2017 || last month of the school year.
"Hey Seunghee, I've been curious- if you were scared of riding vehicles, how did you manage to travel to Seoul?"
"Honestly- I don't know either. It was difficult and I sweated a lot, I actually felt like I was dying on my way here but then, I heard music and it practically- saved me." Seunghee smiled at the boy beside him on the swing.
Jisung's eyes lit up by that amazing thought then faced at the girl beside him. "Music really does save people huh?"
"Mhm. That's why I actually found it cool when you told me that you wrote lyrics." —— "I hope to see you grow someday. Hey! Don't forget me when you become famous alright? Lemme feature in one of your songs."
The boy nodded chuckling, "tsk. That'd be good actually, I mean-."— "J.one and Sun. K featuring Seunghee Kim."
"Sun.K? Hey, sun, you k?"
"Pffttttt. I don't know either, you ask Sunwoo about that, that was his idea not mine"
"Nah I'm kidding, it's good. That boy has great imaginations, he should make a rapper name for me too."
"I agree. We're gonna work on your rapper name soon don't worry." Jisung laughed before jumping off the swing and started to walk ahead. "Hey, you trust me right?"
Jisung looked at the girl who was following after. "Yeah... why?"
"Nothing. It's just the fact that you seem to always hide your true feelings and self to everyone. I don't want you to hide it around me. I understand why you want to keep it a secret, and I will."
"But do me a favor." He looked at the girl. "Come to me when you feel exhausted." —— "I know you're scared that people will see your wounds but the bandaid will always fall." Jisung shrugged a bit. "I guess what I'm pointing out is that, I'll be the one who'll treat your wound?... does that make any sense?"
"I- Who are you and what did you do to peterhan?"
Jisung chuckled, his gummy smile showing as he shook his head. "Peterhan's currently taking pixie dusts so J.one took over."
Seunghee laughed. "But it did make sense. Thank you. Thank you Jisung." —— "Although, you need to come to me too when you feel exhausted alright? I'll also treat your wounds for you."
"I will. I promise." He chuckled softly and glanced on her shoes. "Your shoe lace are untied, let me tie it."
"I'm not a ba-."
The boy starts to tie the shoelace in full speed as the girl blinked. "How did you even-."
"Tsk." He looked up at her. "You care about a lot of people, but you require care yourself. How can you possibly treat my wound when you can't treat yours?"
Jisung stood up and continued talking.
"What are you gonna do without me?"
"I don't know, honestly." The girl rubbed the back of her neck.
———————————————————————
February 8
Jeongin stretched his arms out as he walked out of the school building and then took a glance at the older brother beside him, smiling a bit. "How were your classes?" he tilted his head as Sunwoo blinked hopelessly. "I think I killed my brain with the studying." he faced the person on his left, "How was yours?"
"Mine were fine. I'm just glad that it's over."
"Same." Sunwoo sighed then smiled. "Hey! It's your birthday today right?"
"Oh- yeah- how did you-."
"Seunghee used to always write you letters a week before 'february eight' because it's your birthday-."
Jeongin smiled widely, scratching the back of his head. "She does, I get those letters a lot."
"Exactly, that's why I was shock that you guys weren't a thing." He shook his head. "You two seem so close but I understand why now."
"Yeah... we are." He looked at the older one, "Where is she, by the way?"
"She left as soon as she finished her classes- I think- I mean I was gonna ask Hyunjin but he wasn't there too. I have a feeling that she's at work again."
"In the café?"
"No she works there at 7pm and all, so I think she's just passing out flyers right now." Jeongin nodded slowly. "She sent me a lot of letters, but never really once mentioned her part time jobs." He mumbled.
"What did you say?"
"Nothing." — "Well I should go home, hyung. My mom will be waiting for me."
"Ah okay. Happy Birthday innie! Let's hang out tomorrow to celebrate— if that's possible?"
"Probably. I'll let you know."
"Okay! Have an amazing day."
"Thank you."
[s/n : trigger warning (may include sensitive contents) ]
Seunghee bowed at the person who walked by, offering the last, very last flyer in her hand with the kindest smile she could ever give. The lady took it, scoffed and crumbled it, throwing it away while the teen's eyes followed the flyer.
She sighed and picked it up after. "But- Lady.. You just threw a portion of a tree you know that?" She mumbled clear enough for the lady to hear. "Shut up kid. I already touched your rusty hands, I don't wanna hear your rusty voice." The lady continued to walk far away as she flipped her hair, leaving the girl in disbelief.
"Oh how I wish I was a metal so I could just rust away." Seunghee closed her eyes shut and murmured to herself, spreading the flyer open, attempting to straighten it a bit. "Hello sir would I interest you with som-." The man looked up at her as his right eyebrow raised.
"Seunghee." He chuckled. "It really was you. You were the girl at the café right?" He clapped his hands and smiled amusingly as he took a closer look at the girl. "I must've been blind. You actually did grew to look like your mom why didn't I notice that back then?" He chortled once more.
Seunghee's eyes widened and quivered as her hands loosened its grip, allowing the flyer to fall out. "I-."
"Didn't I tell you not to show your face again?" He looked down at the flyer which fell onto the floor. "Tsk. You really did live a miserable life."
Her uncle smirked, bending down to get the flyer. "Fine. I'll take this flyer so you can go home." The man took it in his hands and slipped it in his pockets. His other hand reached out to caress her hair, tilting his head. "Does that make you happy?"
Seunghee quickly took a step back, flinching and gulped. "What's wrong? It's not like I'm gonna hurt you." — "I mean. You did hurt me a lot from k!ll!ng my own sister." He began his manipulation. "But don't worry, I'm not hurting you back." His hands began to trail down on her cheeks until someone smacked his hands off her to stop him from going further.
"Who are you to touch her?" A boy scoffed coldly as the man pushed his tongue in his inner cheeks. "You got a problem kid? Mind your own damn business."
"I would if you made your way out of our sight, if not." He glared at him in a solemn manner. "I'll make sure you won't be able to walk away or at all."
The man scanned the boy from his head to his toes. "What would a kid like you do?" He chuckled. "Should we find out?" The boy began to crack his neck, about to throw his fist until a trembling hand held onto his shoulder weakly, causing him to pause his actions. "J-jeongin stop."
"Ahhh I got it now. Yang's son? Wow." The man chuckled at the amazement. "They really kept you? A little murderer like you?" He scoffed at the girl. "You really think a high class family would make you innocent and live freely?" — "how stupid."
"It's- it's not my fault." She stammered loudly in defense, finally seeing through his nonsense manipulation. "It's not my fault." Her eyes began to fill up with overflowing tears, "Why are you acting like it's my fault." — "I can't control the cars! I can't control the speed. It's not my fault. It wasn't my fault."
"Exactly. It's your dad's. Ever since he met my damn sister." —— "But since you're the only one alive, I had to put it out on a little mistake like you." Jeongin was outraged by the unbelievable words he's hearing, causing him to punch the man's face with great strength
"Jeo-."
"You little-." Seunghee immediately halt his actions as she tightly held onto his wrist which was about to be thrown at Jeongin and gave him a cold, death stare. "Touch him and I'll-."
The old man scoffed as he withdrew his hand harshly with a smirk, letting out a faint chuckle. "Seems nice to have a prince charming huh?" He sighed and nodded a bit. "Hm fine. I'll let you go, before this tiny kettle blows up further." He laughed like an insane person then continued with a serious tone and a poker face. "But try not to bump into me. I hate seeing your face."
The man rubbed his bruise, clicking his tongue. "Who am I to mess with children." He scoffed before walking away. The man then, took out the flyer and threw it, spitting on it after in annoyance.
Seunghee finally got oxygen and regained consciousness but her hands trembled like crazy and her legs weakened, causing her to fall on the floor. Her tears came down like a waterfall and her hands made it's way to wrap itself around her ears before she started to shake her head, in hopes to let go of the strange noises.
Jeongin quickly lowered to her level and looked right at her. "I'm sorry Seun-."
"Why were you here?" She shuddered.
"You're- you weren't supposed to be here- why do you have to see me hurt and just hurt yourself?"
Her pink-ish eyes landed onto his and he was taken aback. "It's nothing. It's okay."
"Stop liking me."
"Huh?"
"Jeongin. You like me don't you?" She wiped her tears off her eyes. "For what reason? For pity? To hurt yourself more?"
"I-."
"Why do you have to suck at having taste? Why me?" — "I already ran away from you guys just so you wouldn't suffer because of me anymore but why did you follow me?"
"Stop caring about me and leave me. Stop hurting yourself because of me."
The poor boy was confused, and hurt yet, he shook his head in denial. "I- I don't get hurt when I see you, we don't get hurt or suffer because we love you. Don't you know that? Don't you know why my mom kept you?"
"Your mom always visited me with snacks because I always got sick and she'd always say that her daughter wouldn't come because she was always busy with her drawings and coloring. Your mom saved mine." —— "I felt distant with you at first because I didn't want someone else taking my mom away, but wasn't that what I had been doing with your mom?"
"I didn't like you because I pitied you or because I wanted to hurt myself. I liked you because you were you. I liked you because you were always loving, you were working your hardest. I didn't wanna care about you so much but I always find myself thinking about you."
He finally took a deep breath. "So don't ever feel bad. It was my choice to like you and get hurt." His eyes wandered around the floor for a moment before standing up. "Plus, I already expected this yet I still liked you anyways." ......"I know you only think of me as a brother that's why I try my best not to cross the line."
Jeongin sighed a bit. "I'll- leave you alone if you want."
Seunghee looked up at him, stumped.
"Also, I was here because my mom told me to invite you into our house to eat dinner with us and- Sunwoo- hyung, he told me you'd be done by now. But I'll tell her you're not going, I know you don't feel well."
"I'll- I'll get going then. I'm sorry, 누나 (nuna/ older sister for male)." He closed his fist then released it again, "Also, I'll never stop caring about you because you cared so much about me too." With that said, the boy left her alone.
11:23 pm
Seunghee dragged her feet only to stop by a tree near the river. She hid in the shadows of the giant tree and held onto her almost worn out bag and sat down, facing the river.
Her mind was full of thoughts, she furrowed her eyebrows trying to figure it all out. She thought of all the things she did wrong and could have done right. Her eyes trailed from the river to the moon which's light was shining upon her.
A tear came down involuntarily. 'Should I run away again?' She'd ask the moon, pretending it was her parents. Then, the girl shut her eyes off in frustration and disappointment with nothing but herself.
She hugged her knees, laying her cheeks on her left arm which was just on her kneecaps as her eyes landed over her bag, laying down, all crumpled and somewhat dusty.
The moon was watching this girl think with a heavy heart and bathe her with its moonlight while the little almost faint stars surrounded the moon.
Seunghee slowly used her free hand to open the bag after regaining her sanity and took a wrapped gift out of it. "I need to give this to him." She sighed, checking it out then dropped it gently on the grass again, looking up.
She thought for another moment.
Her mind filled with such questions such as:
"What should I do now?"
"I should apologize to Jeongin right?"
"Should I run away again?"
"Haven't I been running away for too long..?"
The girl stayed there for about twenty minutes, trying to reflect on every single thing and thought of her next move.
Finally after a little thought, she took out a spare notebook and her own pen, writing down for her friend.
"Dear Yang Jeongin,
This is the first time I wrote to you with your full name right? Haha. You know, when I first woke up after those two years, I never said this before but I've always wished that I never even did. Well- knowing how genius you are, you probably knew that already. I was scared of being here but when you lend your little tiny hands to me and I started to actually want to live. One of the reason was because of you. I mean- come on, you're my mint choco buddy. You've helped me whenever I got panic attacks, helped me breathe, supported me with my artworks, and kept my nonsense secrets. Indeed, I can't truly return the feelings to you, but I want to try and return the love, kindness and happiness, which you gave me, back two times the amount! It may not be enough but I'm gonna try my best to do better as an older sister to you. Although you're growing up too fast, geez please slow down; sometimes I don't even know if I'm shrinking or you're just growing— eh you'll always be a baby bread to me. Though I've ran away so many times and hurt you so many times, you still stayed and took care of me when it's supposed to be the other way around. Most of all, I'm sorry for hurting you, you're literally the last person I'd want to hurt, yet I still did. I'm sorry for all the things I've said earlier, I just don't wanna hurt you or anyone anymore so I was terrified. I'm sorry and thank you. Thank you for everything. Clumsy bread's nineteen now, gosh. Time really does fly by doesn't it? I still remember you passing out in my arms just because you took a sip of uncle's alcohol, thinking it was soda ....I think you shouldn't drink even when the time of you becoming an adult comes haha. Thank you for baring with me for the past years. I'm definitely gonna cherish those memories and you forever. Hey. Do what you want to do alright? I always got your back.
Happy Birthday,
누나 (nuna//older sister for male)."
9:32 am | february 9
"P.S. your smile truly heals and I pray that you may be happy with no difficulties anymore."
Jeongin's lips curved up a little, drawing a small smile on his own face as he stared at the letter. Then, after a while, the boy slowly folded the paper before opening the box with a bracelet in it.
This bracelet was simple, just black and mint green twisted around each other. He scanned it thoroughly, and then noticed a smaller note inside the box. In sight of this, Jeongin looked around him and decided to sit down next to his apartment's door, in the hallway.
He set down the box and took the little note, opening it. In there it's written,
"Wear this and make a wish, they said that if it breaks, your wish comes true. ( use it wisely o(｀ω' )o ) ." Jeongin chuckled to himself as he read and saw the small "strict" doodle at the end.
Jeongin was a chill person. He was hurt indeed— he was close to crying if he was honest but he understood what she meant and he knew that she didn't mean it. Although his birthday kinda ended sadly, he forgave her right away.
And this gift- although it is small and simple, it was enough. It was just enough to make him happy. Certainly, it may seem small, but to him, it was big and meaningful. It actually was a great way to start his first day being nineteen years old on this chaotic world.
After a while, the door swung open as his mother took a step outside and started to check both sides. "Jeongin?-. Where did that boy go somewhere at this hour when it's breakfa-. AH WHAT IN THE-." Ms. Yang flinched after startling herself with her own son who was just sitting down on the floor, staring at a paper.
Jeongin quickly stood up, putting everything back in the box. "M-mom."
"Why-." She tried to catch her breath as she held onto her chest firmly. "Why are you sitting there, there's a couch inside."
The younger boy quickly bowed and giggled a bit. Then out of a sudden he pulled her into a hug. "What-."
"I love you. Thank you for everything mom."
"Tha-? Thank.. ? What- what has gotten into you? You hate skinshi-." The boy pulled away, still smiling as he looked right into her eyes. "I'll just go a visit Seunghee upstairs." The boy bowed and ran away, leaving his own mother clueless.
"Did I put something I wasn't supposed to put in the cake yesterday?" —— "I love you mom? Pfft. He never liked saying that." The lady shivered as she headed back inside the house, her expression changed to a 'horror' one. "He's weird today." She mumbled to herself, but really, just deep deep inside her she was warm and happy.
5:32 am (February 9)
@kseungh_
Hey giant do you still remember your promi|
Hey giant do you still|
Hey|
He|
👍🏻A groupchat:]
5:03 pm
@sunwhoo
Yo hwang have you seen Seunghee?
Please tell me she's with you
And she's just playing a prank
@kkamihhj_
No..?
Doesn't she have work?
@injeongxD
She doesn't, it's Saturday.
And she hasn't been home.
I've been spamming her phone
I came by her apartment earlier but no one was answering too.
@sunwhoo
Same
@kseungh_ stop hiding please
please tell us you're okay
This isn't like you ?
@injeongxD
She wouldn't run away, I know she won't
Hyung check her apartment
You know her password right?
You gotta.
if she gets mad just tell her it was my idea-
I mean she'll check this chat anyways
In another situation- maybe her phone just died
But where could she be at this hour?
seen
@sunwhoo is typing...
@kkamihhj_ is typing...
Has she been gone since morning?|
Has she be|
@injeongxD
I gotta go, my dad's looking for a house here.
@sunwhoo
Ah okay
Take care innie.
Hey let me know when you hear something from her.
You too hwang.
Let's hope she's okay
Hyunjin quickly rose up from the couch, opening another chat in slight anxiety.
@kseungh_
@kkamihhj_
Hey
Seunghee
You alright?
@kkamihhj_
You're okay right?
@injeongxD wants to send a message
@injeongxD
I think she's in busan right now.
accept | decline
@kkamihhj_ accepted your message.
@kkamihhj_
What do you mean?
@injeongxD
I know, she can't ride vehicles
But she forces herself when she needs to go somehwere
She's probably with her parents.
@kkamihhj_
Isn't her parents in scotland?
@injeongxD
No.
She didn't tell you yet?
@kkamihhj_ is typing...
tell me wha|
Can you please just do me a favor?
Wait by the train station- the express.
If she doesn't come back until 12 am, go home.
I'm only asking you this because I'm busy and I can't worry my parents about her or she'll feel worse.
You're also probably who she needs right now.
@kkamihhj_
What if I don't see her at all?
@injeongxD
You'll see her.
If not, just come back home.
She'll come.
I know she will.
seen
@kseungh_
@kkamihhj_
Hey please tell me you're alright.
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