Everyone sighed as they filed out of the elevator and made their way to the bullpen. Derek stretched his neck as he sat at his desk, rolling his eyes in disbelief that Reid was still rambling about a vintage car we saw before we left Salt Lake City. Dave had already gone for the day, JJ was calling home to check on her son and Evan was dragging her heavy boots, a yawn coming from her mouth,
"Fuck, I need a drink," she groaned and fell into her chair, a few heads popping up from behind their computers.
"Isn't it a little early for drinks?" I checked my watch and noted that it was barely rush-hour.
"We just spent the last four days in Utah with shit coffee and no sleep. I need a whiskey."
"Girl, I hear that. Don't have to ask me twice."
Morgan rolled away from his desk, "if you think you can handle it."
"Excuse me!" she stood and grabbed her things as Reid decided to join in.
"Oh, you haven't seen Derek drink, Evan. He might actually crush you," he smiled and grabbed the jacket off the back of his chair.
"Don't you dare go without me," JJ grabbed her purse and started to follow Morgan, "if anyone needs a strong drink..."
"Wait, a minute!" I stopped everyone from practically running out the door and reached out to grab Evan's arm, "we just got back from a case, we all have a ton of work to do." I looked around at my team completely astonished. "There are reports and–"
"Hotch, come on, man," Morgan shrugged his shoulders, "can't it wait until tomorrow?"
"JJ, you should go get Garcia and see if she wants to go with," Evan completely ignored me, shoving past me towards the glass doors.
"Evan, you guys need to stay here. There is way too much work to be done."
"Then why don't you join us?" she raised a brow and bit at her lip in that persuading way. "Afraid you're going to have fun?"
"Yeah, Hotch," JJ's shoulders fell, "you hardly ever go out with us. We all had a long week, it'll be fun."
Reid nodded in agreement and it suddenly become four against one.
"I have a million things to do and so do all of you." I scolded the room as Evan rolled her eyes at me and shook her head in their direction.
"Come, on, Hard-Ass. Just a few drinks."
"You know I hate it when you call me that," I mumbled quietly, for only her to hear. She ran her tongue over her teeth and bounced her leg, the room waiting on me to answer. I looked over her shoulder then back at her with narrow eyes, "Fine."
"Yes!" JJ laughed and ran out the door in search of Garcia.
Evan grinned and pinched at my arm, skipping towards Morgan and Reid. "Dad said 'yes'! Let's go! Let's go!"
I laughed to myself and headed to my office to quickly put my work away before I caught up, trying to ignore the nervous feeling in my stomach. We haven't all been out together as a team since Evan has been here. I haven't tried to ignore her hands running up my thighs or tripping over my words with the whole team around, especially not in a casual setting. I knew that Evan and the other girls have gone out a few times and came back the next morning hungover and on occasion, Morgan would come in hungover with them but never all of us together.
"Hotch!" I heard Morgan call from across the bull pen. I shook my head at his impatience but soon heard boots coming up the stairs,
"Hey."
"What is it?" I looked up to see Evan standing in my door.
"Aren't you coming?"
"Yes, but I have to do something before we leave." I tried to organize a few things to make it a little easier in the morning. She just stood there watching me with that grin. "What?"
"I'm just excited to see how you'll do with everyone else around." I could see that look in her eye. "You gonna dance?"
"I don't dance," I reminded her, having had this discussion once before when she asked me to dance in the middle of my parking garage, one night.
"Sure, you do," she leaned against the door jam and applied a layer of lip balm. "Anyone can dance with enough alcohol."
"I don't really drink either."
"Not from what I've known." She pushed herself of the jam and walked the room to me. I knew she was referring to the few nights that the two of us went out for drinks after work, just me and her. I would sit there and maybe get two drinks down while she pounded whiskey after whiskey without batting an eye.
"That was a little different," I tried to defend myself. "That was just the two of us. Just you and me...trying to keep your hands out of my lap."
"So, you're saying that if we dance together, you won't try to cop a feel?" She grinned up at me and hooked one finger on my belt.
"Evan, please," I looked out the blinds at the bull pen of other profilers that were too busy with work to notice that Evan was trying to grope me in my office. "You're gonna have to behave yourself, tonight. We're gonna be out with the team..."
"Agent Hotchner," she mocked and walked back to the door, "when have I ever misbehaved?" She winked in my direction and skipped back down the stairs for the elevators. I rolled my eyes and checked my watch, already regretting the next few hours.
It only took me a good ten minutes to remember why I never went out. We had showed up in our own cars but all met at the front door together, Evan making quick work of chatting up the bouncer. She laughed as he waved us all in, eyeing me and Reid in that way that we were both used to. Between Morgan, Garcia, JJ and now Evan, Reid and I stuck out like sore thumbs. We were always dressed in our suits and nice shoes, compared to the casual jeans that the rest of the team would usually wear. As soon as we got inside, I took off my jacket and put it across my arm, already feeling uncomfortable. We followed a young girl to a corner of the room and before we could even sit down, Morgan slapped a hand on the table,
"First round is on me!"
"Derek, you know I don't do shots." Reid shuffled his way around to a chair and hung his jacket on the back. "I'll just take a soda."
"You're kidding me right now," Morgan laughed, "not acceptable. At least one."
"I'll do a shot if Hotch does one." Reid looked at me with at proud smile and the table went silent. I could already see Evan grinning in the dim light of the room, practically daring me.
Now, it was five against one. "Fine."
The table hollered and JJ gestured to Garcia and Evan to follow her to the bathrooms. "We'll be back! Don't start without us!" they called over their shoulders and disappeared into the growing crowd of people.
"You guys are going to get me in trouble," I mumbled to myself and hung my jacket on my chair, rolling up my shirt sleeves. I just felt so out of place. This was the kind of place that I could see Morgan going to, or even Garcia on a good day. If Emily were here, her and JJ would be dragging Reid to the floor to dance while I was at home, being none the wiser. And of course, Evan blended right in.
"Yeah!" Morgan came back with a tray of overflowing shot glasses and handed them out. "Where'd the girls go?"
"Bathroom," Reid and I echoed, eyeing the alcohol and limes in the middle of the table. It got quiet for a moment as we waited for the girls to come back, Morgan already generating a plan of attack for the dance floor. It was only a few more moments of silence before the girls came back and the hollering started up again.
"Shots!" Garcia laughed and snatched one off the table.
"Only one each?" Evan laughed as JJ distributed the rest of them.
"Slow down, girl! Next round is on you, then!" Morgan grinned across the table and everyone raised their glasses. He counted down and down they went, Evan's eyes never leaving mine. I knew she was proud of me, doing tequila shots before the sun was even set must have given me some major points.
"How do you do that?" JJ turned to Evan who had eaten the whole slice of lime.
"I like limes."
"No, I mean, you don't even blink!" She winced at the sour in her mouth and coughed. "You take shots like it's water." I saw Evan whisper something in her ear and JJ's face blush, "oh, my god!"
"What?" I got curious, knowing it must have been something inappropriate.
"Come on, let's go!" Morgan clapped his hands and danced his way to the middle of the crowd, the music picking up and the lights diming down. Evan took JJ's hand and drug her to the floor, leaving me, Garcia and Reid at the table.
"Why aren't you going?" Reid turned to Garcia and sipped his Coke.
"I'm more of a watcher," Garcia winked and wiggled in her chair to beat.
By the fourth or fifth song, Morgan and Even were inseparable. The rest of the room didn't exist, which meant that I didn't either. I tried to keep my jealousy down with drinks, watching them dance like that making me sweaty and nervous. I knew I had nothing to worry about, it was just dancing and having fun. Evan was not the type of woman that Morgan would go after and I knew that as soon as we left this place, Evan was going to be trying to talk her way into my pants. I sipped my drink with anger, wishing I was the one out there dancing with her. I mean, I definitely don't dance like that but watching Morgan's hands on her hips and her body bumping into his...
"Wow, they're really having a good time," Reid murmured to the table.
"Why don't you join them, Pretty Boy?" Garcia nudged his arm and waved her brows, already tipsy. "I'm sure there's a gorgeous girl here, somewhere, that will teach you to dance like that."
"I don't think so," Reid chuckled and finished his drink. "What about you, Hotch? You gonna dance?"
"Oh, the Great Aaron Hotchner doesn't dance," Garcia grinned from across the table. "Not even at JJ's wedding, remember. We all tried to get you to do the limbo and you sat at your table like a party pooper."
"Excuse, me?"
"Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen you dance." Reid joined in, "like ever. Unless it was like, a slow dance or Rossi talked you into it."
"I dance, okay," I contradicted my early statement to Evan, having a hard time remembering the last time that I actually let loose.
"Sure, you do."
"Okay, then," I downed the rest of my drink and shook the burn from my throat. "Garcia." I held out my hand and stood from my chair, the alcohol running through my body and back up to my brain. Bravery suddenly hit me and I felt like I needed to prove a point.
"Really?" she jumped up from her chair and took my hand, Reid being left behind with a baffled and surprised look on his face.
We danced our way over to Morgan and Evan, both of them hollering for us to join them, the same look of surprise and excitement on their faces.
"Yeah, Hotch! Get it!" Morgan laughed and raised his hands in the air with a smile, ushering Garcia over to the circle. She scurried over and pressed herself between him and another guy that came up to her, suddenly leaving me alone. I only wondered for a moment where JJ could have gone but then I felt a sweaty hand grab mine. I spun around to see Evan smiling with a bit lip,
"You're being awfully brave."
"I got tricked into it."
"Sure, you did."
She put my hand on her hip and shuffled us back into a crowd and away from Morgan and Garcia. She wrapped her hands around my neck and I felt a sudden panic,
"Don't," I watched her body move with the music and the lights flashing off her sweaty face, a curl sticking to her cheek. "I shouldn't have come."
"Are you serious?" she thew my hands away from her.
"No, I mean – I should go sit back down. With Reid." I felt like I had to scream for her to hear me and I was already getting sick of getting bumped into. "I shouldn't dance with you like – I think that's a little too far."
"You finally work up the courage to come out with us, get on this floor and now you're pussying out?" She shook her head and I knew she was disappointed in me. She ignored me trying to stammer an excuse and headed back over to Morgan and Garcia, getting in the middle of their little dance party.
I was disappointed in myself. Part of me wanted to just retreat to the table and hide in the corner with Reid but the other part of me still wanted to prove everyone wrong. I took a deep breath and shoved my way over to them, wedging myself between this other guy that was getting a little too handsy with Evan. I asserted my dominance and he backed off just as Evan realized that I had come back.
"Did you find your balls?"
"Shut up."
I let her words sink in with the alcohol and finally started to move, my hands doing what I had seen Morgan's doing earlier. I put my hands on her waist and moved her against me, her body bumping into mine. I held her close and pushed into her, making sure that everyone around us knew that she was mine. I only had to threaten a few guys with a stern look but after a while, I understood it all. I felt like we were the only ones in the room, just my hands on her body and her ass grinding into me. I could smell our sweat mixing with the stale stench of alcohol and the perfume on her skin starting to fade. Only when I really stopped to take a breath did I come back to reality and realize that JJ had left and Morgan and Garcia were back at the table with Reid. I looked over crowd and noticed that all of them were definitely watching.
"Evan," I stopped and caught my breath, "stop."
"What?" she put her sweaty cheek against mine, not being able to hear me over the music.
"They're watching us."
"Who?" she stumbled back and looked over towards our table, all of them watching with smiles and fresh drinks. "So. We're dancing."
"No, Evan," I shook my head and swallowed the dryness in my throat. "We need to stop. I need a break, anyway."
"Okay, then," she smiled and took my hand, leading me though the crowd and back over to our table.
"Damn, Hotch!" Morgan laughed when I sat down and felt my legs tingle. "I had no idea you could get down like that!"
"He just needed a push!" Evan grinned and called someone over to order another drink.
"Who knew," Garcia shook her head with a smile and Reid nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, I would have never thought you could move like that. No offense."
"I didn't know I could move like that," I winced at the sudden pain in my back. "I'm gonna be feeling that tomorrow."
"Means that you had fun, my man." Morgan slapped my arm and ordered another drink for himself, "any other orders?"
"I think I'm gonna call it," Reid shouted across the table and slid out of his chair. "I have a book at home I want to read. It's about the quantum theory of pro-"
"Goodnight, Reid." Morgan shook his head and we all said our goodbyes.
"Wait...goodnight?" I checked my watch and groaned at the fact that we had been here for hours already. "Shit, it's already almost nine."
"It's early, man! We still got lots of dancefloor to tear up!"
"I wanna go again," Garcia dipped out of her chair and pulled at Morgan's shirt. "Take me away, Cowboy!" She and Morgan laughed as they headed back to the floor, leaving me and Evan alone at the table.
She grinned and slowly made her way over to me, her eyes a little heavy with alcohol. "I'm proud of you."
"What did I do?" I felt my dehydration and drinks catching up to me, my shoulders lazy and my words slowing down.
"You know what you did," she smiled and thanked the waitress as our drinks came to the table. She sipped, "I never would have guessed."
"What?" I scooted closer to hear her, a curl tickling my nose.
"We should leave," she said suddenly and jumped up from her chair.
"What?" I stood up and grabbed my jacket, looking to the floor for Morgan and Garcia. "Can we just leave them?"
"They're fine. Let's go." She grabbed my hand and tossed down some money on the table before I could even reach for my wallet.
"Wait-" I tripped over my own feet as I was dragged through the crowd and out the door, the bouncer calling out for us to have a good night as we left.
"Are you good to drive?" she dragged me around the building to the parking lot, unlocking her car. I fumbled in my pocket for my keys and tried to focus on one thing at a time.
"I think I'm okay," I unlocked my car, that was parked right next to hers and knew I should have called an Uber .
"Okay," she said as more of a question and watched me struggle with my seatbelt. "I'll see you at your place, then."
I nodded and slowly put the car in reverse and rolled out of the parking lot. I looked in my mirrors and saw Evan right behind me whole way home. By the time we both finally got to my building, I was feeling a lot better. I think just having those twenty-some-odd minutes to relax and sit down was what I needed.
"You made it!" she tripped out of her car and jumped at the loud 'beep' of the lock.
"Should you have driven?" I watched her stumble a bit, wondering just how many drinks she had had. "Are you okay?" I laughed as she looked up to me with soft, drunken eyes.
"I'm fine," she smiled and gave me a sloppy kiss. I chuckled against her lips,
"Okay, let's get inside before you ask me to dance, again."
"I'm gonna get you to dance in a parking lot one day, Aaron." She laughed and opened the door to the stairs, "just you wait."
I laughed and followed her up the stairs to my floor, shushing her what seemed like every other second. I had learned, after a few times of drinking with her, that she got incredibly loud when she was drunk. I felt like I was constantly trying to keep her quiet and calm, her hands also gaining a mind of their own when she was a bit tipsy.
"Evan, stop," I shoved her hand away from my belt on the second-floor landing. And again, on the third floor, I had to swat her hand away from pinching my ass. "Evan!" I laughed and jumped, "would you knock it off?"
"I wanna play with you," she grinned and shoved me against my neighbors' door, that look in her eye.
"Stop it," I took her hand and pulled her to the right door, immediately getting shoved back into it. Her hands were all over me in a matter of seconds and I tried to keep my hands on her hips. The way she kissed me when she was a bit drunk and obviously in a mood, made it incredibly hard to behave myself.
"I need to go inside," I managed to say in between her lips attacking me. I could feel myself getting all worked up and the alcohol settling in, again.
"Is that an invitation?" she smiled against my lip and pushed her hips into mine. I groaned at the feeling of her pressing against my erection, and took a deep breath.
"You know that it's not."
She sighed and pulled away from me, her fingers picking at the buttons of my shirt with a disappointed look. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"Are you sure you want me?"
"What?" I was a bit confused by her question, her having literally just felt how turned on I was. "What do you – what are you taking about?"
"I mean," she sighed and rolled her eyes, "I know what you said before but it's been like two months and all we've done is make out against your door." Her eyes were practically begging me, pleading with me to take her inside and throw her on my bed.
"Do you not like making out against my door?" I tried to deflect her question with a joke but she stopped me with narrow eyes and a stern look. "Evan, it's not that I don't want – it's just – it's complicated because of work."
"Oh, my god," she rolled her eyes and her arms dropped to her side.
"Evan," I was already scolding her for the attitude I was about to get. "I just want us to have plausible deniability."
"I know, okay, I know," she nearly shouted and I jumped to shush her, again. "Don't shush me!"
"Please, be quiet," I tried to calm her down. "Just listen to me." I put my hands on her shoulders but she was quick to shove me away.
"Just..." She suddenly got serious and I felt a wave of guilt wash over my stomach. "Look, I'm not just trying to be some horny school girl but this is getting a little ridiculous."
I nodded, fully understanding her frustration. At first, I had it in my mind that refraining from anything too sexual was for the better, that if anything were to happen at work, we would at least have that little bit of leeway. We could at least say that our 'relationship wasn't sexual' but the more we kept seeing each other and the longer this went on, the more I was realizing that it just wasn't going to be acceptable.
"You're right," I admitted.
"I'm not trying to sound like – wait, did you just tell me that I was right?" She stopped dead in the middle of her arguing and looked at me with wide eyes. "Did Aaron 'Hard-Ass' Hotchner just tell someone else that they were right?"
"You know I hate it when you call me that," I rolled my eyes and put my hands back on her shoulders. "Evan, I'm not trying to be a prude, here. I mean, look at me."
Her eyes glanced down and back up with a grin.
"It's not that I don't want you," I pulled her into me and kissed at her jaw, her immediately melting into my arms, "I just really don't want either of us to lose our jobs because we – because..."
"Because we fuck?"
I laughed, "do you always have to be so vulgar?"
"Aaron, you know that if something were to happen with work, it would be okay," she reassured me and wrapped her arms around my neck. "I mean, I don't think Strauss is in any position to say shit about sleeping with co-workers."
"What?" I pulled away, confused. "What is – who is she -?"
"Never mind," she laughed and ran her nose across my cheek, "I would never do anything to jeopardize your job, Aaron. You know that."
"Even though you get me in trouble, literally every single week?" I reminded her of her numerous times that her and I had to have conferences with Strauss because of something that she did on a case.
"Do you still a have a job?" she grinned up at me with a raised brow. We both laughed and I understood what she meant, feeling suddenly too comfortable with the fact that we were standing in the middle of the hallway.
"You wanna come in?" I said against her cheek and just waited for her to give me that surprised look.
"Really?"
I nodded and kissed down her neck, my stomach doing flips, "really."
She sighed, "yes, Sir."
I laughed into her skin and reluctantly pulled away to get the keys out of my pocket. I barely got the door open and flipped the light switch before she had me pinned against the door again, "Jesus, Evan!" I laughed and shoved her off of me to set the alarm before it went off.
"Wait, is Jack home?" she stopped and peeked around the corner to look down the hallway to his bedroom door.
"No, he's still with Jess, but –" I was interrupted with her hand on me through my pants and her lips on my neck. "Evan, slow down." I put my hands on her shoulders in hopes to keep her still for more than two seconds.
"Sorry," she giggled and swayed a bit in the dim of my living room.
I smiled at her enthusiasm, "come here." I took the jacket off of her shoulders and laid it on the couch, hearing her take a deep breath. I looked up to see her smiling, not grinning, no bit lip, just a soft smile.
"What?" I finally asked as I took off my own jacket and hung it on the hook. She shook her head and walked to me, her hands sliding around my waist and sending a shiver though my body. I let her kiss me, softly and not like I remember her ever kissing me before. It wasn't urgent and it wasn't heavy. She kissed me like we didn't have someone about to come through the door and catch us, not like we were on a time schedule and I had to come inside before Jess got angry with waiting for me. She kissed me like we had time.
"Aaron?" she whispered.
"Yeah?"
"You know, if you're that uncomfortable and that – like – we don't have to do – I can't tell if I'm drunk or if your stuttering is contagious."
I chuckled and kissed the corner of her mouth, "probably both." I kissed down her neck and to the collar of her shirt, it smelling like sweat and old perfume. "Let's just see what happens."
I felt her nod against my cheek and her nails scratch up my neck and into my hair. I felt another shiver through my whole body and knew that if it got all the way to a certain point, I wouldn't last very long. My knees shook and that wave of warmth in my stomach as her hips pushed into mine.
"Come here," I pulled away to get her to follow me to the couch. I tossed one of Jack's toys on the floor and put the PlayStation controller on the coffee table, not expecting her to climb into my lap before I could even hit the cushion. "Shit."
"Is this too much?" she asked as her weight fell into my lap and my breath caught in my throat.
"Just – it's been a while." I tried to think of the last time I was in this situation and was embarrassed at the answer.
"Is that why you haven't tried anything?" she pushed her hips further into mine, "do you have performance fear?"
I rolled my eyes, "I told you why."
"Uh, uh," she kissed me to shut me up and moved my hands from her thighs up to her hips. I tried not the be the one to move, letting her grind against me and create this heat in my lap that was making those waves in my stomach more intense. I found myself biting my lip between kisses and my hips having a mind of their own, somehow picking up on those little things that Evan would do to me. Every time I felt her push down into me, I would push back up into her and rub myself against her inner thigh. I moaned against her neck as her fingers raked down my chest and popped open the top button.
She bit at her lip then bit mine, "you okay?"
"So far," I moaned against her lips and moved my hands up her hips to her chest, playing though her shirt. I could feel her breathing speed up each time her hips pushed down into mine and each time I pushed back, my pants getting tighter and tighter. I don't remember the last time I was -
"Evan," I sighed against her neck, feeling a sudden panic in my chest sink further into my stomach. She kept rocked her hips into me and I much as I loved it, I needed her to stop, "Evan." I grabbed her hips and tried to keep her still but she must have thought that I meant for her to keep going...because she didn't stop and neither did I. "Shit."
"Aaron? Did you –"
"Don't – just don't say anything." I kept my eyes closed and could tell that my face was bright red. My fingers were still gripping her thighs for dear life and I couldn't move. I was too embarrassed to even look her in the eye.
"Aaron," she giggled and kissed the corner of my mouth, "it's okay."
"No, it's not," I covered my face and laughed at myself, "that was embarrassing."
"That was hot," I could hear the smile in her voice as she carefully wiggled her way out of my lap.
"I don't think I've ever done that, before."
"From the looks of it, I believe you."
"Shut up," I rolled my eyes and wondered how I was going to walk all the way to the bathroom like this. "I think I need a shower."
She laughed and held out her hands to help me off of the couch. "Can I join you?"
"Evan," I mumbled and clumsily made it to my feet, "I couldn't possibly ask you to join me." I paused and looked down again at the mess on my pants and wondered how none of it ended up on her jeans, too.
"You can't go again?"
"Don't," I shook my head, still embarrassed and flustered, "just don't." I took a few steps away from the couch and felt my pants sticking to me. This was incredibly uncomfortable and I have no idea how Evan was being so calm about it. I was just waiting for numerous jokes and teasing to come from her as I waddled awkwardly down the hallway and into my room. I sighed and flipped on the switch for the little lamp on the nightstand.
"Aaron's room," she grinned and immediately went to the bed.
"Just wait, here," I told her and walked into the bathroom. "I'll be just a minute. Don't get into trouble."
She nodded, silently and fell back into my neatly made-up sheets. I smiled to myself and closed the door, afraid to look in the mirror at the reflection of my messy pants.
I took a quick shower, making sure to wash every part of me twice. I tried to do it quickly, not wanting to keep Evan waiting. I could only imagine the trouble she was getting into, probably going through my drawers and looking through my bookcase ... Once I got out and wrapped a towel around my waist, I noticed how quiet it was. I wondered what I would catch her getting into as I opened the door,
"Evan?"
She was curled up in my bed, half-naked and passed out asleep. Her boots, her jeans and her bra were laying in my floor, strewn in all different directions. I tiptoed across the room to grab some clothes from my dresser and checked the time,
"Evan?" I put my hand on her shoulder and tried not to stare at her naked legs, wrapped up in my clean sheets.
"Hmmm," she groaned and curled up tighter.
"You should just go home and get some sleep," I whispered and leaned down over her face, brushing my nose against her cheek. I pushed a curl out of her face and let my hand run down her arm. I couldn't remember the last time I saw a woman this naked and in my bed. I laid down next to her and just stared at her skin. In the dim light of the room, I counted more tattoos on her thighs and a few scars and bruises around her knees. I traced a red flower tattoo on her arm with my fingers and smiled at the old band aid that I knew had come from this past week when she ran into that shelf. I listened to her breathing, admiring how calm she was. It wasn't often that she was quiet and still, simultaneously, a rare occurrence that needed to be remembered.
"Just this once," I yawned and rolled over to turn off the light.