a/n: sooo i had more ideas for this story and i decided to make it a separate one. this is from my two-shots : "blush" if you've read the two, feel free to go read the third one!
hope you like this!
-jyka💕
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Up until the half of her first intern year, Miranda Bailey was shy, always taught to be respectful of those above and generous to those below.
But as she grew in the surgical industry under Richard Webber, she changed.
Her snappy, witty inside self came out of her shell, and Miranda became the stubborn, respected surgeon she is today.
Although, don't get her wrong, the precious, shy, stuttering girl she was, never left.
And for that, she was grateful. After all, underneath being a tough surgeon and a caring mother, she was also a woman.
Although, she isn't really sure if that part of her was still alive.
But it doesn't matter. She was fine. Being a surgeon and being a mother is enough for Miranda. She doesn't need that kind of drama that apparently the whole hospital had reoccuring problems with.
She will rise above.
You can't hug being a surgeon at night, Mandy. I know Tucker wasn't the one for you, so the man for you is still out there. Look for him, baby.
Elena Bailey's voice echoed in her head.
Miranda sighed and looked at her bedside clock. 4:15 AM. Her shift wasn't that early today, but she really couldn't sleep.
She debated on whether to just get up or try to sleep, and she ended up pushing the blankets off her legs and stretched before getting ready to get up.
×+×+×+×
Miranda took a deep breath and smiled. The sun has barely risen and the early morning air was making her feel calm.
Calm and collected. She has to keep calm. No matter how lonely, and empty the bed seems, she is calm, and collected. No matter how much she misses a man's touch, she is calm, and-
She felt hot liquid going down the side of her coat. "Oh shit, I'm sorry, I didn't- I'm sorry. I wasn't looking."
The short woman whipped around to see a man hurrying to wipe the unsalvagable mess on her coat. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Beautiful, apologetic brown eyes looked up at her. For a second, her breath hitched. He was handsome. His eyes shone, trying to apologize silently, and his forehead scrunched up adorably.
Miranda closed her eyes and kept her composure. A scowl colored her face.
"Well?" She asked, her voice raised. "I am simply minding my own business and here you are, spilling coffee everywhere like some blubbering fool!"
His deep voice resonated in her. "I'm so sorry. I'll buy you a new coat. I wasn't looking, I'm running late on my new job, and I'm probably getting even more late now. I'm so sorry."
Her scowl softened. "It's fine. Look where you're going next time."
She raised her hands and took off her coat, showing her thin t-shirt. She shivered. Damn, it was cold.
"Here." The man took off his jacket and slumped it on her shoulders. It's warm. Something fluttered in her stomach. "It's yours. I'm really sorry. I gotta go, I'm really late."
The man started to walk off before he stopped and took her wrist in her hand.
Miranda tried to get his hand off. "What are you-
He pulled out a pen from his bag and wrote some numbers in her hand. "That's my number, call me for your laundry. I'll pick it up, make sure it's squeaky clean."
He dropped her hand and smiled at her. God, his smile. "My name's Benjamin Warren. I go by Ben. Call me, okay?"
At that, he runs away, stopping by a trash can to throw his empty coffee cup in it.
×+×+×+×
As Miranda got home, she felt sticky and sugar-y all over. God, that Benjamin Warren must have no taste buds with that much sugar in his coffee. She rolled her eyes but smiled.
She looked at the numbers scribbled in her hand. She has been looking at it the whole walk from the park to her house. It was barely written, more of a doodle than actual numbers, though she could understand it, somewhat.
She took the numbers down and took a shower, scrubbing all of the sticky mess Benjamin Warren had spilled all over her.
After that, she went and got to Seattle Grace, where the first day of the merger was happening.
Miranda stood outside of the doors, looking at the hospital from outside. There was nothing out of the ordinary, but she could feel the difference. It was like the hospital was holding its breath.
She sighed and stepped inside.
Orange scrubs were everywhere. It made her dizzy. It was vibrant and weird and so out of place.
All these different faces, different unfamiliar faces that she was going to work with, compete with, and trust her patients with. She scrunched her nose up in disgust.
She may not go head-to-head with them, but Seattle Grace is her home, and as a hospital, they were very territorial about themselves. There has got to be some boundaries, and if they step over their lines, this merger was going down.
×+×+×+×
Miranda entered the OR for a simple appendectomy. Nothing out of the ordinary, of course, just a simple, everyday procedure.
She scrubbed in, just as the patient was going under. She sang Aretha Frankin's "Think" twice, in her head, and went inside the OR.
But she stopped in her tracks.
Beautiful brown eyes.
Even though she had only seen them once in her life, she would recognize those shining brown eyes anywhere.
"Benjamin Warren."
The man in front of her, half his face covered in his mask, turned to her. He had a normal blue scrub cap, and he was seated at the head of the patient. Anesthesiologist.
"Uhm, do I know you?" Warren asked, his brows furrowing slightly.
"Miranda Bailey. We met this morning. Via hot coffee." She raised her eyebrows, walked to the patient's side and smirked under her mask.
She looked intently at his eyes as the realization hit him. "Oh! You!"
The staff snickered. Nobody just went 'Oh! You!' on Miranda Bailey. She was a legend.
"Yes. Me!" She rolled her eyes then closed her eyes as she stepped up her stool. Silence covered the room for her routine moment, much like Shepherd's "beautiful day to save lives" mantra. She opened her eyes and looked at her scrub nurse, Bokhee. "15-blade." She reached out and took it, and began to cut.
"I didn't know you worked here." He commented as he watched her work.
"We met this morning, Dr. Warren. I would say there are a lot of things you don't know about me." Miranda smiled beneath her mask.
"Doesn't mean I don't want to know you, Dr. Bailey." She looked up at him and there's a flirty look in his eyes. There was a momentary silence where her knees shook just a bit.
Miranda cleared her throat. She looked down at the swollen appendix and continues the surgery. "Well, you're going to have to do more than bad flirting to get to know me, Dr. Warren."
Whispers echoed around the room. Miranda looked up and saw the staff whispering about. She internally sighed. She'll be the star of the gossip today, apparently.
"Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet." He winked at her.
"I definitely won't be looking forward to it."
Benjamin sighed. "You'll be missing out, then."
"I'm sure." Sarcasm dripped in her voice.
×+×+×+×
Ben pulled his mask off as the surgery finished. The OR began to empty as the the staff went out.
He looked at Miranda Bailey, the general surgeon in the case. He smiled. He didn't believe in fate or meant-to-be's but he did believe in signs. Today, he has bumped into her twice; the first time, quite literally.
That seems to be a sign.
He watched as Miranda moved in the OR, perfectly comfortable and perfectly at ease. She put her mask and gown in the trash, then grabbed the chart from beside him.
She started to move away, and exit the OR. "Wait, Dr. Bailey."
She raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"
"Uh, I just- I..." He trailed off, staring at her soft brown eyes. They're warm and he could see the emotions in them. There were bags under her eyes, just as he saw this morning. She looked tired, but confident and energetic. She was beautiful.
"Any time this year, Dr. Warren." She pursed her lips, and suddenly Ben's wanting to kiss it.
"I, uh, when can I pick up your coat? I would like to make it up for the disturbance I caused this morning." He cleared his throat.
"It's fine." Miranda shook her head, and waved a hand. "I'll give you your jacket back."
He frowned and stepped closer to her. He thought he heard her breath hitch but that can't be right, she was just cold to him. "No, no, keep it."
"I don't like to owe anyone, Benjamin Warren. I'll return it to you later."
He opened his mouth to protest but she cut him off. "If you'll excuse me, I have to go to post-op to check on my patient."
Ben was left alone in the OR, staring at the door where Miranda Bailey just left.
"Damn," he whispered. Miranda Bailey was a challenge. A challenge he was willing to take.
×+×+×+×
Miranda let out a breath as soon as she stepped away from the OR. She took off her scrub cap, and closed her eyes.
Ben's proximity to her just took her breath away. She didn't want more gossip, and she certainly didn't need a man to make her happy. Surgery was her joy.
But damn, he was a doctor, a physician, just like her. Not a surgeon, more a gas man, but she knew that was the closest thing to her job, and damn it if she thought that he understood what it means to just drop everything in the name of medicine.
It's been a while since Miranda has felt this way. She felt seen, felt as if someone wanted her.
Her eyes snapped open as she remembered her thoughts this morning. She finally felt like a woman.
A smile crept up her face. She liked him. She liked someone.
She never knew she could still do as the sad, exhausting, time-consuming divorce plagued her every night.
But as she walked through the hallways of the hospital, she sighed again, thinking how Ben Warren could never enter her life that way, or else she'll push him away too.
Miranda's had enough heartbreak. She didn't have time for those games.
×+×+×+×
"Oh, man, that Miranda Bailey really is something." Ben smiled as he told what happened to John Knox, his newest colleague in Seattle Grace-Mercy West.
Knox snorted. "Dr. Bailey? Did you know, as a resident, she used to be called, 'The Nazi'? Everyone is scared of her. She will bring you down, pointing out how she can kick your ass and come after every flaw you have if you mess up. Even Richard Webber, the Chief respects her so much."
Ben licked his lips. "Alright, that is hot."
"Seriously? You're not at all scared to get one of her speeches?"
"Speeches?" The Mercy West-er frowned. "What speeches?"
The white man laughed. "Dude, I told you, she brings you down like you're just a piece of lint at the bottom of her shoe. Her speeches are legendary. I personally loved that one where she called Sloan a whore in front of the whole hospital during that boycott thing with the nurses."
Ben frowned. "Okay, I am officially confused."
Knox laughed and slapped him on the back. "Don't worry. Just... watch out for her, man. She's a tough woman, hardcore and real headstrong. She holds this hospital together."
Ben nodded, still confused, as he walked into an OR, with a patient due for an open cholestectomy.
×+×+×+×
Another surgery, this time an open cholestectomy.
Miranda entered the OR again, seeing Benjamin Warren, Anesthesiologist, finalizing putting the patient under.
She kept quiet, ignored his "Good afternoon, Dr. Bailey" and went to the side of the patient. She went up her stool, and began her routine again, before she started cutting.
Ben kept opening up statements, and flirty questions, but she brought them down, one by one.
Miranda heard him sigh as she rejected his advances. He just picked his magazine up and kept quiet.
The OR was quiet except for the steady beating of the machines connected to her patient, and her occasional demands for different surgical instruments.
She felt as if something was missing, and she felt awful as she realized she actually despised Ben Warren just silently watching the surgery and reading his magazine. The world must be changing; she actually enjoyed someone pestering her.
"Ready to close." She said as the hours went by, and she finished the surgery. The chole went well, barring complications, and she found herself alone with him again as the staff filtered themselves out of the OR.
Miranda kept her mouth shut, but she was painfully aware of the man's every move behind her.
As she moved, taking her mask and gown off, and fixing everything she needed, she felt his eyes following her.
She ignored it, trying to keep her heart from beating painfully fast. Her hands were shaking as she went close to him to take the chart near him.
His eyes still followed her, and she couldn't bear it anymore. "Dr. Warren, do I have something on my face?"
She could tell he was caught off guard with her question, but he faced her, taking off his mask, showing his handsome, chiseled face.
"No," he shrugged, "It's just... your face is freaking adorable. I bet the rest of you is too." He ran his eyes from her face, down, down to her body.
She blushed, a shudder running through her body. "I-I... Whe-where do you get off tell-telling-
Ben smirked and stepped forward to her. "Are... are you blushing?"
Miranda made a face. She knows her face is bright red, and he can definitely see it, but it doesn't mean she had to admit it. "What, no, of course n-not."
"Did I get the hardcore, totally headstrong Dr. Miranda Bailey to blush?" Ben stepped closer to her, and she could feel her oxygen depleting.
She scoffed, looking down and stepping backwards. "No. It's-it's not... It's the, uh, the-the cold, of course." She waved a hand around, gesturing to the OR. "Y-yes. It's the cold."
He stepped forward again. She backed away, her back bumping against a moving table. She suddenly stayed put, looking up at his intense eyes, boring into her soul. "Oh, really, the cold? Not that I told you that 'your face is freaking adorable and I bet the rest of you is too'? No?"
Miranda blushed again and looked down, into his muscular chest, seen clearly through his scrubs. She blushed harder. Her voice cracked, "N-no."
Ben chuckled. "Look at me, Miranda Bailey."
Her name rolling off his tongue made her whimper. What the hell is happening? She is usually composed, a strong surgeon with a guarded composure. It's like she's back as a high school girl, with a handsome guy flirting with her then making her do all his homework.
But oh God, the way Ben was looking at her right now, he wanted her, just her. Nothing else. No underlying agenda.
Miranda looked up at him, as he commanded. He leaned down, and she closed her eyes, waiting for his lips to touch hers.
It didn't. His soft lips touched her neck, and she involuntarily moaned. Her hands came up to his shoulders, and Ben kissed his way up to her cheek. She could feel his smile on her skin. It made her shudder.
He leaned in her ear. "Can I take you out for dinner?"
Her eyes were still closed, but she hummed, agreeing to his request.
Ben chuckled as he pulled away. Her eyes fluttered open. "I'll pick you up at 8 pm, Miranda."
Her logical, tough woman persona was slowly coming back as space between them grew. "I have surgery." She turned her back to him. "So no, I can't go to dinner with you."
"Miranda..."
"No, Benjamin Warren." She felt his arms around her, and she melted yet again.
His breath tickled her ear. "Please?"
Miranda closed her eyes, trying to focus. "No."
His lips touched her ear, kissing down to her neck and to her clothed shoulder. "Please, Miranda? Let me take you to dinner."
The short woman sighed, defeated. "F-fine. I'll-
She gasped softly as his hands moved to her stomach.
Miranda shook her head as he kissed the back of her head, and let her go. She has to say, as his warmth left her, she felt cold. She missed his touch.
She turned back around to face him. He was smirking at her. "What are you looking at, Benjamin Warren?"
He smiled softly, and turned around to the exit, before he stopped. He didn't turn around to face her, but he didn't need to. "You're beautiful, Miranda Bailey."
Her breath hitched at the sincerity in his voice. Without any other words, he left the OR, leaving her breathless.