Jr: Here's another video with the Top Gear/Grand Tour Boys
Everyone: YAY
The video starts with Richard saying what Jeremy and James are doing today.
Richard: Now, if you want a confortable, well-equipped four-seater for around £25,000, there are currently 30 different models on the market.
Jr: Just a question, but what kind of cars do you people drive
Della: I drive and pilot every, so I don't care what car I like unless it's something to enjoy with my family
Saitama: I remember I drive my Toyota Supra, too bad I don't have it anymore
All Might: Oh yeah, I remember my old Dodge Charger when I went to America
Jr: Funny, it reminds me of Fast and the Furious
Olley: I drove my BMW R75 motorcycle when I was a kid soldier with my brothers
Kota: Oh yeah, because of you guys being in the Clantarian Wehrmacht as kids
Mahoro: That's not even a car though
Dewey: Yeah, but he still managed to drive one
Everyone: WHAT?!
Olley: Yeah, some Clantarians get matured very fast almost immediately at birth
Katsuma: I'm jealous
Louie: That's too bad then
Olley: Even though us four didn't have that happen to us
Kaminari: Hang on, are we gonna ignore the fact that these four kids are soldiers as kids?!
Jr: Oh it's kinda like one of those "Hitler Youth" thing
Everyone:...
Nezu: I drive a tank to work
Everyone then starred at Nezu.
Huey: Wait what, that's not a car
Richard: But these two, being old and odd, decided none of them were good enough and instead they wanted to buy cars from the pages of history.
Mineta: Are they getting cars from famous people
Jr: Kinda
Richard: I should stress that what we've got coming up now isn't the usual Top Gear cheap car challenge, because these really are their cars. The stupid-
The screen then changed to James with an old Rolls Royce car.
James: This is what I've bought. It's a 1972 Rolls Royce Corniche fixed head with coachwork by HJ Mulliner Park Ward.
Masaru: Hey, that's literally my car
Hisashi: Oh the Ford Zephyr with a chrome nose
Masaru: You're not gonna let that go, are you
James: And it's everything I look for in a classic, luxury car. It's quiet, it's supremely comfortable and it's quintessentially British.
Monoma: I can get something better than that
James: Frankly, if you have £25,000 to spend on classic luxury and you don't buy one of these, you're an imbecile.
Monoma then grumbled.
Then Jeremy came in an old Mercedes-Benz car.
Hisashi: Hey that's my car
James: See what I mean. Reichsmarschall Goering has arrived. Morgen!
Jeremy: This, James, as I'm sure you know, is a Mercedes 600 Grosser, which was, in 1963, the most expensive car in the world.
Momo's dad: My father have that in his classic car collection, I still have it with my family
Momo: Yeah, my grandpa was a huge fan of classic cars
James: Overpriced then, like most Mercedes.
Masaru: I think the Corniche beats the Grosser in every way of looks
Jeremy: Wro-No! Does your car have a hydraulically operated sunshine roof?
Masaru/James: No.
Jeremy: Hydraulic windows?
Masaru/James: No.
Jeremy: Hydraulic seats?
Masaru/James: No.
Jeremy: Hydraulic doors?
Masaru/James: No.
Jeremy: Hydraulic boot lid?
Masaru/James: No.
Hisashi/Jeremy: Well, there you are.
Masaru: Shut up
James: That's that then, is it?
Jeremy: You've got a Ford Zephyr with a chrome nose.
Hisashi: HAH, TOLD YA
Masaru:
James: This is a coach built, hand-built car.
Jeremy: Hand-built is just another way of saying the door will fall off.
Melissa: That's not true Jeremy
Jeremy: What's this called, Rolls-Royce Mulliner Park Ward?
James: HJ Mulliner Park Ward.
Jeremy: It sounds like a plumbers convention.
Bakuhoe: Sounds like a stupid garden show to me
Jeremy: Can I show you something?
Jeremy then showed the little windows on the doors.
Jeremy: You see these little windows, you know what they are for?
Mina: What are they for?
Dark Shadow: For looks?
Jeremy: So that when you're in the back and the window is down, this stops the draught messing your hair up.
Hisashi: Even though I owned that car, I didn't know that
Jeremy: You've seen this as well? Has your car got these?
Jeremy then also showed the curtains in the car.
James: Curtains?
Jeremy: Curtains.
Saitama: Ok
James: No, they go in caravans.
Jeremy then went to the back of his car.
Jeremy: Are you ready for this?
James: Yes.
Jeremy: Okay, ready?
Jeremy then pressed a button that closed the boot.
Tokoyami: I don't see anything special about that
James: That's brilliant actually. I have to concede that because what I've found really difficult is this.
James then manually closed the boot door on his car.
Everyone then sweat drops.
James: (Narrative) Plainly, this had to be settled and the only way Top Gear knows.
The screen cuts to Jeremy and James driving their cars.
James: (Narrative) So, we headed for the test track.
Jeremy: What the Grosser did was cement Mercedes's reputation for engineering integrity. I think the only reason they didn't make it out of diamonds is because they're too weak and brittle. And then there's the ride. Just completely irons out the bumps. James will be saying the same thing in that Ford Zephyr of his. I know he will.
Meanwhile with James.
James: Absolutely nothing is allowed to compromise the quality of the ride. In fact, I like to believe that if you worked at Rolls Royce in the 1970s and you ever used a word like handling or sporty, you'd have been fired.
David: I don't think that's true
Jeremy: This was a car for heads of state, dictators if I'm honest. People who had a 600 almost always had access to an air force. That's why nobody carves it up. Partly 'cause it's got the loudest horn in the world and also because I can call in air strike.
Inko then slapped Hisashi.
Inko: You almost gave me a heart attack with that loud horn Hisashi
Hisashi: Ow, I did say sorry
Nana: That's my daughter
James: (Narrative) At the track the producers had laid on a series of tests. The first inevitably involved Lord Stig.
The Stig then sets off doing a time trial as James read what they're going to do.
Jeremy: Okay, surprise me.
James: "As you can see, the Stig is currently driving a 1.1 litre Hyundai iEO down a slalom."
Jeremy: It's an i10. Some say that's his own car.
James: "You will attempt to beat his time in your much more elaborate and sophisticated cars."
Jeremy: Here he comes. That's a proud and noble car that is.
It then shows the Stig's time that is 24.462 seconds.
James: With the Stig's marker laid down, the Rolls went first.
James then sets off doing his run.
James: If this car had a monocle, it would fall out now. I can't hold 'er, Captain.
Jeremy: It's not a dignified spectacle, that.
James then went to turn around but his turning circle was too wide forcing him stop to back up while Jeremy laughs.
James: Cock.
Jeremy: (Laughs) He's reversing!
Bakuhoe: We have eyes Sherlock
James: (Narrative) This was ridiculous.
Masaru: It does
James: Going to be sick.
James then pass the finish line and his time was placed.
Jeremy: Okay, so the Hyundai did it in 24.46 seconds and James...
The time James got was 37.804 seconds.
Jeremy: That's not good, mate.
Everyone (Minus Masaru) then laughs at James.
Jeremy: (Narrative) I had good reason to imagine the green Grosser will do better.
Jeremy then shows James a switch behind the steering wheel.
Jeremy: This is my secret weapon. Pull it down and it increases the pressure in the shock absorbers to 3,000 lbs per square inch.
James: Cor!
Jeremy: It is cor! It will be like an F1 racer going down there.
James: (Narrative) It wasn't.
Jeremy: No, it's not quite straight level as I might have hoped.
Saitama: I guess that's his disadvantage
Jeremy: (Narrative) But unlike the Rolls it's turning circle was less than the width of the runway.
James: That's quite good, actually.
Masaru: I have to admit that as well
Jeremy: You've got to bear in mind if you got a dictator in the back and terrorists come, you've got to get away quickly.
Jeremy then crossed the finish line.
Jeremy: OOO, it's a lot faster than Captain Slow.
The time Jeremy got was 29.295 seconds.
James: Cock.
Hisashi then put on the Jeremy Clarkson Smug Face.
James: (Narrative) So, with the first blood to the Mercedes it was time for our next challenge.
Jeremy: "There will now be a quarter mile drag race between the two of you."
Hisashi: Oh the Grosser will win this
Jeremy: But it says the only thing is you aren't allowed to use your engines.
Everyone: Excuse me?!
Kaminari: Why can't they
Jeremy: It says, "Old cars break down a lot and you should get used to pushing them out of harm's way." A quarter of a mile pushing race?
Masaru then smug faced Hisashi because he knew that the Grosser is heavier than the Corniche.
Jeremy: Hold on, there's something else, it says, "Hisashi Midoriya and Masaru Bakugo must attend or they will get punished."
Hisashi and Masaru: WHAT?!?!
James and Jeremy then pulled Hisashi and Masaru from their seats and prepared their cars for the race with Hisashi with Jeremy and Masaru with James.
Jeremy: I've put my back out just thinking about doing this.
James: You're trying to get out of it.
Masaru: Just say go
Jeremy: Are we ready?
Hisashi: No
The lights then went green and they started pushing.
Hisashi: Oh no
Hisashi, Masaru, James, and Jeremy then struggle to push their cars.
Deku: This is not what I expected
Bakuhoe: COME ON OLD MAN, BEAT DEKU'S OLD MAN
Jr: So you do care about your family
Bakuhoe: SHUT UP SMILEY FREAK
Several days later.
Inko: SEVERAL DAYS?!?!
Mitsuki: There's no way
Jr: It's a joke, you know that
Masaru/James: We're moving.
Hisashi/Jeremy: We're not.
James: And we're already ahead.
Jeremy: I've got no tracks on these shoes. How much does yours actually weigh?
James: 2.2 tons.
Jeremy: Mine's 2.8.
James: Hang on , you're getting ahead.
Hisashi: COME ON JEREMY, WE GOT THIS
Masaru: I keep telling you, it's a curse saying
Jeremy: God, this is painful.
Several days and a trip to the hospital later.
Jeremy was then shown laying on the ground.
Jeremy: I can't go on. I've had a heart attack
Hisashi: Don't give up Jeremy
James: We've won that.
Masaru: Yeah, Jeremy aint getting up after that
Jeremy: Yes, you have, you've won.
James: We were still going.
Hisashi: Get up, we're not even at the finish line
Jeremy: I don't care, I'm not going anymore. I bet I've got Ebola.
Both Hisashi and Masaru got back to their seats in the theater.
Masaru: This was the weirdest thing we've ever did
Hisashi: Tell me about it
Jeremy: (Narrative) Mercifully the next test did involve our engines. Which car could achieve the highest top speed?
The camera then shows James doing his run and then pans to Jeremy.
Jeremy: I've reached five.
Meanwhile, with James.
James: Buffeting. I've got 80.
Jeremy: (Narrative) The radar trap was set.
James: 90, Good God, the trim's coming off.
Masaru: Yeah that's annoying to have
James: (Narrative) But with a six and three-quarter liter V8, the final result should be impressive.
James then reached 97.03.
Toru: That looks impressive
James: (Narrative) It wasn't.
Jeremy: (Laughing) Children come out of the womb faster than that!
Jr: Don't bother trying not to tell my children what it is, they pretty much knew
James then apply the brakes.
James: Oh God!
Jeremy: (Narrative) Before James had stopped I fired up the 6.3 litre big.
Jeremy then started his run.
Pony: How fast does that car go
Jeremy: Top speed of this car in 1969 was 128.
Mina: Miles or kilometers?
Della: Miles
Jeremy: 120 kph. 130. 160. There it is, 100 miles an hour. 170. Stop!
Jeremy then reached 108.43.
Jeremy: Stop!
Jeremy then apply his brakes and both James and Jeremy still ended up off the runway.
Jeremy: My brakes are on fire. We can see the smoke. It didn't stop and now it's on fire.
Deku: Those cars don't have great brakes
James: Still stopped better than me, I have to say.
Jeremy: Yeah, your stopping distance is rubbish.
The video continues on with James and Jeremy driving through the streets.
James: (Narrative) With the score at two-one to the Grosser, we were given the easiest challenge in the history of Top Gear. Go to the centre of London and park.
Ojiro: Wait, just park
Jr: Yep
James: (Narrative) On the way we stopped for a cup of tea and an argument about running costs.
James and Jeremy then talked about the costs in their car's service
James: My last service bill... £212.09. There it is.
Jeremy then looked at the cost of James' hosepipe.
Jeremy: £212 for a hosepipe!
James: Yes. What was yours?
Jeremy: Read it and weep. That's the last service bill.
James then looked at the cost for Jeremy's service cost.
James: Eh? 50-(Laughs) I misread that at first!
Tomura: What, what is it?!
James: £15,950.59.
Jeremy: Yes. £15,950.59 for the service. There was quite a lot needed doing, if I'm honest.
James: What did it do, buy you a Golf?
Momo: That's a lot of money for the service cost
James and Jeremy: (Laughs)
Jeremy: (Narrative) In London our cars were plainly so much better than anyone else's.
Jeremy then complemented All For One's BMW next to him.
All For One: WHY AM I HERE
Jeremy: Look at you. Look at you in the back of your Beemer.
Olley: Beemer is another way to say BMW
Jeremy: You just look like a businessman, not a dictator.
All For One: Watch your tone, Clarkson
Meanwhile with James.
James: Look at him living out his Chairman Margaret Clarkson fantasy.
James then honked his horn.
Jeremy: Don't blow your horn, James, or I'll blow mine back and then your ears will bleed.
Mineta: Those cars may look cool, but they're big
Jeremy: (Narrative) Sure, our £25,000 cars were a bit enormous, but then you need a lot of space when you're talking about this level of luxury.
Jeremy then showed an example of what he meant in his narration.
Jeremy: This is my cocktail cabinet here. Air-conditioning, of course, with mounting points for your shot glasses.
James then showed something "Interesting."
James: Here is an interesting early safety feature. Window goes down. Window goes up, but stops a couple of inches short. Then you press a little button and it closes.
Tetsu: What's the purpose of that
James: That's so you don't cut your finger off.
Huey: Cars in the past don't have safety features unlike what modern cars have
James and Jeremy ventured deeper in London to find a parking space.
Jeremy: Look at this bus. Why does he have to do that? You wouldn't do that to most 600 drivers, mate. You'd be in the boot without your head.
Everyone:...
Jeremy: (Narrative) Soon, though, without executing anyone, we were in the West End. And all we had to do was park. How hard could that be?
Jeremy began struggling to find an empty spot to park.
Jeremy: No... Double yellow line. Single yellow line, double yellow line.
Bubble Girl: Shouldn't jinx it
Jeremy: (Narrative) Turned out to be a nightmare because when we did come across a space, it always have a Smug Mobile in it.
The camera then shows parking spots taken by a G Wiz.
Jeremy: Look at them! Two G Wizs taking up one space, that's just selfish.
James: In May's Britain, that would be punishable by six months in prison.
Jeremy: (Narrative) Happily though, electric car drivers have no style. So, we headed for the one place we knew would be G Wiz-Free. (Normal) Savile Row. There's always a parking space on Savile Row.
Jeremy then found a parking space.
Jeremy: James, that's a parking space. I'm going to have it. (Narrative) Now we could put this challenge to bed.
All Might: Wait, does both cars have to park in order for them to be done?
Saitama: I think one of them would be free to go if they parked their car
Jeremy: I'm good at parallel parking. I lived in London for 18 years.
Jeremy then began to struggle to park his car.
Jeremy: How am I doing?
Everyone/James: Badly.
Kirishima: That spot is too small for your car
Shoto: Just find another spot
Jeremy: Well, I am going to park if it kills me. Come on!
Jeremy continues to try and park his car which created a traffic jam behind James.
Nighteye: Just find another parking space
Jeremy: No. What exactly would you like me to do?
James: God, this is embarrassing.
Meanwhile with BBC Radio Tune.
Podcaster: And that's affecting traffic going into Harrogate. Finally, we're getting a lot of calls about severe congestion and delays around Regent Street in central London. Don't know what's going on, but callers are saying it's a nightmare, so avoid it for the time being. That's it for now. More traffic news in around half an hour.
Jeremy: It's not going to fit, is it?
Everyone: YES, IT WON'T FIT!!!
Jeremy: (Narrative) So bravely, I gave up. (Normal) I'm really sorry about that.
James: Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Bakuhoe: THE [Bleep] MAN!
Bakuhoe: Don't you say anything Shitty Hair
Jeremy: I do not know how long a standard London parking bay is, but I suspect it's about a foot shorter than the Mercedes big. (Narrative) Eventually, we did find two end on spaces. However... (Normal) Where do you put the money?
Deku: Where you put the cash/coins at
Jeremy: Cards only.
Jr: They don't always know what to do
Melissa: There are instructions on it so that might help them
Jeremy: (Narrative) Annoyingly, the instructions were tiny, very tiny. (Normal) Because of all the different languages spoken in London, it's all just signs.
Momo: They're just labeled in flags of countries, just select the right one
Jeremy: What's that? Flag minus plus... It's...
James: That's where you put your PIN number, I'm sure. Right, put your card back in.
Jeremy: "Selection avec bouton bleu..."
James: That must...
James and Jeremy: "Pagmento."
Jeremy: Where's that from?
Yuga then squealed.
Yuga: OMG, THAT IS FRENCH
Jeremy: Hit everything.
James: No, you've just cancelled it.
Jeremy: What was the matter with money?
James: "Remove card."
Jeremy: We haven't paid. We've been thwarted.
Kota: No, you just don't know what you're doing
Jeremy: (Narrative) At the next place we found, you didn't need credit cards. However...
Phone: Customers are required to set up an account. You will need a valid credit debit card. All transactions are subject... You are responsible for entering the correct vehicle and location... and normally parking regulation over our network delivery... Click check to find an alternative spaces when necessary.
Everyone then got confused.
Jeremy: How long have we been now?
James: All my life. (Narrative) Bravely, we gave up again and headed for a traditional multi-storey. (Normal) Look at that, a ticket to park a car. (Narrative) This was great. They take your money, however it comes, and in return, you get spaces.
Jeremy then managed to tightly fit his car in a parking space.
Jeremy: Yes! I am in. I'm parked.
Jeremy then tried to get out but was stuck between an SUV and a pillar.
Jeremy: Oh, no! I can't get out.
Twice: I bet James is doing better than Jeremy
Jeremy: (Narrative) And James couldn't get in.
James: Doesn't fit.
Twice: Nevermind
Jeremy: (Narrative) Which was making everyone very cross.
James and Jeremy, once again, created another traffic jam and everyone was honking their horns.
Jeremy: Shut up!
Aizawa: They won't, because you two caused a traffic jam twice
Jeremy: Okay, fine. You wanted a horn race?
Inko: Oh no, not again
Hisashi: Don't worry Inko, I don't think Jr. is that harsh to play it loud
Jeremy: Ready,
Jr: Della, quick
Della: Way ahead of ya
Jeremy: Steady...
Della and Jr. both managed to cover the kids' ears, along with Mineta's ears.
Jeremy then honked his horn and it echoes all around London.
(Loud honking noise).
The horn was so loud it made everyone's ears bleed, except Saitama for some reason.
Jeremy: Now, that's a horn!
Everyone was now deaf.
Della: That was close
Mineta: OMG, I could feel it inside me
Huey: In my Jr. Woodchuck Guide Book, bad hearing can be caused by hearing loud noises that can lower the max limit of your hearing
Eri: It does?
Dewey: Oh don't mind him, Hubert is just being overprotective like Uncle Donald
Huey: Being the big brother means big responsibilities, Dewford
Olley then nervously tried to calm his brothers down.
Olley: Can you guys, please stop and continue to watch.
Louie: Aw, it was getting fun, Oliver
Olley: Shut it, Llewellyn
Della: Boys, stop fighting
Huey, Dewey, Louie, and Olley: Yes mom
Saitama: Does your kids always do this
Della: Not all the time
Jr. then fixed everyone's hearing.
Jr: That horn noise can go on for to almost 21ft
Everyone: WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN US ABOUT THAT
James: (Narrative) And it got us throw out. It was becoming apparent that the large car driver cannot stop in London anymore. And because there are now so few petrol stations, it is extremely difficult to keep going.
James' car then ran out of fuel.
James: Oh, bloody hell! Jezza, I've run out.
Jeremy: Hang on, I'll come and give you a hand. (Narrative) In a normal car, this is not embarrassing. However...
The construction workers nearby then began to cheer at James.
James: Jezza, help, help, help! Just push it. I'm going to get... I'm going to get raped or something.
Jeremy and a random worker then helped push James.
Jeremy: Come on, man, turn the wheel.
Random Worker: Put your foot down!
James: Hang on!
Random Worker: Come on, pump it, James, pump it! Two miles an hour!
James then rolls away.
Jeremy: (Laughs) That's the fastest he's ever been.
James: Anyone not doing anything?
Jeremy: (Narrative) London, it is a fantastic city. But unfortunately, if you have a car like James and Masaru's, You can't go there anymore.
Masaru: Yeah, I get it
James then went to refill his car with someone else's car.
Jeremy: Has it gone in your mouth?
James: Yes, it has.
Jeremy: Just admit that mine's the superior car.
James: It's got more petrol in it. I would admit that.
James and Jeremy then both laugh as the screen fades to black and turns back on at the Top Gear Studio where everyone clapped.
Jeremy: It is the colour of an aftermath, James. Afterbirth car. There is only one way we can settle this.
Jeremy then turned to the black board.
Jeremy: What I have here is a list of famous people who, in the past, have owned a Ford Zephyr with a chrome nose. Elton John, Liberace, Dick Emery... Remember? "Ooh, you are awful, but I like you." Masaru Bakugo, and James May. What do they all have in common?
James: What you're trying to say is, because I've got a Corniche, I must, by association, have a wardrobe full of spangly jumpsuits.
Jeremy: That's it, yes!
James: Right, okay.
Jeremy: Fair enough.
James: Spangly jumpsuit man.
Some couldn't help but chuckle a bit.
James: Let's have a look at the Big's famous former owners. They are-
Richard: Is Max Mosley on that list?
Some forgot that Richard was in there as well and remembered him.
James: No. It's worse. It's worse. Look, Amin, Brezhnev, Ceausescu, Tito, Hoxha, Hussein, Castro, Klerk, Hirohito, Pot, Tung, Elvis Presley, and Hisashi Midoriya.
Jeremy: An impressive list.
James: It is an impressive list. But if your theory is correct, that means you're either going to murder millions of people, or you're going to die on the bog trying to get 500 cheeseburgers out of your poo chute.
Jeremy: (Laughs) So, really, it comes down to a simple choice. Camp.
James: Or camp commandant.
Jeremy: Exactly!
The video ends.
Jr: What's the car you wanted, the Grosser or the Corniche
Momo: The Grosser may have advantages on speed, better turning, more fuel, and braking, but the brakes do have a bugger chance on catching on fire more than the Corniche
Me: So what care is better, the Grosser or the Corniche?
Jr. then honked the horn on the Grosser bleeding the Author's ears.
Jr: (Impersonates Jeremy) Now that's a horn