AND WHEN I GOT HOME,
BEFORE I SAID 'AMEN,'
ASKING GOD IF HE, COULD
PLAY IT AGAIN!
"HE WHAT?!"
i shouted in my tour bus as peyton and i looked at each other with both confusion and panic written on our faces.
"he cut both of our contracts."kendall's voice was quiet, and my eyes were bugging out of my head.
"griffin cant do that."i looked over a peyton, and the panic was evident, "i was guaranteed two albums. he can't just drop me like i am nothing."
"let me see what i can do."peyton grumbled, obviously pissed off at this situation, before storming off.
"so he cut you guy's tour and now you boys have to go home?"i asked and logan nodded, "yep."
"we leave tomorrow."carlos was glum, and i was starting to get a migraine from all of this.
"there is no way i'm going back to minnesota."i muttered, knowing i couldn't deal with both of my parents, i glanced up, "nothing against you four."
"we've gotta go, gotta finish packing."the boys told me before we signed off, and abby came bursting onto the bus.
"he can't do that can he?"abby asked, and peyton came walking out with a small frown, but not disappointed look on her face.
"he can and he did."peyton announced before i collapsed onto the couch we had, feeling crushed beyond belief.
"do you want to hear the good news?"peyton asked, rubbing my back.
"how the hell could there be any good news to come out of this?"my voice cracked, and peyton pulled me into a side hug.
"we have a meeting next week to see if another record label will sign you."her voice was soft, and my head shot up in shock.
"how?"i questioned, seeing abby with the same look, and peyton had a small smile spread across her lips.
"after shouldve said no became a big hit, i had record companies begging to have you sign with them, and i declined because you were already in a contract."peyton had started, "they told me to call them if anything had ever changed."
"so after i finished on my call with gustavo,"peyton paused, "who by the way is NOT happy about this."
"i called them. and a label called republic records wants to meet with you next week to talk about a record deal."peyton finished, and i nodded, with her wiping away my tears.
"don't let this destroy you. because you are so much better than them."peyton told me, and abby wrapped me in a tight hug.
"i am gonna stick with you through this, and everything else. i promise you."abby whispered, and i broke down crying.
"it's gonna be okay."
✰
MY NEXT WEEK WAS FILLED WITH
SULKING, WRITING SONGS AND
PREPARING TO TALK WITH THE
RECORD LABEL.
i hadn't talked to the boys at all since our call, and i chalked it down to all of us being busy, and sulking.
lots, and lots of sulking.
"are you done yet?!"abby groaned, hopping onto the bus as we arrived in minnesota, the last place i wanted to be right now.
"no."i grumbled, throwing a pillow at abby, who caught it, unfazed in the slightest.
"c'mon,"abby sat on my bed, now realizing that this was the last place i wanted to be, "i can take you to go see kassie."
my head shot up, and abby had a small smile on her face, "c'mon, i'll drive."
i had quickly gotten up, and gotten dressed before i met abby outside.
"are you okay if i just go alone?"i asked abby, and she nodded with a smile.
"i'll be here waiting."she gave me a hug before i got into the rental car that peyton had gotten, and drove to the gravesite, where i had blown multiple red lights.
it was evident that nobody had gone to her gravesite in awhile and guilt hit me like a truck.
"hi kas,"i started, sitting next to her grave and pulling my knees up to my chest.
"incase you can't tell, things aren't going perfect right now, and i'm sorry if i've let you down."i went on, letting the tears flow freely.
i had finally let everything out that i had been feeling, the frustration, the anger, the sadness and the heartbreak.
"please kas, i'm begging you please give me a sign."i begged, and i waited a few moments before i got up and left to the black and red convertible.
as soon as i got buckled in, my phone started ringing and i immediately answered it.
"hello?"i questioned, and heard a laugh on peytons end.
"you're signed back with roque records."
✰
"SO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME,"
"if the boys get james back, they'll do their concert and get loads of sponsors, and if my performance for the ACM's goes well, we'll all be back?"i asked, on a video call with gustavo, kelly, the knight family, logan and carlos and gustavo nodded.
"and you'll be able to make a second album, and possibly more."gustavo promised, in hopes peyton and i would agree to it, and i looked up at peyton.
"i'm all in."i announced after a few moments, and cheers filled the air.
"great! after you finish this show you'll fly out to nashville, and you'll go from there."gustavo explained, before we soon finished the video call.
knowing that i wasn't nominated but would still be able to preform was amazing to me, and it was chosen that should've said no would be what i was singing.
the planning for the performance had been in the works within the days that we were there, and i couldn't have been more excited.
maybe this was going to change things.
✰
"NO,"
i glanced over my shoulder as i walked over to the rain water, and my band was grinning, "no, no, no, oh no."
the lights went dark before i was soaked in the water, feeling my emotions rise up.
"you should've said no! you should've gone home! you should've thought twice before you let it all go!"i sang, whipping my soaked curls around, and the crowd was screaming.
"you should've thought twice before you let it all go, you should've known the word, about what you did with her would get back to me!"i continued, "and i should've been there in the back of your mind, i shouldn't be asking myself why."
"you shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet."i sang, dropping down to my knees, letting the rain pour down on me.
"you should've said no, and baby you might still have me."i finished, as abbys fiddle finished out, and all you could hear throughout the building were cheers.
a laugh escaped my lips as the crowd continued cheering, and a wide smile grew onto my face knowing i did it, and i would be able to make my second record.
i got up, realizing i was drenched and held the microphone close to my body, laughing as this was so surreal to me.
hell even tim mcgraw was standing up, cheering for me, which i never would've expected in my wildest dreams.
this was absolutely amazing as my band and i walked off stage, and peyton wrapped me in a towel, still dripping wet.
"i did it!"i exclaimed, and she knew exactly what i meant.
"yes ashlee scott you did."
✰
IT WAS A DAY OR SO BEFORE WE
MADE IT BACK TO LA, AND IT WAS
JUST IN TIME FOR THE GUYS CONCERT.
"hey."i snuck up behind katie, making her jump before she realized it was me and attacked me in a hug.
"you did amazing!"she exclaimed, and i laughed, giving her a tight hug, "thank you bug."
a panicking kelly caught my attention as i sat at the table for awhile, and she finally dragged me away from katie.
"the boys are missing!"she whisper shouted, and my eyes bugged out of my head, "they're what?!"
"shh!"kelly covered my mouth, quickly explaining that the investors were here, and i was worried.
"are you sure they're not just fucking around somewhere or got lost backstage?"i questioned, knowing these boys all too well and she nodded.
"oh my god."i muttered, before we split up looking for them.
"ash! help!"i heard kelly yell, and the booing of the crowd, and i quickly rushed out onto the stage.
"hello everyone!"i exclaimed, and the crowd stopped booing, "the boys are having a few technical issues, so while that's going on is that okay if i play a song?"
the crowd cheered as i put my ear piece in, and i looked over at the band, mouthing 'should've said no' for them to play.
"before we start, hi everyone, my names ashlee and thank you for letting me play this song for you."i faked a smile, knowing the boys would owe me a fat explanation on to why they were late.
"let's kick it!"i shouted, and should've said no started to play.
halfway through the song, i looked at the side stage seeing the boys standing there, getting their earpieces in before i nodded towards the band to kick into famous, and it surprised me how quickly they could change into a melody.
"ladies and gentlemen, big time rush!"i announced, before they hopped on stage, and i ran off.
"i love you!"gustavo hugged me, and i noticed hawk standing there, with his mouth wide open.
"hey who's this?"i asked, nodding towards the guy who was dressed up like a butler, and he introduced himself as sebastian before i had turned my attention to the boys.
a bunch of corporation people quickly came up to gustavo, kelly and i, and i looked a little taken back before griffin came up to us, making his way to the front.
"a three record deal, worldwide tour and immediate release of big time rush's album."griffin started, and i rose an eyebrow at him.
"six record deal, worldwide tour on your upcoming record and i'll pull strings to have you preform at the grammys."griffin turned his attention to me, and my eyes bugged out of my head.
"when?"i questioned, knowing peyton had rehearsed this with me, and griffin and i were both making business points.
"whenever your next album comes out, and you're eligible to play at the grammys."griffin told me, and i nodded.
"my mansion back, my studio fully refurbished, and the dogs and ashlee want something called a sebastian."gustavo added on and griffin looked at the two of us.
"done."
"and i want you to go back to the studio right now, and write a hundred times each that i will never do this again to ashlee scott or big time rush!"kelly shouted, and griffin scurried off before the three of us cheered.
"a six record deal!"i shouted, and saw gustavo grin.
"looks like you'll be stuck with me for a good awhile ashlee scott."gustavo gave me a high five and i laughed.
"looks like i am gustavo roque."i mimicked, and we laughed before turning our attention to the boys.
the crowd was loud as the boys finished, and i cheered with them.
if you were to tell me two years ago that i'd be standing here, in hollywood california, with my four idiots that i call best friends, living out our dreams and my album quickly going up the charts, i would've laughed in your face and told you to forget about it.
it's almost so magical that you're in a bliss, but i'm stuck right here.
i looked at my boyfriend who came running off the stage, scooping me into his arms and i laughed, hugging him tightly.
"you guys did amazing!"i exclaimed, and i was peppered with kisses all over my face, feeling that butterfly effect in my stomach that i had gotten when we were younger.
it was like i was falling in love with him,
all over again.
oh. my. god.
it's over. i cannot believe it's over.
i cannot thank you all enough for your support throughout these past three years, between the bad plot points to the editing and the COUNTLESS changes in the face claims before i finally decided on taylor swift this year along with the music.
thank you SO much for 205k this is absolutely so surreal to me, and i cannot believe i just finished this at 4 am while rewatching season one.
at this current moment in time, the possibility of a second book is most likely going to happen, the ideas of books are brewing currently.
again thank you all so so so much for the love and support you've shown me and this book, and i cannot thank you enough.
until next time,
ashley <3