Draco ended up staying in his new bare bedroom that night. He had apparated back to the manor with the pretense of sleeping there. He broke after only 15 minutes, just enough time for him to ache from the loneliness in his chest and grab a change of clothes. He was in an even worse mood than his argument with Granger had put him in. He shoved his Occlumency shields back in place when he heard her muffled voice next door, talking to someone.
His shields were difficult to keep up, he noticed. He had to focus on them almost as hard as when he had first started learning from Snape. It irritated him to no end knowing how hard he had to fight for privacy in his own mind. But he would not be a vulnerable Hufflepuff to Granger. She would only feel the emotions he let her in on, even if he had to put all his energy into protecting his mind.
When Pansy and Theo barged into his room, hovering hot plates of food behind them, he wavered between relief and anger.
"You've improved a lot, even since the last time I saw you."
Draco lifted his head up for that. The two apparently not dead, supposed best friends of his had been chatting noncommittally to him for the past thirty minutes. It annoyed him how they seemed to know what he needed.
"What are you on about, Nott?"
Theo smiled, seemingly unaffected by Draco's foul tone.
"Your Occlumency shields. I bet the Weasley's downstairs will hit a brick wall when they try to come up for bed."
Draco grimaced, but pulled back a bit anyways. "You were always shite at Occlumency."
"Three years ago, sure. But now," he took a bite of his dinner roll, "I can hold my own."
Draco raised his eyebrows. "Did you want to test that out? I bet the Order has much lower standards than the Malfoy's."
Theo and Pansy shared a look and both turned to him with malicious smiles. "Well let's put that theory to the test, shall we? My Order versus your Death Eater?"
Draco didn't flinch. He merely grabbed Theo by the neck and dove into his mind.
His shields had gotten better. It took Draco seven shoves before he gave in.
He showed Draco a variety of memories, from the moment Pansy and him had decided to defect, to the many Order meetings and frighteningly enough, funerals he had attended since joining.
He watched with mild indignation as the two Slytherin's sat with only each other, looking frightened and alone. With each passing memory the regret seemed to grow in Theo's expressions.
He watched Theo's binding ceremony, watched as he wrapped his arms around the girl who had sneered at him the day before, calling him names and taunting Pansy. Draco tried to back out, but Theo thrust his next memory particularly hard and Draco couldn't resist.
It seemed to happen just hours after the binding. Theo was alone on the roof, smoking a muggle cigarette. Draco hardly recognized the area without the expansion of the roof being charmed on it. Apparently this was before they used it as a training ground.
The door thrust open then and Ginny sauntered through, hair blowing behind her as the wind hit it. She approached Theo slowly with a hand over her chest.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, eyes looking out on the horizon.
Theo didn't reply, merely took another drag. He held it in for an obscene amount of time. Ginny sighed.
"I know it's not enough, and I'm sorry for that too. If I would have known what you'd been feeling this whole time," she reached out and put her other hand on his chest, placed exactly where hers was, and he froze. "Then I would have been less inclined to judge and more likely to embrace you as the person you are, the person you presented to us, and not as the person I made you out to be."
Theo took another puff. "That's not how the world works though, is it?" He didn't shake off her hand.
Ginny shook her head. "But now I know to keep my daft opinions to myself and try and get to know other people before judging them." She hesitated, mouth open before carrying on.
"I've just sat down and had tea with Pansy."
Theo jerked his head to ogle at her before schooling his expression into one indifference.
"That must have been lovely, I do hope she complimented the house decor, especially the lovely bint hung in the main room that screams at everyone."
Ginny pressed her lips together to keep from smiling and Theo shook from repressed laughter.
"It's not like we gave you any reason to trust us, really," he replied after he's reigned his emotions back in. "We just showed up after years of being on opposite sides. I shouldn't have been so surprised when you didn't trust us."
"I suppose you thought your charm would work it's magic on us."
"It's worked in every other part of my life." His tone was bitter.
Ginny sighed and laid her head on his arm. "You're so much more than what you let people see." She glanced up at him and Theo looked to her as the tension released from his body. "I want to make sure everyone knows it. I want to help make sure the Order becomes a home to everyone who's looking for refuge— especially the Slytherins."
Draco was back in the bedroom, staring at the ground and trying not to think about the waves of emotions in his stomach. That was the thing about memories, they were always swimming with feelings and he always thought that was the hardest part about invading someone's mind. They couldn't hide anything. They were vulnerable. Theo has willingly let him feel all of it.
He gave Theo a tight look, clenching his jaw. "She got all that just from binding to you?"
Theo raised his eyebrows. "You punched me in the kitchen when I tried to separate you from Granger, yet you're telling me that conversation is hard to believe?"
Draco locked his eyes on the bedpost to his right. "Thinking I want to be near someone and pretending like I understand them is not the same thing."
Theo shrugged. "I guess not. You don't even understand yourself."
---
Theo woke Draco the next morning by throwing a bottle of shampoo at his head.
"Still upset about last night?" Draco grit, rubbing at the bump forming on his forehead.
"We're meeting on the roof in half an hour for your first dueling session. Wear appropriate attire."
Draco rolled his eyes. "I've left my dress robes at home, do you think I'll have time to fetch them?"
"With all the fancy parties you attend on behalf of Tom, it might not be a bad idea to practice in them."
Draco raised his eyebrows and swung his feet off the side of his bed. "How do you know about those?"
Everyone knew about the revels. But the parties. Not even all Death Eaters were aware those went on.
Theo shot a sparkling smile towards him. "I've missed you, Drakie. I was sure to keep tabs on you."
"How many spies does the Order have?"
Theo leant against the doorframe, feigning nonchalance in the way that made Draco want to strangle him. "Does Tom have something to be worried about? Loyalty is so hard to find these days."
Draco grit his teeth. "If there are others I deserve to know. We could work out a system on the best way to gather intel." Draco was already working way harder than he originally intended, surely there was a better way to accomplish the Order's goals.
Theo gestured to the bottle of shampoo. "You're down to twenty five minutes now. Better hurry so you have time to eat breakfast." And with that he was gone.
Draco threw the plastic to the ground and closed his eyes. He flicked through all the memories that had haunted him the past few days and filed them together. He pushed them back to the darkest recesses of his mind and focused on erecting a strong, metal wall around them.
When he was satisfied that the wall was sturdy enough to hold, he allowed himself five minutes to meditate. If today held similar surprises to the previous days, he was going to need his focus strong and his emotions checked.
When finished, Draco checked his watch and began to dress quickly. He made it to the top of the roof— only making two wrong turns in the process— three minutes late.
When he arrived he saw four figures crowded in the furthest corner. He sauntered towards them, not allowing his punctuality to come into question. He suppressed a groan when he saw Longbottom and Pansy were present, along with Ginny and Theo.
"Draco!" Pansy skipped over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. He clenched his jaw and kept his arms firmly at his sides. Honestly, he could throw an Avada at her and she would probably still make excuses for his behavior.
Longbottom stood off to the side hovering awkwardly. Draco peeled Pansy off his body and ushered her back in the direction of her partner. Longbottom's shoulders drooped, the tension leaving his body. Draco nodded politely at him, and he gave a soft smile in return. He looked towards the other pair.
"Theo," he turned his head slightly. "Weasley."
Theo glared at him. He sighed, but corrected himself. "Ginny, I meant." Salazar, was he really this desperate to gain back Theo's friendship?
"Malfoy." Ginny's voice was short, but her eyes were warm enough. He flashed back to Theo's memory of her standing on this very roof.
"I want to help make sure the Order becomes a home to everyone who's looking for refuge— especially the Slytherins."
His eye twitched. Maybe she meant that. Still though, was it any better to be considered a charity case at the hands of a Weasley?
"Sorry I'm late." He recognized the voice, but Granger's presence was made most obvious by the pleasant humming in his chest that had begun the moment the squeaky door was thrown open. He reminded himself to stand up straight and pocketed his hands.
"Granger." He didn't look at her.
She huffed a breath beside him. Had she run up here?
"Malfoy. Pleasure to see you survived the night."
His eyes narrowed. "I'm sure the entirety of the Order would shut down operations in mourning if I hadn't."
"Yes yes Draco, we would hardly know how to cope." Theo rolled his eyes. "Shall we cut down on the animosity and get down to business?"
Beside him, Granger nodded. As she stepped forward to the front of the group he felt a compulsion to follow her. He resisted, opting to sway on his feet instead. The group gave him odd glances. Granger ignored them all.
"We have an A Team and B Team group here today to help Malfoy get better acquainted with our style of dueling. As discussed previously we will have the two pairs of you demonstrate what exactly this bind is capable of, and then the two of us will face each pair separately. We will finish off with a three way battle, if energy allows us."
Energy? Draco had spent the past four years climbing the Death Eater ranks at the speed of an owl with an emergency post. He was hardly worried about his stamina.
"Malfoy." Granger's voice brought him back to the present. "Pay attention. It's difficult enough to follow as it is, and I hardly feel like making a stop at the infirmary today."
"If you think of me as an inadequate partner then I can hardly bear to think how desperate the Order has become to allow me the honor to tarnish the Golden Girl's reputation."
Granger raised her eyebrows and turned on him. "It's hardly eight in the morning, would you really like to start the bickering so early?"
He shrugged and shot her a smirk. "You'll have to blame Theo, really. He gave me a warm up this morning."
"If you want—"
"Hermione."
The pair turned to see four sets of eyes ogling them, with Ginny at the front.
"Shall we get started?"
Granger's mouth was still opened with the insult poised on her tongue. He could hear it echoing in his mind. She had quite the vocabulary on her. He mentally shot back a lewd response. She turned narrowed eyes on him and he smirked.
"Looks like I'll have to be the mature one here," she bit out, hands clenched into fists.
"Yes, those images you're sending of punching me in the face are very adult of you."
"Neville!" Pansy called out desperately, motioning for him to follow her to the center of the roof. "Let's get started, shall we?"
Longbottom, who was staring open mouthed at the bickering pair, snapped his head to Pansy and nodded.
Before either could respond or resume their battle of wits internally, there was a loud bang and Malfoy's head snapped to the culprit, wand drawn.
He watched in awe as the dueling he had witnessed on his first day was replicated. Spells, hexes and shields were all flying faster than he could keep track of. He heard a giggle to his left and turned to see Pansy smiling with unrelented joy as she sent dangerous spell one after another towards Theo and Ginny, who were firing back with equally damaging magic flying from the tips of their wands.
"That is quite questionable magic the Order has approved," Malfoy mused to Granger, who was looking at the display with a quill and parchment in her hands, taking notes. "Reminds me of the Dark Magic the Dark Lord encourages.
She didn't move her eyes but her shoulders tensed. "Not quite Dark Magic," was her response.
He opened his mouth to push her further, because damn it if she thought her evasive answers would work on him, but suddenly she was gone from his side. His chest ached and his hand lifted to it at the same moment he fought the urge to follow her.
As Granger approached, the spells came to a halt. The four watched and waited for directions, all breathing heavy and sweaty, but their grins never slipped.
"Excellent, we'll take a five minute break and when you return Malfoy and I will have a go against Pansy and Neville."
No questions or objections were made, just the nodding of heads as the pairs dispersed. Granger stood in place, reading her notes with the quill between her teeth.
"I figured Potter would be the one in charge." Her eyes lifted to his briefly, brows raised, but she looked back down as she spoke around her quill.
"I'm not in charge, Malfoy."
"I have a hard time believing that, seeing as you just gave orders and no one questioned them." He crossed his arms over his chest, challenging her.
"Seeing as it was a simple request for the people who have just spent the past half hour training to get some water, I hardly see the need for anyone to refute it." She rolled her eyes and began writing again, crossing things out and adding to her notes.
"I'll have to change that."
Irritation flowed through his tether to her and he smirked.
"Isn't life hard enough, Malfoy? We're in the middle of a war." She rolled her eyes, disappearing the parchment and quill with a nonverbal spell and no wand. Impressive.
"I assure you my life of luxury has only increased since my time at Hogwarts ended."
"Yes, well we can't all be spoiled brats now, can we?" Her tone was dry and her stature was tense.
Malfoy shrugged. "Have you given it a shot? I highly recommend it."
She snorted and walked to the edge of the roof where a pink water bottle sat.
"Muggleborn, or have you forgotten?"
He waved his hand dismissively. "Semantics. Perhaps you just haven't tried hard enough."
Before she could respond Pansy and Longbottom were back, wands in hand.
"Ready?" Longbottom looked nervous, as if he was waiting for one of them to spontaneously combust. Draco wondered if that was possible, and if so how irritating he would have to be to accomplish it.
Granger nodded towards him and then eyed Draco.
"A few things to note," she muttered through clenched teeth. "This bind was created specifically for battling, which means our tether will be strongest in the midst of it. Emotionally and physically, we will be more aware of each other."
Draco nodded. "And if I get hit by one of those fast flying deadly hexes you allow your friends to throw?"
Hermione smirked. "You won't."
"But how—"
"You'll just have to trust me, Malfoy." She drew her wand and sauntered past him.
He paused for a moment, wanting to refute her statement of trust, but thought of his tether humming happily in his chest and knew that he did.
The realization was unsettling.
He joined her side awkwardly, drawing his wand out of his pocket. Granger nodded at him and then threw the first jinx.
Pansy quickly threw up a shield at the same time Longbottom threw back a nasty slicing hex that would kill a man within minutes. Without thinking— without even processing what was happening— Draco cut it down just inches from Granger's throat and was throwing back a burning spell with all his might.
Pansy ducked and rolled away from it gracefully, eyebrows raised in surprise, but her smirk remained.
"Not bad, Malfoy." She turned to her partner. "Neville, lets go full speed, shall we?"
Draco found himself responding on pure instinct rather than any logic. He didn't have any time to think properly, only to react. He felt his magic flowing through him quicker than ever, like his first flight on the newest racing broom. He could feel an additional magic, this one a bit slower, more methodical, which allowed him an additional nanosecond to aim his wand properly.
His spells flew faster and if this were any normal target he was attempting to hit, he knew it'd be dead on every time. No one would stand a chance.
Granger threw up shields for him if he was in the middle of casting, blocked hexes and through their connection let him know which way he should move. He never questioned it, just followed her command blindly. This would be irritating if she wasn't responding to him in a similar manner.
When she signaled for them to stop, he automatically knew even though it wasn't something they had discussed prior.
His breathing was heavy and he was sweating profusely. He looked down at his undershirt. It was soaked through. Draco glanced up to see Granger tossing him a water bottle. He caught it and raised his chin in thanks.
"So," she began, sipping from her own drink. "How do you feel?"
Exhausted, definitely but above all else he felt amazing. He thought back on the time Blaise and he had snuck into his father's potion stores and taken some of the pain relief draughts. The result had been a high laughing state that lasted for hours and sent them both into a state of euphoria. He had longed to recreate it, but knew better than to become addicted.
This feeling was like that, times ten.
He shrugged. "It's alright."
She snorted and shook her head.
"Though I must say, the battle is impressive. No normal person will ever be able to see any of those spells coming."
She laughed, eyes brightening for the first time since he'd seen her. "Welcome to the Light side, Malfoy. Looks like you joined just in time."
---
Later, when they all sat down to eat dinner, Granger sitting directly next to him— which he pretended he didn't notice, therefore he didn't need to say anything about— he looked over as she picked up a green bean with her fingers and chewed on it slowly.
"I thought the Order didn't use Dark Magic," he began, watching as she chewed with methodical precision, despite using her hands like a barbarian.
"We don't," she responded simply. Her eyes stayed trained pointedly on her food.
He leaned back, arms across his chest. "What would you call this bind then? All those carefully crafted spells you used on the roof?"
She shrugged as she popped another green bean into her mouth, repeating the phrase from earlier that sounded just as ridiculous now as it had then.
"Not quite Dark Magic."