To-Do List – Number Three: If Given a Choice, Go to Heaven, Lex
I felt the wind running through my hair, as my bloodcurdling scream echoed around the cliff and rang in my ears. I wasn’t falling, nor was I wet, or hurt, was I dead? I didn’t dare open my eyes. What was going on? Maybe God was wondering where to put me. Hell or Heaven? “God,” I shouted, face towards the sky, eyes closed tightly. I was too scared to open my eyes, what if I opened them and my eyes were burned in the sockets? It happened to Pamela in Supernatural. If I was dead, I still wanted to be able to see, and if I wasn’t well – again vision would be needed. “Please, don’t kill me, I love you, I mean I totally believe that you exist, I swear. I love Darcy, she’s like my mom. I know she can be a bit too much but I mean they are amazing, like, at least she didn’t kick me outta the house after Cal. Dustin is great, I mean he’s the brother I’ve always wanted. Dustin can be a pain but it’s okay, I’m okay with it. And well Noah’s just the sweetheart,” I said honestly. I ranted not breathing so it all sounded jumbled up and like one big word together. “I’m sorry, God, I know I didn’t believe you existed but seriously now I do!”
I heard someone say something but I wasn’t paying attention. I didn’t feel cold or warm. “I think I should be falling now, I mean isn’t gravity supposed to kick in and drop me down to my death? You know, gravity? It pulls you down, so you don’t go flying around like you would if you were on the moon? Um . . . God?” I opened one eye and realized my hand was being held by a guy. Not just some random guy, it was Shane. Not. Again. I thought I had enough of him.
He pulled me swiftly onto the ground and I sighed. “Uh thanks,” I muttered.
“No problem,” he smirked cockily, shoving his hands into his pockets. His brown hair was tousled, as usual. His chocolate eyes held a glint, but now that I was this close, they looked bizarrely familiar. I mentally shook my head, not really bothered by it. Maybe it was just me being confused. He was taller than me by a good four-five inches and as much as his scent around me was mouth-watering his cocky grin pissed me off.
I checked to make sure everything was in my hand and I sighed, as my phone rang.
“Darcy,” I sighed exasperatedly.
“Don’t use that tone of voice with me young lady,” she scolded. I ran a hand through my hair in irritation. “Get home this instant,” she shouted.
I sighed. “Yes, okay, I’m coming, it’ll take me awhile I need to catch the bus,”
“Dustin is picking you up,” she said.
“But –”I just didn’t want to be driven home, the longer it took to get home the better.
“No, ifs, ands, or buts,” she cut me off. Her voice rose so that I was holding my phone a few inches away. “He’ll be there,” she said in an orderly fashion and disconnected the call. I sighed and stuffed my phone in my pocket well then, no say in the matter huh? I looked at all of my things, feeling like something was missing. But I had no time to think about what was missing I had to leave. So without even a backwards glance to Shane I ran back to ‘La, La, Shh…’ and got there exactly when Dustin drove up the curb.
Nobody knew about this cliff. I found it during the summer a few years ago. It was nice and calming. So sometimes I’d read, draw or just sit and look at the waves crash onto the crazy rocks and think. It felt good to have a peace of mind, with no one barking at me to do something.
I got home and dumped my stuff in my room, changed my clothes and ran down the steps. Darcy, was slim and fit, her sapphire blue eyes were piercing me with hate, her blonde hair was up in a ponytail. Her arms were crossed over her chest, she was wearing a pair of gray sweat pants and black hoodie. She was really fit for a woman in her mid-thirties, she was a yoga instructor at the local gym. She was tapping her foot. Her voice went up an octave. “I don’t have all day,” You know, it’s weird, I get upset with Darcy, but I don’t blame her. Maybe a part of me agrees with her. Maybe I screw things up. I don’t know. I turned four and Jamie and Liz died, and now Cal dies. I don’t know maybe I’m cursed. Whatever it may be, I know that I don’t blame Darcy, she’s still, in some kind of way, mourning.
It was around twelve after I swept the floor and mopped it and did the dishes along with whatever Darcy had on her list of things to do. I finally got to start on my homework I sat down on my bed and pulled out my textbooks and opened them up. What was the page the homework was on? I pulled my bag on to my bed and dumped the contents out. I had all the contents from my dark blue Jansport backpack on my bed. I groaned in frustration. Where was my day planner? How was I supposed to do all of the chores Darcy assigned? I walked out to the hallway determined to find my day planner and knocked on the door to Dustin’s room.
“Yeah?” he called. “You can come on in,” he said to me.
“Hey, Dustin, d’you know where my day planner is?”
“That book Wren gave you for your birthday?” he asked, as he typed on his laptop. He was sitting at his desk, smiling widely at his laptop, typing rapidly while he mouthed what he wanted to say. I’d never seen him so happy, typing out whatever it was he was typing.
“Yup,” Maybe it was Jacqueline, but they never chat. He’s usually arguing with her. She liked talking on the phone. She was so tired of social media saying it was God’s way of distracting people in their ultimate goal to find enlightenment but I think she just said that because she found Facebook boring. She was weird. If only Dustin saw that.
“Nope, all I know is that you didn’t have it in your hands when you got in the car,” he shrugged. “You could’ve dropped it somewhere?” he suggested. “Maybe you left it at Laila’s?”
“Damn,” I muttered to myself. I knew what I was supposed to do for homework, that wasn’t hard. It was the ‘To-do’ lists I was more worried about. I was supposed to get everything done this weekend. I was going to die, and it was all at the fault of Shane Lawrence. “So, who are you talking to?” I wriggled my eyebrows at him leaning against the door frame.
“Nobody,” he said as a light pink hue painted his cheeks.
“Oh, right, and I totally believe you,” I pestered walking towards him to get a glimpse of this girl he was excitedly talking to.
“You should I’m your brother,” he chuckled.
I smiled looking over his shoulder. “Leah?” he closed the laptop, so I wouldn’t see their conversation.
“Aww, she sent you a heart, does Dustin like her?” I said immaturely. I really liked annoying him. It was normal for a brother and sister.
“No, I don’t, I have a girlfriend,” he gave me a look.
“Yeah, well, you should break up with her,” I grumbled. “Has she even talked to you today?”
“No, but that’s ‘cause she’s busy with dance practice,” he said annoyed as he mussed around with his hair. I could tell a part of him was apprehensive and believed what I said about Jacqueline.
“Dustin, have you ever seen her dance before? Jacqueline doesn’t dance, she has two left feet, she’s lying to you!” I said unable to help my protective side. I loved this guy, but he really pissed me off when he didn’t listen to me.
“Lexi, you gotta stop saying shit like this, it’s rude,”
“So you’ll believe her, but not me? Your sister?” I questioned upset.
“We’re not even blood related,” he grumbled sullenly. “That, doesn’t make you my sister,” he glared.
My heart quenched in my chest and a part of me felt hurt, like he’d just kicked me in the stomach. I turned around and walked out of his room and went towards mine. “Thanks Dustin,” I muttered. “Now I know how you feel about me,” My eyes blurred, wet with tears and a part of me angrily yelled at myself for letting his words get to me. I didn’t cry. I never cried. The last time I cried was when Cal passed so about two years ago.
I heard him clamber after me. “No, wait Lexi, I didn’t mean it,” he grabbed my wrist before I walked into my room. “You’re my sister of course I care about you, but you have to stop saying those things about Jacqueline,” he said. His nose scrunched up, displaying his disapproval of my behaviour.
“It’s the truth,” I deadpanned. “I’m just looking out for you, Dustin. She thinks you’re always going to be there for her, so she uses you so that she get things she wants from other guys,” I clarified.
“I don’t believe you,” he grumbled, though a part of him seemed wary.
“Just see for yourself, okay?” I smiled at him and walked into my room, closed the door and sat on my bed wondering where in God’s name my beloved day planner was? The feeling of nakedness clouded me. Hopefully, it wasn’t being treated poorly or lying in a puddle somewhere. I hoped I found it soon.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed, send some love <3 xoxo