~ 𝙰 𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚔 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛 ~
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Okay so it's been a week since me and Sakusa had that little romantic dance around the garden and before we go any further can we please all agree that he smells fucking amazing. Agreed? Okay cool let's carry on.
Since that one magical, euphoric, absolutely amazing evening that he organised outside, get on with it Y/n, me and Sakusa have been talking as per usual again and everything seems to be back to normal. However...
I can't help but to feel an insane amount of butterflies in my stomach whenever he walks into the same room as me. Least to say it ain't fucking fair. Stupid asshole emotions fuck them bro! But yeah anyway I've just been lazing around the house and chilling out lately since the weather has been so nice and warm, this routine isn't any different from any other day in my life may I remind you.
The days have been a bit quieter though. The Jackals had been dealing with an up and coming group that were causing some serious damage around the city so they've been a bit preoccupied this week. It's so strange to see Bokuto and Hinata being so serious as they walk up and down the halls of the house but then again they aren't just the huge goofballs that they portray themselves to be.
Anyway back to me becoming a whole bag of nerves around Sakusa, I've got no clue why I'm like this. I've tried thinking of all the possibilities but can't come up with a reason as to why whenever he walks into the same room as me I want to run out squealing like a little girl. I've also started feeling really giddy whenever he's around and I'm pretty sure Atsumu has picked up on this as well. If that bastard knows why I'm like this and starts teasing me I swear to - deep breaths Y/n, calm it down...
I got so bored with using my really big and smart brain so much in a time period of like fifteen minutes that I decided to take a wander around the house. The number of times I've walked around this place and I still don't know my fucking way around! On my journey I actually found a new room. It was a huge ballroom sort of area but instead of it being just a huge open room it had a really long dining table in it with chairs surrounding it. I wonder what kind of events they've held in here...it looks so clean what in the world? Fuck dusting this room...
I walked through the room a bit to see if there was anything hidden to explore in there but it turns out there wasn't so I left and continued on my adventure. However, due to me still not knowing my way around I had somehow ended up outside of Sakusa's office and his door was wide open so he had a clear view of me. "Y/n?" Oh for the love of -
I slowly spun around to look at him and then awkwardly waved. I'm really not doing okay lately. "Hi" I drag out the word before putting my arm back down by my side. "I didn't mean to bother you I was just walking around and now that I think about it I'm gonna get back to that so see ya!" As I was speaking I had turned back around again and had also gone to walk off but before I could he gently grabbed my shoulder and made me face him. "Shit..." I mumble so that he couldn't hear me. At least I hope he didn't...
"Why are you in such a rush? I wouldn't mind having some company" he whispers in my ear and I knew exactly what he was doing. I could've refused the offer but I chose not too because he's actually really nice to be around. His natural blank face makes it seem like he's unsociable but he really isn't, he just needs to warm up to whoever is around him. Speaking of warming up, my stomach right now...is doing somersaults WHY DID I AGREE TO THIS?!
It turned out that today I was the one who wasn't very talkative since I was sat on the black leather sofa twiddling my thumbs. He kept side eyeing me whilst he was typing on his computer and I'm not sure if he realised I was noticing or not. "Is something bothering you? You're abnormally quiet today..." shit he picked up on my behaviour. I dunno why I'm surprised it was kinda bound to happen not gonna lie.
"Uhhhh..." I panicked, I had no clue what to say so I just tried my best to think of an excuse and the best thing I could come up with was... "yeah I'm great just a bit if stomach ache, I really gotta go, talk to you later!" And with that I sprinted out of his office, down the stairs and did a few laps around the house before finding my room. I ran inside and slammed the door shut, instantly putting my back against it and sliding down to the floor. I sigh and rub my hands through my hair, "what is going on with me?" After a couple of minutes I get up and decided to go and take a shower to maybe help take my mind off of how stupid I'm acting lately. The last time I ran away from anyone was when Atsumu chased me around my own home...and that was a perfectly good reason to do so!
Speaking of Atsumu, I heard a knock from the other side of my door so I stood up and opened it to reveal the blonde haired male. "And how may I be of your service?" Instead of answering me straight away he just pushed past me to get inside and then sat down on the bed. Exsqueeze me? I close the door and sit next to him on the bed. "So~" I drag out.
"What the fuck is goin' on with ya?" This is what he chose to start off with. I wasn't sure if he was angry at me or concerned for me because his face gave away nothing, his eyes held no emotion in them and his lips weren't curved into a smile nor a frown. Should I feel worried or not?
I cross one leg over the other and place my hands on my lap. "What exactly are you talking about my dear friend?" I ask with a strained smile.
"Look drop the act I'm not angry with ya I'm just askin' cause Omi asked whether or not I knew why yer were acting off" he pat my shoulder a couple times before retracting his arm.
I turn to the side so that I am facing him and then take a deep breath before going to speak again. "Look, I don't exactly know what is going on with me but what I do know is that I'm starting to feel a bit weird when I'm around him" Atsumu seemed intrigued by what I was saying so he also ended up turning a bit on the bed so we were completely facing each other.
"What do yer mean by weird?"
"You want me to describe it to you exactly?"
"Only if yer comfortable with tellin' me"
I nod and rub my hands through my hair. This could actually help me out...he might know what's up with me..."recently, for some unknown reason I..." I paused to think out how I was going to word what I wanted to say. "I've been feeling butterflies in my stomach whenever I'm around Sakusa and I start talking really quickly and coming up with the worst excuses possible to get away from him...it's not that I don't enjoy his company I just feel so nervous being around him that I feel my only option is to run" as I was spilling my true feelings to Atsumu he was sat there quietly snickering to himself and only when I made eye contact with him again did he burst out laughing. "HEY! IT'S NOT FUNNY!" I punched his arm with quite a bit of force but because of his gigantic arm muscles it had no impact on him.
"I know I know I'm sorry" he wipes the corners of his eyes to get rid of any tears. It weren't even that funny...I mentally eye roll and grumble to myself as he calms down. "I just found it amusin' how ya aren't fazed if someone holds a gun to yer head but ya run away like a little girl if Sakusa glances in yer direction" now I see why he was laughing so much because that is actually a very good point, damn I'm really getting called out today...
"But anyway I know exactly why yer actin' like this" my head whipped up and I was looking at him expectantly. I knew coming to him was the right choice because under that thick and poofy yellow hair is quite a smart brain. Sometimes there is anyway but don't tell him I said that!
I lean forward since I was so desperate to know why I was acting like a complete twat and he just watched me with the slyest look on his face. If he wasn't helping me right now I'd wipe that shit eating grin right off of his face and clean the floor with it - woah okay bit too psycho there Y/n! "Well?! What's the reason?"
He chuckled and grabbed my shoulders, shaking me slightly. "It's as simple as this..." he pauses for dramatic effect, well I assumed so at least. "Yer like him"
I felt like everything stopped at that moment. "What?" He just shrugged and let go of my shoulders. "Well of course I do as I already said I enjoy his company-"
"No Y/n yer fuckin' dingbat"
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!"
"Yer being a dumbass that's what that was for!"
I lay down on the bed and huff. Did I seriously not understand what he meant? "What I meant by yer liking him is that yer like him more than a friend, yer have feelings for him is what I should've said" he run a hand through his hair and I kinda thought he was stressing out about this but he couldn't of been because I'm the one in the sticky situation. Then again putting up with my annoying ass can be quite stressfull - I need to stop insulting myself.
"Hold up a minute..." I sit up and hold my index finger up, pointing at him. "Did you just technically say I've got a crush on Sakusa?"
"If ya wanna talk like we're in high school then yeah"
"No fucking way...that's crazy dude!" I lightly slap his arm and stand up, laughing this whole situation off seemed to be the best option in my mind right now. However a thought came into my head so I quickly turned around to face him with some sort of panic on my face. "Do you think he likes me back?" Where are we? A school? There is no easy way to do this I swear to god.
He stands up and shrugs again. "I've got no clue that's somethin' ya need to find out for yerself" he goes to walk out of the room but I pull his arm back before he can. "What now?" But instead of speaking I just embrace him. "Uhm..." hesitantly, he wraps his arms around me and pats me on the back a few times. "Okay I get that yer grateful now get off of me" he usually doesn't push me away so I decided to question him.
"What with the rejection of my hug huh?"
He looks down at me and smirks. "Wouldn't want Sakusa to walk by and get the wrong idea now would we?" Is all he says with a teasing tone before walking out of my room, leaving me absolutely stunned.
Wait hold up a minute- "HEY! YOU ASSHOLE!" I yell even though there was probably no chance he would've heard me but I certainly hope he fucking did. "Piss haired bastard..." I grumble as I stumble over to my bed and then flop down on it.
Today has been such a crazy day and my body feels so exhausted but my mind is wide awake. How did I not realise that I had feelings for Sakusa? I understand that I've never really had a relationship before so I've got basically no experience with this shit but C'MON! I genuinely wonder if he likes me back though - Y/n you sound like a bloody teenager fawning over her high school sweetheart.
I thought about that for a little bit but then my mind was preoccupied with how I would discover if he felt the same way about me or not. I thought of setting up a cute little date and everything but then remembered I'm lazy as hell and wouldn't be able to set that up without him somehow finding out. Then again I could just approach him and be straightforward but that's hella awkward and if I get rejected I think I'd just fly out the window y'know? Maybe take a little stroll around the garden whilst rethinking my life choices, no need to be so dramatic hun holy moly!
A few more ideas flew into my mind and then flew straight back out again because I knew they had absolutely no chance of working so I just came up with something random that is completely something I would do and began to note down ideas.
I was mumbling what I was writing as I was writing it and what I didn't notice is that Atsumu had returned and was leaning against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest. When I finally spot him, I put my pen down and sit up properly to look at him.
"What?"
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