt.
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a/n: hi hi, my sweets. i sincerely apologize for falling off the face of the earth. but to make up for it, here's some semi spicy fluff before i absolutely tear our writer boy to pieces. i'm kidding... unless.