SORRY THIS IS SO LATE!! As I said my exams are at their peak but give me 4 weeks and I will be back to updated every 1-2 days :)
Ily all <3
I woke up the next day and I was excited to see Zayn. I called him when me and Harry got back to the hotel, and he said to get him on the next flight out and he'd be here to do anything he can to help. He's amazing like that.
His flight was landing at 11am, so me and Harry got up and are driving to the airport to pick him up instead of sending him a car.
The airport was only a short drive from our hotel, so it was currently around 10:30, and Harry was driving us both with Stevie Nicks playing at a low volume.
'Edge of Seventeen' was humming in the background as the engine was running, and Harry was tapping his fingers on the wheel to the beat that was faint in the car.
It was a tech day today, and we were walking straight into tech run as soon as we got back to the hotel from picking Zayn up. As Harry was for the most part in control of all the lighting and sound, he would explain how things need to be set for the show, and it will take a bit longer than usual for them both to figure things out.
I know that Jack was pretty chilled with letting Harry take control, but I don't know how that's going to pan out with Zayn. Zayn is very good at what he does, and I don't think he will react well if Harry tries to tell him how to do things. Jack was obviously very in awe of Harry as he was someone high up and in charge of the tour, and a lot more advanced than him, so he just let Harry do what he needed. I know for a fact Zayn won't do that.
I was worried about Jack to be honest. Although I didn't know him very well I'm still concerned for him. Sure, he's a grown adult and he could just walk off on his own, but it's weird that he didn't tell anyone, he's here on a job and you can't just leave that behind without informing anyone.
His family hadn't heard from him in a few days either, and as he was only 19, they were in contact with Niall as soon as they felt something wasn't right. It was weird for him to just disappear and no one even notice anything wrong. He might not even be in Dubai anymore, he could be anywhere by now, but Niall had said not to worry. It would be easy to track his passport if he'd left the country. No one thinks anything bad has happened to him, but I'm anxious about it.
And sat in the car with Harry, I feel like he is too.
"What if Jack disappearing has something to do with..." He starts.
"Don't say it, please. I can't think about that." I interrupt him.
Truthfully, I have thought about it, and Harry knows that, but I can't say it out loud.
There is a tension in the air, making silence flood the car, something we're usually comfortable with, but it doesn't feel like it usually does this time.
Before long Harry breaks it, and it's like he needs to talk about this, I can feel his tension bubbling between us.
"Bry, I can't just pretend this might not mean anything, what we saw, it could be..."
"Please don't, okay?" I breathe, looking down at my hands on my lap, picking at my fingers.
"We're going to get interviewed by the police Bry, to see if we've seen anything suspicious on the tour so far, to see if we know where this poor teenage boy has gone, and you want me to lie to them?" He says, he isn't getting angry with me, he just has an urgency behind his tone that tells me he needs me to talk to him, to tell him what he's supposed to do, I knew he wouldn't put me at risk.
"We were at the club, and that's it, if anyone asks where we went when we weren't on visible cameras just say we hooked up in the toilets." I say blankly, it isn't a complete lie, and if we'd walked through a different doorway that would've happened.
"So that's what you're going to say?" He asks me, his eyes flicking from the road to me whenever he can.
I nod.
"And Louis?" He asks.
"We get break-up articles posted about us all the time, doesn't mean they're true, Martin will just fly him out to wherever we are when they surface and we will just go and do an appearance, make out a bit, no harm done."
"You kiss him?"
That isn't what I was expecting him to reply with out of everything I just said, but I take it.
"Yeah? That's part of our job, it has to be believable."
He huffs to himself, "I fucking hate Martin." He mutters.
~~~~~
We're both stood in arrivals waiting for Zayn to walk through the doors, and we're stood fairly close to each other. We aren't touching, but our shoulders are grazing to the point it's obvious to everybody that we're here together.
Harry's scrolling through something on his phone in a strop because I told him we didn't have time to stop and have a cigarette. I wanted to be here as Zayn walks through the doors.
Turns out he did have time for a cigarette, as Zayn's flight was 20 minutes late landing, so now Harry's in an even bigger strop.
Zayn always fits his luggage into a carry on, so he never has to wait at baggage claim for hours. So, he should be coming through any second now.
I see him bright yellow puffer coat first, followed by his even brighter grin.
I forget about Harry and just run over to him, jumping up into his arms as he drops his suitcase hand to catch me.
His arms wrap tightly around my waist and mine wrap around his neck holding him into me. He lifts me up from the floor squeezes me in to him before placing me on the floor.
As I start to pull away from the hug, he leaves a quick peck on my cheek, making me smile.
"Fucking missed you B, been so quiet without you." He grins, not noticing Harry who is still a few feet behind us, watching us closely.
"I'm so glad you're here, thank you." I say kindly. He truly will never know how much he means to me, and how amazing he is for always doing anything I need.
It's then that he notices Harry's presence, who as I turn to look over at him, I've realised he's moved closer than he was before.
"Nice to see you again mate." Zayn says with a friendly smile on his face. Zayn has always been good with new people.
"Yeah, you too." I say apprehensively, what has gotten into him?
I give him a confused look before turning back to Zayn.
"So I'm guessing you two haven't fucked yet?" He boldly asks smiling, and I slap him in response as he has just said that very loudly in the middle of an airport.
"No, we haven't." Harry smirks.
"Zayn literally shut the fuck up." I say bluntly, he was supposed to keep that a secret.
"Fucking hell B, you might need to with all that tension." He rubs his arm to soothe where I slapped him.
"Or... I could just get my dildo out and make myself come harder than either of you two could make me?" I tease, and immediately, the smirks are wiped off their faces.
I giggle to myself, and turn to see Harry looking very stern at what I've just said.
"What?" I ask giddily, knowing I love to wind him up like this, especially when it's about sex.
I go to walk towards the door and stop when I get to Harry.
"You going to prove it?" I whisper loud enough so he can hear me.
He clears his throat and walks past me quickly, probably going outside so he can have a cigarette.
"Believe me," Zayn says as he catches up to me, "it's in everyone's best interest that you two fuck as soon as possible, there's so much unsolved sexual tension it's making me horny."
"He fingered me two days ago." I tell him.
"Yeah well you need another round, Jesus." He sighs as he pulls out his own packet of cigarettes as we see Harry, and walking over to him.
As Harry sees us walking over, I hear Zayn's lighter flick to tell me he's lighting his cigarette, and as we reach where Harry is leaning his back onto the wall, he hands me one of his cigarettes and his orange lighter.
"You're smoking again?" Zayn asks me, a look of shock on his face.
"I need it." I brush off while lighting the end of the cigarette, the flicker of colour from the lighter catching my eye. It's a shade of orange very similar to my own hair colour.
We made sure we were smoking in the designated area outside, not wanting to disrespect anyone around us.
After we all finish, we walk towards the car, Harry has a very plain look on his face, not giving anything away.
The car journey back to the hotel is quick, no one really saying anything until we pull up into the carpark.
"This is where the event is?" Zayn asks, completely used to expensive hotels like this from all the touring he does with Louis and other artists.
"Yeah, hotel and show are all in the same building this time." I tell him, Harry still silent, with the same blank expression on his face.
We all get out and let Zayn check into the new room Niall booked for him, and we get a hotel worker to take Zayn's luggage up to his room, while we lead him to the events room.
"Speak to you later B." He says, leaning in to pull me into him, wrapping his arm around me and kissing my hair.
As he turns to walk away I notice Harry glaring at me, his jaw clenched, but as he notices me looking at him back, he quickly turns and follows Zayn over to the tech board, a clear anger and tension in his body.
What the fuck is his problem?
I'm just wearing some black sweats and a light long sleeved top, to be comfortable for the tech run but also respectful of the rules outside in Dubai.
As I'm up on the catwalk I look over to smile at Zayn who is concentrated as he sets all the lights and cues them like he knows how to do. He is working from a picture Harry took from the London show, trying to match everything the best he can to the new environment.
No offence to Jack, but Zayn will do a much better job, to be honest I don't know why I didn't suggest him earlier.
I don't know Zayn's schedule, and what's going to happen after Dubai, whether he will follow us to everywhere else we're going to or they will have found someone else by then.
I don't know if I want him to do that. Because on one hand, having him with me to help me would be so fucking amazing, and I never want to be without him, his advice, his aura, everything he does puts me at ease, but then, if I get comfortable having him here, I'll miss Meredith and Lou so much more, and then it will be harder to get through this tour.
I know I am a very independent person, but a lot of that is reliant on having support around me to fall back on no matter what, and although I'm ridiculously closed off and hate talking about my feelings, my friends know that I need them and appreciate them, and that by just being my friend is enough for me to survive, it gives me something to focus on.
So, although Zayn being here for the next three days is amazing, I'm not sure if I want it to be permanent.
Part of me also thinks that subconsciously I like spending so much alone time with Harry, who is still in a fucking mood by the way.
I can see his clenched jaw and serious facial expression stood behind Zayn, and I'm not sure if it's the lack of control or how good Zayn is, is what's making him so angry. He's so fucking irritating when he's angry.
His mood changes so often, and I feel like he's a completely different person when we're alone, and it pisses me off.
When I'm done on the catwalk, I just down and go over to Zayn on the tech board, Harry has now stormed off somewhere else in the room, probably to go make someone else moody, seen as it's pretty impossible to make Zayn grumpy.
As I get over to Zayn, I see he has a cute pout on his face as he's concentrating, his head moving from staring at the controls on the board and the lights on the stage.
"Where'd dickhead go?" I ask him sweetly, trying not to sound annoying to interrupt him while he's concentrating.
He clicks and moves a few more buttons round before looking up at me.
"Dickhead? You mean Harry?" He smirks.
I look at him blankly trying to play off what I just said.
"Didn't know fuck buddies gave each other nicknames but okay." He says, sarcastically playing it down.
"He's a dickhead, gets on my nerves." I say under my breath.
"You can say that again." He sighs, turning back to the control board and scratching his head.
"What makes you say that?" I question him curiously, I'm allowed to call a dickhead, but it didn't feel nice thinking that's the way Zayn sees him.
"Just trying to get up in my grill constantly, telling me how to do the lights. I'd be lying if I said it didn't piss me off, because it's my job, you know?" He says calmly. It's not often Zayn gets worked up, and he isn't that worked up now, but it's still weird for him to have a bad opinion of someone so quickly.
"He just likes everything to be in order, makes him calmer when he can ensure that as much as possible." I defend him before I can even think about it.
"I know, and I get it's his line, but he needs to trust his team you know." He says softly, still adjusting some controls and cues.
"He doesn't know you Z, if you end up staying he will eventually, he just likes to be in control." I say, smiling at him, knowing he means none of this maliciously, he's just talking to me as he would about anyone, he doesn't have an ounce of harm in his body.
"Didn't have you down as such a sub B." He smirks, knowing exactly what he means.
I slap his arm for the second time today, to which he cackles as he stumbles on his feet, falling back slightly, causing a grin to breakout on my own face.
"Fuck you!" I giggle.
"No need to get stroppy because I'm right, I'm very observant." He says, turning his head to wiggle his eyebrows at me as he steps closer to the control board again.
"I'm a switch." I mutter, before turning and walking towards the dressing rooms.
I need to get my costumes in order, make sure the new pieces fit, and just check through everything. Rosie will end up re-doing it for me when I leave later, but at least I won't feel as guilty if I try the new pieces on first, and then if anything needs adjusting I can ask Harry or one of the other fitters.
As I open the door to my dressing room I'm met with the muscular back of a face I didn't think I'd see again today.
When he hears the door open he flips around quickly, and I'm met with the same stern and grumpy face as before, his eyebrows low and his jaw still clenching, I'm surprised he doesn't have fucking toothache from the tension he holds in his jaw. His forearm is up against his ribs and his other elbow resting on it as his fingers play with his lips.
I never noticed that he does that until now, it's either when he's concentrating, or he's stressed and tense about something. In this case I'm getting stressed and frustrated vibes from him.
He sees me and he freezes and stops pacing. He steps back on himself and sits himself down on the sofa in the middle of the room.
I smirk at him, he doesn't know why he's here, and I don't either, and that makes me smirk at him.
"Can I help you?" I tease him, leaning into one of my hips as I take in his state.
His forearm is now resting on his legs and he's leaning over, still playing with him hips.
"Hmm?" I urge him to answer, but his sights are still frozen on me.
"Have you ever fucked Zayn?" He asks me out of nowhere, his facial expressions completely serious.
I laugh at him, letting my head slightly tip back.
"So, what if I have?" I say to him.
"Please answer me." He says, still sitting on the sofa but his eyeline is totally fixated on me.
"Why do you care?" I say to him, my eyes thinning as I stand looking at him, wondering why he is so worked up at the thought.
He stands up and paces a few times before making what can only be described as a grunt, but in a way that is trying to relieve his frustration.
"Harry?"
He hears my voice and stops pacing again, but this time walking right up to in front of where I'm stood and stops to look directly into my eyes, making the hairs on my arms stand up, and my stomach flip at his close proximity to me, something I've missed although it's not even been that long.
I can't deny him.
"Because the thought of it makes me feel sick, the thought of you with anyone else, that isn't me." He spits at me, his pronunciation snatching and his tone bitter, which completely contradicts the meaning of what he just said.
"So you do care?" I smirk, amused by how much frustration this is causing him.
"...No." He murmurs sheepishly.
"Yes you do." I laugh.
He stands completely still, looking into my eyes but now and then fluttering his eyes down to stare at my lips, before licking his own.
My hands find themselves on his cheeks before I can even stop them, the tips of my fingers delicately brushing on his tousled curls that are falling down next to his ears.
"It's okay to care." I whisper.
His closes his eyes as I speak, and I giggle to myself.
"You don't need to hide from me, it's okay."
"Is this jealousy, is this how it feels? Because I fucking hate it." He asks softly, and I can feel the tensions starting to loosen in his body gradually, hopefully my firm touch on his face calming him down.
"Yeah dickhead, that's what it is." I chuckle to myself.
It becomes clear to me that he really doesn't know how to articulate his feelings, or how to even understand them himself, and that's okay, I can't be mad at him for that.
He pulls back from my touch and I let my hands drop to my side, and we stare at each other for a few more seconds before I decide to break it myself.
"So, that's all you came in here for, to see if I'd fucked Zayn?" I ask him.
"Mmhmm."
"You're sure?"
He nods.
"No, we haven't, he's my friend."
He looks back up at me as I say that, clearly surprised.
"But you know he's in love with you right?" Harry says quickly.
I cackle, "What? You don't even know Zayn, how would you know that we're just friends, we always have been."
There is no way Zayn feels this way and has never told me, we've been friends for years. Lou would know too, and he would've told me, I won't believe that in the slightest.
"I know I can't understand my own feelings Flower," He starts, stepping up closer to me now so our chests are almost touching, "but the way he looks at you, that isn't just friendship, not to him." He says.
"Nope, I don't believe you." I chuckle nervously.
"You don't need to believe me, it's just what I've seen, and now you'll be more aware of it." He tells me.
"Tell me why you care about it though, why does it matter if I have? I need to know." I say to him, my patience starting to wear thin.
"I...don't know." He stutters, "All I know, that whatever this is between us, I like it, and I just need to know if you're fucking other people, because then I know where we stand, and I can figure things out."
"What like you fucked Lucie in a fucking club bathroom?"
"That's different, that was different." He mumbles.
"How is it any different?"
He takes a moment to reply, and I can't tell whether he can't figure out how to say what he wants to say, or if he's just scared to tell me what he needs to.
"Because I didn't care then, but now I do."
"You know I fucked Lucie too, right?"
"I know, please don't give me a stiffy right now Flower." He chuckles and I laugh back to him in response.
"That turns you on?" I ask, laughter hinted in my tone.
"I'm not completely tuned out Bry, watching you with a girl, is what dreams are made of Flower."
"But with a boy it's different, a boy that's in love with you." He says with immediate clarity.
"He's not in love with me!" I defend.
"Mmhmm." He nods in sarcasm.
It's then that I notice that our bodies are still close, and the stance of our bodies should feel awkward, but it doesn't. Harry is picking at his lip again, and I'm itching at my fingers, bad habits we both really need to get rid of.
It's in this silence I notice what he's wearing, a plain white t-shirt and a pair of classic black skinny jeans today. His sunglasses are hanging on the v-neckline of his top and he's wearing a pair of black biker boots, something different from his usual tan Chelsea boots. His hair is perfectly messy, the curls prominent and random as they always are.
There's a knock at the door that pulls our eye contact away from each other, and I shout to whoever is out there that they come in, and it's Rosie. It's weird that she knocked, she never usually does.
"Police want to interview you both about Jack, B, you're wanted first." She smiles, before turning to leave as quickly as she came in.
I sigh to myself, I didn't want this, I hate lying, and if they ask me if I've seen anything suspicious, I'm going to be uncomfortable.
"You going to be okay Flower?" He asks me, concern in his voice. By now he knows how much this would usually panic me, even though I've never explicitly told him that it would. He can read me so easily.
"I'll be fine." I smile at him, silently thanking him for checking on me.
"We hooked up in the bathroom." He urges me, checking that we've got our story straight just in case.
I nod before turning to walk towards the door, and as my hand is on the knob to turn it to open it, I freeze, turning my head to look at him again. He hasn't moved from the place he was stood before, looking at me with an innocence in his eyes that I don't think I've ever noticed before.
"I've never slept with Zayn, Dickhead. He's just a friend, I promise."
And I leave him in my dressing room, hoping he will still be there when I get back.
~~~~
I'm sorry nothing really happened in this chapter, but when we get to our next location things will be really picking up.
Thank you so much for 27k!!! I love you all so much <3
Liv xxxx