Chapter 59: Squirt
Christopher
I ran out after Tracy and managed to grab her wrist before she hit the stairs. She turned on her brown boots and yanked out of my hold. The murderous glare she sent my way prompted me to use the cliché term to pacify her at least.
"I can explain."
"What do you take me for, rat face? Am I joke to you? Am I some plaything to toy with and toss out when you find something better? Answer me!" she screamed at me to which I exhaled in relief and sniggered a little.
"Are you sure that laugh is enough?" she seethed with wide eyes, "I can drop another punch line if you want."
"Babe, calm down. I'm just happy you're giving me a scolding rather than going radio silent on me."
It was wrong to compare her to Rose but Rose would've shut me out by now and chosen to assume the worst of me. I've made a lot of bad decisions in life but choosing Tracy was certainly not one of them.
"Happy? Is that what you feel about leaving in a fucking week!?" she spat and it took me a second to collect myself.
"Did you just curse at me?"
"Don't you dare tease me for it, you jerk." she said but I was already smiling, "I'm going through so much to give a damn right now and I'm trying to stay angry with you so wipe that stupid smile off your face!"
"Hey," I spoke softly, "you know you can talk to me about anything. What is it? This is not just about me leaving?"
I wanted to hold her hands to calm her down and calm me down as well, but I was afraid of getting rejected again. It terrified me to have her pull out of my grasp and have a sense of an incoming shipwreck.
Tracy sighed and bit on her lower lip, and although innocent, she managed to distract my senses for a moment.
"I've been getting some hate comments and just people calling my music trash. I stumbled on some tweets that also made insensitive jokes about me and they won't get out of my head no matter how hard I try to push them out."
"Those little shits." I ran a hand into my hair and told her, "If I could hunt them down and make sure you never come across shits like that again, I would. But it doesn't work that way. Like it or not, more hate would come your way even if you make it to the very top. At the end of the day, they're just words meant to test you and to put you down. You've come this far, tommy and for my sake and the sake of everyone that love you and what you do, you can't let these people get to you.
You'll come to realize that there are fucked up people out there just waiting to drop a thumps down on your music and the moment you build a self esteem that can't be shaken, you'll become unstoppable. This is one major downside of fame and it's up to you to show them you're bigger than them and their negativity put together. Block anyone dropping hate messages in your DM if you have to and just ignore the dumb comments. Just anything to get away from their bad vibes to protect your mental health."
If in any way you feel pained and defeated, center all that anger into your music in a positive way. You've proved a lot of people wrong with your successful debut but now, your focus should be on putting yourself first and proving yourself right. And while you're at it, I want you to know that I strongly believe in you, babe. I do."
It took a moment for it to sink in and with the look on her face, she got the message.
"I hate you." she breathed, "I really do."
"And why is that?" I asked smugly and finally took her hands in my grasp and thankfully, she didn't back away this time.
"You're out here giving me an advice as if everything is fine between us at this point. Were you even planning to tell me? I can't have you leave, Chris. I want you around or I might not survive this alone."
My heart ached at the crease on her forehead and I reached out to wipe away her tear before pressing my lips on her furrow.
"I love you. I really do."
I had nothing else to say. I loved Tracy and none of this was a game... in the unliteral sense.
"Then stay!"
"You heard me in there, Tracy. I love you but I... I can't."
"That solves it then." she muttered and the pain was evident in her eyes.
Tracy made for the stairs again and my emotions ran wild. Hell, I'd be glad if she slapped me across the face for keeping it all away from her before now. She wasn't the type to go physical but anything to ease the tightening in my chest.
"Tracy, wait!"
She halted in her steps and looked to me with hopeful eyes.
"Plan on heading back on foot or what?" I quizzed and she heaved and looked away.
"Um..." I cleared my throat awkwardly. "I'll have Adam take you. Just wait."
Tracy nodded and I strode back to the lounge to request a thirty minutes to-and-fro drive from the only neutral person in the group. The others would be way into hysterics to get behind the wheel.
~~~
Tracy
I was sat on the blue rug with my legs spread out in front of me and body limp.
"Will you quit looking so lifeless?" she snapped, "What's wrong with you?"
I shifted my line of vision to my mom reclined on the sofa and looked away again, uninterested. Of course she knew what was wrong with me. Her friend, Aunty Lydia had visited to talk to her about the Thompsons departure.
All I did since leaving the center was talk less and keep a stoic face. I was sad and not particularly unhappy about the situation. I felt bad for not backing Christopher up in studying abroad whereas I got his full support in everything I wanted. Frankly, I admit I was in denial. The same kind of denial I opted for when people said my father was dead.
Just then, I got on my fours and pulled myself up before staggering back to my room which was in an even messier state now. I paid it no attention as I went to faceplant the bed and stayed like that for a while before feeling around blindly for my phone. When I caught it, I turned over and turned it on. Ten new messages, it read, all from Christopher.
I wanted space from him and everyone, but heaven knew I didn't mean it. Our guy, however, was being a dumb gentleman by keeping his distance for the past four days. He only sent mountains of text messages everyday since Saturday which I read but never replied.
Christopher's texts were full of teases about me pretending to stay mad at him, or his critics about a song of mine he downloaded and listened to and they happened to relate to us. His messages always made me smile, he was gifted like that. Then again, they made me miss him more and I found myself slipping back to denial.
Honestly, I didn't want him staying away. I wanted him to come to his senses and tell me he wasn't leaving for London anymore. My subconscious reasoned with me on my stupidity as it found me wasting away a chance to see more of him before he left in two days. As always, I didn't bother considering the odds.
His father was the only obstacle in our way since it wasn't in Christopher's best interest to leave in the first place. From what I've gathered, Mr Thompson was an old soldier and a man of few words and it was termed suicidal to go against his words. Chioma told me Christopher was thrown a small farewell party at his place yesterday and everyone except me was there. Still, I stayed anchored to my denial even when everyone seemed to be moving on.
My mom recently suggested to me that we moved to my new house in Lagos so it doesn't remain abandoned. My brother schooled in Lagos anyway and my mom could always reapply at any hospital there, plus I had my life linked to the city now. My DLI exam at Unilag was fast approaching and I had my live concerts coming up. However, I planned to hold off on moving out until I knew for sure what Christopher's plans were. If he was staying, then I was staying at Royal till he left for any other school but Cambridge.
Reading over his new messages, I powered off my phone without replying as always. Although I was tempted to when he asked how I was fairing and my fingers started typing a reply on their own.
Soon enough, the fatigue set in and had sleep steal me away from reality.
___________
Christopher
I pulled up on the roadside and switched off the engine. I was clad in a net tank top and shorts and ready to put a stop to my girlfriend's fuckery. Getting to her doorstep, I knocked on the door impatiently and it opened a crack for Chioma's head to poke out for a peak.
"Talk some sense into her." she said and let me in.
"Where's she?"
As soon as I asked, I saw her snuggled up on the sofa with a bored look on her face.
"Tracy."
Before I could utter another word, she got up and scurried off and I hurried after her. I made it to her room before she locked me out and I latched firmly on her arm to stop her from leaving again.
"Will you stop!? I'm leaving tomorrow and you still won't talk to me?"
"You can't be serious! You're leaving?" she screeched and flicked my hand off of her.
"Who said I was making a joke out of this? My plane is touching down in London tomorrow but I have a girlfriend who doesn't give a fuck about me." I spat and we breathed heavily into the silence.
"You're leaving?"
It finally dawned on her and my countenance fell as she stared into empty space with moisten eyes just when thin line of tears streaked down her cheeks while she took unconscious steps back.
"Tracy–"
"No." she shook her head non-stop, "No, you're not leaving too. You're not leaving!"
Rushing forward, I wrapped my arms around her and she resisted my hold until her thrashes softened to weak blows to my chest and I let her cry in my embrace.
"Don't leave. Please, don't." she uttered repeatedly amidst broken sobs.
It didn't look like she would calm down anytime soon so I let her sit on the edge of the messy bed and scooted next to her to put her head on my shoulder. She stopped crying a little while later and I was glad she got to cry it out and overcome her denial.
Cambridge sounded like a good idea to anyone and it was a one time opportunity that opened doors to a number of other opportunities. From the beginning of time, I had a phobia for changing environment and it took me time to adapt. I've lived my whole life in Lagos and moving down to Ogun state had taken a toll on my social life in a good way and in a bad sense. Still, I adapted eventually.
Moving to London on the other hand, was sure to make me nostalgic and I doubt I'd love the city like my dad told me. I could always survive in the western world despite my weird phobia but I'll be damned if I travelled to other side of the globe without her.
"Come with me." I blurted and she leaned away to look me in the face.
Her swollen eyes made my heart wrench and I was tempted to put a stop to it all right there and then.
"What?"
"I said come with me, Tracy." I reiterated and clasped the side of her face.
"I can't." she pouted, "You know I can't. My whole life is here."
"I don't want to leave without you."
"Then stay." she beseeched and then looked down sullenly, "Oh, right. You can't."
I tilted her face back to me and claimed her lips in a sultry kiss. It was needy and impatient but gentle enough while I showed her just how much she meant to me. She responded to my kiss with an equal fervour while her hand glided up my chest to feel for my heartbeat and I resonated with that little gesture of commiting the effect she had on me to her memory.
Lips clashed and detached, tongues reconnecting after every relapse and I was absolutely lost in this orgasmic bliss. Every pause made to catch our breath made me wish we could rip out our lungs for the time being. It got deeper and wilder with a surge of adrenaline and all the times we laughed, cried, fought, made up and fooled around came back in a rush.
Tracy refused to back down and in fact threw herself on me in the heat of the moment. I withdrew from her lips the moment she straddled me and started grinding herself on me without shame or haste.
"Fuck. If you don't stop now, my restraint will fly out the window and I'll fuck your brains out."
Tracy paused to think it over and then reached down to pull up her top but I quickly caught the hem in time to pull it back down.
"The fuck do you think you're doing?" I asked in a ragged breath and she looked at me with puppy eyes.
"What does it look like I'm doing?"
"No." I said and turned her over to get up from the bed.
"No?"
"Yes, no. We're not fucking just to have me leave the very next day. What are you thinking?"
Her eyes slid to my groin and my hands covered it on impulse.
"Your penis tells a different story."
"What? Where did your prudery go?"
"I'm not a prude, alright? I know what sex is. Do I really have to beg for this? You were always talking about it and now you're turning me down?"
"For the right reasons, bae. You may find it hard to believe but I have some morals. I know you're only asking for it because I'm leaving."
"That's right, you're leaving tomorrow and I want you to be my first because I love you." she argued and I ran my fingers into my hair while thinking it over.
"I've wanted to fuck you for a long time now," I admitted and smirked when her throat made a bob as she swallowed, "but it won't be today. I'm so in love with you that I don't want to make any wrong move on you. I might be leaving tomorrow but I'm always going to fly back at every chance I get, fuck ticket price. You can also come over when you get a break in your schedule. Like, fuck we'll figure it out. If I make love to you now, I'll only feel like a piece of shit."
Tracy folded her arms and sulked and I moved closer to her and crouched to look her in the eyes.
"But you know..." I rasped and she held my lustful gaze, "there are many other ways to make you scream my name."
♣
Tracy
My eyes kept glancing down at his erection even when I willed them not to. The size of it made my libido come alive and I was pulsating so bad that I could sense my core getting wet. I swallowed again and pressed my thighs together to ease the pressure.
"Chioma..." I faltered at the thought of screaming his name.
"Will not bother us." he murmured while tracing his thumb over my clit, "It's more exciting when you worry about getting caught while in the moment."
My breath hiked and even though I had no experience at all nor any idea of what he intended to do, I was nothing but excited for this. If this was going to be my way of saying farewell to him, then bless him for granting my wish. I haven't thought far into the future yet about coping with the distance or how much of him I'd get to see or not see. It felt like everything I ever wanted was slowly slipping away from my grasp and I needed to have a last bite to relish my senses before it evaporated.
Christopher leaned up to kiss me again and had me pinned down on the bed without breaking contact. My hands held onto him as if to stop him from vanishing in thin air as every cell in my body came alive with our lips dancing to an unknown chaotic tune.
He drew back to lift my thighs up and pull off my pouchy shorts completely. I suddenly became self conscious but he gently opened my thighs again and trailed his fingers down my pelvis, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
"You're so beautiful, tommy." he uttered sultrily and I bit down on my lower lip in wanting.
Christopher made to remove my white lace panty as well when I stopped him with my hand on his.
"What's wrong?"
"Um.. I.. I'm obviously new at this and you've seen better. I'm just a bit... insecure."
"Tee, I won't do anything with you unless you're comfortable with it." he spoke softly, "I just want to make you feel good but I'll only touch you if you want me to. And you really shouldn't bother yourself about who I've been with. All that matters is that my dick is hard for you."
I felt a pang of guilt for mentioning his sexual escapades and it was unfair to both of us to bring it up at this precious moment.
"I'm sorry." I said and he smiled, making my heart flutter.
"Don't be. Can I take off your panty now?" he teased and I nodded timidly. "Since you're still so protective over your body, which is not a bad thing, I'll let you keep the top on."
"What does it matter?" I mumbled, "I have tiny tits anyway."
"I love your tiny tits, trust me."
"Liar."
"I do."
"You called me flat."
"Didn't say I hate it."
"You didn't have to."
"Will you stop?" he said between chuckles, "Fuck, I love you, and your tits, and your everything, and I just really want to eat your pussy out right now."
"Sorry. I ramble when I'm nervous."
"Virgins are a lot of work." he muttered and yanked my panty to the side, causing me to gasp.
"I heard that."
"And what will you do?" he asked in a sultry voice that turned me on so bad, "Kick me out?"
"I could." I moaned as he rubbed his thumb on my folds.
"Look at you being all wet and ready for me." his expression was smug and full of tease as he kept running his thumb on me, "Once upon a time... Where there's a wet pussy, there's a happy cock."
"Is that the folklore you read in kindergarten?" I rasped out between heavy breaths.
"Maybe." he smirked just as he increased his pace and my eyes fluttered shut at the delicious tingles.
"No, Tracy, open your eyes."
I opened them and stared in his glossy blue eyes as my essence spilled to the crack of my ass.
"Chris..." I groaned as I soared to the seventh heaven and without stopping what he was doing, he connected his lips to mine again.
I wanted to stay in his moment forever with him pleasuring me while feeling that peace I never felt my whole life. It was out of this world, I couldn't describe it. My love for him at that moment could not be put in words too and it was strange and yet intoxicating.
"Hold your legs for me." he said to me and got on his knee to have a good view of my ass.
I obeyed and gasped when his tongue met with my clit and I threw my head back to savour the feeling.
"Yes, please..."
This was more than I bargained for but the surplus was not in the least disappointing. Reaching down, I tugged his hair lightly and panted to the pleasure he offered at no extra cost.
is this from economics? Subbie quipped in disgust.
Oral sex was something I read about not too long ago when I stumbled on a cosmopolitan magazine in my brother's room. I wasn't the type to pick up a random rag to read and I was actually looking for comic books when I found it on his desk by mistake and decided to glance through it.
Now that I was experiencing it, I didn't find it to be repulsive at all. He flicked his tongue around my button, sucking and tugging on the folds as he fingered me till I was moaning in absolute delight.
"Use your words, Tracy."
"It feels so good." I rasped out and he went back to lapping my clit. "Don't stop."
Without warning, he slipped an additional finger in my pussy and a subtle pain set in from the stretch. Before I knew it, the soreness was gone and he was increasing his pace to which I moaned encouraging words to him.
"Yes, almost there..."
He kept on sucking and thrusting into me as I ascended to my peak. My senses came alive and centered on the ecstatic feeling till I shuddered and contracted at my orgasm, but I wasn't expecting to pee on his face.
"Oh my God! I'm so sorry." I sat up and clasped my hands over my mouth in shock.
Christopher laughed at me and smacked his lips and I looked at him in stun.
"Stop being sorry, okay?"
"But... But I just peed on your face."
"It's normal." he smirked and smacked his lips.
"I.. I peed."
"Squirt. It's a sexier release." he winked and pecked my cheek to save me out of my dilemma.
"Well... Thank you." I mumbled coyly and he laughed at me again.
"For eating you out?"
"Jerk."
Suppressing my smile, I got up and went to get a tissue box from my desk to give to him. He gave me a bright smile and I stood awkwardly as he wiped his face dry.
"Come here."
Reluctantly, I went to him and he pulled me to sit on his thighs just when I noticed his hard-on.
"You still have a boner..."
"Don't worry about it." he said and toyed with the hem of my baggy top.
"No, I can help you out. I don't know what to do exactly but you can tell me."
"I'll cool off in your bathroom later, okay? I won't be able to stop if we start shit and this is more for you than it is for me. Now tell me, how was it?"
I hesitated and then let it go at his encouraging smile.
"I've never felt that way before." I explained, smiling. "It was beautiful. I can't wait to do it again."
"Hey, hold on. Only with me around. Let's clarify that."
"You're not going to be around." I pointed out, smiling at his jealous glare.
"Put me on a fucking facetime. I don't care if I'm in the middle of my SATs."
"Okay, I hear you." I said, laughing hard till I caught him looking at me in amusement. "What?"
"I just... love you." he told me in all seriousness and I willed myself to not be sad again.
"I love you too, Chris."
We both had a moment of pure happiness before he ruined the mood when he opened his mouth and uttered a taboo.
"Y'know, your room always looks like a dump site. Ever heard of broom or laundry basket?" he remarked and I swatted his chest.
If you made it this far, you're a WAHian and I love you just for existing, don't forget that.
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