"What the hell?" Char yells again, and I jump in Andrews's tense arms.
"You are sleeping together?" he continues since we are not able to say anything.
He looks so mad, I have never seen him this enraged before. I know I have crossed a line.
"Char, I'm sorry", I start it, denying it won't help us. I don't know what he has heard about our not-so-subtle discussion and if he discovers the lie after it would be ten times worst.
"Of all people Kelsey? Did you dump Brandon for him? For him?"
His madness caught me off guard, Andrew too, he is paralyzed gawking at Char.
I strive to find the right words to tell him because whatever is going on between Andrew and me certainly isn't a romance with chocolate and roses, how do you tell your brother you were only sleeping with his friend? Sleeping isn't probably the right term, fucking is what it is. Instead of using my vibrator, I used his roommate's magic toy for pleasure.
"Charles", Andrew suddenly talks, but he is abruptly cut by Charles who has just double his madness level.
"Shut the fuck up", he shouts, and he directs his eyes again on us, fuming red, "go the hell away from her".
Andrew raises his hands and slowly takes some steps to the left, carefully as if Char is pointing a gun at him, and honestly, it is exactly how I'm feeling right now. Threatened.
I watch Char, trying to understand how the hell we have arrived here. I knew since the beginning he would be angry, that what I was doing would hurt him, and I didn't consider it.
He acted like a caveman only because I was playing pool with some friends once, now he just discovers I was having the full pool party, with his friend's stick and balls included.
Not only that, but we hid it from him, we met on his back. We have been so reckless, Liam and Dani have advised me, yet I was too weak and stupid to stop it.
Of course, he would freak out.
"It is not what you think", Andrew tries again.
"Oh", he angrily laughs, "so it is not what I'm thinking?" The despise in Char's voice is hurtful, I have never witnessed any similar behavior from him, he doesn't look like my brother.
"So, aren't you sleeping together?" he waits a moment for confirmation or any response, but we are both quiet at this point, sensing his speech has only begun.
"After I provide you a place to stay you thank me by sleeping with my sister??"
"Are you going to tell me you are in love now? That this is fucking serious and you are in a relationship? You of all people Andrew?"
"Answer damn it!" he yells, and I wince.
"Are you in a relationship?"
"No", we respond in unison, and Charles sprints in our direction. Andrew places himself in front of me, blocking me from Char, as he could hurt me.
I know he wouldn't, he has never raised a finger in my direction yet his anger is very well pointed at us and it hurts like physical pain.
"Don't fucking touch her! Stay away from her!" Char yells and only when I see him walking, I perceived he is drunk as well. Drunk enough to stumble while walking.
It is surely increasing his madness, deranging his perception. Both of them are drunk and I don't think it will end well.
I watch Char grabbing Andrew's shirt in his fist, ready to punch him. I wait for Andrew to defend himself except all he does is flinch, so I scream halting Char's purpose of punching him.
"Kelsey, leave", Charles orders me, his stare fix on Andrew who is staring at the ground.
"No, Char you can't fight him, please", I don't understand why the hell Andrew is not defending himself, I take another look at him and his eyes are low in a shameful state as he has accepted defeat.
"I won't if you leave, you have done enough", he completes, and I sob with his statement. His hostility through me right now is evident, he barely glances at me, and it hurts. It hurts understanding I have changed the fate of our relationship tonight.
We were always a team and now I betrayed him and it scares the hell out of me knowing it will have consequences, knowing our relationship won't be the same, knowing I let him down...
I walk slowly in direction of the door; I'm still afraid Char will attack Andrew, provoking this to end in an even worst way than it has to.
Charles doesn't wait until I'm out to continue his speech, "I can't believe I took you in".
"I fucking let you in, with my friends and family, and you-" I turn to watch while reaching the door, Char has his hands on his hair now, snorting before continuing.
"You used my sister to warm your bed?"
"My sister?", he reinforces his speech pointing to himself, and what he is stating sinks in my brain, as I watch Andrew for the last time through the open door. He isn't denying it, he isn't fucking saying a single thing. Why isn't he fucking denying it?
I turn to leave still hearing Char's shoutings "You couldn't bring another girl in her bed, so you decide to sleep with her??"
I sob again, not hearing anything in return from Andrew through the now-closed door.
I'm so confused, overwhelmed by everything announced tonight, he isn't dating Alicia, but he hasn't denied my brother's statement of using me to warm his bed. My bed.
Was it all just convenient for him?
Before I reach Dani's door across the hall it gets spring open by her. She seems startled, closing her gown in a hurry.
"Kels, what the hell is happening? I can hear the screams from my room."
I can't respond, sobbing I walk in her direction and hug her seeking comfort.
"Oh", it's all she says, passing her hand on my hair, I sense her bringing us to her apartment and closing the door.
We sit on the couch, and I retain my arms around her as a support, reassurance.
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to disturb your date".
"Don't worry, he is sleeping", when her hand returns to caress my hair we both hear Charles's apartment door opening followed by steps.
"Don't think for a second on going after her", Char yells, "Leave us the hell alone".
I look at Dani, finding concern in her face, we are both paying attention to any sign arising from the hall. The elevator door opens, and then it is closing, finally ending anything ongoing there concluding by Char hitting his door.
Andrew is gone, Char hates me. And now I got disrupted by what was left, the silence.
"I'm so sorry I wake you", I sob again, I know Andrew for a few months now and I have cried more since than I have ever done for Brandon in four years.
"Don't worry Kels, I'm here for you", she affirms, "and we will be here until you tell me everything, I sense there is more than just tonight, and it is time you tell me".
She waits until I'm calmer after we drink some tea and then we prepared a coffee because it will soon be morning meanwhile I start telling her everything.
Everything, every single detail I remember since the beginning. Instead of understanding it all, once I expressed it in words, it only grows me bewildered.
It is chaotic, he is so confused, and I try providing a sense to it, but it is impossible. It is impossible to follow it when he acts in a way and then alleges the opposite.
And after the whole history leaves my mouth, I realize he has never said anything meaningful, he has never declared he wanted more, he always sought a fling, a fuck buddy, someone to warm his bed as Charles stated, and that's it.
The fucking ugly truth.
Dani shifts on the couch, now leaning against the sofa arm to completely look at me. I use the coffee mug in my hands to warm it up a bit, I'm tired and cold.
"Go ahead, tell me, I'm stupid", I know that already, who would have feelings for her fuck buddy? someone who let it very clear since the beginning he doesn't want anything serious, he doesn't even do dates.
"No, you are not, and maybe it is not enough, but he obviously has feelings for you too".
"Please Dani", I prefer receiving the hurting unpleasant truth now than being fooled and believing in something false. Something it will bite me later and hurt me deeper.
"No, I'm serious, I think you really got him by surprise on it;"
"What are you talking about?"
"Well, I feel I kind of identify with some of his behaviors", I raise a brow, suspecting by behaviors, she meant sleeping around.
"He certainly didn't start it expecting to feel something";
"Oh no shit Sherlock", I respond annoyed, I'm aware of him wanting only a fling.
"Calm down, you are mad with him not me, keep that in mind", she gives me a pointed look and takes a sip of her coffee before continuing.
"On your own way you sort of make it hard for him, you make him doubt and put effort into it".
She starts explaining, but I can't agree with her, I feel I have always agreed with whatever he wanted to, I was the opposite, I was too easy.
"You knew he didn't want more than a fling and it was what you gave to him, instead of pressuring him you accept it and continue with your life", continue with my life? The guy stressed the hell out of me. What she is saying doesn't make any sense.
"Like how he acted with Liam, he was jealous, and possibly it was the first time he saw a girl he was sleeping and interested giving attention to other males, it disturbed him".
"That's nice he is only interested in me because I give attention to other guys."
"It is not what I meant Kels, of course, he has to feel something to feel jealous in the first place, he has been strongly attracted to you since the beginning".
I don't know what to grasp from her words, I honestly don't want to hold to theories.
"Anyway, there is nothing you could do now Kels, he left, and honestly after everything he has to at least come to you, that it's on him".
I look down at her statement, apprehending it is already morning when my phone comes to my view.
"And we don't know if his feelings will be enough to do it, for all you told me about him, he really has some issues with commitment, and that won't simply go away".
I nod because I don't believe he would contact me again, not after tonight. He is not sleeping in my room anymore, it is no longer convenient for him.
"So look at the positive side of it, you for sure did him some good, and showed him something different than he was expecting. But he did the same to you". I stare at her, it's being quite difficult to pay attention and understand her when I have barely slept.
"He makes you open to new things, he made you get out of your comfort zone and be yourself, you are so different than when you were with Brandon".
We both sip our coffees, I'm considering what she is saying, he surely put me out of my comfort zone, no doubt about that.
"It doesn't matter the outcome, you still have wonderful things to come, Kels, France is only one of them."
I keep what she is declaring in mind, think about the future is always the best to move on. I hope I will study in France, at least for sure I will start my internship in two weeks.
I remain watching her, she is right, I have so much to come, things I need to do on my own, dreams I'm not willing to give up again.
I'm not the one who lets things go with the flow, but I have to accept it is out of my control. Something tells me I will see him again, but I can't hold into it.
When I leave the apartment to attend my classes I find a package on my door.
I open a plastic bag then a cardboard gasping when I identify what is on the bottom of it.
Funny how what has started everything, is now finishing it.
I got the sign I needed, he left it for me as his goodbye, indicating it is over.
We are over.
***************************************
>>PS: Sequel FINDING MYSELF is available >> https://www.wattpad.com/story/265570036-finding-myself-18%2B (The link is in the comments as well, you can find it in my profile in case you have any problem with the link).
Damn, I spent so much time on it, it gave me a headache, and still not happy with the result, but I need to go to the next part.😅
Time finding last sentences = 10x time writing the chapter.
I decided to ironically finish this book with the same phrase I have started it. Because something has to end to another to start...
I linked other points with the beginning as well, the first chapter we had some wise words from Dani, as this last one. And, I hope everyone knows what Drew left for Kels?
What are your theories now for the second book? I left some clues in the last chapters, I thought it was evident but I haven't seen it in any theory so far...🧐
I love to read your theories and see how people catch things differently.
I really appreciate all the ideas for the new book's name, you give me excellent ones, and now I'm trying to discern the one that suits it better. Still, open to ideas until I release the second part, don't hesitate!
In case it is not clear: This story isn't finished, I decided to separate it into 2 books, so the second one is the continuity of this one.
When will I release it? As mentioned before, I'm still working on plot details, cover, and everything else to release it.
I have speed up these last chapters because I really wanted to finish this book, between this and work I left everything else on the side which I can't do it anymore. So it will probably take at least a week.
For those who are not following me, I will publish a chapter here announcing when I released the second book.
Continuing this story is my main priority, but I will start editing this first part as well (it is bothering me how some things were written and the mistakes), so if you have it in your reading list, sorry for disturbing you.
And to develop my writing skills, I found some writers communities I want to attend, but DM has too many smuts scenes for it, shocking😲, I know.
So I will probably work as well on another idea I had a while ago (another book), which I will write slowly because this one as I said is my priority. I will let you know when I do it as well.
Anyways, Thank you very much for your support❤️❤️, I hope you have enjoyed this first part, I did and I will be pleased to set 'Complete' in it now! 😍😘😘