content warnings: one-sided love, extreme amounts of jealousy, mentions of Maeve, mention of prison, mentions of implied sexual abuse.
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She'd fallen for Spencer Reid the moment she'd first laid eyes on him.
It was something straight out of a movie, the way her heart fluttered and she felt her breath catch in her throat, his large smile and soft eyes making her feel things deep in her gut, feelings that she didn't even know existed until she met him. He greeted her with a grin and a small, awkward wave, telling her that he doesn't shake hands due to the number of pathogens passed. She was a bit disappointed, because she wanted nothing more than to feel his large hand wrap around her much smaller one for just a moment, wondering if it would send sparks through her system the same way his words did. But she felt her disappointment fade easily when a blush creeped onto his cheeks, tinting his skin a rosy pink. She immediately decided that it was her favorite color on him.
Her love for him only grew day by day, with his long rambles on any and all topics that she happily listened to, sometimes even asking for him to tell her things just so she could hear the sound of his voice and lull her into a state of peace.
She was in deep, and she didn't know how to stop falling. But she didn't want to, because falling for him was the easiest thing she'd ever done, and she was in for the ride.
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The first time he hugged her she thought she was going to burst. It was everything she'd imagined it would be and more, the tingles it sent through her body, the feeling of his skin pressed so close to her's... everything about it made her dizzy. He was warm and soft, hair tickling the side of her face as she pressed her chin into his neck, smelling of old books, cinnamon, and spearmint.
It had been after a long, grueling case, and the unsub had made a shot at her, only to miss her neck by a couple of centimeters. He'd been so scared for her that he pulled her into his arms the second he let down his gun, the shot still ringing in the air after he pulled the trigger, making the man fall to his immediate death.
She supposed she should feel a bit of fear, for just seconds before she nearly came into contact with death and he had just shot a man, but all she felt was happiness.
Because Doctor Spencer Reid was hugging her, and it was easily the best feeling in the world.
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They'd become fast friends in the couple of months following her arrival to the BAU. He'd told her about everything in his life; his mom, his dad, Gideon, Tobias Hankel, Maeve, the addictions... and she'd wept a tear for him, pulling him into her arms and saying that she was sorry all of that had happened to him.
He deserved all of what was right and well in the world. His heart was too pure and good to deserve so much hurt cast upon him, and she cursed the universe for causing someone so much pain who didn't deserve it.
But she promised to be there for him, and the watery smile he gave her in response was all she needed to know that he knew she would never leave him.
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She'd been at the BAU for about a year when they'd first come in contact with Catherine Adams. She took one look at the women's photo and saw from the small smirk on her glossed lips that this case was going to be bad. In a group of four hitmen, was it really necessary that he had to be the one to go up against the one with the highest body count? It was his idea though, so she brushed off her worries and gave him a smile, because she trusted him. She trusted him more than anyone she'd met before.
The second Catherine Adams had walked into the restaurant and greeted him, her hate intensified. The woman was acting bubbly and awkward, trying to seem as if everything between them was casual, and that only made her sick to her stomach. What was worse was the fact that Spencer was behaving the same. Whether it was just for show or not, she didn't know, but the feeling in her gut wouldn't settle, because even though it was just a trap, he was sitting across from a beautiful woman, in an expensive restaurant, blubbering like an idiot, on what was essentially a date.
She couldn't help but feel a bit bitter. She should be the one across from him, giving him a dazzling smile and making him stutter over his words as they talked and laughed.
At the end of the night, she could tell that he was beaten down, a tiny part of him gone. A bit of the sparkle in his eyes had disappeared, and she wanted nothing more than to slap Cat for causing him more pain than what he had already been dealt.
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Prison came like a whirlwind to her. She knew that the genius she loved was innocent, she knew it all along. Because she knew him, and he was the last person on the face of the Earth to be able to commit such a crime, no matter the amount of drugs in his system.
She visited him the most out of everyone, going off of the schedule the lovely Penelope Garica had designed for them, unable to breathe unless she saw him as often as she could. He appreciated it every time, half-heartedly joking about not doing her job correctly due to focusing so much on him that she knew was really just his way of saying thank you.
When they found out that Catherine Adams was behind his wrongful arrest and not Mr. Scratch, she wanted to scream. Scream because of course, of course it had to be the person who had gotten under his skin more than anyone else from a single, one night interaction. Of course, it had to be the unsub who had made her boil over with hate from the very beginning. Of course, it had to be her.
Seeing him again, cuffs and prison uniform free for the first time was like coming up for fresh air after thrashing beneath the water's surface for so long. She saw the confusion in his eyes when both her and JJ stood in front of him, but when the blonde told him what was happening and she saw the pure relief shining in his seas of hazel she felt like she could finally breathe again. He hugged JJ first, holding onto her for dear life before moving on to her, hands balled into the fists of her jacket as if he let go she would disappear.
Watching him and Cat from the other side of the one-way glass sparked a sense of jealousy over her whole body. It was a ridiculous thought, she knew that. He was playing into the woman's game, extending the fantasy to fit her immense satisfaction.
When Cat sprawled herself across his lap she felt the overwhelming urge to throw the door open and rip the former hitwoman off him. But instead, she stood idly by, hands clenched into fists at her side, nails bleeding into her skin as the brunette traced her slender fingers across his face and chest, lips brushing against his ear, placing tiny, barely there kisses on his skin. It made her mad, cursing at the world, wondering why her of all people got to do the things she had only been able to dream about.
But the thing that set her skin ablaze was the fact that Spencer didn't look repulsed by her being there. He was uncomfortable, the unwanted and unplanned touch setting something off inside of him. The stiffness was still there, that part was obvious, but he made no move to show that he physically felt repulsed by her, even going as far as to look her directly in the eyes. She couldn't help but wonder why —why he didn't look like he wanted to throw her off of his body and scrub himself clean. Why didn't he, when she did?
The two words that fell from the women's lips made her heart stop in her throat, because no —no it couldn't be true. That woman couldn't have done something so cruel, something that would haunt him for the rest of his days.
In the end, when they were dancing, she felt her peak of jealousy. Because he told her that he didn't dance. He only danced with Maeve in his dreams. And yet, there he was, dancing with her.
The words he was saying sounded so real that she didn't even know if they were real or not. He told them otherwise, but the pure emotion behind them had herself questioning if he really did believe that. If he really did believe that they deserved each other.
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The last encounter with Cat Adams had her thinking it would be the final one. But she was proven wrong, because she was exiting out of the doors of the BAU's elevator, donning a face mask and bright orange jumpsuit, giving them all blank stares as she made it to the destination of her desire.
Watching them together once more brought out feelings of hate she had thought were long gone. She had come to terms with the fact that he would never think of her the same way she did him. She was more than happy that she could be one of his best friends —someone to talk to when he needed to get his feelings out, a shoulder to cry on when things became just a bit too overwhelming, even if she longed for something more. She never let her love for him stop her from being happy. She accepted dates with smiles and blushed when someone would shyly ask for her number.
Her hate for the woman in the orange was something she couldn't place.
For some reason, she had been the one to watch them on their date, leading the team of SWAT agents inside of the building. Luke had been the first choice, but she rebutted, and the doctor had said that having her there would be better. Reasons were unknown, but Cat hated him around any woman other than herself, so she supposed that was why.
CAT+SPENCIE 4-EVR!!!
It struck her as odd. He was the one who planned everything in the roller rink, from what would be played over the speakers, to the lights, to the decor. He made an effort. He made an effort for her.
It was their anniversary, that's what Cat had said. Four years. Four years since they had first met. And even though he was physically unable to forget, it hit a nerve in her that he made an effort to show that he remembered.
It was when she saw her arm linked in his, hand fisting his suit jacket that she realized that maybe Catherine Adams wasn't as delusional as she thought.
—Because Spencer Reid was smiling. Smiling and laughing, biting back grins and holding her close to him with no resistance. He was skating around the rink with her help, a gorgeous woman on his arm while he looked like he genuinely enjoyed her company.
It wasn't fair, she thought. Why did she get to do this? Maybe it's because Cat was beautiful, even after months in prison. A bit of makeup and a nice outfit made her the whole package. She was dressed up, and so was he. They were enjoying the company of each other, because it was a date.
Cat wanted him to prove it. Something he said that she hadn't been able to hear, too far away to make out the words coming out of his mouth in a powerful manner in the back of the rink.
He gripped her hair, pulling Cat impossibly close to him. She thought that maybe this would be it, maybe she was just imagining things. Maybe he just hated her so greatly that he wanted nothing more than to play with her feelings.
But no. Instead it was passion.
Passionpassionpassion.
It wasn't hesitant or hateful.
It was passionate.
He breathed her in, as if she was the oxygen he needed to survive. She responded with equal vigor, lips moving in sync against his. Whatever they had between them for years was pouring through, telling their stories and letting out all their emotions through their lips, and she could tell that neither one of them really wanted to stop.
She had to physically tear him off of her, and she supposed that that's what hurt her the most. Because she had never seen him the way he was just then. Not for anyone, but her.
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She realized it later on. Her and Catherine Adams were more alike than she would ever admit. Because they were both in love with Spencer Reid.
Her and Catherine Adams were different. She loved Spencer Reid in the way that she would do anything to take away his pain, and her as the one to cause it.
Her and Catherine Adams were nothing alike. Because while she was in love with Spencer Reid, he didn't feel anything for her.
Her and Catherine Adams were nothing alike. Because while Catherine Adams was in love with Spencer Reid, he was a little bit in love with Catherine Adams too.
Fin.
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my finger slipped-
okay so like, i finally posted them? i have so many ideas for cat and spencer, so if you like this please let me know so i could put some more content out there!
i know this is far from great, but since the content in this fandom is very limited any amount of fics for them, i thought maybe even this would be appreciated.
this is written so if you wanted the 'she' to be you, it could be, or if you wanted it to be an OC it could be that too. depends on what you're into!
if you guys liked this, please let me know! i love writing for cat/spencer and it's really nice to know if other people like what i do with them too!