Where I Am Without You [L.S]

By Xanadu19

390K 9.6K 6.6K

Harry Styles has spent three years without Louis Tomlinson. Harry has never been able to move on from the one... More

Authors Note
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty One
Chapter Twenty Two
Chapter Twenty Three
Chapter Twenty Four
Chapter Twenty Five
Chapter Twenty Six
Chapter Twenty Seven
Chapter Twenty Eight
Chapter Twenty Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty One
Chapter Thirty Two
Chapter Thirty Three
Chapter Thirty Four
Chapter Thirty Five
Chapter Thirty Six
Chapter Thirty Seven
Chapter Thirty Eight
Chapter Thirty Nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty One
Chapter Forty Two
Chapter Forty Three
Chapter Forty Four
Chapter Forty Five
Chapter Forty Six
Chapter Forty Seven
Chapter Forty Eight
Chapter Forty Nine
Epilogue
Update !!
!!

Chapter Fifty

4.6K 116 70
By Xanadu19

A/N Here it is !! The last chapter !! This was such a fun story to write, especially for my first ever fan fic though now after having finished this a few months ago I'm really excited to be working on some other fics !! Thank you every one of you who has given this story a chance and for all the comments and votes !!

Epilogue will be posted tmrw !!

"Are you sure those candles arrived yet love?" Harry calls out to Louis from their master bedroom whilst pulling on the silk black shirt.

            "Yeah, I put em on the counter this morning. Think Gigi grabbed them when they arrived earlier though."

"Told you we should have hidden them." He smirks despite being alone, his reflection the sole witness.

            "Give her a break, she's pregnant and I won't be getting in the way of a pregnant woman's wants and needs." Louis' voice drifts through from the bedroom.

With one final sweep over his appearance in the mirror he steps out from the bathroom, eyes drifting on instinct towards where Louis stands, silhouetted by the window in the fading evening light.

"You," He starts, walking forward till he's pressed against Louis' back, leaning down to press a lingering kiss to the fabric covering his shoulder, "Look stunning."

            "A man can only try." Louis replies as he tilts his head to the side and kisses him feverishly.

"I'll have you know," Harry claims between breathes, "That I didn't just spend the better part of twenty minutes in the bathroom only for you to ruffle up my look the moment I stepped out."

            "Poor baby." Is Louis' only mocking reply before he turns to kiss him properly. Harry can feel the smile on his lips, taste it with every breathless trace of their lips.

"You're the devil Louis Tomlinson." Harry laughs, pulling away only far enough that he can rest his forehead against Louis. Relishing in merely breathing him in, holding him before him and knowing he'll have this feeling forever and day more.

            "Alright," Louis says, sneakily maneuvering so that he can claim his lips briefly once more, "We have guests waiting downstairs."

He huffs in reply, watching as Louis stalks away from him towards the door. "Nice of you to remember that little fact." There's no bite to his words, there never is when it comes to his Louis.

They make their way downstairs together, hand in hand. Having spent so long believing he'd never have this feeling again, he savors each moment as he allows Louis to lead the two of them through what is now their house and out into the open yard. Surprisingly, the sun is shinning today. The yard bathed in golden light, everyone they hold dear perched somewhere before them.

Mitch, Sarah, Ny and each of Zayn's sisters stand off to the left, on the far edge of the spacious deck enraptured in conversation with Lottie, Michael, Paul and Niall. In front of him he spots his mum and the older of Louis' twin sisters smiling and laughing with one another. Zayn, with a heavily pregnant Gigi wrapped around his arm sport dazzling smiles whilst talking with Niall and Liam's parents, a young Bear clings to his grandparent's legs. Maya and Liam talk quietly to themselves, seated on the reclining chairs on the deck. Sandy and his family are wrapped up talking with Jeff, Glenne and Rebecca, Amanda and Zayn's parents wandering back towards them laden with several loaded glasses between them.

Gemma eyes Louis and him and peels away from where she'd been standing, Ernest tucked securely on her hip while Doris squeals excitedly at the sight of Louis. The older man barely has enough warning to scope down and open his arms before he's enveloped by the young child. Louis laughs into her neck, lifting her from the ground and holding her closely to him.

He feels complete. The sight of people he adores cast around him in a place that belongs to all of them. Each of the people here today responsible in some way in aiding him become the person he is today. Regardless of the size of that impact, he's grateful for them all, grateful that he can stand here today as someone still so young and know he's found his place in the world. That he's found something he knows he'll have forever even as young as he is. It's more than just his story that's led them all here, it's a combination of fate, of sacrifice and tireless hard work, of uncertainty and victory, of soaring highs and lows and everything else in between. But their here. And they've made it.

"Lost you there for a second." He registers Gemma say to him, a quiet knowing smile alight.

            "Sorry, got stuck in my own head."

"Figured." Gemma smiles back at him, Ernest beaming towards him.

            "And how are you mister?" He directs towards Ernest who reaches out for him. Despite the fact he's now five years old, Harry still eagerly takes him from Gemma. "Excited to be back at school?"

Ernest nods at him eagerly and begins recounting all the wonderous tales he's had over the last few weeks. Harry can't get enough of hearing how he talks, excitement bubbling over in each one of his words, eyes bright and curious and he gestures wildly with each sentence. He's not sure how long he stands there with Ernest settled on his hip when he realises Gemma and Louis have gone silent around him. Peeling his eyes away from Ernest how seems to notice the sudden quiet too, he glances between his sister and partner. "What?" He laughs.

"You two are going to make the best dads." Gemma blurts out in all serious. He didn't think it were possible for his smile to grow larger but it does after hearing those words. He snaps his eyes across to Louis but the blue eyes he adores so much are already focused on him.

Neither of them has time to respond before the distinct sound of chinking glass echoes around the yard. The chatter dies out at the sound, heads turning towards the source.

"Alright, let's get on with these speeches so we can eat!" Niall's father Bobby calls and everyone laughs though begins migrating towards the large outdoor table which has been beautifully arranged by several of the people here.

Placing Ernest down in a chair next to Lottie he sees Louis slightly further down, Anne close to him and a free seat between her and Louis. Harry makes his way over to them both, settling in just as Niall takes a seat to Louis' right, Liam and Zayn completing the spaces further down. The five of them nearing the end of another adventure.

"Now, tissues have been provided and there is no shame in any tears shed alright!" Paul addresses them all which is met with ruckus laughter up and down the table. "I've done this all before, trust me. Right! Rebecca, I believe you're our first spokesperson."

Paul sits down at beside Jeff and Glenne as Rebecca smiles and stands. Rebecca's speech makes everyone smile, she's genuine and as she retells several highlight moments from the tour they all begin to cast themselves back into what the past few months of their lives have brought upon them. He reaches for Louis' hand the moment she starts speaking and neither of them move to change anything as she eventually raises her glass and takes a seat once more. The process through Mitch and Sandy alike, though he does find himself by the end of Sandy's speech wishing he could dive under the table never to resurface as several moments from tours long past are brought back to life. Mitch is charismatic in the way he speaks, offering a more civil toast to them all at the end of his speech.

Everything truly crumples down when his mum stands, champagne glass clutched in her left hand.

"Alright, I'll make this parental spiel short I promise." Anne starts with a smile. "I don't quite know how to thank each and every one of you for what you've done for my five boys here. No matter what we're faced with, from organizing this mammoth task to actually getting it to function somewhat smoothly. Operational perhaps at best." They each laugh at that. "Over the years I've been witness to a lot of what happens backstage and I know none of it happens without hours and hours of nonstop dedication and hard work. It's no easy task keeping these five renegades under management, but thanks to you all these past ten years have gone out with a bang." His mum addresses to the rest of the table before turning slowly to look at each of the five of them, eyes watery. "To my boys, to our dear five boys who have changed the lives of every one of us here today, I, we, are so, so endlessly proud of you. You began this as teenagers and you sit here together as grown men. With a wealth of knowledge and experiences, some which I never want to hear," More laughter, "You all are responsible for changing millions of lives, for living your lives in a way which goes beyond what most people ever imagine. I've watched the way you've all grown and matured, and despite everything thrown at you all, you're still sat here today. Strong. And resilient. From every parent and family member here, whether they're sat at this table here or looking down from above, we love you boys, and we are so proud."

Louis hand in his is an anchor, he knows it's the same for him too. All five of them allow the tears gathering in their eyes to show. They've been through too much to let simple tears be what embarrasses them now, especially in a moment as precious as this.

Zayn abruptly stand up next, barely giving anyone time to recover from Anne's moment before they're gearing up for the next.

"What can I possibly say to four lads who I've seen and experienced things with I could never have dreamed. Never could I have thought of my life turning out anything like this and I know it's been a bumpy ride, that we've each had our moments but I'm so fucking proud to call you all my brothers. We may of all had our times spent at the others throats, bone tired and barely functioning but playing Madison Square Garden, performing in front of tens of thousands, writing in the wee hours of the morning and life on the tour bus would blow the mind of young me. I know you all had to deal with me leaving and all the shit that came with it, but I'll never stop being grateful that the four boys I met backstage rose with me to the stars. I love you guys, always."

            "Fuck, Zayn!" Niall cries out, tears sliding down his checks and they all let out a strained laugh.

"Gotta follow on from that somehow, shit alright." Liam says next, standing and bracing his hands down on the table, eyes misted over. "Young ones cover your ears here. But fuck. We fucking did it." The table bursts into emotional laughter again, the usual passiveness of Liam's persona slipping away as they grin at one another. "Here we are, another tour over but lads, this one was something special. There were moments at the end of the first time round when I truly thought we'd never get back here, but I'm so glad we did. You know, there's something truly remarkable about five, somewhat unruly, defiantly underprepared teenagers coming together trying to make it in a business they know nothing about. We've had some steep learning curves, some pretty shit moments but standing up there on that stage with you lot the past couple of months made it all worth it. I know that as long as I live I'll not forget a second of performing up there with you all. To everyone here working behind the scenes, the fuck someone knew what they doing." The far end of the table is noticeably louder in their cheers than the rest of the table and everyone else raises their glasses towards their management team. "To you wonderful people who made up our backing band, One Direction 2.0 we could not have done this without you so thank you for everything. Touring with us lot mustn't be a walk in the park. But I guess I really just want to say once again to everyone here, that my life changed because of you all and I wouldn't change it for the world."

"Speeches," Niall starts with as in the process of standing, "It's always during the dam speeches where the water works come out." He smiles though those are certainly tears still tracking down his face though Niall makes no move to brush them off. He's vaguely aware that his own face is now streaked with tear tracks. "You five know exactly how much I love ya, but I'll say this, I'm with Liam that I wouldn't change this for the world. We haven't been an easy lot and there's been times I've wanted to bash my head in, but you're all my brothers and I wouldn't dream of having gone on this adventure with any others. To you lot," Niall says gesturing down towards their managers, "I have no clue how you put up with us but thank god you did because we'd be lost without ya. To all you friends and family here, I'm so sorry you've been subjected to our antics this past decade. But cheers for sticking it out this far. To whatever comes next I hope it racks up to be half as good as the last decade, so heres facing the wolves and to the rest of our lives lads."

A loud cheer signals the end of Niall's turn, glasses raising into the air when he realises it's only him and Louis left.

"Ten years. Ten. Fucking. Years." Louis eventually starts. "I don't want to say too much, I think most of it has already been said. But there is one thing, and that's no matter what we've all got facing us to come, you're my family. You've given me the best years of my life, a level of happiness I can't picture ever living without again and a place to call home. I always love you, but especially today."

For the first time since the speeches began he untangles his hand from Louis, making for his own glass as he waits for the noise to settle once more.

"You know we so often in interviews get asked what's been a highlight career moment and usually when that gets asked you say whatever comes to mind. With so many different scenarios we've all had over the years it often feels like you have an arsenal at your disposal to answer that but now I think I finally have my one proper answer. A little over ten years ago, a woman by the name of Johanna Deakin grabbed the five of us together, when we barely all remembered what the other looked like, sat us on what were some fairly dingy steps and made us smile for or first photo together. Now I don't know how many teenagers have their worlds flipped upside down like we did since that photo was taken, but I'll never forget sitting there scared out of my mind wondering what was gonna happen next. Now I know the fans mean something else when they say from the bottom of the stairs to the top of the world, but lads," He pauses glancing at each of them, "You've been my brothers, and the love of my life," He interjects before Louis can protest at the statement, "From the moment we sat together on those steps that night in the middle of July. Because where I would be without you all is a place I don't want to imagine. I don't know how we pulled off half the shit we've done, but we've made it here today somehow. And what makes up that somehow means everything to me."


*Cries in a cool way

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