" I would have waited in every lifetime, "
- K.B
NATASHA SMIRKED, the sun feeling exceptionally brighter. The wind faded into a teasing whisper, slithering against Kaz's skin. He was frustrated, betrayed and even exasperated. Kaz couldn't believe he had left Natasha to dupe him like that.
All over again, he was nine, sitting by Jordie's side. They hadn't shared a word, a forced smile. Jordie and Kaz sat on the threadbare rug doing their best to hold themselves together. The brothers had lost their money, their happiness, all to the welcoming arms of greed.
He was a fool.
Kaz scowled, pushing past Matthias. A hill was sloping forward. He wanted to push, someone off. Matthias had frozen in his step, stumbling back in the snow. "Don't look," Natasha was already peering over the ridge.
Her brows furrowed in disgust before her pleased smirk dropped into a horrified gasp. The other crossed to her side.
Alessia swore, clamping a hand over her mouth - before steering Inej out the way. Jesper turned away. Natasha heard Wylen vomiting in the corner. Kaz hadn't bothered to look over, his face rock hard. Nina cried out, the sparkle in her eyes gone like a fused spark.
Three iron stakes were buried beneath the snow, bloodied and rusted. Jesper moaned as he pointed out the three skewered bodies. They were charred like coals, the skin still bleeding with smoked embers.
"Who would do this?" Wylen croaked, rubbing his sleeve across his lips. His body was shaking, the clasp of his cloak falling undone.
"That is what Frejdans do to Grisha," Nina said quietly. Natasha watched as Kaz looked over the edge, a vein in his jaw clenching. The white snow painted with a canvas of blood. It was horrifying.
Nina's and Matthias argument fell silent in Natasha's ears. She was watching the bodies. Their shapes were unidentifiable. Their skin had been burnt to ash, their organs peeking through layers of pink flesh.
"Na," One body moaned. Kaz froze, looking towards Natasha.
"It's still alive," Jesper said, biting down hard on his knuckles.
The body was struggling, crawling towards Natasha. It knew her. "Ta,"
"What is it saying?" A sob ripped through Nina's throat as she fell onto her knees. "Someone please, put it out of its misery," Jesper reached towards his belt for a gun, but Kaz shook his head. "Someone will hear us," He rasped.
"Sha,"
"I'll go," Natasha slipped silently over the ledge, kneeling beside the body. She rested a single hand across their eyes. The person was short, the clothes unrecognisable through the ash.
Its arm was trembling. "Na,"
"Please," Natasha moaned. "I don't know who you are, I'm sorry,"
"Ta," She slipped the dagger from out her sleeve, placing it across their heart.
"May the saints receive you," Inej prayed from the top of the slope.
The dagger pierced her heart.
They sobbed a horrific, keening sob. Natasha closed her eyes, feeling the warm liquid pool across her skin and blouse. They was gone. She had killed them.
Natasha couldn't get up. "Van Doren, we need to go,"
"I can't just leave them here," Her words felt phantom-like. Someone was swirling metallic words in her mouth.
"There's nothing you can do. It's dead. It's gone-"
"They have names. They were real people, Brekker," Kaz clicked his jaw, sighing in annoyance. His crow cane felt stiff in his hand. He didn't know what to say.
"The others are already ahead. Let's go,"
"They knew who I was," Natasha whispered. She looked up at Kaz with silver eyes, wet with tears. "They were moaning my name, Natasha,"
"I know," he said quietly. Kaz crouched down beside Natasha, slowly pulling her dagger from the bodies heart. "But you put them out of their misery. It's in a better place," He slid the dagger back up her sleeve.
"I killed them,"
"You did what you had to," His gaze was firm, brown eyes shadowed with secrets. "You did the right thing,"
"I feel horrible," She pressed her forehead against his shoulder, sobbing loudly. Kaz had never seen her cry so harshly. He flinched hard as Natasha dropped next to him, careless for the snow clinging onto her clothes.
"Van Doren," Kaz scowled.
"How could I not know who they are?"
"Van Doren,"
"I'm horrible,"
"Natasha, look at me," He hissed. Kaz tilted two fingers beneath her chin. She was shaking, still clinging onto his shoulders. Her lips were red, darker than rose petals. "You are not horrible,"
"You do not know what I am," Natasha said with trembling lips. "I am a monster. My magic is merzost," The darkness twitched on her fingertips. Kaz felt as if he had been plunged into ice water.
"I don't know what that means, but you're hardly more a monster than I am," Kaz said, laughing dryly. He grabbed Natasha by her sleeve, slowly picking her onto her feet. "Don't look at them," he said softly, tilting her head so she'd look at them. "Look at me,"
"Are you sure they're dead?"
Kaz kneeled by the body's side, pressing two fingers against its wrist. He nodded stiffly, awkwardly stepping onto his feet. "We should go. The other's are waiting," They walked on in silence, the occasional sniff from Natasha's part.
"Thank you," she mumbled after a while. Natasha kept her head down, not daring to look at him. "For being nice back there, you could have left me,"
"I was tempted," They fell into silence once more, the wind rattling against them - their boots crunched beneath the snow, snowflakes fluttering onto their lashes. "You're welcome,"
Natasha smiled weakly. Her hair stuck against her cheek, the collar of her blouse upturned to her knees. Kaz dropped his cane across her stomach, stepping in front of her. "You look a mess," he scowled. He swept her hair behind her ears, folding her collar into place. "If you're going to walk next to me, at least try to match my elegance,"
"My apologies, Mr Brekker," Natasha said sarcastically. She wiped the tears from beneath her eyes. "That my sadness ruins your aesthetic,"
"Apology excepted,"
Her lips crashed onto him, still wet from the snow. Natasha tasted like fire, kissed by darkness, and filled with hunger. Natasha's lips were soft against his, and she moved her hands cup his cheeks. Kaz was taken aback. He didn't have time to flinch or think of Jordie.
He met her passion.
His gloved hands passed through her hair, tugging gently on the roots. He could feel her smiling. All his repressed fury, his desperate longing, the lonely nights came seeping out. She responded to each word, kissing passionately, biting apologies onto his bottom lip.
Natasha pulled back. Her cheeks flushed, nose red. She laughed softly, cupping his cheeks in his cold palms. Fire danced across his body, but Kaz didn't care.
"I regret not doing that sooner," Natasha said softly, pressing a gentle kiss onto his lips. Kaz's heart fluttered in his chest. He couldn't stop himself from grinning.
"I would have waited in every lifetime,"
A/N
- 35 CHAPTERS LATER AND IT FINALLY HAPPENS! I probably won't torture you guys with another plot twist, but since so many of you were desperate for them to kiss here you go! I hope I wrote this well, I'm so awkward with writing kissing scenes. Anyways, thank you for reading if you enjoyed this chapter please vote and comment!
- rosa <3