10:27 AM
We're fifteen minutes late. It doesn't matter much because the coffee house is jam packed. Students stand shoulder to shoulder in search of their caramel lattes and espresso shots. I spot Xavier immediately. He's at our table clad in dark denim jeans and his usual comical t-shirt. Today it's black with a white canoe silkscreened onto the front that states, "Paddle faster, I hear banjos." Half the eyes in the place are on him and I'd like to say it's the silly shirt, but it's not—it's the way he looks in it. Xavier is oblivious though, his eyes are fixed on the screen of his phone.
A nervous smile has taken shape on Jackson's normally confident face as he extends his arm and holds the door open for me. I slip past him. "You okay?"
"Never better."
I take the lead and walk to the corner where Xavier is. As soon as he looks up from his phone and spots me, he rises to his feet. Two cups of coffee are already on the table. Xavier's eyes dart to Jackson. "Would have ordered yours but I don't know what you drink. Sorry."
"All good," Jax replies, jamming his thumb behind him. "I'll grab something. If I'm not back in ten minutes, send out a search party."
Xavier's face is frozen impartially. He doesn't so much as crack a smile as Jackson walks away. Wordlessly, he pulls out my seat and I can't help but feel like I'm a child about to be scolded.
I sit, forcing a grin. "Good morning, Xavier."
He nods. "I was worried about you."
"Not necessary," I say. I motion with my hands across my body. "See, I'm all in once piece."
"Yeah?" he quirks his head to the left and arches a brow, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms over his chest.
"Yep," I say. "Perfectly whole."
"Good to hear I guess."
"You guess?"
"Yeah, Mouse. I guess. Takes a real lack of intelligence to spend the night with someone you don't even know."
"What? You do it all the time."
"I'm also six feet two inches tall and two hundred and seven pounds of muscle," X points out. "You're a buck ten soaking wet with a pocket full of rocks. I can take care of myself. Can't say the same for you."
How dare he! I lean forward. "X, don't be like this."
"Like what, Lola?"
"You're acting like I've done something wrong," I accuse.
"You did do something wrong," Xavier says. "You've gone off with some crazy guy who is stalking you after I warned you to be careful."
"It's not like that."
"Really?"
"Really," I say, unable to hide the smile that forms when I think of my time spent with Jackson. "He's incredible."
Xavier sighs, a long and drawn out intake of breath.
"Honestly. If you look past how mad it all sounds you'd be happy for me."
"Happy for you huh?"
"If you love me, you would want me to be happy."
His eyes narrow. "Mouse, I do love you. That's why I'm pissed. Take the emotion out of it for a second and look at it from my perspective. You are trying to sell me on the idea that some guy just shows up and claims to love you. You're a cutie Lola, but this is like trying to sell me on something I'm not sure I can ever believe in."
I roll my eyes. "You're the one who bought the cupcake."
"Right," he says. "The magic fuckin' cupcake that has made the man of your dreams materialize out of nowhere." His arms drop from his chest and he leans, draping his large body across the table. "You're lucky I'm not taking you to a shrink for a mental health assessment. You're lucky I know you well enough not to administer a mental health assessment myself. Guy could be delusional, psychotic. He could be a number of things and yet you don't give a damn because in less than a week, you're infatuated."
"He's not any of those things, Xavier. He isn't dangerous."
"Because you know him, right?"
Ugh. I want to grab him by the shoulders and shake him. "You haven't even given him a chance, Xavier."
"That's because I already know he's not good enough for you."
"You're wrong. You're all kinds of wrong."
"I'm not."
"Quit being so stubborn. How many women have I watched throw themselves at you?"
"It's different."
"How is that any different you misogynistic asshole?"
He reels back at my insult. "I'm not saying it's different because you're a girl."
"You are! You think because you're some big tough guy that it makes it any different. It doesn't." He's pissing me off. I want to leave. "So if that's not what you mean what exactly are you trying to say, Xavier? Spit. It. Out."
"It's different because you're naive, Mouse. You think you're not, but you are. You're too gentle, too trusting and God help me if you think I'm gonna sit around and watch some guy take advantage of that part of you. Over my dead body."
I point my finger at him as if it's a weapon. "Xavier Michael Morgan, you promised. You swore you'd give him a chance and yet here you are acting like someone has pissed in your cornflakes. I am not a little girl anymore, X!"
"No, Lola, you're not. You're a woman who used to hide behind music and books and schoolwork and all it takes is a sideways look from some guy to derail you."
"You said you'd give him the benefit of the doubt."
X crosses his arms over his chest and shrugs. "I'm here, aren't I?"
"Yeah an acting like an asshole. Are you jealous, Xavier? Is that it?"
"What if I told you I am?"
I open my mouth to reply but no words come out. I'm saved from saying something I may regret by Jackson walking over to our table with a large, white takeout cup in one hand and a paper bag in another. He swerves around my chair and sits himself next to me. Removing a cheese danish from the bag, he places it in front of me.
"Eat," he says.
But I can't eat. I've positively lost my appetite. If looks could kill, Jackson would be flat on the floor of this place. Xavier's eyes bear down on him with the force of an anvil. If Jackson notices, he doesn't flinch.
"She doesn't like danishes," Xavier says.
It's true. I don't really, but screw you, X. I snatch the pastry and pull a piece from the top, popping it in my mouth and turning to Jax. "Thank you. It's delicious."
Xavier gives a small shake of his head.
Jackson removes the plastic lid from his cup and takes a sip. "So, nice weather we're having, huh?"
I bite back a laugh. Leave it to Jax to say something so cliche in the hopes of easing the tension around us. It's so thick, I could cut it with a knife.
Xavier doesn't play. "Cut the bullshit."
My mouth drops. "Xavier!"
"It's okay," Jackson says, brining his coffee to his mouth. "He's understandably cautious, Angel."
"Call her Angel one more time in front of me," Xavier hisses. "You've known her for what 48 fucking hours and she's your Angel? You're falling for this horseshit Lo? Really? You're naive, but I didn't think you were stupid, too."
Jackson's posture stiffens. "Call her stupid again and this conversation will go from amicable to hostile in two seconds flat."
"Try me," Xavier challenges. "I'll squish you like a bug."
The confidence that was missing from Jax when we first walked in returns tenfold. "Try it. I need a workout."
I know the shop is packed and the last thing I want to do is cause a scene but I can't help it. I raise my voice. "Both of you, stop behaving like children. You're making asses of yourself!"
Heads turn. No doubt curious to see the asses in the making. So much for not causing a scene. "Xavier, you're being awful, just awful. You're my best friend and Jax, you..." I pause, unsure of exactly what Jackson is at this point. "No one has ever made me feel like you do. I'm not prepared to give up either of you. Xavier if you want to keep our friendship in tact, I highly suggest you find a way to regurgitate your bitter pill and Jackson, if you're right and you are my future, you need to understand that Xavier will always be part of it. Regardless of how much he may be behaving like a two year old child in the throes of a temper tantrum."
I stand, satisfied with my choice of words and in a show of bravado, I sling my purse over my shoulder. "I'm going back to the dorm. Come and find me when you two both decide to come to your senses."
"Lola, wait," Xavier pleads.
"Shut up, X. Just shut up. I don't want to hear it."
I spin on my heels and make the dramatic exit I'd intended. Madeline Mason is coming through the door I'm trying to leave from. Rather than move aside, she blocks me in the doorway. "You really must be something else."
"I beg your pardon?"
"You're walking away from two of the sexiest men I've ever seen. What's your secret? Playing a little hard to get?"
I toss a glance over my shoulder back at Xavier and Jackson. Neither one has moved. Jackson is talking, X is listening. I suppose it's a start.
"No secret," I say.
"Well," Madeline says. "Kudos to you. We should hang out sometime."
I look past her, behind her, to the side.
"What are you looking for?"
"Signs of the apocalypse," I say. "Surely it's coming if you want to spend time with me."
"There's nothing wrong with you, Lola. Never has been but you stay so hidden in Xavier's shadow, people never saw the point in trying to get to know you. You seem like a pretty nice person. I mean it, if you want time away from all the testosterone, call me."
Her words sink into every pore of my body. Is that Xavier's problem? He doesn't like that I've stepped out into the sun.
Tori is on a rampage in our dorm. The moment I walk in, I'm assaulted with the scent of ocean breeze liquid cleanser and I see her scrubbing at the walls with a Mr. Clean eraser. I screw up my nose at the pungent scent, throw my purse on my bed and follow it directly with my body. "What's with the cleaning?"
Tori cleaning. Madeline asking to hang out. Surely the end of the world is near.
"My parents are coming for a visit this weekend."
That explains it.
"Speaking of which, can you like not have Xavier here? Daddy still thinks there is something wrong with co-ed dorms and sex before marriage."
"You don't need to worry about that," I say. "Xavier is mad at me."
Tori stops scrubbing. "What? Is the sky falling too?"
"I know."
"Why is he mad at you?"
I turn to face the wall. "Jackson Sunday."
"Who is that again?"
"A guy who claims to love me."
Mercifully she says nothing for a moment as she continues scrubbing in a circular motion. The scrubbing stops. I know it's coming. "Do you love him back?"
Tears sting my eyes and I gasp.
My mattress sinks. Tori is now sitting beside me. "Lola, are you okay?"
"Yes. No. I don't know. I can't love him. It's impossible. I barely know him."
"Do you want to talk?"
"I'm all talked out," I say.
"You know I'm here if you need me."
"I know," I say. "Thanks Tori."
"You're crying," she says. "Want my opinion?"
"Sure."
"You love him back," she says.
I feel the tears begin to roll down my face, dropping softly on the pillow.