*am i writing this while watching big hero 6? yes. yes i am.*
and all my friends are tired of hearing how much i miss you
but i kinda feel sorry for them
'cause they'll never know you the way that i do
(drivers license by olivia rodrigo)
ah yes heart break.
the wonderful feeling.
or should i say the most excruciating one.
sakusa kiyoomi was never one to trust, or love for that matter.
he didn't see the point in trusting someone, loving someone, what was the point?
hah well who would've known?
sakusa kiyoomi is here crying over a stupid blonde with a pretty face.
and pretty eyes.
and unusually soft hair for how much it's dyed.
'shit i need to stop thinking about him.'
kiyoomi sighs.
why did the stupid blonde have to be so lovable.
the two had broken up about a week ago.
sometimes kiyoomi wondered if atsumu was feeling as bad as he was.
the break up was mutual for the most part because well they weren't perfect, they didn't communicate well and fought a lot.
and although there was all of that there were soft moments too.
soft moments where atsu would be half asleep curled into kiyoomi like a worn out puppy.
the spiker would give anything to go back to that time.
at practice it wasn't awkward.
they acted like they did before they dated, before they became friends, before they even knew each other.
kiyoomi went back to calling the setter miya and the setter still used that annoyingly adorable nickname.
it seemed like atsumu became even more buddy buddy with hinata and bokuto than before.
more so hinata though.
kiyoomi was not an insecure person, especially not when it came to the short ball of energy, but seeing atsumu close to him made his insides curl.
at practice the next day he made eye contact with miya, something so simple, so stupid, made him want to die.
when miya used to hold eye contact at practice a little too long it used to make him feel warmth and love now he just sighs as he heads to the locker room showers first as always.
a few minutes later kiyoomi could hear the loud voices of the three other monster generation.
"tsumu-san we should go out to the club tonight!"
"yeah tsum tsum we should!"
"eh i dunno guys 'm kinda tired."
kiyoomi always knew atsumu had to be in a certain mood to go out clubbing.
guess it's not one of those nights.
kiyoomi walked past the three as he stepped out of the showers.
"omi-san come with us please!"
"no, not tonight."
it was a rehearsed response.
kiyoomi hated going out with the team unless he had to.
he continued walking and got dressed.
when he finished doing everything he needed atsumu walked out of the showers.
his hair was wet, only slightly towel dried and hanging in his eyes.
kiyoomi wanted so badly to brush the hair behind the faux blonde's ears but couldn't.
"hey omi, how are ya?" atsumu had the same beautiful brown eyes and curious expression as always.
"fine. you?"
"i'm fine too, i was just wonderin 'cause-"
"okay miya stop with the small talk. i'm glad you're doing fine, see you at practice tomorrow," kiyoomi knew he said this rather coldly but he wasn't about to have some awkward ass small talk with his ex.
the spiker ignored the flash of hurt that went through atsumu's eyes as he grabbed his bag and walked out of the locker room.
the next day at practice atsumu didn't try talking to him.
he didn't look at him as often and fuck it hurt.
but he couldn't blame the faux blonde and he couldn't blame himself either.
or maybe he could blame both because hell it was a mutual decision right?
yeah he laughed dryly "mutual".
the next few days at practice are quiet.
everyone knows what happened they all just know not to say anything.
they didn't want to make any assumptions and- how could they?
kiyoomi can't even make any assumptions himself because he barely knows what happened.
he wonders if atsumu feels the same.
does atsumu think about what he might've done wrong?
or what he could've done to fix it?
or if he still can fix it?
shit, kiyoomi thinks, i really need to stop.
about a week later at practice the faux blonde approaches him again.
"hey omi-"
"not now miya."
"kiyoomi listen."
the spiker nearly flinched at the stern voice and the stern look on his setter's face that was still some how adorable.
"what's up?"
"i-" atsumu sighed like he didn't know what to say. "i really think we made a mistake, like a really big one."
"what do you mean?" kiyoomi asked diminishing any hopeful thoughts.
"we shouldn't have ended things the way we did.." the faux blonde paused biting his lip in the way he always did when he was nervous. "omi i'm sorry. it's my fault i wasn't tryin hard enough to really talk to you. i really wanted to talk to ya about this now and if ya give me a second chance i'll be better i swear."
"atsumu it's not your fault. it was mine just as much as yours, i didn't try any harder than you did." the faux blonde looked like he was about the cry and kiyoomi felt like he was too.
atsumu didn't give any warning before engulfing the taller man into a hug.
he didn't ask- he didn't need to ask.
kiyoomi wanted this as much as he did as he gripped the faux blonde tight. he didn't want to let go, not again.
"i love ya so much omi," atsumu spoke as tears flooded his eyes.
"i love you," kiyoomi said as tears fell down his face as well. the spiker kept mumbling the three words over and over into the faux blonde's ear,
"i love you, i love you, i love you..."
the two held each other in the locker room of the gym for a long time. everyone else had left long ago.
they held each other close that night too, promising to never let go. not again.
because when they said forever, they meant it.
ayooo i'm low key proud that this only took me a few hours to write. i thought it would be a lot harder but it actually wasn't too bad, i really hope you guys liked it!!! <3
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