This is part of a double update please read chapter 65 first.
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I must admit, I can't explain
Any of these thoughts racin' through my brain
It's true
But, baby, I'm howlin' for you
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Harlow Dean
Never in my life did I think I'd be showering fully naked with a man, but here I am.
I guess Harry's more than just a man though.
He came to my house without me asking, he sat down with me and asked if was okay, he told me I was beautiful and right now, he's making it very difficult to control myself.
His back is against the wall under the water and he's got his arms around my waist holding me against him as his lips attack mine hungrily. To begin with it was a sweet, meaningful kiss however quickly it turned into something much more sensual than just a sweet innocent kiss under the warm shower water.
I felt so nervous to start with, every time we've ever been intimate I've had the lights off and right now there's not one ounce of darkness creeping into my bathroom right now. I feel so vulnerable and it's slightly terrifying, however for some reason Harry managed to get rid of every ounce of fear coursing through my veins.
He called me a golden pheasant which I found funny, I didn't realise he was so fascinated by birds to the point where he's able to list the most beautiful bird off the top of his head, but this guy seems to be full of surprises.
When he said he loves birds I almost died. Part of me thought maybe he meant it in the same way I wanted him to, but I don't think he'd know if he felt that way. Especially considering he's never been in a relationship before.
Right now that's the least of my worries, his lips on my neck is all I'm able to concentrate on, as well as his wandering hands slowly creeping down my front, dangerously low on my abdomen. My hands did the same, brushed down his muscles however when I reached his butterfly tattoo I smiled, my mind wandering to that conversation when he said he likes when I touch that tattoo.
"Harlow..." Harry pants out, pulling back from my neck only now making me realise he was grinding himself on my thigh.
"I'm scared," he admits timidly, "I don't want you to think I'm only here to have sex with you because...Harlow for the first time ever I'm not just with letting someone use me for sex and I'm scared, I don't know what to do."
I think this might be one of the first times he's said something like that to me, and it shocked me because he's doing a better job than half of the male population, and Harry hasn't even been in a relationship other than ours.
I lift my hand back up to his face, cupping his cheek like he always does with mine when he can tell I'm feeling vulnerable and scared.
"I don't think you're using me for sex. You're doing amazing at everything," I tell him, caressing his cheek with my thumb, "je suis le plus heureux quand je suis avec toi."
Harry smiles like he always does when I talk French to him and I find it funny because he doesn't understand it. Sometimes that works to my advantage, for instance when I told him a certain L-word, however in times like this I'd gladly give him the translation.
"I'm happiest when I'm with you."
Harry's cheeks tinted a sweet shade of pink and his dimples came out to play at the same time. He just looks so beautiful and I could genuinely stare into those prey green eyes of his all day.
He leaned forward, pressing out lips together whilst tugging my body against his. His fingers dug into the skin on my ass and my fingers were lacing themselves into Harrys wet hair, pulling on the roots when he started kissing the sweet spot on my neck.
In this moment, for some reason everything feels ten times more intense. It doesn't feel like we're about to have sex, it feels like something much more and i din't know if it's just the heat of the water or my feelings.
Harry started grinding his hips forward and then slipped his thigh between my legs, moving my hips with his hands.
"I don't...have a condom so maybe we shouldn't," he says, removing his hands from my hips and holding them up by his head with his eyes pinched closed.
Smiling slightly, I looked up at him with a smirk, "I'm on birth control and I'm clean too, besides I'm not gonna be having babies anytime soon." I chuckle at my own expense, perhaps inappropriate for the current situation.
"Only if you want to, I'm not-"
"Fuck, really? Like you want to do that?" He asks, easing his brows before dropping his hands back down to my chest.
I nod back shyly, but enough so he knows it is in fact a yes. Harry's eyes lit up and he let his head fall back against the tiles, sighing as the water ran down the space between us adding to the sensuality of this moment.
He dropped his head forward to rest against my forehead and then placed his hands back on my hips, guiding them to move on his thigh. "Stroke me." He pleads.
Of course, I obliged and wrapped my fingers tightly around his dick and slowly began to move them up and down. The sounds falling from Harry's lips are so beautiful and him moving my hips whilst raising his thigh is driving me fucking wild.
His breathing has become so audible and I can feel the hot breath against my neck. The water pouring down over us also makes this feel like a lucid dream I'm having, it doesn't feel like this is real at all.
"Birdy, babe I..."
"Me too." I interrupt, knowing he's feeling the same desperation as I am.
Harry gulped, dropping his thigh down and then swiftly turning us around so I now had my back to the wall. The cold contrast of the tiles against the heat of the water and our bodies have this strange, satisfying sensation but when Harry attacked my mouth whilst pinning me against the wall it felt even better.
His hands travelled down my back whilst mine he,d the back of his neck and his hair, keeping him close against me. When his hands travelled down my ass and reached the very top of my thighs he tapped and whispered; "jump."
At this point I'd do anything he asks, so immediately I jumped up and felt Harry's hands hold onto my thighs, pinning me in place against the wall under the shower.
His dick was now grinding straight against my most sensitive part and I couldn't even contain the unholy sounds falling from my lips, and neither could Harry apparently.
"You're sure? You definitely want this?" He asks, double checking that I'm certain about sharing this whole new level of intimacy, to which I nod.
"Yeah," I pant out, "with you I do."
Harry let out a quiet moan and then delicately kissed my lips. It's a smiley kiss, one where teeth are clashing as well as tongues and it earned a few giggles from the both of us.
Then Harry positioned himself at my entrance and slowly moved his hips forward and the second he was fully inside of us we missed at a synchronised time and dropped our heads forward, pressing our foreheads together.
"My god," Harry pants, "it's like you were fucking made for me."
This all feels so intense and I'm not sure whether it's because of the atmosphere, because of the no condom situation, because I've never been fully naked with him under the light or because I'm literally in love with him...
I'm in love with Harry bloody Styles, god help me.
Gripping his hair, I moan at the unexpected feeling of him moving his hips, "Harry I lo-"
"Love how this feels? Me too. I didn't know not fucking with a condom made this much of a difference." He groans, cutting me off completely before diving back in to attack my lips.
Just when I thought I had the confidence to say it...
Anyway, with a face turning red I nodded back, dropping my head to his shoulder as he thrusts up into me and creates the right amount of friction in the right place.
Everything feels so much more...intense and I can't put my finger on why. He feels different, a good different... and I don't think it's because of the lack of condom.
"I'm fucking crazy about you." He moans with his eyes closed and head thrown back.
My heart feels like it's spinning.
"Crazy about you-shit, crazy about you too Harry." I rush out in agreement, letting my own moans fall from my lips the second I opened my mouth,
We're both so vulnerable and open right now, this is the pinnacle of intimacy for the both of us. The slightest touch from Harry has my skin tingling and every sense and emotion has been heightened since the very second I dropped my dressing gown to the floor.
My legs are wrapped tightly around him, however Harry's hand slid down my thighs and reached behind his back to push my legs closer, holding him tighter against me. It feels like matter how close we are, it doesn't feel close enough so I love that Harry apparently felt that way too.
That feeling in the pit of my stomach signalling that all hell is close to breaking loose has begun appearing and my composure has started to deteriorate. Usually this never happens but everything just feels so intense and Harrys thrusting right into the right places, his lips feel so amazing and listening to him audibly get lost in the pleasure is music to my ears.
"Harry, this feels..."
"Feels so different, it feels...fuck! I don't know birdy, you're killing me." He pants, tipping his head back to allow the water to flow over his face.
He looks like those guys in the Calvin Klein adverts and the strangest part is, Harry is a real human being...I think.
I hope.
His arms are now wrapped around my waist and his head is resting on my shoulder. He's holding me so tightly and so closely that this feels like a hug, a very sexual hug. I tilted my head so it was resting on top of his and wrapped my arms backs round his neck to hold him closely too.
I feel like crying a river of happy tears right now.
Also with each thrust of his it adds to the tension building in my abdomen and I can tell I won't last much longer, unfortunately.
"Harry..." I whine, struggling to find words to say about how I'm currently feeling.
"Baby, I'm sorry...don't think I'm gonna last." He groans.
I shake my head, swallowing and wiping water from my eyes and his, "it's fine, me too,.. fuck!"
The second Harry kissed my neck it felt like I had stepped into heaven, and my orgasm hasn't even hit me yet. I've never felt like this before and I never want to stop feeling like this, yet I desperately want to reach that high with him.
"Birdy I mean it, like really don't think I'm gonna last," he warns, sounding completely baffled, "you're so perfect in every way, never should've been hiding yourself from me."
He kissed my shoulder delicately and that gesture alone had my heart fluttering so much that I thought I was about to take a heart attack. The fact Harry was worried about not knowing that he was doing baffles me, because even in moments like this he's the sweetest person ever to me.
Some of the other times we've had sex have been intense, but they're only been intense physically. This feels more emotionally intense and I feel so emotionally connected to him. I've not had slow, intimate sex in so long because with Owen it was just him using me to get off so this feels so new, yet so amazing.
Harry brought his thumb up to his mouth and sucked it for a brief second, biting down and mumbling out a few unholy words before he places it against my clit. The second he does that I'm whining out like a fucking dog because he's been creating friction there since we started and now I feel like I could bloody pass out.
"Oh my god, Harry I...Christ." I moan, tugging on the routes of his wet hair.
"You're so perfect birdy, a real work of art you know that?"
I didn't even have time to process what he just said when my orgasm came and hit me out of nowhere. My legs were trembling and I lost complete control of my body. The whines and moans coming from my mouth were completely out with my control and the waves of a deathly amount of pleasure were crashing over me so violently.
I unhooked my legs from around harrys waist, not having the strength to keep them there however Harry held me steady so I didn't tumble over and continued riding me through the most intense orgasm of my life whilst whispering sweet words into my ear.
By the time my orgasm was over with, I was completely and utterly wrecked and Harry's composure seemed to be leaving a little bit more each second. His head is thrown back and his eyes rolled to the back of his head with his mouth open, such a picturesque sight.
"Don't wanna finish inside of you...fuck Harlow, that was so beautiful" he groans ti which I just nod,
I'm not even standing on my own, I've got Harry holding me up whilst he fucks into me slowly with whines of his own.
However suddenly he's pulling himself out of me and has grabbed my hand to hold, squeezing it so tightly whilst he wraps his other hand around his length and pumps it quickly. His lips quickly clashed with mine and Harry groaned so loudly into my mouth that it must've hurt his vocal chords.
Harry's left panting, gasping for air as he's standing under the flow of the water with his hand still holding mines so tightly as he tries to bring himself back down to planet earth for a second.
"You okay birdy?" He asks, squeezing my hand just once.
I nod my head, standing up from leaning against the wall however almost losing my balance until Harry placed his arm around me to help me steady myself. He chuckled slightly, moving a strand of hair pressed to my forehead with the water back behind my ear.
"I've got no words," he chuckles, "no words except from I'm fucking obsessed with you."
I smiled, "that was...pfft I don't even know."
Harry nods in agreement, wrapping his arms around me so we're stood in a hug under the warm shower water and this hug feels like it could solve every ounce of hurt in my world. This hug is different to any other hug I've ever had.
Harry turned to the side, staring at the glass pane to my left and he drew a heart in the dogged up glass with his finger before looking down at me with a smile. It's exactly what he did that night in the club bathroom and it made me smile.
So in reaction to that I wrote 'H+H' inside of the heart like I did that night too and I watched as Harry's smile grew the second I wrote the first H.
"My girl." He smirks, kissing the top of my head.
I'm in so deep with this man it hurts.
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I've missed you all this week, thanks for the patience<3
Also don't take these soft moments for granted, it'll soon be time to get the tissue boxes out again:)
Love you all and thanks for the support, this book is growing so fast I could cry.
Stay safe xoxo