,,Within my blurred vision I can only see you clearly"
7:37 pm
Sunwoo dropped his head down on his book, letting his pen go with a deep sigh of frustration. He looked up at Seunghee and the two others with a pout. "How can you guys even study for hours? I can barely focus within thirty minutes."
Hyunjin stopped scribbling over his sticky note which was stuck on his book and cleared his throat. "I don't- actually-."
"Ah- yes, that's my bro."
Sunwoo sighed in relief when he saw the drawing, clenching his fist for a fist bump. Hyunjin timidly lifted his own fist and crashed it gently with his as the boy smiled before looking at the other two. "How do you guys do it? Really."
The two heads awkwardly lifted their head up from their textbook in sync. "Uh-. I don't know-. I don't notice the time passing by." She chuckled and shrugged. "I agree." Jeongin replied.
"But ahh you're right sunshine." Seunghee shut her book close. "I think we should take a break and continue another time, we've been here for almost three hours." She looked up at them while Sunwoo smiled in happiness.
"You guys want to go for an escape room?" He looked around the group.
"Escape room? I've never been there before." The youngest scratched his head a bit. "Ah bro, you got a lot of things to learn." — "but no worries, you got Sunwoo." He made finger guns at him.
"I'd love to, but I don't feel quite well enough to go for an escape room. You guys can go though."
"Whaaaaaattt?? Whyyyy?"
"No reason. I just don't feel like it." She chuckled and patted his head. "I'll just head home. You guys go. I'll come with you next time."
"Wait should I w-." Hyunjin cut off Jeongin's sentence short. "I'll walk you home." He looked at the girl with a sraight face. "You don't want to come with them?"
"No I uh- feel tired. I also have to be home early."
Seunghee nodded slowly and then looked over at the two boys. "Have fun at the escape room, don't lock yourselves in that for too long." She chuckled as she placed the materials in her backpack and stood up after.
"Oh we won't."
".....I think."
Sunwoo rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged, "Hopefully not." Seunghee chuckled while sliding the backpack's strap around her shoulder.
"Hey Kim Sunwoo accompany clumsy bread well alright?" The boy nodded, "No worries." Jeongin smiled a bit, fidgeting on the corner of the pages with no words. "Alright we'll go now."
"Okay! Rest well Seungseung. We'll keep you updated on the groupchat."
Sunwoo waved at the two figures who were making their way out of the door and then looked at the boy beside him. "You ready to go?"
"Yep. I guess."
Hyunjin slipped his hands into his pockets as usual and he never let any word come out of his mouth—as usual.
The only one who'd always say one word or more, was the girl beside him. It was always her who started the conversation or encouraged him to talk.
It was always like that.
However, this time; he started the conversation when they silently walked a few blocks away from where they left.
"You okay?"
"Hm?" She responded, looking up.
"I mean- you look so worried."
She chuckled looking ahead of her, "You're quite an observer." Seunghee took a deep breath before nodding slowly. "I'm quite worried, yeah." — "but it doesn't matter, so don't worry about it."
Hyunjin bit his inner cheeks. "It does matter though." He looked down at her. "If you said my feelings mattered then yours too, doesn't it?" — "I'm worried about you." He continued cooly.
"Tsk. You sound just like Ji-." She looked up at him, making eye contact and decided not to mention the name. "Well.." she looked away again. "It's honestly just the rent fee, school fee and stuff."
"Don't you have your parents to pay for that?"
"No..." — "....my parents..."
Seunghee scratched her head in hesitation and shook her head after she made up her mind. "I'm sorry." She heaved out the sigh of somewhat regret.
"What for?"
"You know- I mean- you have a right in knowing whatever answers you want to know about me because you told me all of the things about you already. I know it isn't fair that I keep things from you and that's probably why you were mad at me the other day but I didn't really inten-."
Hyunjin stopped walking, making the girl halt as well. "Hey."
"Yeah...?"
"Calm down. I wasn't mad at you for that." He shook his head to assure her. "I just, felt frustrated. I guess." He let out a sigh while his eyes wandered around his surrounding. "Because I couldn't take away your pain, I was frustrated."
"Actu-."
"But." He continued, "because you said that you'd tell me when you're ready. So.. don't worry I'll wait." —— "I'll wait." He repeated once more with a nod of dedication. "Take your time because I'll wait for you." He gulped quietly, not expecting that to leave his lips.
Seunghee felt her heart drop out of a sudden. She could see the clear sincerity in his eyes, as if he really was willing to wait and he was serious this time.
Dead serious.
Seunghee could possibly draw out the feeling she had whenever he spoke, that sudden comfort that always made its way to open up the door in her heart. For some reason it seemed like one of the only things that kept her sane.
School of 2016
Hyunjin kept his hands in his pocket while listening to the music which was playing in his earphones, just the same old habits of his. He followed behind a girl who seemed to go to the same school as him, just making his way to school through the streets.
Suddenly, the girl in front of him stopped. "WhAAAATT??" The girl started to talk to herself in shock, making the boy confounded. "No- I mean? WHY WOULD HE DIE?? He can't possibly just die like that! He's the main character!"
The student continued to express her raging and rising pain.
Hyunjin on the other hand, looked over at her shoulder to try and figure out what she was doing. To his relief, she was just reading some fictional book about detectives.
The student didn't move one inch as her eyes scanned each and every word, getting more immersed into the book as she tried to find out what happened next.
When the boy was about to touch the frozen figure's shoulder to, perhaps, ask her about what book she was reading in curiosity; a motorcycle drove by with a speedy pace.
With a quick and lucky reflex, Hyunjin quickly grabbed the girl out of the way and pushed her aside with himself. "Do you kids have a death wish?" The man on the motorcycle yelled from afar. "Stay on the side! Gosh it's so early in the morning."
The student looked up at the boy, trying to regain air from that shock and goosebump that slithered right through her skin. Her life flashed right before her eyes, literally.
Hyunjin quickly removed his hands from her shoulders as a manner from a gentleman, dusting his uniform off while the girl just widened her eyes on the floor. "Aahhh nono! Not the book!!" She quickly ran towards the book which fell on the road and was ran over. "Seunghee you're so dead." She shut her eyes close in frustration.
"Seriously? The book first? You actually could've died you know?" Hyunjin raised his left eyebrow towards the girl who was sitting down while holding onto her book as if it was a baby. Seunghee looked up and cleared her throat before getting up. "S-sorry." — "and thank you." She scratched her head awkwardly.
Hyunjin didn't say any word and nodded instead, his eyebrows furrowed in disbelief of some people who would think about materials first before themselves.
The girl scanned the logo which was patched onto the boy's uniform, thinking about where she saw it from. Finally, she gasped in realization, "Oh thats the logo of Seoul Arts! You go to Seoul Arts? I'm a new stud-." He sighed not wanting to interact no more and turned around, ignoring the girl.
"Huh? that keychain." She mumbled to herself as the boy was getting further away. "Wait- wait can I come with you? Please let me come with you, I don't know this place that well yet. Hey please wait up!" The sixteen year old quickly held onto her book as she ran after the tall boy to catch up.
☾
"Seunghee?"
"Huh?"
"You okay?"
"Huh? Oh- yeah."
Hyunjin nodded a bit, paused, then nodded his head towards the direction they're currently heading to. "Should we..?"
"Yeah. Yeah."
"Okay."
The two students started walking and Hyunjin advanced in front of her while the girl broke into thoughts of million things. 'What's this awkward tension?'
'Did I- space out too much?'
'Did I stare at him for too long?- was I even staring?'
'Why is he suddenly...?'
'Is it because I didn't reply?'
'Did I even reply?'
'I should- say something- yes okay.'
Seunghee cleared her throat as she managed to finally match his pace. "Giant-." She shook her head. "I mean- Hyunjin." He hummed.
"I wanted to thank you."
"For what?"
"For saying that you'd wait." —— "but, I hope that you don't think so much about me. You have so much on your plate already. I don't want to make you full and explode."
"That's why I said I'd wait until you're ready." Hyunjin glanced at her. "Because when you're ready, then I'm ready to fill the space in my plate for another serve."
"...if that even makes any sense."
"I- but still- ack just, just think about yourself for now at least hm? You always thought of Minho and his happiness that you forgot about yourself." —— "you wanted to become a dancer, why not start with that?"
Hyunjin took another glance from the girl with a small fainted chuckle. "Are you really still trying to help me move on?" He mumbled clearly.
"Isn't that why we're-."
"Right." He sighed and nodded. "Okay. I'll try dancing again. I'll try to focus on myself."
"Promise?"
Seunghee held up her pinky at the tall boy. "If I do look after myself, will you do something for me?"
"Uh... depends... if it's taking care of kkami, I'd gladly do. But if it's something like I don't know actually-."
He chuckled and shook his head. "I'm just joking, never mind it, don't worry." — "I promise." He intertwined his pinky finger with hers as their fists touches each other gently.
"Oh right! Don't let go, look at this." — "If you're willing to truly keep the promise, you can turn it upside down like this..." she slowly turned their hands upside down, making the 'pinky promise' turn into a heart. "It looks like an heart! So it means that you swore to the promise with your whole heart."
Hyunjin who was listening carefully at what she had to say, smiled in enthusiasm. "But- 야- (yah/hey) I didn't even say that I swore it with my whole heart." They slowly let go of each other's hands. "Well, that's too bad, I actually gotchu there." She chuckled. "That means you really gotta take good care of yourself now, with your whole heart."
"Tsk. You sneaky person."
2017 | the taping.
Even a fool knows : that even if it hurt to touch you—even once, I'd endure the pain just so I could hold you closely.
_Even if it hurts it's okay_ [Chapter 7]
"Don't go." Minho pleaded at the girl who wanted to leave him behind, for it suddenly felt useless, knowing that she was just gonna feel further pain. The girl felt scared because of the thought that she'd just lose him then herself.
"Please turn around and look at me."Minho reached out his hand to grab the girl's wrist. He was supposed to take hold of her hands but Hyunjin moved forward, taking his hands away involuntarily.
"Cut!" Felix quickly yelled. "What are you doing?"
Hyunjin stayed silent as he looked up at his best friend who looked at him with eyes of confusion. He slowly withdraw his hand to himself and cleared his throat. "What's up little bro?" Yejin broke the silence.
"Nothing-. I-. Sorry." He bowed a bit in apology finally getting to his senses.
Seunghee furrowed her eyes at the three and sighed, looking towards Felix. "Let's take five." Jisung finally placed down the heavy lighting and approached his friend right after.
Minho sighed after calming his own mind and looked at the younger one. "You okay Hyunjin?"
Hyunjin nodded. "Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. I just-."
"It's okay. Take a break. You're thinking too much lately. I'll be back, I'll just go to the washroom." He patted his back as Hyunjin nodded.
Yejin bit her inner cheeks while Minho left.
"You alright Hyun?"
"Yeah. Sorry I'm just out of my mind. Excuse me for a second." He bowed a bit and turned around, closing his camera.
Hyunjin approached a table nearby and placed his camera on it before making his way inside the school to apologize to his friend for his uncertain action.
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A/N: man I was planning to update last week but then I got too busy haha, I hope I could repay you guys back with this long chapter:)