Thinking out Loud – Ed Sheeran.
"And when the time comes when I'm no longer young and beautiful will you still love me? When we run out of similarities to hold us together will you still want me? I don't think you will and I don't think you can tell me otherwise; because my beauty is the foundation on which this relationship was built and our similarities are the only thing stopping our differences from ripping us to bits"
"Your beauty will never leave you, at least not through the eyes I see you. I will want you forever this I can promise you. And when the day comes that our similarities run out then the true adventure will begin; we will find new things to love together, and we will live freely, like the wind. And our difference my love? They are no problem. They groom us, they teach us, they make us better for each other. They make me a better man so that I can love more every day, forever and ever. You will always be the only one for me, so all those thoughts are completely unnecessary" – "Reassurance Conversed" TionaH.
***
💫Aston💫
"T?" I call out as I step inside. If I didn't see her car in the garage and hear the whirling of the blender, I wouldn't even know she was here.
"Teresa?" I call again as I walk further inside, careful not to kick any of the moving boxes sitting on the floor.
She threatened to strangle me because I was standing too close to the boxes and she didn't want me and my 'clumsy manly self' to break the contents of the box.
She's so excited to move out of this house and I can't imagine why; she chose it when we just started university and she designed every room in it; maybe she just wants to leave because she wants a place that we can actually call our own or maybe she's just tired of living here. Whatever the reason I'll be sure to get here exactly what she wants even if it's the last thing that I do.
"Teresa Aoki, don't you hear me calling you?" I hiss over the sound of the blender as I rest the bags in my hands in the bumblebee yellow modern chesterfield couch.
The blender stops then I hear slippers slapping against the white tiles; I see her tiny feet before I see her face "No Aston Delaney, I did not hear you calling me; the blender was on I'm sure you're not deaf" she hisses leaning her hands against the black steel railings on the upper floor.
"I didn't even know you were going to be here," she says looking down at me.
"I live here Teresa"
"I know but you told me you were going to see your parents; you didn't say for how long," she says as I climb up the stairs to her.
"I did and I went to see your parents too," I tell her leaning against the railing not too far from her.
"Yeah, I know, they told me"
I bet if they told you why I was there you'd be over the moon.
"They sent something for you" I point to the smallest gift bags sitting on the couch.
"What is it?" she asks looking at me expectantly.
"I don't know" I shrug walking over to the kitchen island and taking a seat on one of the stools.
"What were you making?" I ask, pointing to the blender.
"Green juice," she says walking around me back to the white granite countertop.
"Have you been eating?" I ask her, pulling out my phone.
"Now and again," she says, turning her back to me.
"I thought we were past this Teresa, why are we doing this again?" I hiss looking over at her though she can't see me.
"I feel like I haven't seen you in forever" she avoids my question turning to me, a tight-lipped smile on her face as she throws the vegetable scraps in the trash can.
"I should be saying that to you" I shake my head, putting my phone in my pocket.
And it's true, I haven't seen her in weeks I mean I have seen her, but I find myself falling asleep in the living room waiting for her to come home and she rarely ever does.
"I've been busy" she shrugs turning away again.
"Too busy to come home? Even if it's just for an hour or a few minutes? Too busy to give me a call or send me a text to let me know that you're okay?" I ask, crossing my arms over my chest.
"You know that I'm okay, stop being a child" she hisses, rolling her shoulders.
"I can't know that you're okay unless you tell me that you're okay Teresa" I sigh rubbing my hands over my face.
I've been on the road for hours; I need to get some sleep and I need to get some food. I do not have the strength to argue with her right now; as much as I love and miss her, I was hoping that she wouldn't be here when I got here because I knew something like this would happen.
I really am sick and tired of her always doing this shit to herself and she refuses to listen to me; I don't know what I'm going to do about it and her. It's as if the more I tell her to stop acting out over the things neither of us can control it's more she acts out, constantly driving herself down a rabbit hole.
"I'm always with our friends Aston, if something was wrong with me you would've known," she says pouring the contents of the blender into a glass.
"That is besides the point Teresa; you live here, in this house, with me. I only see you if I go by Alexandre's or if I stop by Kyle's and if I'm lucky I'll catch you at Carter's. We live together and I've seen you in this house all of four times in the last three and a half weeks!" I shout throwing my hands up exasperated.
I really didn't mean to shout but she has been riding my nerves.
"I'm just trying to be there for them Aston! You don't need me as much" she shouts slamming the glass down on the countertop.
"Bullshit!"
"It's not bullshit Aston and you know it. You were there, you heard what that man did to them, you saw that they were struggling for years. I just want them to know that everything is okay now, I'm just trying to help them to feel alright. And Emily is pregnant she needs us more than you know, she's already afraid that she'll have to raise the babies on her own. So, I have to be there for them, all of them because I love them and they need me" she says, her hands flying all over the place as she speaks.
"I know that they are hurting and I know that they are struggling to be okay; I also know that they need us more than they care to admit, especially Emily. I am happy that that little rapist piece of shit is dead because all though it may be adding pressure to them it is bringing them closer to healing and bettering themselves. But you and I both know that you being there for them has nothing to do with the fact that you've been avoiding me" I explain returning to my seat around the kitchen island; propping my elbows on the counter.
"That's what I thought" I shake my head after a full minute of silence.
"When are you going to stop doing this to yourself, Teresa?" I sigh resting my forehead against my fist, closing my eyes.
"How many times do I need to tell you that you're perfect as you are. We don't need anything else, we have each other" I sigh, removing my hand from the countertop, looking up at her.
"I'll stop when I finally get pregnant," she says sitting directly before me.
"We're getting older A; you'll need a family soon and I don't know if I can give that to you" she sighs, resting her forehead in both her palms.
"You are my family Teresa; as long as I have you, I don't really need much more" I stretch across the counter trying to hold her hands but she moves away.
"You love children Aston," she says looking me straight in the eyes.
"I do but Emily is pregnant with twins, I wouldn't be surprised if Carter pops on in Aria before the end of the year, and don't get me started on the two idiots that refuse to see that they were meant for each other. We'll be surrounded by children soon and they're our family too so don't worry about children my love, that's the least" I smile at her lightly, not looking away from her eyes for a second.
"Sure, we'll be surrounded by babies soon but they won't be ours, they won't be yours," she says, the distress in her eyes stirring up a wave of unpleasant emotions in me.
"That's no matter love, we'll have more time for each other can't you see that that's an advantage?" I ask smirking at her.
The corner of her lips turns up into a small smile and my heart flutters; she's so beautiful and she's here doubting herself.
"You're going off-topic A" she laughs lightly and I shake my head.
"No, I'm not. And you're not wrong, we're getting older but we're still young. You're twenty-two and I'm twenty-four, we're about to graduate, we're about to start our lives, we have time to do whatever we want and nothing ever happens before it's time so don't worry about all that" I sigh pulling her hand in mine.
"We've been trying for almost three years Aston, three years" she sighs shaking her head.
"Yes baby, I know but maybe nothing happened because we weren't ready" I rub her thumb over her knuckles.
"Why wouldn't we be ready A? We have each other, we love each other; age is only a number, we are mature, money has never been an issue. We have everything we need to raise children; we would love those children with everything we have so why wouldn't we be ready Aston? Make me understand" she sighs trying to pull her hand away but I hold on tighter.
"Everything you said is true; we have each other, we love each other, age is only a number, we are mature enough to raise children, money has never been an issue and I will try my very best to ensure that it never becomes one and yes if we were blessed with children, we would love them with everything we have. But I was right as well, nothing ever happens before it's time and even if it takes forever, we will try and try and will not stop until we have a child or some children. We have each other and we have forever." I walk around the counter to sit beside her.
"But we don't have forever Aston, a woman can only have children for so long and no longer. What will happen when the time comes when I can no longer give you a child? How will you look at me? Will you even love me the same or at all for that matter? Will you be able to look at me and tell me that we have each other forever after wasting your years with me when you could've been with someone else? Someone who could've made you happier than I; someone who could've given you a child? When you realize that I am incapable of granting you the joy that comes with holding your child in your arms on good days and bad will you still think that we should have each other forever? Or will you regret the day you met me and all the time we spent together?" she asks looking up at me, her eyes filled with tears.
"This is what this has been about all these years?" I ask her and she looks away.
"I won't be young and beautiful forever Aston" she sniffles, wiping a stray tear from her left cheek.
"Teresa- "
"No" she shakes her head holding up her hand cutting me off.
"We'regrowing and though we're doing it together there is always a possibility thatone of us will change in a way neither of us were expecting and that willchange everything. I will not be young and beautiful forever watashi no ai; so,
I can't guarantee that you'll love me forever. However, if we have children there is always a possibility that you'll love me because I love our children, not saying that that's the only reason I'd want children from you but I think you get the point".
"You love children Aston, you're a family man; I don't know why I can't give you children but you've been here with me the entire time and you've seen that I'm trying but I just can't. Eventually, you'll get enough of me and I really don't want that. I love you more than you can imagine and when I see my future, I see you, I don't ever want to lose you but I'm afraid that if I can't give you what you want, you'll get tired of me and you'll move on" she sniffles, wiping tears off her cheeks frantically.
"Change is inevitable and it is unpredictable; it also disrupts the natural flow of things but there is nothing we can do about any of that so don't worry your pretty little head about change my little blue," I say pulling her hands from her face.
"You will always be beautiful to me and I will always love you no matter if we have no children or twenty children. You are my person and there is no one else out there for me. You don't need to worry about me falling out of love with you because that will never happen unless, by some unfortunate miracle, I lose my memories, and even then, I'm sure that I would be able to fall in love with you all over again. You are the love of my life Teresa Aoki and one of these fine days I will make you my wife even if I have to drag you down the aisle myself" I hiss at the end as I wipe the tears from my eyes.
"Your beauty is not something that old age can replace my love; your beauty comes from here" I place my hand over her heart.
"You are the most beautiful person I know and it has nothing to do with your amazing smile," I say resting my fingers at the corner of her lips.
"And it has nothing to do with the shape of your breath-taking curves," I say pulling her off the stool between my legs.
"Or your cute little nose" I kiss the tip of her nose.
"Your beautiful eyes" I kiss the corners of her eyes.
"Or your oversized forehead" I kiss her forehead, wincing when she smacks me in my chest.
"I knew you before and during puberty; I knew you at your lowest and I knew you at your highest and during all those times and every time after that you were the most beautiful person in my life." I hug her tightly to my chest.
"There is nothing you can do to make me think otherwise. You will always be the most beautiful woman I know and you will forever be the apple of my eyes" I kiss her forehead rocking her sideways.
"Even if I go bald?" she asks and I roll my eyes.
"Even if you get a tattoo on your forehead" I state flatly.
"You know I might get a tattoo there because..."
"Shut up Teresa and let me finish" I roll my eyes pulling her away from me.
"You don't ever have to worry about me not loving you, or not thinking that you are beautiful. You have my entire heart and it is yours to keep for as long as you want it. I will always be happy with you; you mean more to me than you can ever imagine and I will never willingly go a day without you. I want you in my corner always, I want to see that smile for the rest of my life and I'd rather go deaf than live a day without that annoying voice of yours. There is nowhere I would rather be than by your side. Being your partner for six years going on seven has been my greatest honour and I will never regret spending every day of my life trying to make you happy."
"You mean the world to me Teresa and I am nothing without you."
"So, this thing that you've been doing to yourself all these years ends today, right now. I don't want you questioning your worth and I don't want you questioning my love for you. God knows best, you taught me that so if we're to have kids we will when the time is right and not a moment before."
"The love we share is real Teresa; the love I have for you is real and nothing is strong enough to tear us apart"
"I am sick and I am tired of seeing you punish yourself. This ends now Teresa, promise me" I say but she only nods.
"Use your words T" I lift her chin with my index finger.
"I promise" she smiles, wrapping her arms around my torso.
"I missed you little blue" I sigh as the scent of her coconut shampoo fills my lungs.
"I missed you too, but not that dumbass nickname; you could've left that in Willowdale," she says, her voice muffled by my chest.
"Your last name literally means 'little blue tree' so if you think that 'little blue' is a dumb ass nickname you should consider telling your father that he has a dumb ass last name"
"Okay but..."
"But what?" I laugh lightly resting my chin on the top of her head.
"Shut up"
"Teresa, are smelling me?" I ask after a few seconds of hearing her sniffing.
"Aston, are you in my business?"
"You're hungry, aren't you? Let's go get something to eat" she smiles at me as she pulls away from my chest.
"What are we cooking?" I ask stretching my hands over my head.
"Nothing, we're going to get food on the road," she says putting the blender in the sink.
"It's midnight T" I yawn looking at my watch.
"Tell that to your grumbling stomach" she smirks at me walking over to the staircase.
"You packed up a lot of stuff while I was gone" I grumble as I walk behind her into the half-empty living room.
"Yeah Alia, Aria, Aurora, Emily, and Valentina-Rosa came over and we did all that" she smiles proudly as she walks by one of the boxes.
"You do know that we have to settle on a house before we can actually move outright?" I ask her taking my key off the couch.
"Yes, I know but all the houses are so pretty" she whines picking up one of the three gift bags.
"I know, you've been saying that but our lease ends at the end of next month and we're already at the end of this month so you have to decide which of the houses you think is the 'prettiest'" I sit on the arm of the couch as she looks through the gift bag in her hand.
"I'm working on it, trust me, I'll get it done I promise" she lifts her eyes from the bag for a quick second and flashes me a sweet smile.
By that, she means that she means that she will ask Alia, Aria, Aurora, Emily, and Valentina-Rosa to follow her to all the properties and tell her which ones they think look best.
Women don't know how to make a decision on their own and if you make it for them, they'll say you're stupid because they don't think men are ever right.
I will never be able to understand them.
"You got me this didn't you?" she asks lifting the box that holds the Cartier tennis bracelet.
"Yes, but you weren't supposed to see it yet" I roll my eyes.
"Well, you should've put it somewhere I wouldn't see it" she shrugs.
"Teresa, you see everything, there is no way I can hide anything at all from you" I roll my eyes again.
"Good. And I love the bracelet, thank you" she says planting a chaste kiss on my lips.
"Come on, let's go before you die from hunger" I shake my head opening the door for her.
"You didn't even tell me I was welcome"
"I didn't give you anything Teresa, you took it out yourself"
"You're so annoying"
"Just shut up and go Teresa"
"You know, I think I need a new car" she hums as we walk out in the night air.
"What is wrong with the one you have now? Does it need an oil change or something?" I ask confused as I close the door.
"No Aston it doesn't need an oil change, I learned how to do that; will you ever stop holding that over my head" she rolls her eyes and I shake my head 'no'.
"I just want a new car because I'm tired of driving this one. I think I want a G-Wagon"
Lord give me the strength to deal with this woman.
***********************************
a/n: I think I want an Aston, he's the best.
Anyways, did you guys like this chapter? I just thought that it was a good idea to show what was going on in the lives of the other characters.
Thank you for reading though, please vote, comment and share.
Glossary:
Watashi no ai – my love.
Word Count: 3455.