Don't ever believe in what handsome boys with perfect side profiles, pointed noses, and eyes that could hold the universe say.
Rona stopped counting the days since the last time she saw Minho which didn't end very well. The boy was in great pain and she couldn't even move to help him. He kept screaming for some time and then stormed out, leaving her frozen.
For days she waited for him on the rooftop and at the bus stop but with no sign of him. She thought of going to the hospital to ask for him but she brushed off the thought. She hates hospitals. They are full of ghosts. She didn't even know where exactly his house was. How could she never ask him for his phone number? Maybe because he never gave her the time to miss him.
What if he was really sick? What if he was going through another surgery? What if he just couldn't make it this time?
Rona sat at the bus stop, waiting for the bus that looked like it would never come. The bus stop was empty as usual but recently it felt emptier. She plugged her earphones and waited till the bus arrived to take her to the empty house.
***
"Ugh." Rona yelled at the top of her lungs as she dropped herself flat to the cushions placed on the floor of her rooftop. "Stupid, Lee Minho! Come back and see if I give a shit about your handsome face! Or better if you never come back. I'm finally enjoying my loneliness again without your stupid ass nagging and teasing around me." She paused for a few seconds before she resumes yelling at nothing. "Great! Silence. That's it. Again."
Rona covered her face with her arm and started tearing up.
Again, she was alone.
Again, unnoticed.
Again, unwanted.
She hated the sound of silence. She never enjoyed it, that's why she's always listening to her favorite song on full volume. That made her feel less lonely and more alive. Rona pulled her phone out of her pocket, plugged the earphone, and set the volume to full.
"I told you that you'll damage eardrums and you'll be hearing beeps again!"
Even if the song was at full volume, she could clearly hear his voice which seemed like a hallucination to her. It wasn't the first time that she hears his voice or feels his presence when he was not around.
"Wow, I'm being ignored now."
Rona moved her arm and opened her eyes slowly. The sun was attacking her face so, Rona lifted a hand to block the sun. Through her fingers, she could see the boy standing in front of her. Hands tucked in back pockets, wide smile, sparkling eyes. It has to be a long journey from heaven to Earth. That's why it took him a lot of time to show up again.
Rona opened her eyes widely, ignoring the sun that was burning them, and jumped to her feet. "You are really here?"
"Yeah, unfortunately, it's not my ghost yet." He joked.
Rona ran to where he was standing and without thinking twice, she wrapped her hands around Minho's neck, pulling him down to her height so his face would be at her level. "GOD!" She gasped. "I thought something bad happened to you. You scared the shit out of me that day then you disappeared! I didn't know where to look for you or how to call and I –I –" She panicked.
"It's okay," He cut her words calmly. "I'm here. And I'm okay now." Rona let go of his neck and placed her hands on his chest, then his cheeks, then to his shoulders, and turned him around, then again to his cheeks. She was checking him. "I'm okay, Rona. Nothing is wrong with me don't worry."
Rona looked at him in the eyes for seconds then her eyes moved to her hands that were still holding his cheeks. She pulled her hands quickly and was about to step back when Minho pulled her into his embrace. He rested her head on his chest and placed a hand on top of it.
"Stay still for a little please." He whispered. "I missed you." His voice came soothing and calming to the panicked girl. Rona was thankful that her head was buried in him because she was sure that she blushed. "Didn't you miss me?" He asked.
"No, not at all."
"That's a lie. How could you not miss me?"
"Okay. Just a little, not much."
Minho giggled lightly then they both went silent for some time. Minho's heartbeat was rapid that even Rona who is not a doctor could tell that something was wrong with the boy's heart.
"Your heart is beating really fast, Minho." She mumbled.
"You can hear it?"
"Sure, it's loud and fast. Are you sure you are okay?"
"I was. Now I'm not!"
Rona pulled back and looked at him in confusion mixed with worry. "Why? Are you getting that pain again? Will you go through another crisis? Let's go to the hosp-" She panicked again.
"It's not that bad. I guess I'm just nervous." He said, looking down at her.
"And why is that?"
"Cause you are that close. You are not helping my heart, Rona."
Rona pushed him gently and managed not to smile although she was sure that her lips twitched and he saw that. "Then, stay away. I don't want to see you collapse again."
***
After some teasing and bickering, the two kids laid down on the ground, looking at the sky as the sun was going down slowly. They stayed silent for a long time. That silence was different. It was the kind of silence that Rona would enjoy, not hate.
"What did you do when I wasn't around?" Minho asked.
"Nothing. Classes and studying. What about you? Where you at the hospital the whole time?"
"Hmm." He hummed as an answer.
"What did the doctors say?"
"Nothing new."
"Which is?"
"I'm a hopeless case." The boy sighed. "My heart is damaged badly and I need heart transplantation which is not available now. And even if, it's too late for me already."
"What kind of shit is that?" She sat upright and looked at the boy who was lying down calmly beside her. She was panicking again. "Are you sure they are doctors? How could you be a hopeless case when you are alive and breathing? How could they say something like that? How?"
"Hey, hey. Calm down." Minho said as he sat upright, looking at the girl who got nervous and her eyes started forming tears. Rona shoved her head in the opposite direction, trying her best to avoid looking in his face. She felt great pain in her chest whenever she talked to him about his health state. How can he be calm like that? "It's okay. It's going to be okay." He said, placing a hand on the small of her back to assure her.
"It's not, Lee Minho. It's not. You are dying."
"We all are going to die at some point."
"Not that soon! You are still young." She yelled.
"People die at even younger ages, Rona."
"How is this universe being managed? How could people just leave like that?"
"I told you this world is fucked up already."
Rona shoved her head back to him and she was already flooding with tears. Minho quickly wiped her tears with his warm fingers. He moved closer. He pulled her to be facing him and rested his forehead on hers while caressing her damp cheeks.
Screw his stupid heart that was beating crazily!
"Don't cry, please. I told you that my heart is weak for this." He pleaded. Rona started to calm herself down just for him but deep inside her, she was ready to make another Han River. "Don't worry. I promise you that when I die I would come back as a ghost and haunt your house." Minho chuckled.
Rona frowned at the joke. How could he joke in such a situation?
She wanted to hold on to him, she wanted to comfort him. She wanted to tell him that he was going to be okay. But she couldn't because simply, she knew that those were all lies and that death was the only truth in this fucked up world.